What should I do if I am disqualified in the adult room?

Sometimes Osamu Dazai wondered if it was because he had too high expectations for Satomi that he was so disappointed when he found something different from what he expected.

……

lupin bar.

It is still the dim lights and the soothing music of the British style full of sentimentality.

It's just that when Oda Sakunosuke came in from the outside, he found that the atmosphere today seemed particularly depressing.

It seemed that Ango Sakaguchi hadn't come yet, and Osamu Dazai was the only one sitting in his usual seat in front of the bar, with a glass of untouched whiskey in front of him.

Oda Sakunosuke walked over, only to find that Dazai Osamu had added a lot of bandages to his body.

However, what caught his attention was another matter.

"Dazai, why didn't you see Mr. Shi? Didn't he come with you?"

Oda Sakunosuke didn't see the familiar figure in the corner, so he couldn't help asking.

Today's Dazai Osamu is a bit abnormal. In the past, when Oda Sakunosuke just came down the stairs, he would greet Oda Sakunosuke with a playful smile.But today, until Sakunosuke Oda took the initiative to talk to him, he was still staring at the ice hockey in the glass in front of him, without any reaction.

"Dazai?"

Oda Sakunosuke sat next to Osamu Dazai, and called Osamu Dazai's name again.

This time, Osamu Dazai finally responded.

He turned his head, looked at Oda Sakunosuke who was looking at him with worried eyes, and suddenly realized: "What, it's Oda Saku, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

Oda Sakunosuke pursed his lips, asked the boss for a glass of wine, and did not continue to ask.

"I just called you several times and there was no response."

"Ah... sorry."

Osamu Dazai smiled apologetically at Sakunosuke Oda: "Just now I was too engrossed in thinking about something, I didn't hear you call me."

Oda Sakunosuke shook his head lightly, took a sip from the wine glass pushed by the boss, and then asked tentatively, "Did you quarrel with Mr. Shi?"

He was still a little concerned about Osamu Dazai's abnormality today and the rare Satomi who didn't follow.This pair of brothers is usually like conjoined twins, no matter where they go, they are always together, and now they are suddenly separated, which inevitably makes Oda Sakunosuke, who is used to seeing two people together, a little uncomfortable.

"quarrel?"

Dazai Osamu flicked the wall of the wine glass in front of him as if he heard some joke, and replied lazily: "No, he's not worth it."

"Oh, it's this kind..."

Oda Sakunosuke nodded, and took another sip from his wine glass.

He watched Dazai Osamu from the corner of his eye, and then couldn't help but sigh in his heart.

It seems that the two really had a fight...

However, this is someone else's family matter after all, so it's not easy for Oda Sakunosuke to ask too much.

So, one of the two drank, and the other lay on the table and poked the ice hockey in the glass with his fingers, without talking.

The atmosphere quickly fell into a depressing and boring situation, until the wind chime at the door was rang.Wearing round glasses, Ango Sakaguchi walked down the stairs unhurriedly with a briefcase in hand.

"Yo, Ango, you're here."

Osamu Dazai raised his hand and greeted Ango Sakaguchi with a smile on his lips.

But Oda Sakunosuke, who has been paying attention to him from the corner of his eye, found that Osamu Dazai's mood was completely opposite to the expression on his face.

He obviously looked like he was smiling, but the smile on his face never reached his eyes.

Oda Sakunosuke picked up his wine glass, took a sip of the whiskey in his hand, and thought: It seems that the conflict between him and Mr. Shi is really serious...

Sure enough, in the chat afterwards, even Ango Sakaguchi discovered this abnormality of Osamu Dazai.

However, like Oda Sakunosuke, he did not ask.

Because that's the relationship between the three of them.Keep a certain distance from each other and never get involved in it.That's why they can sit here and chat like this.

"Then I'll go back today first, let's talk later when I have time."

Around 11:30, Ango Sakaguchi bid farewell to Osamu Dazai and Sakunosuke Oda and left the bar.

"Aren't you going back?"

Seeing Ango Sakaguchi leave, Sakunosuke Oda picked up the wine glass and drank the rest of the wine in one gulp, as if he was about to leave too.

"You go back first."

Osamu Dazai shook his head lightly, propped his face with one hand, and started playing with the ice hockey in his glass again.

"I want to sit down."

Oda Sakunosuke nodded and put down his glass.But he didn't leave as Osamu Dazai thought, but asked the boss for a glass of warm milk.

The milky white liquid was poured into a transparent glass, and Oda Sakunosuke put the glass of milk in front of Osamu Dazai.

"Why, Odasaku, are you addicted to raising children?"

Osamu Dazai shifted his gaze to the cup of warm milk that Oda Sakunosuke gave him, and jokingly said: "Is this to show your excess fatherly love on me? Let me tell you first, I am not a child, and I don't drink milk. thing."

Oda Sakunosuke ignored Dazai Osamu's joking words, but sighed, and said, "Dazai...it is normal for brothers to have conflicts, but quarreling will never solve the problem."

"You and Mr. Shi have such a good relationship. I think if you have something to do, you might as well sit down and talk to him calmly. I think he will understand you."

