[Now] I want to hold your hand tightly

Xu Haoran inserted the key into the lock. He felt that the door was getting heavier and heavier recently. He could easily push the door open before, but now it is a bit difficult.

Zhou Jisheng had already returned, and from the entrance, one could just see Zhou Jisheng sitting on the sofa with his notebook on his lap as if he was writing a report.Zhou Jisheng has been very busy recently. Xu Haoran asked Zhou Jisheng Hospital if there was anything wrong. Zhou Jisheng buried his head in writing the report while saying that there was nothing wrong. He had to review the chief physician recently, so he was writing a thesis.Xu Haoran was taken aback, Zhou Jisheng didn't mention the matter of the chief physician to him, if Xu Haoran didn't ask, would Zhou Jisheng not talk about it?

Hearing the sound of pushing the door, Zhou Jisheng raised his head and glanced at Xu Haoran: "The rice is just hot, remember to eat."

"Have you eaten?" Zhou Jisheng's voice was still the same as usual, but in Xu Haoran's heart it was different, like a routine greeting, the communication between the two became more and more dull.

"En." Zhou Jisheng lowered his head and continued to type. The white light in the living room fell on Zhou Jisheng, and the originally gentle man showed a sharp aura.Xu Haoran never knew that Zhou Jisheng, who had always been gentle and refined, would have a cold side. Maybe Zhou Jisheng had shown it before, but Xu Haoran didn't notice it.

Xu Haoran stood at the entrance without moving since he entered the door. After a few minutes, Zhou Jisheng seemed to hear no footsteps. Zhou Jisheng raised his head again and saw Xu Haoran standing motionless at the entrance. Zhou Jisheng put his hands on the keyboard Take it away, close the notebook and ask Xu Haoran: "What's the matter? Do you have something to tell me?"

Only recently did Xu Haoran discover that Zhou Jisheng knew all his expressions like the back of his hand, Zhou Jisheng could understand what Xu Haoran was thinking with just one look.But looking at himself, he didn't even realize that Zhou Jisheng was so busy recently evaluating chief physicians.He has always been protected by Zhou Jisheng, but once Zhou Jisheng stopped paying all his attention to him, Xu Haoran felt that he had become a child with nothing.

"Well, yes..." Xu Haoran hesitated, he didn't know how to say it.Remind Zhou Jisheng to pay attention to Nie Mi and Professor Lin's tricks?But Nie Mi was his mentor. If Nie Mi hadn't become the dean of the Faculty of Arts, his future path would be full of thorns, but if he didn't tell Zhou Jisheng, would it also threaten Zhou Jisheng's future?

Zhou Jisheng looked sideways at Xu Haoran, and waited for Xu Haoran to continue. After waiting for a long time, Zhou Jisheng found that Xu Haoran was hesitant and did not say a word. Well, let’s talk about it, you have a bad stomach and eat quickly, don’t be hungry.”

Xu Haoran was moved, but Zhou Jisheng was still thinking about him. His eyes stayed on the notebook on the coffee table, and he remembered Zhou Jisheng's efforts to evaluate the chief physician these days. Xu Haoran opened his mouth, but found that he still couldn't do it. speak out.

Zhou Jisheng raised his eyebrows, and Xu Haoran's hesitation made him feel unhappy.He had accommodated Xu Haoran for more than ten years, and he didn't tell the secrets that Xu Haoran didn't want him to tell, but now Xu Haoran wanted to say it, but he didn't have the courage to say it.Is it so difficult to speak?

"Just say what you want to say, and go to eat after you finish speaking, okay?" Zhou Jisheng still couldn't bear to look down on Xu Haoran, and said in a gentle voice.

The long-lost emotion resurfaced in his heart, Xu Haoran took a deep breath, and the words stuck in his throat were about to be blurted out, but when he saw Zhou Jisheng opened his notebook again and looked back at the computer, Xu Haoran's heart gradually sank. Into the ravine.

Zhou Jisheng used to watch him quietly and listen to him finish his sentence, but now Zhou Jisheng doesn't have the same patience as before.In the past, Xu Haoran felt that he was Zhou Jisheng's whole world, but now Xu Haoran felt that he was just a small part of Zhou Jisheng's life.

"What's the matter, don't you want to talk?" After Zhou Jisheng had read the email, Xu Haoran hadn't spoken yet.

Xu Haoran already felt that there was no need to say any more, he shook his head and walked into the restaurant.The same three dishes and one soup as usual, but no one to accompany him to eat.

After finishing the meal, Xu Haoran walked out of the kitchen after finishing the dishes. Zhou Jisheng was still sitting on the sofa, resting his chin on one hand and propping his elbows on his knees, while staring at the computer screen intently. Shu Yang's The brows were slightly drawn together, as if thinking about something.Seeing Zhou Jisheng's concentration, Xu Haoran didn't want to disturb him, so he went to the study lightly, and heard Zhou Jisheng's voice before walking a few steps.

"You have nothing to say to me, but I have something to say to you, come sit down." Zhou Jisheng patted the sofa beside him and asked Xu Haoran to sit down.

