Mr. Fu's Redemption

"In the future, come back to eat." After eating the mangoes, Gu Zhou sat next to Fu Junzhuo, looked down at the cotton swabs on the coffee table in front of him, "It's boring for me to eat at home alone."

Fu Junzhuo did not speak.

After several days of insomnia and restlessness, he seemed to have returned to the previous state, severely lacking in mental and physical strength, and unable to concentrate.

If it wasn't for going to work every day, there were people in the company, and every day when he came home, Gu Xiaobai would leave him a light, or he was doing his homework in the living room and waiting for him to come home, Qiuqiu would wag his tail and act coquettishly, Fu Junzhuo didn't know what would happen to him .

But even so, Fu Junzhuo still thought that one day, Gu Zhou would leave.

The suffocation that surrounds him all the time is like a thin layer of plastic bag, covering his mouth and nose, making him unable to breathe.

This is not an exaggeration.

Mental cancer cannot be cured.

He resumed taking Valium, but there seemed to be a tight string in his mind all day - he remembered his ex, Fu Shenyan very much, and he was afraid that Gu Zhou would become the second Fu Shenyan.

In fact, until now, he didn't hate Fu Shenyan so much.

No one is obliged to treat others blindly, and no one is obliged to bear the negative energy brought by others.But if he had to say that he didn't hate at all, it would be unrealistic. What he hated most was probably Fu Shenyan's half-heartedness.

Fu Shenyan blindly treated him well, but he couldn't bear his crazy negative energy. Fu Shenyan withdrew. Before he withdrew, he was probably exhausted physically and mentally. From then on, he regarded Fu Junzhuo as a scourge.

Has Fu Shenyan ever given him happiness?

gave.

And it was the first person who treated him well in his life. For a long time, Fu Shenyan was the brightest and only one in his life, and the initial guide in his life.

However, after dating for so long, Fu Shenyan only knew that he was glamorous, but he never knew that he was a person who couldn't control his emotions.

At that time, Fu Junzhuo didn't know that he was in the early stage of depression, everything was not so obvious, and his behavior was not so difficult to control, until later, he found that he was getting more and more wrong.Even standing on the rehearsal platform for the 25th anniversary celebration, facing the audience below, my mind has already gone blank.

In the previous year, at the 24th anniversary celebration, Fu Shenyan was fascinated by his piano.

What does it feel like to slip from the clouds?

If he is no longer in the cloud, can Fu Shenyan still see him?

He ran away, and sent himself to study in a foreign country with only one notification—a complex of extreme conceit and inferiority complex, fearing that Fu Shenyan would discover his unbearable side.He always felt that as long as he was still glamorous, Fu Shenyan would always love him.

Fu Shenyan was responsive to his requests, but in fact, he didn't know how to get along with him other than this way.Fu Junzhuo didn't say break up, he just walked away innocently, but at that time he never thought that what he did was actually no different from breaking up.

After Fu Junzhuo left, Fu Shenyan became single again, only thinking that Fu Junzhuo was someone who couldn't settle down and live a life, and couldn't be grasped.

Later, Fu Junzhuo adjusted himself and returned to City A, but Fu Shenyan did not wait where he was as he thought, but was with Chen Xiqing.

Also, everything in the world is moving, time is moving, rivers are moving, and people are always walking.No one has the obligation to wait for someone, it's just that Fu Junzhuo overestimated Fu Shenyan's feelings for him.

However, he couldn't accept it.

When he was in A University, he was with Fu Shenyan. He could always tell that Fu Shenyan had a friend named Chen Xiqing who liked Fu Shenyan.It's the kind of liking that never crosses the line and is deeply hidden, even Fu Shenyan himself doesn't know it.However, Fu Junzhuo paid so much attention to Fu Shenyan, and there was a crush beside Fu Shenyan, how could he not see it?

At that time, Fu Shenyan showed that he cared too much about Fu Junzhuo. Fu Junzhuo was like an emperor with great power in his hands.

However, in the end, when he took Fu Shenyan back from Chen Xiqing, he found that what Fu Shenyan loved was never "obtainable".

Fu Shenyan called Chen Xiqing's name in a dream at night.Fu Shenyan went to Chen Xiqing to get back together.Fu Shenyan didn't go home.

Fu Shenyan no longer had him in his eyes.

He hated Fu Shenyan's half-heartedness, and even more hated himself for not being able to turn around proudly like before.

Later, the disease broke out in full swing.

People are not people, ghosts are not ghosts, he finally embarked on the most extreme path.

Fu Junzhuo has always known that Fu Shenyan was never the cause of his depression, but his experience since he was a child, which made this disease deep in his bones, dormant like a poisonous snake, waiting, and when the time comes, he will send him off. Come up for a fatal kiss.

In my lifetime, I probably can't get rid of it.

However, Fu Shenyan did act as a catalyst, but in fact, the root cause was himself, doing something he shouldn't have done.

In the final analysis, it is self-inflicted.

It's all preface.

Now Fu Junzhuo is sitting on the sofa, beside Gu Zhou, Qiuqiu is sleeping in the kennel at Gu Zhou's feet.

There's a word that's as scary as depression, and that word is assimilation.

What is assimilation, in other words, is to make a person the same as yourself and drag him to hell with you.