Osamu Dazai straightened up and stopped poking the ice puck in the wine glass.

He looked down at the milk ordered by Oda Sakunosuke in front of him, and asked in a low voice: "Why do you think I will have conflicts with him, Oda Saku."

"I think I told you before Ango came...he's not worth it."

"But you are in a bad mood."

Oda Sakunosuke answered Dazai Osamu's question concisely.

"Even if you say it's not worth it, you're still in a bad mood because of Mr. Shi, Dazai."

Osamu Dazai raised his eyelids, silently looked at the glass of milk that Sakunosuke Oda ordered for him, and did not speak.

Oda Sakunosuke sighed inwardly, and stopped talking.

The two sat in front of the bar in silence, and the soothing British music played became the only sound in the bar.

Just when Oda Sakunosuke thought that Osamu Dazai would not speak, Osamu Dazai took a deep breath and said, "I thought that after three years, he will always improve a little..."

Oda Sakunosuke was stunned for a moment, but did not answer Dazai Osamu's words.He knew that the "he" that Osamu Dazai said was missing in his fingers.

Osamu Dazai picked up the glass of milk that Oda Sakunosuke ordered for him, and drank it down in one gulp.

"But I found out that I was wrong."

Osamu Dazai put down the empty glass, raised his head slightly, and looked at the chandelier above his head.

Under the dim light, in the kite-colored eyes that were not covered by the bandages, there was a complex emotion that Oda Sakunosuke couldn't describe.

Disappointed?

Do not……

It was something deeper than disappointment.

Oda Sakunosuke still didn't answer Dazai Osamu's words.

He didn't know what happened between Dazai Osamu and Satomi Sato, so he couldn't comment, and he was qualified to comment.But it is a good thing that Osamu Dazai is willing to say now, even if it is only two unclear words.

He wants to be a listener.

"I thought I could find what I wanted through him...Unfortunately, I was arrogant."

Osamu Dazai withdrew his gaze, picked up the glass of whiskey that he had never touched until now, and suddenly said, "Can you add some detergent, boss!"

Hearing Osamu Dazai's words, the bar owner, who was used to Osamu Dazai wanting to add some strange things to the drink from time to time, did not change his expression, and rejected Osamu Dazai's request very simply.

"I'm sorry, Dazai-san."

"All right……"

Osamu Dazai put down his wine glass in disappointment, and lay down on the table again.

Oda Sakunosuke next to him turned his head to look at Osamu Dazai, who was lying on the table and playing ice hockey in his glass again, and suddenly asked, "Are you disappointed, Dazai?"

Before Osamu Dazai brought Uomi to this bar, Oda Sakunosuke always thought that Osamu Dazai was just a child with too shrewd mind.Because they are too smart, the world they see is farther and farther than what they see.The reason why he and Ango Sakaguchi were able to stay beside Osamu Dazai was precisely because they understood the loneliness that surrounded Osamu Dazai.

But they can't get involved in it, because they each have their own world and their own lives.Being able to stand by is already the maximum limit they can do.

Oda Sakunosuke thought that no one could enter Dazai Osamu's world.Until later, on a very ordinary night, Osamu Dazai brought the young man who had the same appearance as him to the bar.

When Osamu Dazai called the young man's name affectionately and asked him to help him snatch the wine glass that he took away, Oda Sakunosuke suddenly discovered that the world of Osamu Dazai was not empty.Some people have already stepped into the world that they cannot set foot in.

"Do you think I should be disappointed?"

Osamu Dazai straightened up, turned his head to meet Oda Sakunosuke's gaze.

Should he be disappointed?

He gave Satomi the identity of a lost person, gave him absolute freedom, and even arranged for him his most important friend and future...

He paved everything for Satomi, but how did Li Jiansu respond to him in the end?

He confuses him with false appearances, and slaps the self-righteous him just when he thought he was finally close to what he was looking for.

Osamu Dazai felt that he should indeed be disappointed.

Because from the very beginning, he shouldn't place his expectations on a tool.

"Do you think I should be disappointed, Odasaku?"

Osamu Dazai couldn't help asking the question again.It seems to be hope that Oda Sakunosuke can give him this answer.

And Oda Sakunosuke did not live up to his expectations and gave him this answer.

"I don't know if you should be disappointed, because I'm not qualified to judge. But Dazai—"

Saying this, Oda Sakunosuke stopped and sighed.

"Have you ever thought that maybe Mr. Shi cares more about you than the change you expected?"

Oda Sakunosuke looked into Dazai Osamu's eyes and expressed his thoughts.

"His concern for you can't be faked, and I, a bystander, can see it. I think maybe 'you' is more important to him than 'what you expect'."

Hearing this, Osamu Dazai twitched the corner of his mouth, firmly denying Oda Sakunosuke's words.

"impossible."

He lowered his eyes and exhaled a foul breath, as if he was speaking to Oda Sakunosuke, but also as if he was speaking to himself.

"Impossible, Odasaku."

"No one can endure the darkness after seeing the light."