Fork in the road

"Ah, Xianyu, borrow the physics paper that was handed out last Friday. I can't understand a few questions."

Yu Xian shook his head, "I haven't finished it yet, I plan to study and write later."

Bai Xiaoyuan opened his eyes wide, very surprised: "You didn't finish your homework - did something happen these two days?"

Yu Xian took out more than half of the empty papers, and replied: "The article I like has just finished. It's a long story."

Bai Xiaoyuan came to a sudden: "No wonder you have dark circles under your eyes, and you stay up late reading novels even in your third year of high school. You can do it with salted fish."

Yu Xian didn't speak any more, turned his pen and started to do the questions, Bai Xiaoyuan also sat quietly on his seat and flipped through his wrong question book, without speaking again.

After Yu Xian finished this set of questions, he realized that he hadn't thought about anything else in his mind just now, and just finished the paper in one breath.Rather than saying that the atmosphere in the classroom is suitable for studying, it is better to say that I can concentrate on doing things better by Bai Xiaoyuan's side.

He tilted his head and glanced at Bai Xiaoyuan, who rested his chin on one hand and turned the pages of the book with the other, with a focused expression on his face.

Yu Xian suddenly felt that the side profile of the other party was very beautiful.It was sudden, but in fact, Bai Xiaoyuan's side profile must have always been very good-looking, but he didn't express emotion in his heart before.

Bai Xiaoyuan is originally a popular and lovable personality, and he cares so much about himself who has almost no friends, which can be regarded as meticulous. How could he be honest and only regard the other party as a friend before, without crossing the line at all? idea?

Now that Yu Xian has finished the paper, he can discuss with Bai Xiaoyuan the questions that he said he couldn't do before.There must be no time in class, so the two of them got together during the break time between the two evening self-study sessions, and discussed Yu Xian's physics paper.

Although Bai Xiaoyuan said he couldn't do it, he actually had some ideas, and he got stuck halfway through thinking about it, so he wanted to hear what Yu Xian was thinking when he was doing the questions.

Just as Yu Xian was about to make a start, a classmate came over and called Bai Xiaoyuan: "Xiao Bai, someone is looking for you outside."

Bai Xiaoyuan looked up, and said to Yu Xian, "Wait for me, Xianyu, I'll be right back." After speaking, he took out one of his notebooks, and went out with it.

Yu Xian looked out through the classroom window, and it turned out that it was Xie Zichen who came to look for Bai Xiaoyuan.

He saw Bai Xiaoyuan smiled and said a few words to Xie Zichen, then handed the notebook in his hand to the other party, opened to a certain page and said something.

In the past, Yu Xian would say "Bai Xiaoyuan's ability to make friends is really good" at the most about this scene, but now Yu Xian feels as if he has been left out in the cold, and he is actually a little uncomfortable in his heart.

Yu Xian analyzed the changes in his mentality in this emotion, and felt that his friendship had indeed changed into another kind of relationship. He couldn't help but treat Bai Xiaoyuan as a good friend, and he didn't want the other party to only treat him as a friend among many friends. one of them.

He didn't want to be a fraction of Bai Xiaoyuan, or even a tenth of it, he wanted to be unique to Bai Xiaoyuan.He wants to have an irreplaceable position in the heart of the other party.

Thinking of this, Yu Xian couldn't help feeling a little puzzled.

It shouldn't be that he is narcissistic, but in Bai Xiaoyuan's heart there is nothing to replace, has he already achieved it?In Bai Xiaoyuan's eyes, he shouldn't be just the one among the many friends who has nothing special, and even if he doesn't contact him, he will only have a little regret, right?

... so what's the difference?

Bai Xiaoyuan walked in from outside the classroom, and when he met Yu Xian's eyes, he gave him a bright smile without hesitation.

Yu Xian looked at the other party's smiling face, and thought of the kiss he impulsively landed on the other party's forehead during the holiday.After that time, Yu Xian always couldn't help but want to get closer to the other party, couldn't help but want to get closer, and even closer, but he was afraid of being noticed by the other party, so he could only comfort himself. Now he has to think about the long-term. Big conspiracy.

