england autumn

After being discharged from the hospital, my mother temporarily put aside her company affairs and took care of me wholeheartedly.

I don't know if it's because my body is too weak, or because Faey's departure hit me too hard, my whole body seems to be completely collapsed.

Most of the time I lie in bed, read a book, or sleep, and occasionally get out of bed and walk, and after a few steps, I am panting and sweating profusely.Sometimes my mother would use a wheelchair to push me to Hyde to bask in the sun and enjoy some fresh air when the weather was fine.

It is early summer, and the park is lush and full of tourists.The swans in the lake walked gracefully in groups, the squirrels on the roadside were busy devouring the food scattered by tourists, and in the gardens of Kensington Palace, various birds chirped happily.

Sometimes there will be teenagers on skateboards roaring past me, sometimes well-behaved children will give way to us, and sometimes kind old people will give me friendly and encouraging smiles.

And all this has nothing to do with me.

Sitting in a wheelchair, I looked at this vibrant world expressionlessly, not knowing what was the point of being alive, such a useless person.

My mother tried to amuse me, asking me if I wanted ice cream, and asking if I wanted to feed the squirrels.

squirrel.

Thinking of that afternoon, she in blue clothes and short boots, with a sunny face, patted me from behind.

There were no more tears to shed, only heart twitching.

I shook my head and said to my mother, no need.

Things are people and not everything.

Ren Fei, if you leave, everything will be over.

My mother stayed with me for a month, and the company's affairs had piled up. She had to go back to China and wanted to take me with her, but the doctor said that my body was really not suitable for long-distance flights. In desperation, she had to hire a I work part-time, come to take care of my daily life at regular times every day, and ask a few friends in London to take care of me.

Before leaving, I wanted to ask my mother several times if it was her who asked Fei to leave.

However, I couldn't bear to speak when I saw my mother was exhausted and cautious with me.

Yes, so what?No, so what?

what can I do?

If it was the mother who asked her to leave, was the mother at fault?No, which parent would want their child to take a path that is not recognized by the mainstream society?Was Faey wrong?No, she knew that my mother only had me, and her departure was for my family.

If it wasn't for my mother to let her go, it wouldn't be the promise I made before, I just love you, if you want to leave, I will never stop you.

No one is wrong, the one who is wrong is me.

It was me who gave everyone trouble.

So I'm the damn one, Dad, why don't you take me?Why must I come back and endure this kind of pain that is worse than death?

My child, my mother stepped forward, hugged me tightly, and promised my mother not to abuse myself and take good care of my body. Everything my mother does is for you.

I suddenly hated this sentence.

Everything I do is for you.

So I'm always wrong.

I just promised in a low voice, Mom, don't worry, I will live well, I promised Dad.

My mother was a little surprised, she probably thought I was sick and confused, and looked at my face carefully over and over again.

But I know that during the few days when I was in a coma, my father did come, the gentle and gentle man who is said to love me very much, but I only saw it in photos, he was watching me silently from somewhere, and he was always there.

I promise you, Dad, to live, but now, I don't know what to do, to live well.

Shortly after my mother left, Kary brought Xiaoxin and Cathy to visit me.

Xiaoxin’s condition is much better than that of Christmas. She no longer pretends to be innocent and lively, and Cathy’s temperament is more and more outstanding. She brought me a lot of health products that are said to be good for the heart. I joked to her Said, when I was in China, everyone said that only Chinese people are keen on taking health care products. I dare you to believe this~ She curled her lips and said in not fluent Chinese, listening to their nonsense.

Absolutely.

Kary, after laughing, I said to her with some concern, after we met last time, I called Xiaoya, and the voice sounded like she was in a nightclub... For some reason, I was always a little worried about her.

Kary replied, I also looked for her two days ago, and it must be in a very noisy environment, um... I don't know what's wrong with this child, why does he like going to nightclubs so much...

There is a gloomy feeling in my heart, I don't know if it is because of me...

But I don't know how to explain it to them.

At this time, Xiaoxin, who was scrolling Weibo at the side, suddenly jumped up and yelled, it's broken!

We went closer and saw that a public microblog of local international students posted the latest news. A Chinese female international student suspected of parking illegally while drunk was hit by a large truck speeding forward. The student was seriously injured and admitted to the hospital.

The deformed mini on the picture has the license plate of Xiaoya.

That year, Xiaoya, who had just turned 17, couldn't wait to take the driver's license test and bought a second-hand mini. She waved her driver's license and happily took a photo with the car, just like yesterday.

Cathy called her immediately.

It took a long time to connect, but the person who answered the phone was a man.

Cathy's expression became more and more serious.

Girls, she said seriously, Ya was indeed injured, and now she is being rescued in a hospital, and the situation is not optimistic.

