silent age

Bai Sihuan didn't care how long the black and white pantomime-like college life had passed.It's just that one day, the originally ordinary campus life was suddenly stirred up by a person.

On Friday morning, a group of people gathered downstairs of the Liberal Arts Department. The principal, dean, secretary, counselors, teachers, everyone who could come came.

A graduate student from the School of Economics and Management stood on the fence on the roof of the liberal arts building, stretched out his hands, and while walking dangerously on the railing, he took off his clothes one by one and threw them off the roof.

The teacher went upstairs to persuade, and the principal ordered the secretary beside him to do things.

The secretary asked the counselor to contact his parents, and then called the firefighters: "Hey, yes, it's Jiangcheng University... Yes, someone is going to jump off the building... Hey, yes, it's the same place, the seventh floor, the same place people."

I heard from the students in the crowd that this person is still a veteran of suicide, and this is not the first time he has gone to the liberal arts building.

"Xu Mu! It's him again!"

"How many times has it been? Didn't you say he was mentally ill? He hasn't been expelled from school yet?"

"I feel sorry for my firefighter uncle, and I have to come to school again."

"He just lacks love. He always wants to attract everyone's attention. Hey, I don't believe he really dared to commit suicide."

Bai Sihuan looked up at the boy standing on the upper floor of the Liberal Arts Department, looking up at his smiling face that was both dissolute and somewhat helpless.The moment he saw his eyes, Bai Sihuan thought, this person named Xu Mu is not trying to attract everyone's attention.

This man, like him, the whole world is falling upside down, and every day is floating in the abyss of despair.It's just that this person dared to stand there, but he didn't dare.

The firefighters came and put air cushions on the downstairs of the liberal arts.Xu Mu also took off his jeans and threw them down. Wearing only a pair of shorts, he swayed down the railing as if nothing had happened.

The firefighters had been working in vain. Listening to their tone when they finished work, they seemed to be used to it.

After Xu Mu went downstairs, a large group of teachers surrounded him to "enlighten" him, and some teachers couldn't help losing their temper.

The shirtless student Xu Mu yelled, "If you're unhappy, fire me! Let me drop out of school! I forced you to keep me?"

The secretary came up and scolded the teacher who lost his temper, and comforted Xu Mu with a smile on his face: "Xu Mu, don't do this again, you know your cousin..."

"Get lost!" Xu Mu pushed the secretary away fiercely, and then swaggered through the crowd in his shorts.

This splash didn't have much impact on Bai Sihuan, and Bai Sihuan at this time didn't know how much "trouble" Xu Mu would bring him.

The days go back to the past, reading, doing homework, reminiscing, reading, doing homework, reminiscing.Lin Heng said that he is a very boring person, he doesn't understand other things except reading, and he doesn't know how to live at all.

Thinking of what Lin Heng said about him, so I started thinking about Lin Heng, thinking of the first kiss, thinking of Deer Park, thinking of the most painful lingering Lin Heng gave him that day.

There are too many memories about Lin Heng, no matter how you erase them, you can't erase them.What a humble and insignificant person he was before, it was Lin Heng who gave him everything and took everything away from him.

Bai Sihuan felt a tearing pain in his heart, which made his brain suffocate as if his blood had been evacuated. By the time he realized it, there were already a few scratches on his wrist, bright red. Blood is pouring out.

Only then did the sensation of pain appear dull.

This is his previous problem. Whenever he feels uncomfortable, he will scratch his hand with the things in his hand, whether it is paper, ruler, or knife, no matter what he is holding, he will scratch his other wrist. , Coincidentally, this time I was holding a pencil sharpener.

He thought he had got rid of this problem, but he didn't expect that once he felt uncomfortable, he would still have a relapse.It seems that he didn't get rid of this problem, but before he left, he hadn't felt so uncomfortable for a long time.

"Hey, borrow your phone..." Tian Zhicheng, who appeared behind him at some point, suddenly yelled, "Are you fucking sick? What are you doing? You're playing self-mutilation! Why don't you kill us all someday? Kill it! Damn it! Go see it when you are sick, who are you going to scare by doing this in the dormitory!"

Bai Sihuan seemed to have discovered some ulterior secret, so he came back to his senses and said in a panic: "No! I was just not careful..."