When he was thinking about the future, he had completely forgotten that at the beginning he felt that this relationship was untenable at all, and that it would disappear in a short time.

Bai Xiaoyuan returned to his seat and said, "Come on, let's continue talking!"

Looking at Bai Xiaoyuan's bright eyes, Yu Xian finally knew what was wrong.

Yu Xian is looking forward to the day when Bai Xiaoyuan can't help but want to get close to him, want to touch him, and even... want to kiss him.

It doesn't matter if you can't wait, you can try to guide Bai Xiaoyuan.Thinking of this, Yu Xian actually felt a little happy.

A smile appeared on the corner of Yu Xian's mouth, and he asked casually, "What's the matter with Xie Zichen just now?"

"Ah?" Bai Xiaoyuan didn't understand at first, after all, he thought that Yu Xian was about to start talking, because Yu Xian never seemed to ask about his other friends before.Bai Xiaoyuan scratched his hair and replied, "He asked me to borrow his chemistry notes to make copies."

Yu Xian nodded, "That's it." Only then did he talk about his thinking on solving the problem.

Saying goodbye to Bai Xiaoyuan at the door of the house, when Yu Xian went upstairs, he felt as if something heavy was pressing in the air bit by bit.The farther he was from Bai Xiaoyuan, the slower his pace became.

In school before, when he was sitting next to Bai Xiaoyuan, he only had to look at the desk where the other party had stacked a thick stack of books, the drawer where he put a lot of small snacks, and Bai Xiaoyuan's slightly pursed lips when he was doing the questions. By constantly turning the pen between my lips and my hand, I can stop myself from thinking about what happened at home, and I can temporarily forget the conversation with Hu Yue before going to school.

But now, after the two separated, Bai Xiaoyuan seemed to have taken away the freshness of Yu Xian.

Yu Xian stood at the door of his house, took out the key and gently opened the door.

After entering the door, Yu Xian didn't turn on the light in the living room, intending to change his shoes in the dark before entering the bedroom.At this time, the door of the master bedroom opened, Yu Ning walked out with a tired face, saw Yu Xian squatting at the door, and asked, "Why didn't you turn on the light?"

The light from the bedroom sprinkled on the floor in front of Yu Xian, he stepped back without a trace, and replied, "I'm going back to the room right away, there's no need to drive."

Yu Ning asked again: "Are you hungry, do you want me to make you a bowl of noodles?"

"No need." Yu Xian changed his shoes, walked back to his bedroom with his head down, hesitated for a while, and closed the door in front of Yuning.

After closing the door, Yu Xian touched the light switch and turned on the light in the room.After the light was turned on, Yu Xian didn't take back his hand, he kept pressing the switch for a while, and when he heard the sound of the door closing outside, he quickly withdrew his hand and sat on the bed as if he had just reacted.

He took advantage of Yu Ning to enter the house, went out to take a shower, and then quickly returned to his bedroom.

Yu Xian didn't plan to study tonight, so he turned off the light and lay down on the bed with the word "big". Thinking of Yu Ning next door, he felt complicated.It's true that he is his father, but now Yu Xian doesn't want to see him, talk to him, or... accept that he made a mistake.Because Yu Ning's mistakes cannot be forgiven in Yu Xian's heart.

Why would this person who I have always respected and loved cheat on me?And why even if they were discovered, they still refused to repent?How did he fall in love with his lover outside while talking about reforming himself?

Needless to say, Yu Xian was closer to his father in the past.One of his parents has a bad face and the other a bad face, it's clear at a glance who the child will like more.The person who would take himself to the playground, the person who would teach him how to play basketball, the person who would buy himself a big cake on his birthday and be blamed by Hu Yue... This good father, where is he now?

Before, Yu Xian's attitude towards his father was only very complicated, but now, when he thinks of him, Yu Xian can't help feeling disgusted in his heart.