Xu Haoran's heart skipped a beat, wondering if Zhou Jisheng wanted to have a showdown with him?He turned around slowly, seeing that Zhou Jisheng's eyes were still fixed on the computer screen, Xu Haoran was even more puzzled.Xu Haoran still sat down beside Zhou Jisheng, he glanced at Zhou Jisheng's computer screen, it was an email written in English.Although Xu Haoran is studying Chinese, domestic universities have very high requirements for English writing, no matter if you are studying for graduate school or PhD. You don’t need to mention it, but you must be able to understand English and write.Zhou Jisheng didn't mean to avoid Xu Haoran, he showed the email to Xu Haoran generously, Xu Haoran saw that it was an email from the United States, roughly meaning to invite domestic surgeons to do academic exchanges.In Jingnan City, although Boren Hospital is not as strong as a public hospital, it is a foreign-funded hospital. Its medical level and technology are comparable to those of large domestic hospitals. The general hospital of Boren Hospital is located in Washington, USA. Naturally, an invitation letter will also be sent to Boren Hospital.

"Are you going to America?" Xu Haoran asked.

Zhou Jisheng did not answer Xu Haoran's question, but asked another question: "Did something happen in Jingnan Dali recently?"

Xu Haoran's heart trembled. Could it be that Zhou Jisheng had heard some news, or that Nie Mi and Professor Lin had already started to do it?

"You mean the dean of literature?" Xu Haoran asked tentatively.

Zhou Jisheng squinted his eyes, he heard Xu Haoran's temptation, he shook his head: "Recently you go out early and come back late, sometimes you come back later than me, and your face is much more haggard than before, I wonder if What happened in the Liberal Arts Academy?"

It turned out that Zhou Jisheng was still paying attention to him, and the chill in Xu Haoran's heart dissipated because of Zhou Jisheng's words: "It's not a big deal, it's just that a dean candidate was airborne, and the teacher is a little worried."

Zhou Jisheng said thoughtfully, "He was recommended by Principal Zhang?"

"How do you know?" Xu Haoran was startled, he hadn't mentioned the Jingnan University matter to Zhou Jisheng these days, Zhou Jisheng actually knew everything.

Zhou Jisheng pursed his lips and smiled: "Even before I ran away from home, I knew that the election of the deans of the Faculty of Medicine and Faculty of Arts is not that simple, and there are tricks in it."

Xu Haoran nodded, what Zhou Jisheng said is not wrong, as long as you have a little in-depth understanding, you will know that the interpersonal relationship in Jingnan University, a century-old prestigious school, is intricately entangled. It is also unheard of to call it a proper noun that makes people laugh and cry.

"What's more..." Zhou Jisheng paused, and his voice sank a lot. His soft gaze on Xu Haoran turned cold in an instant, and Xu Haoran's heart suddenly jumped for no reason.

"What's more, you have been so close to Lin Yihan recently, it is impossible for people not to notice something."

The blood all over his body seemed to rush into a freezing cold in an instant. Xu Haoran felt that his heart was also paralyzed by this cold. He stared blankly at the other party's cold eyes. Zhou Jisheng dispelled it, because the person who covered him with the cold was Zhou Jisheng.

"Don't you want to explain?" Zhou Jisheng's voice was faint, unable to make out the tone.

"I..." Xu Haoran felt a lump in his throat, Zhou Jisheng didn't urge him, Zhou Jisheng closed the email and looked at the screen saver on the computer.

"She and I are just using each other. She and I are just pawns in this 'battle for professors'. When it's over, we won't be together." Xu Haoran tried to explain him in the simplest words. The relationship with Lin Yihan.

Zhou Jisheng twitched the corner of his mouth and showed a cold smile: "You still don't understand, I'm not talking about the relationship between you and Lin Yihan, I'm asking why you want to hide this matter."

"Conceal it?" Xu Haoran asked back, "I think it's just my job, there's no need to report everything to you in detail."

"Report to me?" Zhou Jisheng repeated these four words, and then said with a half-smile, "So you think I've been keeping an eye on you."

"Isn't it?" Xu Haoran said, "Not only are you watching me, you're still watching me."

"Xu Haoran, pay attention to your words!" Zhou Jisheng frowned tightly. Today he bumped into Xu Haoran and Lin Yihan shopping together without any objection. Although Xu Haoran occasionally mentions things in school, other than Lin Yihan was mentioned once before the Chinese New Year, but she was never mentioned to Zhou Jisheng again.Zhou Jisheng thought that Xu Haoran and Lin Yihan had nothing to do with each other, but he didn't expect that today he saw Lin Yihan kissing Xu Haoran's ear, Zhou Jisheng couldn't bear it anymore.

Xu Haoran raised the corners of his mouth and smiled self-deprecatingly: "There is nothing wrong with my words, you follow me, you control me, why do I have to tell you everything? Even husband and wife will not talk about everything What's more, we can't get married at all!" Xu Haoran almost growled and said this sentence, and he regretted it as soon as he finished speaking.He looked at Zhou Jisheng's expressionless face, and wanted to apologize, but felt that he was right.

Zhou Jisheng was silent. After a long time, he closed his notebook again and stood up from the sofa: "Hao Ran, you still don't understand what I want to say."

"Just say what you want, I don't want to play mind-reading games with you." Xu Haoran said wearily, leaning back on the sofa.

Zhou Jisheng turned his back to Xu Haoran and said: "Perhaps you will think this sentence is a joke in this era, but the reason I fell in love with you more than ten years ago is because you are not full of ambition and desire like those people. A gentleman has Don't do what you do, don't lose yourself, don't be sorry for your life and your career." Zhou Jisheng paused, and then continued, "Maybe we should calm down and separate for a while and think about the future. How to go, I will also think about whether this love is worth maintaining."