"Careless? You call it careless?!" Tian Zhicheng grabbed Bai Sihuan's bleeding hand unceremoniously, and showed it to everyone in the dormitory, "Let's take a look! This psychopath is playing self-mutilation, a non-mainstream remnant! I found out that I must say I was not careful!"

The head of the dormitory saw it, and immediately stood up: "What's the matter? Sihuan, why are you bleeding so much? Brothers, hurry up and send someone to the school hospital! Tian Zhicheng, are you sick? How can you still lose so much blood? joke?"

Bai Sihuan was escorted away by the people in the dormitory, and Tian Zhicheng, whose palm was covered with blood, was still sarcastically saying: "Are you kidding me? I'm kidding! He's sick because I'm sick, he's crazy! You give him back Send it to the infirmary? Let me tell you, this kind of person will go crazy one day and kill you and me! You are fucking wolves here!"

The head of the dormitory and several roommates were busy helping Bai Sihuan stop the bleeding and helping Bai Sihuan go to the infirmary, so they didn't have time to pay attention to Tian Zhicheng's yelling, they just glared at him and cursed before leaving: "I'm sick."

Tian Zhicheng was not idle, and quickly brought the matter to the counselor. He said that he wanted to change the dormitory, and he didn't want to live with non-mainstream remnants who played self-harm.

That night, the counselor called Bai Sihuan over to have a good conversation, and finally arranged for him the school's psychological counseling.

Bai Sihuan became busy, every day besides the piles of homework, he had to find time to go to the psychological counseling room far away in the North District to chat with the psychological teacher.

In the dormitory, he changed from the quietest person to the weirdest person.

Everyone in the dormitory except Tian Zhicheng didn't make a sound for the sake of the head of the dormitory, but their attitude towards Bai Sihuan also became strange.

On the surface, the head of the dormitory treated Bai Sihuan well, comforting him, and smiling. In fact, he also had a grudge in his heart, but he couldn't be too indifferent to him.

The teacher in the psychological counseling room gave Bai Sihuan several free consultations, and then strongly urged Bai Sihuan to be hospitalized.

"Don't waste this money. As the saying goes, things that can be solved with money are small things. You have this... this symptom. You have to be hospitalized for two weeks. After a good treatment and some medicine, you can still recover. Don't miss the best opportunity to recover. That's right, our hospital has a policy that offers certain discounts for college students. I can arrange for you to live in... The discounted price will be deducted from the money. need……"

Bai Sihuan was already dizzy after hearing the few strings of numbers read by the psychology teacher, and finally he had to say embarrassedly: "Sorry, teacher, I don't want to be hospitalized yet, take medicine... I don't really think about it. I don't think it's necessary."

The psychology teacher froze for a moment, pushed his glasses, and clicked his tongue.The confidentiality agreement signed before the chat was ignored, and he immediately went to the balcony and called Bai Sihuan's counselor: "You student... oh yes, it is Bai Sihuan of your age. To be honest, it’s not as serious as usual. At least severe depression, serious suicidal tendencies and suicidal behaviors have already appeared...I said it! He refuses to treat him! Hey, you should try to persuade him.”

The counselor called Bai Sihuan to the office again and ordered him to go to a regular hospital for a detailed professional examination.

Bai Sihuan frowned, but still insisted, "I don't think it's necessary, I have no problem."

The counselor lost his temper, straightened his face, and said unceremoniously: "The school has a rule that students who have depression and do not receive treatment must drop out of school." As he spoke, he began to murmur, "You don't want to It doesn't matter, don't hurt me, if something happens to you, what will happen to my job? Do you know how difficult it is for me to get here? Anyway, I made it clear, I have to see your report next Monday, the above Stamping the regular report printed by Jiangcheng Mental Health Center, any verbal report will not work. If you don’t do this well this week, I will report it to the secretary. It will be useless no matter how good your studies are. The school stipulates that you will not cooperate with treatment. Just drop out of school!"

The threat of expulsion hit Bai Sihuan's weakness. He already had nothing and could no longer lose his studies.

He didn't know how much it would cost to have a psychological check-up, so he took advantage of the few days of free time to get a few more part-time jobs.

