A letter from a strange man

After saying goodbye to Zhang Hui, after walking for a long time, Jing Ling still felt a little unreal. He couldn't believe that everything that happened that day actually existed.

Zhang Hui, whom he longed for so much, Zhang Hui who had appeared countless times in his dreams, actually stood beside him, sat beside him, breathing with him.

He even went to meet his mother and accomplished what he had hoped for.

He was even in his arms, crying like a baby.Jing Ling knew that Zhang Hui just wanted to give him comfort and support.

But when he leaned against Zhang Hui's arms, with his face pressed against his neck, he could feel the temperature of his flesh and smell his body.

For so many years, the grief of his mother's death, the pain of being unable to love and longing, and the wandering of a lonely person flooded his heart instantly, and many emotions flooded his eyes, only crying embarrassingly in his arms.

It is not wrong for Jing Ling to admit that he loves to cry. From the beginning of his memory, he always loves to shed tears, but he has never shed tears in front of others except in front of his mother.

He is too sensual and sensitive, sometimes just because of the fictional script, the low music, the withering flowers or the dark weather.

Crying is a little secret that he has never revealed to others, but after he became an adult and after his mother passed away, all the appearances of his crying in front of others were in front of Zhang Hui.

On the night by the lake in the late summer and early autumn of the campus, in the dark and messy toilet of the bar, next to his mother's graveyard when he was 32 years old.

Tears shed for himself, tears for him, tears for the past, and in his past, chapters accounted for most of it.

He asked Zhang Hui to take him to the corner of Fang Zhiyu's clinic, and he lied to Zhang Hui that he was going to visit a friend, which was actually a regular psychological consultation.

He pushed open the door of the clinic, and the assistant Xiao Jiang saw him coming and smiled at him: "You haven't come for a long time, I miss you a little bit."

Jing Ling's expression was a little loose, he still couldn't express his emotions freely with his expression, but Xiao Jiang was still very happy, she felt the friendly meaning that Jing Ling wanted to convey.

She still remembers the first time she saw Jing Ling two years ago, like a puppet without a soul, with no emotion on his face, but according to his boss Fang Zhiyu, this is already Jing Ling. It's recovered well.

It's hard to imagine what he used to look like.

Fang Zhiyu said that Jing Ling was a patient he met when he was studying in Japan. For about four years, Jing Ling had been immersed in a very closed and depressed state, and even had a tendency to self-harm. It took him a lot of effort to guide Jing Ling out slowly and return to a normal life. Although sometimes it seems a bit dull, he no longer rejects life and lives.

Jing Ling is good-looking, the kind of person who is unremarkable in the crowd, but the more you look at it, the more attractive it is.

Xiao Jiang felt sorry for Jing Ling, she asked Fang Zhiyu: "Why is he depressed?"

Fang Zhiyu didn't tell her that it is a basic quality for a doctor to keep his patients' secrets secret, but after contacting Jing Ling many times in the past two years, she had more or less guesses, and the reason she thought about most was Feeling hurt.

For a person like Jing Ling, if he loves someone, he will love him very much. He hides his emotions and thoughts so deeply.

"Just sit and wait, Dr. Fang's patient is coming to an end soon." Xiao Jiang said.

"Well, there's no rush." ​​Jing Ling sat on the sofa in the reception room, closed her eyes and rested.

He suddenly remembered something that happened in [-].

When Jing Ling returned home from London, he had a serious illness. The illness lasted for a month, but after he recovered from the physical pain, he still felt that some changes had taken place in his body.

He has become more and more paranoid and silent, he will have self-doubt and self-disgust every day, he completely traces the fact that Zhang Hui does not remember him at all as his own reason, he even has a kind of "born a human, I Sorry" sad.

He spends a lot of time taking pictures of weird things after class every day. He will go to the market to take pictures of the stomach and blood that are taken out when killing fish, he will take pictures of the entanglement and erosion of flesh in the red light district, and he will take pictures of those Extremely small and slightly disgusting things to get that fleeting feeling of happiness and fulfillment.