Kary and Xiaoxin exclaimed, but my hands and feet were cold and I couldn't speak.

Rui, you stay at home, Kary, new, we are going to the hospital now, Cathy said calmly.

No, I refused softly, I have to go, you can go first, give me the address, I will go slowly.

Well, Cathy said immediately, we don't worry about you being at home by yourself, Kary, let's go first, Xin, you go slowly with Rui, don't worry.

Xiaoxin nodded.

Xiaoya, Yaya, you must have nothing to do, otherwise, I will die forever.

When Xiaoxin pushed me to the hospital, Kary greeted me.

Xiaoya is still in the operating room, the doctor said that her life is temporarily out of danger, but her right leg was severely hit, and she is still undergoing surgery, there is a possibility... that she will become disabled...

Kary burst into tears.

Damn, Xiaoxin scolded.

I cover my mouth.

After a few hours.

When Xiaoya was pushed out, I almost didn't recognize her. I haven't seen her for several weeks. She was so thin that she was covered in bandages, almost like a mummy.

Ever since Fei left, what I think about every day is what is wrong with me and how to get out of it.Now, seeing Xiaoya like this, my heart feels like it has been hollowed out, everything is meaningless, I just want her to get better.

The anesthetic passed and she opened her eyes.

Those big eyes that were lively and lively, those big eyes that were once charming and enchanting, were dull and gloomy.

I was pushed by Xiaoxin, carefully holding her bony right hand with the IV drip in both hands, calling out in the gentlest voice I can, Yaya.

Rui, what's wrong with you?Why in a wheelchair?Me, where am I...

Her voice is hoarse.

Yaya, Kary said, you were in a car accident... But it's okay, the doctor said that you are fine, as long as you rest well, everything can recover... Kary said, tears filled his eyes again.

Dead woman... She smiled weakly, of course I will be fine... I have something to do... Who will come, scold you...

Because her lungs were also damaged, she coughed violently.

Ya, Cathy's expression is still very serious, I always thought you were a very rational and mature girl, why did you make such a big mistake of drinking and driving, do you know that this is very dangerous!

Sorry... Maybe I got kicked in the head by a donkey... Sorry... for making everyone worry... She is very weak, but she is still smiling.

Boys... I have something to talk to Ruirui in private, please... She coughed again.

Okay, Rui, take care of Haoya, we are waiting outside, Cathy dragged Xiaoxin and Kary out.

Holding her hand, I felt very distressed, and said to her, Yaya, why are you doing this...

Ruirui...you tell me first, what's wrong with you...are you sick because of her...

I bowed my head, she left... went to America... she didn't want me anymore...

She did not speak.

Yaya, have you been going to nightclubs lately... I asked, even drunk driving?

She was silent for a moment, and said to me slowly, Lin Rui, do you know that when I was 16 years old, I fell in love with you when we first met.

My eyes widened in surprise.

I have never seen such a shy little girl who blushes when she speaks.Everyone else is joking and vying to be the protagonist, but you are the only one who will always be the listener quietly.She is as careful as a hair, and treats everyone very well. She never says anything, and only knows to take care of others silently.Read a lot, talk less, and what I say sounds unremarkable at first glance, but when I think about it carefully, it has endless aftertaste.At that time, I thought, this little girl is so interesting, it would be great if I could be with her every day... There was a smile on the corner of her mouth, but her eyes drifted into the distance, do you think I really like biochemistry?I have played piano and dance since primary school, and Kary’s Imperial Art is the school of my dreams, but in order to be with you, I worked hard to study for two years, for fear that I would not be able to apply for IC... I thought I could be together every day from now on, teasing you Playing, enjoying your warm shoulders and innocent smile... Then, she appeared... You sank in like a fool, just seeing the way you looked at her, I knew there was no hope for me... But Ah, but, Lin Rui, I'm really not reconciled. I kissed you that night, thinking I could force myself to leave... But I was wrong. I used to see you lose your soul because of Fei, and scold you for being worthless, but I, Why not...

Yaya, stop talking, I'm choked up, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

Forget it, Rui, she smiled wryly, this is all fate, none of us is sorry for anyone...Look at the two of us now, heh...The bitter drama doesn't have such an acting...

One last question for you, Rui, if she doesn't come back, can you stay with me?There was a gleam of light in her large eyes.

I don't know how to answer.

Faey, only in front of her can I go crazy and do stupid things without scruple; only in front of her can I change from a quiet listener to a chatterbox; Unprecedented peace of mind; only her departure will completely break me time and time again.

But how do I reject a seriously injured friend?

Yaya, we will all get better...I hold her hand, together, get better...I will always be with you, forever.

The author has something to say:

All the free time on the weekend is used for writing, please forgive me...

Next week is another busy week, it is estimated that about two chapters can be updated (￣▽￣)