[Comprehensive Writer] Lonely Hell

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———————What reason taught me is the paleness of reason after all

"Shut up, you love maniac! You think I want a partner like you! My handbook never records that my partner is a troublemaker, a suicide maniac!"

"Sorry, I can swim next."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke replied seriously: "And drowning will be more painful than hanging."

"Also, the image of the hanged being too ugly will annoy others."

"Then how about leaping down from upstairs?" Osamu Dazai waved his hands excitedly, "Like a bird, he got the momentary and eternal only."

Akutagawa denied it without hesitation: "It's even uglier. Compared to being run over by a car, it's equally ugly."

"That...ah, it hurts!" Dazai Osamu, who was excitedly planning to continue to mention another way of death, was punched on the head by Kunikida Doppo without hesitation, and his head hit the hard table directly.

"Why do you answer such a mess of suicide questions!" Kunikida Doppo was annoyed, as if he had forgotten the deep impression Akutagawa had brought to him, he turned his head and shouted.

"Sorry?" Akutagawa Ryunosuke blinked blankly, and nodded seriously, "Actually, I don't intend to commit suicide with another person."

"That's really a pity~ Originally, if I could invite a literary rookie writer to die in love, it would be a commendable way of death for me~ Akutagawa-kun~"

"Although the charm of death is like moths attracted by fire, they cannot escape in concentric circles, but one is more free than two."

Ryunosuke Akutagawa tilted his head, his pupils reflected the sunlight and burned golden yellow like a little fire, and his thin, colorless lips were pursed lightly.The blond man with the low ponytail looked almost dizzy, and the notebook in his hand was crumpled from too much force.

Accidentally saw the two big words "ideal" printed on the handbook, the young man who planned to leave quickly raised his eyebrows, stopped in mid-air and then retracted.He stared at Kunikida Doppo thoughtfully, and the other party felt his sight, and the hand that had been holding Dazai Osamu's collar loosened, and he held the ledger defensively.

Osamu Dazai was still lying on the table, looking sideways at the two of them.

"Idealist?"

Akutagawa Ryunosuke said to himself, Kunikida Doppo was a little surprised, but soon he found that the other party didn't need his answer, but continued to answer it as if he was talking to himself.

"People don't want to get what they have, pure idealists don't pursue ideals, and pure messianists don't need redemption.

His voice gradually became lower, as if it would dissipate into the air if he didn't pay attention.

"A pure suicideist...doesn't die for love..."

The young man glanced vaguely at the man in the sand-colored windbreaker lying on the table and looking at him sideways, then turned around and left silently like gray smoke.

The trams jingled and came, and the colorful neon lights hit the young man's body, showing a radiant hue.The partial youth stood quietly on the side of the street, his own unique temperament was not covered by those brilliance, but even more gloomy.

People boarded the tram in twos and threes, young people also mixed in.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't have a clear destination, he just moved with the crowd unconsciously, and when he came back to his senses, he found that he was already in the tram car.

If you come, you will be safe, this is a sentence that he despises extremely, but it is vividly reflected at this moment.Akutagawa walked to the chair by the window and sat down, tilting his head and looking at the noisy crowd in the tram.

There is no such thing as a novel that is divorced from reality, and a novel that blindly follows reality is no different from boring news.Akutagawa Ryunosuke thought that so far, like most of his predecessors, he has been trying to find a balance between reality and illusion that will not collapse.

What is the word for it?The mean... yes, the mean...goodsense, no matter who you are, you have to rely on goodsense to live in this secular world.Views like black and white had been wisely discarded before he was a teenager.Akutagawa stared straight at the continuous line of brown and yellow outside the window, as well as the soft white clouds on the edge of the sky covered with a layer of golden yarn by the sun's rays.

He came up with an idea, just take the tram all the way to a distant place where no one knows him, traveling alone.This thought without warning was like a seed that took root in his heart, and the soft branches gradually climbed up the inner wall, devouring his flesh and blood as nourishment, and gradually flourished into a towering tree.Throw everything far away, whether it's about this Akutagawa Ryunosuke or that Akutagawa Ryunosuke, throw everything you care about and don't care about, everything real or imaginary, all along the tram to the far rear.

The tram stops, slides, stops, slides... These two processes are repeated infinitely. The teenager holding the pull ring laughs loudly with his friends, the girl holding the milk tea bites the straw, and the professional woman with light makeup steps on the high heels steadily. Stepping off the tram steadily, an old man in a hat sat in a corner and read a magazine, while a young man in black sat obliquely on a chair, twisting a fiery red leaf in his hand.

The crowd quickly dispersed to each platform. The young man looked out of the window intently, but for some reason, the fiery red leaves in his hands turned gray and faded, like washed red velvet silk.

He wants to sit forever, he fantasizes that this tram is a journey out of the earth to the eternally shining constellation of Hercules, jumping from the orbit, escaping from this cold world, even if the destination is not the universe but It's hell, and it's far better than it is now.Akutagawa Ryunosuke thought this way, in his empty field of vision, the number of people gradually decreased, and the empty carriage echoed with the monotonous and regular sound of the collision of wheels and tracks.

The tram stopped, but the young man was still sitting on the chair, pinching the red leaf that came in from the window without paying attention.After several minutes, the old man who was reading the magazine next to him closed the magazine and looked over.

"Boy, it's the terminal."

"Ah? Ah! I'm very sorry!" Akutagawa suddenly came back to his senses, and he slowly turned his gaze to the old man. The man was wearing a brown coat, buttoned up meticulously, and his neck was covered by a light gray sweater. The collar is wrapped, wearing a round hat, one eye is blocked by bangs, no matter from which aspect, it is full of the aristocratic style of the old London gentleman of the last century.

"This is..." After getting off the bus, Akutagawa looked at the station sign in a daze, and the old man who reminded him to get off also came down with the magazine in his pocket.

"Young man, you won't sit past the stand."

"No..." Akutagawa was silent for a few seconds, lowered his eyes, "It's just that I'm not familiar with this place." He glanced at the magazine that the old gentleman was holding, and the familiar cover instantly caught his attention.

"This is... "The Spring and Autumn Period of Literature"?!"

Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked up in surprise, the other party obviously heard his words, and smiled, "What? Do you young people also read this kind of literary magazine?"

"Recently the article written by the cutting-edge writer Akutagawa Ryunosuke is serialized here." The old man turned a page, "Although it is a short story, the style of writing is stern and concise, and it analyzes human nature and social reality. There must be a place for this person."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke pursed his lips, and the slight fluctuation in his eyes disappeared.

The author has something to say:

感谢在2020-02-0818:50:19~2020-02-1216:51:57期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：乜瞑100瓶；宸尘20瓶；颜一18瓶；米兰达10瓶；傅浪7瓶；柠檬叶nx5瓶；笑步橙4瓶；是时候了……、潇湘、nisphy1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!

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