All his previous happiness was related to Zhang Hui.

He will work hard to save money to travel, to the places that Zhang Hui has visited, he has been to the beach in Nice, France, to bask in the sun, he has walked through the streets and alleys of Paris, and he has also been to Rome, Italy to see the ancient civilizations, He has also been to Venice and sat quietly on a boat looking at the surrounding scenery.

He has also visited Greece, the Vatican, and the scenery that he has seen in countless chapters.

He has photographed deserts, coasts, sunshine, forests, auroras, waterfalls, volcanoes...

There are also all kinds of buildings, whether they are spectacular and novel or ancient and artistic, he will carefully frame and shoot them, using a lot of skills and a lot of energy.

He uploaded them on the public social software, how he hoped that the photos he took could be seen by Zhang Hui and get a little appreciation from Zhang Hui.

All his later unhappiness was also related to Zhang Hui.

He is used to peeking at Zhang Hui's life from a distance, Zhang Hui hardly posts about his girlfriend or love affairs on social software, at least the travel photos are some scenery and his personal photos.

It wasn't until he saw the scene in the rain with his own eyes that he knew that he had started a new relationship.

It took him a long time to find his girlfriend's account on Zhang Hui's instagram. Her account uploaded many photos of the two of them together, as well as common photos.

There are single photos of them traveling at the same place, as well as those romantic testimonies, such as the shadow of the two close together in the sun, Zhang Hui's back on the beach with his upper body bare, and the honey-colored * in the sun *.

Jing Ling looks at their stories like masochistic every day, shedding her own tears in other people's stories.

When one day he finds that this can't make up for the emptiness in his heart, he doesn't even know what he should do.

Until the pain woke him up, he felt the warm liquid slide down his arm to the ground, he heard the sound of "click" and "click", he looked down and saw a piece of scarlet.

He didn't know when there was a long cut in his arm, who made it?Then he heard the sound of the fruit knife falling from his other hand.

It hurts, it hurts.But he gradually felt fulfilled from it, the kind of proof that he was still alive, that he was still a living person.

His first reaction was not to stop the bleeding, but to pick up his favorite camera and record his blood flow and the texture of his flesh with extreme visual impact. He gradually fell in love with this process.

Later, he was not satisfied with the previous wound, he thought it was not as beautiful as he imagined, so he added a new bloodstain on another intact piece of skin until the effect he was satisfied with was achieved.

The life during that time was chaotic for Jing Ling, he didn't even know people anymore, he would have hallucinations, and mistook many, many people.

He couldn't remember how long his life like that lasted until he met Fang Zhiyu, a Chinese fellow whom he had met several times while shopping for food in Lawson.

That was when Jing Ling was living a normal life, and he attended a few gatherings of Chinese students stationed in Tokyo. Coincidentally, Fang Zhiyu was still from his hometown, so the two chatted a little more.

Fang Zhiyu is very talkative, which has something to do with his professional psychology. When he speaks, Jing Ling will not feel embarrassed but will feel comfortable.

"Hey! Jing Ling, long time no see!" Fang Zhiyu has a very sunny personality, giving people a warm and sunny feeling.

Jing Ling stared blankly past Fang Zhiyu, as if no one was talking to him.

Fang Zhiyu felt Jing Ling's abnormality, and later he found the scars accumulated on Jing Ling's arm. He immediately realized the seriousness of the matter, and he forced Jing Ling to undergo treatment.

This rule lasted for four years.

Later, both he and Jing Ling worked in Japan for a period of time. After Jing Ling returned to China, Fang Zhiyu was really worried about Jing Ling, and followed her back to China to develop.

……

"Jing Ling wake up." Someone called him.

Jing Ling opened her eyes and couldn't adapt to the light for a while, she squinted her eyes slightly, and saw Fang Zhiyu standing in front of him in a white coat.

