Song of Glass

What does "birthday" really mean?

Pu Songqiu used to think that this day was used to thank his parents.

When he was in the first year of high school, he once overheard his parents chatting. At that time, his father had just been diagnosed with cancer, but he didn't know it yet.

At that time, he heard his father say in a strong nasal voice: "Sometimes I really feel sorry for the child. I didn't provide him with any good conditions in the first place, and I still do it now."

A man in his forties, sitting there holding a tissue and crying.

At that time, Pu Songqiu didn't think much about it at all. He didn't think about why his father suddenly said such a thing, but pushed the door in, pretending to be okay, and took the test paper with full marks for them to sign. When his father signed for him, he Said: "I think our family is doing well."

Pu Songqiu never envied those classmates who had cars to pick them up, nor envied them that they could wear hundreds of thousands of sneakers.

He feels that the best life has never been about how much money he has, but about a healthy and understanding family.

Mountains of gold and silver are piled up in the house, but there is no one he loves in the house, and that is not what he wants.

Therefore, for him, "birthday" is actually a day to be grateful to his parents for allowing him to come into this world and for holding his hand to raise him.

Later, when I met Jiao Wangyu, Pu Songqiu "loved" another person, because the two people had similar birthdays, so this day had an extra layer of meaning.

He secretly believed that this was also a "tacit understanding" between the two. They came to this world in the same year, only 40 hours apart, as if they had made an appointment in a previous life.

After the second year of high school, that is, after Pu Songqiu transferred to Jiao Wangyu's school, he never celebrated his birthday in a serious manner. He once saw Jiao Wangyu's table full of birthday gifts, and the very popular Jiao Wangyu just left on his birthday. When I entered the classroom, I was filled with gifts from everyone.

He is not jealous, on the contrary, he is envious and happy.

He hopes that Jiao Wangyu will always be loved.

Jiao Wangyu said: "Then it's settled!"

He looked at Pu Songqiu, his eyes were as bright as if washed in the clean spring rain: "If you have any ideas, just tell me, if you don't like it, don't force it."

"No." Pu Songqiu said, "It's nice to celebrate your birthday with you."

When Jiao Wangyu heard him say this, his expression changed for a moment, but the light in the bus was dim, even Pu Songqiu who was sitting beside him didn't notice.

"Okay." Jiao Wangyu said, "I think it's pretty good too."

After that, Jiao Wangyu sat down on the chair again and turned his head to look out the window.

He felt that the darkness was really scary, and there must be many naughty little elves hidden in the darkness. Those little elves like to play tricks and create illusions the most.

Because just now, when he looked at Pu Songqiu, the other person's gaze made him feel full of affection, and he had never caught such a message in the gaze of others.

Gentle and quiet, like the sea in the middle of the night, people know the danger but seem to be embraced firmly.

Jiao Wangyu was a little flustered, he felt that he was thinking too much.

After the military training, the freshmen finally started the formal courses.

Compared with the high school days, although there is no "liberation" as in the legend, it is indeed a lot easier. At the same time, various clubs and student unions in the school have also begun to recruit new students.

Of the four people in the dormitory, except for Pu Songqiu, the three are very interested in club activities, especially Cheng Er, who signed up for five clubs by himself.

Pu Songqiu didn't want to get involved, but Ying Zong still came to him from time to time.

On the last day before the National Day holiday, Pu Songqiu and the others had no classes in the afternoon, and after lunch, Jiao Wangyu, Cheng Er and Jian Shao all started to pack their things and prepare to go home.

Cheng Er left first, followed by Jian Shao.

Jiao Wangyu's father happened to be here for a meeting, and he could drive over to pick him up after three o'clock.

Only Jiao Wangyu and Pu Songqiu were left in the dormitory, and Jiao Wangyu asked, "Brother Qiu, you're on eleven or seven days off, aren't you going back?"

Pu Songqiu was sitting there turning the pages of the book, but he wasn't actually reading it at all, he was just flipping through it in boredom.

"Not going back."

"Then uncle and aunt didn't urge you?"

It was the first time that Jiao Wangyu left home for so long when he was in college. When he was in middle school, he could not wait to go home for lunch, not to mention the seven-day holiday, even his parents could not wait to come and see him on weekends.

"No," Pu Songqiu said, "I'm used to it."

Jiao Wangyu remembered that when Pu Songqiu was in high school, he seemed to say that he lived in some aunt's house, but at that time the two of them didn't talk much, so he didn't understand at all.

"Then how about my dad coming to pick me up later, why don't you go with us?" Jiao Wangyu thought about staying here by himself for seven days, which would be boring and scary. Anyway, they are all in the same place, so it's okay to go back together.

"No need." Pu Songqiu said, "You go back to have fun after vacation."

Pu Songqiu put the books in his schoolbag, got up and prepared to go out.

"I'll go to the library, see you after the festival." Pu Songqiu left this sentence behind.

Jiao Wangyu had the feeling that his hot face was sticking to someone's cold ass. Although this feeling would occasionally occur in high school, it hadn't been like this for a long time since the two of them went to college and became roommates.