On the one hand, Yu Xian felt that his emotions were right, that his father was sorry for himself and his mother, and if he didn't feel this disgusting emotion, it would be as if he didn't feel that his father was at fault, but he felt a little sorry for his mother; but he also felt sad, Bits and pieces of the past reappeared in his mind one by one, but the feeling aroused by those warm pictures was not nostalgia, but pain. He even wondered, did he experience those pasts himself?Did the father who was respected and loved by him really exist?

When thinking of his father, there was only loathing, and Yu Xian felt it was ridiculous and pitiful.He lay on the bed, turned over, and stared blankly at the cell phone next to his pillow, as if he could gain some power by doing so.

Maybe after many years, I will see it lightly, but the thorns that go in will not be killed, but will grow in.

Yu Xian recalled what happened in the morning, and Hu Yue told Yu Xian the decision the two of them had made.

After Yu Xian's winter vacation, the two officially went through the divorce procedures.

Regarding the property distribution, Hu Yue did not tell Yu Xian, but Hu Yue clearly told Yu Xian about the custody right - Hu Yue will be able to raise him.After saying this, Hu Yue asked Yu Xian for his opinion. After all, although the two of them made a decision first, Yu Xian was no longer a child, so he still wanted to listen to his own thoughts.

Yu Xian nodded silently.

He was even thinking in his heart, why did he follow Yu Ning, so as not to disturb him and his lover.After a while, he realized that his thought was really mean.

However, Yuning agreed to give up her custody so simply, is it just in response to her own thoughts?His time outside is not short, does he already have a child?After the divorce, will he soon have a new home, harmonious and beautiful?

Yu Xian felt that every thought of his was tinged with malice, but he couldn't control himself from thinking about it. There were already countless terrifying suspicions fermenting in his heart.Yu Xian felt that his brain seemed to be divided evenly, one half was rolling with vicious and secret suspicions, while the other half was looking at himself like this, and felt that his thoughts were like a villain, which was disgusting.

When he got home tonight, Yu Xian almost blurted out those cruel words, but he held back in the end.

If these words can still hurt Yu Ning, even if Yu Ning has done something wrong to their mother and son, Yu Xian is still unwilling to say it, if these words can no longer hurt the other party, Yu Xian feels that there is no need to say it.

...Maybe the latter is more likely?Yu Xian's nose suddenly turned acidic, he closed his eyes, clenched his teeth, and finally stopped crying.

There are countless thoughts in my heart, I can't talk to my parents, I don't want to talk to my parents.

They only separated a few hours ago, but Yu Xian suddenly missed Bai Xiaoyuan very much.

Thinking of this name, Yu Xian's bewildered mood suddenly stabilized a lot.

Even if his future life is turned upside down, Bai Xiaoyuan will always be there.

His parents divorced when Bai Xiaoyuan was young, how did he get here?Although Bai Xiaoyuan didn't experience the process of his parents quarreling, he didn't experience much love from his parents either.Compared with Yuan'er, my current situation may be considered happy.

Yu Xian didn't think there was any reason for his comparison. After all, according to this, could it be said that he was very lucky as long as he found someone less fortunate than himself?But when he thought of Bai Xiaoyuan in his heart, he no longer felt that he had any reason to be depressed.

If I face the changes in my family negatively and let the gloomy emotions occupy my body, I will probably be looked down upon by Bai Xiaoyuan.

No, Bai Xiaoyuan will not look down on himself, he will only try his best to cheer himself up.

Yu Xian thought of how he forced Bai Xiaoyuan to study with him when he was in elementary school, and finally a smile appeared on his gloomy face since he got home.At that time, I just helped my childhood playmate, but now it seems that it has helped me.

Yu Xian didn't dare to say that Bai Xiaoyuan suddenly became enlightened later, and it was his own credit for studying hard, but at least Bai Xiaoyuan didn't completely abandon that little knowledge with his help, so it wasn't that difficult to catch up.If Bai Xiaoyuan had been in a slump since elementary school, I would not have reunited with him, and these things would not have happened later, and I would not have suddenly had a pillar in my heart. Already depressed.

It is my luck to know Bai Xiaoyuan.