england autumn

At noon after finishing the last class of the autumn semester, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the short winter sunshine leisurely, when I received a call from Faey.

Rui, have you finished the exam?

Hearing her gentle voice, my whole body melts.

Well, just finished the exam, how's your thesis going?

It should be fine, she chuckled, do you have any arrangements for the afternoon?If you have nothing to do, come to me for afternoon tea. I made some desserts today.

Big things have to be left behind.

ok, what time...

He hurried home to take a bath and changed clothes, let go of the ponytail that had been tied all the time, and changed into a beige printed skirt with a cashmere coat over it.

Faey's apartment is simple and elegant, without any extra decorations. On the white desk are computers and all kinds of documents neatly placed. Only a few white seal dolls lying on the tender green sheets make people realize that this is a Girl's apartment.

She was wearing a brown home dress, her hair was tied up casually, and she was more lazy and casual than usual.

When I arrived, she was putting desserts on the plate, and she still had gloves on. When she saw me coming, she was not too polite, she just smiled and let me sit down by myself, and she will be fine soon.

I put the newly bought lilies in the vase on the windowsill and sat on the small sofa in front of the window.

Faey's apartment has a high floor and a wide view. From a distance, you can see the dome of St. Paul's Church and the densely packed high-rise buildings in the Financial City.From this perspective, London is magnificent, and there are so many people, the tragedy and comedy of life are staged in this city.

I stared out the window in a daze.

Alright, Faey serves dessert and black tea, what are you doing, kid?She tapped my forehead lightly, and a fresh fragrance came to my nostrils.

I was a little embarrassed, and said, no, just enjoy the scenery~

She smiled, there is nothing to see in the building ~ come, try my craft ~

All kinds of pastries, cherry cakes, scones, salmon sandwiches, etc. are placed on the exquisite bone china plate.

It looked delicious, I admired it, and picked up a piece of cake, the sweet cherries and smooth cream complement each other, coupled with the faint aroma of kirsch, it was wonderful.

She sat across from me, looked at me, and suddenly laughed.

What are you... laughing at... I feel guilty, thinking to myself, is eating too ugly?

Hmm... No... She held back her laugh, and then said, I just feel that you are dressed like a lady today, and you have matured a lot ~ uh...

It doesn't matter, children will love to dress up when they grow up~

I'm not a kid anymore... I murmured.

She smiled and shook her head.

By the way, she asked, when I woke up that day, I found myself lying on the sofa, and... resting on your leg... She paused slightly, as if she was a little shy, how did you transport me there... I I'm so sleepy, I don't know anything after falling asleep...

This... I... the one who carried you over... I bowed my head.

Ah, she whispered, you... have great strength...

It's because you are too light... By the way, why are you so thin?

I don't know, I actually ate a lot... She shrugged helplessly, then, did you just sit all night?

Ok……

Why are you so nice to me?She stared straight at me.

I...Because you are also very kind to me. I always remember the scene of you taking care of me on the plane two years ago. In fact, I was very moved at that time, but I was too introverted at that time. Open my mouth... I regretted it when you left, why didn't I dare to ask you for a contact information... When I saw you later, I felt that God was so kind to me, so I just wanted to... just want to treat you well... do my best ...

In the end, the voice was as thin as a mosquito.

She chuckled and teased me, don't you like me?

I just like you very much!

Not knowing where the courage came from, I blurted out.

There was a flash of surprise in her eyes, then she smiled and patted my head, okay, thank you, kid~ I stubbornly said to her, I am not a kid anymore, Faey, I just like you, I like you very much Maybe it's because of your various auras that attracted me, maybe it's because of your care for me, maybe it's nothing but I met you and fell in love with you.I know that I am younger than you, I am still a student, I have nothing, all I have is a heart.But I won't force you, I will try my best not to put pressure on you, I just want you to know that I, Lin Rui, like you, and I hope you let me have this right, that's enough.

I said the words of half my life in one breath, and my face was flushed.

She kept her head down drinking her tea without speaking.

For a moment, she raised her head and looked at me with soft eyes, like a deer.

Rui, she said softly, although you don't like to hear it, I still want to say that you are only 18 years old. At this age, you often can't tell the boundaries of feelings. You can't tell what it means to like, love, or appreciate.Sometimes, you are attracted to something outside of a person, and you like him, blindly thinking that everything about this person is perfect.But in fact, people are complicated. True love is mixed with various concessions, compromises and tolerances. The joys and sorrows in this are beyond what you can understand now.It's easy to like, but then what?If, as you said, you like me, but don't ask for anything in return, one day, ten days, maybe you can persist.But how long has it been?On the day when you are finally unbalanced, you are still so young and have countless possibilities. I don't want you to waste your beautiful time on me.

Her voice has always been soft, without a trace of disdain or ridicule.

But!Faey, I said, maybe I’m naive to say that, but you are the first person I like, I don’t know what will happen to me in the future, I only know that if I don’t love you now, the future me will definitely love you. I will regret it!No matter what the ending is, please don't refuse me to treat you well, can you?Please!

I'm about to cry.

Then her cell phone rang.

Sorry, excuse me, she picked up her phone and went outside.

Faintly heard, um... ok... I will go to the airport... I miss you too...

My heart trembled.

She came back and sat down, still looking at me tenderly.

She is so beautiful, after resting, her skin has returned to its previous crystal clear, her black and smooth hair reflects the color of the sun, and the most beautiful thing is her big eyes, which are as clean as a pool of water.

I asked cautiously, can I know who it is?

She bit her lip and hesitated for a moment, I, my boyfriend...he, is in the United States for an exchange, and will come back for Christmas vacation in a few days...

I lowered my eyes, is it still... the boy from two years ago?

Hmm... We have been together for three years, classmates of the master's degree... She explained in a low voice.

Okay... sorry... it's me, excuse me... I'm choked up.

Rui, don't be like this, she held my hand, you are still young, you are so beautiful, there will be...

I broke free gently and said softly, I only want you.

I still have something to do, so I will take my leave first, holding back my tears and getting up.

I'll see you off, she stood up hastily.

No need, I pressed her shoulder, it's... cold outside...

Put on the coat and go out, she silently followed me to the door, before opening the door, I turned around, okay, can I give you a hug?

She nodded.

Hold her tightly, bury your head in her black and fragrant hair, speechless, for a long while, whisper, Merry Christmas, that bouquet of flowers, I hope you like it.

She patted my back lightly and said, I like it very much, and you should be happy too.

She resolutely closed the door and saw her thin figure disappearing into the darkness.

A person walked and cried in the cold wind, but it was raining lightly again, and his hair was wet with rain and tears, making it tangled.

I didn't know how to get home, and as soon as I took off my clothes, I lay on the bed and continued to cry until I had no energy left.Yet at the thought of losing her, the one I loved, tears welled up again.