Jiao Wangyu was a little frustrated, sat there unhappy, curled his lips, lying on the table, playing mobile games and waiting for his father's call.

Pu Songqiu came out of the dormitory with his schoolbag on his back, and went directly to the library.

There are many people on campus dragging their suitcases out, from all grades.

It's a holiday, and everyone wants to return home, but he has nowhere to go.

Pu Songqiu walked to the side of the stadium, sat down on the bench under the tree, took out his mobile phone and called his mother.

After waiting for a long time, the other party answered the phone, and asked in surprise, "Why are you calling at this time?"

"Mom," Pu Songqiu said with a smile, "we're on vacation."

"Oh, it's a holiday."

"Well, during the seven-day holiday, I found a part-time job and went to the nursery class to help look after the children." Pu Songqiu said, "Every day from 100:[-] am to [-]:[-] pm, [-] yuan a day."

"Don't be too tired, it's okay to go out and have fun after the holiday."

Pu Songqiu smiled: "There's nothing I want to go."

He asked, "How have you been these two days? Is your leg hurting better?"

"It's much better, don't worry."

The mother and son, who hadn't seen each other for a long time, chatted for a while. Pu Songqiu's mother said that the child was crying, so she hung up the phone in a hurry.

Pu Songqiu sat on the bench, held the phone and sighed.

He also wants to go home, but there is no home.

He also wanted to go back and give his mother a good hug, but when they met, they didn't even have a place to stay.

Pu Songqiu felt sorry for his mother, and only hoped that he could grow up as soon as possible so that her life would be better.

After making the phone call, Pu Songqiu sat on the bench for about ten minutes, then got up and went to the library.

Seeing that it was going to be a holiday, the library was empty.

He found a seat, put down his schoolbag, and went to the reading room to borrow books.

He saw a book a few days ago, and he really wanted to borrow it to read it, but there were people around, so he really didn't have the courage to pick it up. He could borrow it to read it while there were few people on vacation.

Pu Songqiu realized that he still had no way to ignore other people's opinions, and he was not as chic as he imagined.

He went in, went straight to the bookshelf, and found the book that he had been thinking about for several days.

The title of the book is "Their World", and next to the five big characters is a subtitle - A Perspective on the Gay Community in China.

He didn't know anything about this group at all, and he even realized that he might be gay because of what Jiao Wangyu said back then.

He has many questions, including questions about himself and about Jiao Wangyu's emotions.

He couldn't find anyone to consult with these questions, so he could only pin his hopes on books.

Pu Songqiu wasn't sure if he could find the answers in the books, or even whether he would become clearer or more confused after reading these books, but at least, he should find out.

Apart from him, there was only one librarian and three students who were immersed in the books in the whole reading room. After borrowing the books with red ears, he deliberately blocked the titles of the books and walked back to the seat he occupied.

In the corner by the window, no one can see him.

He put his schoolbag in front of him, blocking the eyes of others, and opened the book.

Pu Songqiu was a little nervous, as if he was on a pilgrimage when turning the pages of the book.

He didn't know what he was making a pilgrimage to, but he felt that the mood was too solemn.

It should be solemn, it is related to the cognition of oneself.

It seems absurd to say that no one knows himself.

But he is just confused, and many times he doesn't know who he is.

Sitting there, Pu Songqiu was fascinated. He seemed to have stepped into a new world, and his eyes fell on the world of a group of strangers.

The phone vibrated, it was a message from Jiao Wangyu, telling him to leave first.

Jiao Wangyu said: My dad bought a roast duck, and I put it on your table. I'll go first, see you after the festival.

Pu Songqiu caressed the pages of the book with his fingers, his eyes fixed on the message.

"So coincidentally?"

Suddenly someone spoke, Pu Songqiu looked up and found that Ying Zong was sitting opposite him.

Ying Zong is still very good-looking, the kind of feminine beauty that can turn into a beautiful girl by wearing a wig.

He sat opposite Pu Songqiu, dragged his chin with his hand and looked at the person in front of him with a smile: "Aren't you going home after the holiday?"

Pu Songqiu looked at him coldly, and at the same time stuffed the book into his schoolbag.

"Don't hide it." Ying Zong said, "I have read that book too."

Pu Songqiu frowned.

"I've said it all, you can ask me anything." Ying Zong smiled meaningfully, "I can teach you anything."

"No need." Pu Songqiu got up to leave, but was stopped by Ying Zong.

"Shall we find time to chat these few days?" Ying Zong said, "I'm just curious why you must reject me."

"I don't like it." Pu Songqiu looked at him with some annoyance, "I hate it."

Hearing that he hated it, Ying Zong smiled instead of anger: "But, don't you want to find the same kind?"

He lowered his voice, stood on tiptoe, and leaned close to Pu Songqiu's ear: "You really don't want to find the same kind?"

作者有话要说：感谢在2020-07-0207:41:43~2020-07-0305:00:10期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who threw mines: Weiguang, Xiang Bei, He Qinghaiyan;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 16 bottles of Can't board; 10 bottles of Heqing Haiyan; 1 bottle of Suei;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!