you don't like other people

The sun bakes the earth mercilessly, and the earth has no power to resist, letting the sun fiddle with it.Even the air was sultry, and it penetrated hard into every cell of Xu Zhou.

Xu Zhou was holding a bag in one hand, and kept fanning his face with both hands.However, it was useless at all, and the whole body was still sticky. This feeling was like walking in a trash can. Xu Zhou lowered his head and quickened his pace, cursing: "This damn weather."

Xu Zhou didn't know why he applied for the examination here in a fever, it was completely a fever.In the college entrance examination last year, Xu Zhou overestimated his grades, and Chongqing was completely voluntary, but he was admitted by the sixth voluntary.

Xu Zhou is a native of Chongqing, but he always feels that the college entrance examination is to let everyone escape from his own city, and he also needs to escape from that dilapidated home.

When I applied for volunteers, I focused on going to the north. The five volunteers were all in the north, but after the notice came out, I still stayed in the south and stayed in Chongqing.

Although it is Chongqing, Xu Zhou's home is farther than other provinces, so that he himself is ashamed to say that he is from Chongqing. On weekends, a few classmates from Sichuan can go home and sit down for a while. But all my time was spent on the train, and then I didn't go back at all. This is how a boy pretends to be strong.

In the end, all Xu Zhou can do is to settle down as it comes.After all, Xu Zhou was absolutely unwilling to let Xu Zhou go to roll in his senior year.Those dark days in the third year of high school are still vivid in his mind, Xu Zhou desperately does not want to recall them.

Xu Zhou is a liberal arts student, but he happened to be studying in a teacher training college. There are very few boys in the school.There are only three boys in my own class, and I can't even make up a dormitory.

It is strange to say that the three of them are not in the same dormitory, so Xu Zhou somehow got together with a sophomore senior in the same dormitory, and usually there is not much intersection. After all, the time of the two of them is always divergent. The senior of the junior year.

Xu Zhou majored in journalism, and his major was reported when he had a feverish mind during the college entrance examination, and it wasn't all hotheaded.Xu Zhou knew that he was because of Chai Jing, because of a report by Chai Jing in 2005.

At that time, Chai Jing was not a well-known reporter, but a report she made caught Xu Zhou's attention. It was a report about homosexuality.A 2005 short film called "In the Name of Life".This was the first time in 2005 that a homosexual topic appeared on the screen of CCTV. They faced the camera squarely and demanded equality. "Why don't you use protective image processing?" Chai Jing asked the homosexuals.The gay man replied: "Because I want to tell everyone that I am gay, I want to live happily with everyone, and I want to find true love."

The short clip said: “Gay people have been living in the gray area of ​​society for many years. Due to their relatively hidden lifestyle, their world is unknown to most people. In fact, as a social phenomenon, homosexuality has existed for several years. For thousands of years, there are also records of broken sleeves in ancient Chinese books. A large number of talented artists and philosophers in history are homosexuals, such as Socrates, Plato, Michelangelo... There are countless outstanding homosexual celebrities. However, Because it is inconsistent with traditional social customs, until today, the gay community is still an extremely marginalized group, often regarded as heterogeneous and not accepted by mainstream society."

Xu Zhou didn't know how many people suffered in exchange for these short 10 minutes.But he clearly knew that he himself was one of the marginalized.

Therefore, when he watched that short film, he was not just watching a story, but watching the society's criticism and abandonment of them.

That's right, Xu Zhou is gay.This is something he doesn't want to admit, but at the same time he wants to tell the world.

Xu Zhou remembered that Chai Jing published a book called "Seeing" many years later.

Xu Zhou still remembers some parts of "Seeing".

I asked Zhang Beichuan: "Why doesn't our society accept homosexuals?"

He said: "Because in our sexual culture, procreation is regarded as the purpose, ignorance as purity, ignorance as virtue, and prejudice as principle. Love should be the attitude of one soul to another, not the attitude of one organ to another." An organ response."

It is undoubted that this society has not yet accepted homosexuality, but there is also an undoubted existence of a huge homosexual community in China. Xu Zhou happened to be one of them, and he just happened to be in this society.

Xu Zhou was also particularly impressed by a sentence in it, which said: "A person's attitude towards sex and love 'doesn't depend on men, women, or men and women', but on the person himself."

At that time, Xu Zhou didn't fully understand the meaning of this sentence. He only knew that he was a homosexual and was born with it. Just like straight men like women, Xu Zhou just likes men.

At that time, Xu Zhou was ignorant, and Xu Zhou also met Yang Sen at that time, but he didn't understand this sentence until he was with Yang Sen for a long time.

Many years later, Xu Zhou understood this sentence, and Yang Sen also understood this sentence, and they both had a certain choice through each other.Because for Yang Sen, he just likes Xu Zhou, and it has nothing to do with whether Xu Zhou is a man or not.

It is also a bit strange to say, and many people may not understand or agree with it.What does it mean to like him to like a man, rather than liking a man to like him?This question requires everyone to find the answer in their own life.

Xu Zhou didn't know if he chose Chai Jing's industry just because of Chai Jing's report, but Xu Zhou never regretted it.

Although Xu Zhou himself is not sure whether he is really suitable for journalism, but for Xu Zhou, there is no other suitable major for Xu Zhou.Xu Zhou's mother didn't have any opinion on this either, she followed Xu Zhou in everything.

Xu Zhou found out that he was gay from a very accidental event.

Ever since Xu Zhou could remember, his parents had divorced, regardless of the reason.Xu Zhou had very little impression of his father, and only saw each other in a hurry every few years, but Xu Zhou never thought about why his parents divorced, and never asked.

Looking at his mother who was dependent on each other, Xu Zhou couldn't bear to ask, why let his mother worry more.

However, if something exists, it will always be there. One day, it will slowly wake up and become a brutal lion, break through the thick cage, catch the relevant people and tear it apart desperately.

Xu Zhou didn't want to be the person involved, but he was trapped in the trap. From birth to now, this was his fate, a fate he had to accept.

Xu Zhou was only 10 years old that night, right?That is, a little bit.However, he was made to suffer things that he shouldn't have suffered at his age.

That night, Xu Zhou's father came back in a hurry. It was already eleven o'clock in the evening, but Xu Zhou did not fall asleep that night. From the moment Xu Zhou's father entered the door, Xu Zhou woke up unexpectedly.

He closed his eyes and listened to the movement outside.