At that time, Fu Junzhuo would run away because he was afraid that his dark side would be discovered by Fu Shenyan; now he doesn't want to start a new relationship, but he has learned something from Fu Shenyan, and he is afraid that he will bring this endless pain to him. To Gu Zhou, he is afraid of assimilating Gu Zhou.

The so-called fear of Gu Zhou becoming the second Fu Shenyan does not mean that Gu Zhou will be half-hearted like Fu Shenyan, but that Gu Zhou will also be overwhelmed by negative energy in the end.

What a disaster, how pitiful.

Fu Junzhuo raised his head and looked at the small window in the living room. The sky outside was very blue.

The weather is really nice today.

Gu Zhou looked at Fu Junzhuo's pale side face and couldn't take his eyes off it.The person sitting next to him seemed to have no soul in his body, only an empty shell left to confuse Gu Zhou.

As young as Gu Zhou, the astringent feeling that he didn't know where he climbed up occupied his heart.He wanted to deal with Jun Zhuo well, with a strong feeling that he had never had before: "... Senior, if you don't speak, then you agree. Let's eat fried noodles tomorrow. I have studied a new recipe recently... It's delicious. .”

After not eating well for a few days, Gu Zhou saw that Fu Junzhuo lost a lot of weight and his complexion became very bad. The dark circles under his eyes were as heavy as a panda. Fu Junzhuo's steps were vain.

Like a dying chicken.

Gu Zhou was very anxious and wanted to cure the sick chicken: "I know, but you have no dinner at all, but you don't know how to face me. Then... I won't put any pressure on you, let's go back to the same as before. Together After eating, we can take the ball out for a walk together in the future, it is too young to go out now, but it wants to go out to play when it grows up."

Qiuqiu was sleeping, her ears were shaking, but she didn't wake up.

Gu Zhou continued: "Also, when the needle eye is healed, we will take the ball to take a bath together. In the future, when the weather is hot, you can also wash it at home, and you can also hug it to bed."

"Qiuqiu has a bad temper, do you want to send him to a dog school and become a cultured dog?"

"..."

Sentence by sentence, whispered in Fu Junzhuo's ear all the time.

Fu Junzhuo finally turned his head to look at Gu Zhou, his eyes met.

Gu Zhou's gaze was very clean, and even more cautious at the moment.

No, he can't see Gu Zhou like this.

After all, Fu Junzhuo was reluctant to let Gu Zhou talk to himself so cautiously. He nodded, tried his best to smile at him, and said, "Okay."

Life seems to be back to the beginning.

The two watched a movie together and had dinner together. In the evening, Fu Junzhuo went to check on his succulents and the succulent guardrail, and Gu Zhou helped him.The needle eye of Qiuqiu was not healed, and he walked up and down in the living room with small steps very reservedly.

In fact, it is very simple. Sometimes life will be much easier if you don’t blindly dig into the corners.Fu Junzhuo couldn't understand this truth at the moment, but the depression in his chest was slowly dissipating, it was true.

Of course Gu Zhou was also very happy. Even if the senior didn't agree to date him, he didn't refuse firmly. He could feel that Fu Junzhuo was very gentle to him.

The future is still so long.

Gu Zhou was full of hope.

That night, before going to bed, Gu Zhou made Fu Junzhuo a cup of hot milk, watched him drink it, then took the empty cup and squatted in front of Fu Junzhuo: "Senior, stop taking Diazepam, it's too harmful to your body."

Fu Junzhuo was taken aback for a moment, his lips that had just drank milk felt warm and moist.

However, how can you sleep without taking diazepam?

Gu Zhou seems to have high hopes for hot milk: "Let's try drinking a cup of hot milk every night to see if it can improve a little. If it doesn't work, we can find other ways."

Fu Junzhuo nodded: "Okay."

After taking a shower, without taking medicine, I climbed into bed directly.

Of course, how can a glass of milk fight against years of insomnia.With the mentality of checking whether the milk tube works or not, Fu Junzhuo almost had no sleep all night.The next day, he appeared in front of Gu Zhou with vain footsteps.

Gu Zhou saw that his milk didn't work.

The two people's weekends are never very constructive. They just cook at home, eat, play with dogs, and watch movies.

Fu Junzhuo didn't fall asleep at night, and couldn't sleep during the day, so he dragged his slippers and came out to watch DVDs with Gu Zhou.

Looking at it, Fu Junzhuo dozed off beside Gu Zhou.

Of course Gu Zhou also found out, he covered Fu Junzhuo with a blanket, and then stepped in the direction of Fu Junzhuo's crooked, a little more strength - Fu Junzhuo lay on Gu Zhou's lap and fell into a deep sleep for two hours.

Later, Gu Zhou was afraid that he would catch a cold, so he gently carried him to Fu Junzhuo's bed, covered the quilt, turned on the air conditioner, opened the door, and prepared the English speech in the living room by himself.

The hours are quiet.

The day was clearly a few days ago, and it became messy because of a confession, and both of them experienced more or less suffering.However, time has passed, and the current state is still calm.

In such a modest room, Gu Zhou was writing manuscripts, Fu Junzhuo was asleep, and Qiuqiu secretly gnawed on the data cable.

It seems, also very good.