On Saturday morning, he spent nearly three hours taking a bus, changing buses, and walking, and finally arrived at the gate of the hospital designated by the counselor.Bai Sihuan looked at Kali's small savings, gritted his teeth, and forcibly walked into the hospital gate.

The nurse asked, "What's the number?"

Bai Sihuan glanced at the people around him, and whispered, "Psychology."

"Which doctor?"

"I don't know, just hang one for me."

The nurse gave him an expert number, No. 14.

Bai Sihuan took the list and came to the outpatient room of the expert on the second floor, found a seat and sat down, waiting for the doctor to call his number.

There are everyone in this hospital, wandering around in a daze, yelling every once in a while, and talking tremblingly.Every patient, old or young, is accompanied by his family members, and he is the only one holding the registration form and sitting here quietly.

Time has become extremely cheap here. Everyone smells the strange smell of disinfectant in the air, waits for the doctor to call, and does nothing, letting the time go by.

At this moment, a person sat down next to him, leaned on the back of the chair, crossed his legs, and fanned the wind with a medical record.

Bai Sihuan glanced at him, was slightly surprised, and said to himself: Xu Mu!

Seeing his expression, Xu Mu pointed to himself and asked with a smile, "Do you know me?"

Bai Sihuan was stunned for a moment, then replied, "Yeah, I met him in school. Liberal Arts Building."

"Ouch..." Xu Mu showed a dumbfounding expression, "It's a shame, it's a shame, haven't you seen me wearing only underwear?" Xu Mu's voice was very loud, and here he didn't have to care about the people around him at all. What will happen if you hear it, because there are not many normal people around.

"I don't think it's just me, the whole school has seen it."

Xu Mu raised his forehead and said, "I've embarrassed them like this, and they still refuse to let me go."

"They?" Bai Sihuan frowned.

"My cousins!" Xu Mu suddenly sat up straight and approached Bai Sihuan, "My cousin is the son of the Jiang family. Do you know the Jiang family? The famous Jiang family in Tianjin!"

After staying in the Lin family for so long, how could Bai Sihuan not know about the famous Jiang family in Tianjin, which is one of the three giants of business.Before Cheng Sutang's private business, there were many places that needed the help of the Jiang family, all of which were negotiated with the help of Mr. Zhu.

Xu Mu usually looks sloppy and looks like a poor beggar, and he doesn't look like someone related to the Jiang family at all.People who don't know may think that this person is really a little mentally ill after hearing it.

"This group of people always want to control me. Damn, I've smeared them like this, and they still refuse to let me go. I don't know if I really have to die to let me go!" Xu Muwu said to himself. He started to scold, talking to himself a lot of words that Bai Sihuan couldn't understand.After a while, he waved his hand and said, "Damn it! Don't worry about it! I'll smoke a cigarette first. Do you know how to smoke?"

Bai Sihuan shook his head.

Xu Mu stuffed a cigarette into Bai Sihuan's mouth: "Russia's [-]th birthday, don't be polite. Hey! Don't take it down! If you take it down, you won't give me face! Do you know who my cousin is? How dare you not give me face ?!"

Bai Sihuan put the cigarette in his mouth and didn't dare to move.Xu Mu took out the lighter, turned it twice in his hand, lit a cigarette for himself, and then lit a cigarette for him.

The pungent smell of smoke hit his face, and Bai Sihuan coughed suddenly, tears came out of his eyes.

Xu Mu exhaled smoke rings and said to him: "At least he is a big man, why is he so humble? It's not like I'm giving you a big dry cigarette, but you can still be choked like this..."

At this time, a doctor came out and shouted loudly: "Smoking is not allowed here! What are you doing? Quickly put it out!"

Xu Mu quickly put the whole cigarette into his mouth, and looked at the doctor innocently.

Bai Sihuan was at a loss with the cigarette, his face turned red all of a sudden, he stood up and bowed his head and said "oh", and hurried to the trash can to put out the cigarette.

The doctor gave the two of them a hard look, turned around and left.After the doctor left, Xu Mu spit out the half cigarette from his mouth again, and started smoking again.

"Your mental quality is too bad, Bai Sihuan."

Bai Sihuan was surprised: "You know my name?"

Xu Mu looked at his medical records: "Next time, I need to put away the medical records. If I lose this thing, it will be troublesome."

Bai Sihuan took back the medical records and said thank you.