Fang Zhiyu looked at him amusedly: "You fell asleep here, it seems that you are in a good state of mind recently."

Jing Ling looked a little cold, but Fang Zhiyu caught the expression of the corner of his mouth slightly twitching, and then he heard Jing Ling say: "It's okay."

Tsk tsk, it seems very happy, not bad, the state is much better than last time, Fang Zhiyu thought.

Jing Ling walked into the inner room and sat on the light-colored sofa he usually sat on. He saw Fang Zhiyu go to the table and sit down, then looked at him.

"Tell me, tell me how you are doing recently." He unscrewed the cap of the pen and wrote something on the paper.

Jing Ling thought for a while and said, "I met him."

"How do you feel this time?" Fang Zhiyu asked.

Jing Ling organized her words a little: "We are friends now."

"It's not a hallucination this time?" Fang Zhiyu stared into his eyes, trying to observe his deep emotions.

"What happened between you two?"

"No."

"You have to be honest with me."

"He finally remembered who I am." Jing Ling said.

They chatted for nearly two hours, most of the time Fang Zhiyu was asking questions and Jing Ling was answering, Jing Ling didn't say much as usual, but it was much better than when she didn't say anything at the beginning.

Before leaving, Fang Zhiyu handed the prepared medicine to Jing Ling, and then said to him: "This time, the dose is less. With your current recovery ability, you should be able to stop taking the medicine after a while, but the one that calms the nerves I have to keep eating."

Jing Ling nodded: "Yes, I see."

Just now, he was playing the role of a doctor, but now he is playing the role of a friend. Fang Zhiyu said to Jing Ling: "Xiao Ling, be happy, enjoy the happiness of the moment, and remember that happiness."

Jing Ling smiled at him, then turned around and walked into the night, Fang Zhiyu watched his thin back gradually disappear into the night, and then smiled too.

After Zhang returned home, he took a shower and washed up briefly, and then he went upstairs. He planned to go to bed early tonight.

But he was lying on the bed and couldn't sleep, and he didn't want to read books or watch things at work, so he opened Weibo and found that a design blogger he followed before had posted a nine-square grid, which was a group of Greek buildings. He has been there and took some photos, but it is far from as good as this group of photos.

Then he saw the words at the end of the copy: Handling: ins: SEIREI.

Zhang Hui was taken aback, Jing Ling?Wait a minute, has he ever seen Jing Ling's works?

He opened his favorites, he collected a lot of pictures of buildings, macro and micro, and general details, and he found that the seven sets of photos he collected before were all transferred from Jing Ling's instagram.

Zhang Hui laughed, he and Jing Ling really cut each other constantly, where in life do we not meet each other?It turned out that Jing Ling existed in every place of his life, and before he knew it, Jing Ling had already invaded his life circle.

He clicked on Jingling’s Instagram again, and he found that many places they had been to overlapped amazingly, but Jingling’s photos were far more moving and beautiful than his ones. If you compare the two photos together, it’s hard to recognize This turned out to be a place.

Unknowingly, he turned to the photos from the previous few years. He had a subtle feeling that he couldn't understand Jing Ling's works at that time. They looked a little distorted and messy. He didn't know what happened during that time. But creation is always closely related to a person's mood, including him, and the designs created in different states of mind are still different.

He suddenly received a WeChat message from Jing Ling.

Elf: "Thank you today."

Zhang Hui switched to the WeChat interface, and he replied: "Thank you, please treat me to tea someday."

Jing Ling edited for a long time, but she replied with a word of "yes", Zhang Hui smiled, thinking about the cuteness of this kid who struggled to write and delete.

He teased him: "I want you to do it yourself."

This time Jing Ling responded quickly, but it seemed that she had considered the invitation for a long time and said seriously: "Come to my house on weekends."

Zhang Hui smiled and said, "Okay."

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Ah, don't worry about the little elf, it will be sweet!Ask for favorites and comments