casual and fun

Shi Nian still doesn't know that the song "Tonight" was composed by Yang Sile based on him. After all, the lyrics are more like a person confiding his heart to his shadow in the middle of the night, as if it has nothing to do with him.

When he heard the complete lyrics for the first time, he was playing the cello, and there was only one voice in his heart: Yang Sile is a very kind person, and his songs are written for those who are as kind as him but suffer for no reason. of.

Shi Nian secretly swore that he would never forget this night and Yang Sile on the stage.

But his reason was superficial, not righteous, he just wanted to always like Yang Sile, wanted to be with Yang Sile.Because Yang Sile is such a good person, he is too good to forget.

The encore session sang Xie Chen's self-composed music, and the performance ended smoothly before ten o'clock.After the end, the large-scale social gathering kicked off.

People from Qingjiang Yinzhong naturally gathered together, chatting and laughing aimlessly, talking and laughing in less than 5 minutes.

Wherever Xie Chen went, he was the favorite of the group. When he got off the stage, he was the first to be surrounded by Chen Xu's original band. The owner of the piano store proudly held his shoulders, showing off to his friends that his student was promising.

The captain, Yang Sile, was still worrying. He kept counting the rented stereos and packing up the instruments without stopping.Seeing that he was so busy that he was sweating profusely and couldn't drink a sip of water, Shi Nian came over to help in silence.

After a while, Yang Si Le was forcibly pulled over by the head of the room, Qu Mi, to drink and chat. Cen Wanping walked up to Shi Nian's side, and introduced herself quite well, "You are Shi Nian, right? I'm Yang... Yang Sile's Mother."

Shi Nian was packing the equipment to be returned. When he heard the sound and looked up, he was so frightened that he almost smashed the microphone worth thousands of dollars to the ground.

He stood up in a hurry, rubbing his hands on his jeans again and again, making sure that there was no more sweat and dust, and then handed them out respectfully: "Hello, Auntie! I'm Shi Nian!"

This is the first time Cen Wanping has seen Shi Nian in person in the ten months since she returned to Qingjiang. Meet.

"I often hear my Yang Sile talking about you, and today I finally met the real person."

Instead of shaking hands with Shi Nian, she wrapped his hands in her palms and squeezed them affectionately.Yang Sile also has this little habit.

Shi Nian lowered his head in embarrassment, and asked in a low voice, "What did he say about me?"

Cen Wanping smiled and replied: "Too many, anyway, it's either to praise your place, or to praise your place."

Shi Nian kept smirking: "No, no...he's the better one, so it doesn't matter who you are."

The shy boy in front of her eyes overlapped with the once obedient and smiling little boy. The more Cen Wanping saw him, the more she liked him. She almost wanted to take him home now and make some desserts for him like before.

However, reminiscing about the past still has to wait until Yang Sile confesses his identity, so as not to scare Nian Nian.

She finally patted Shi Nian's hand, and said with satisfaction: "If you have time, you must come to Auntie's house as a guest. Auntie will cook for you. It's getting late today. Auntie will go back first. You can't relax if you stay here." Son. Classmate Shi Nian, remember to come to my house, don't be polite to auntie."

The hospitality is hard to come by, Shi Nian nodded meekly: "Okay, thank you, Auntie."

After watching Cen Wanping go upstairs and leave, he was startled: What if the aunt can't accept her precious son being with a boy... What will I do then?

I have no worries about coming out, but Yang Sile may have.Now that the arrow is on the line, there is no time to plan so much, Shi Nian comforts himself, Auntie is so gentle, as long as he is sincere enough to Yang Sile, he will always find a way to get forgiven.

After packing his things with a lot of thoughts, he sat in the corner where he ate at night, casually opened a bottle of beer and drank it, hugging the sleeping little girl and thinking wildly for more than an hour.

Near midnight, all the people who came to listen to the music left. Chen Nan carried the guitar and went home with his mother. Lin Li and Xie Chen walked back to school again. It was rare that the basement was so quiet when there were people.

Chen Xu saw off his friends and went back downstairs to clean up with Yang Sile.Shi Nian has a poor capacity for alcohol, and he was a little dizzy after drinking a bottle of beer. In addition, he has been busy preparing for the band's re-examination these days, and sleeps very little every day. He watched the two figures going back and forth, and unconsciously nestled with the little girl Fell asleep in a chair.

Yang Sile was afraid that he would catch a cold, so he woke him up softly after cleaning: "Niannian, Niannian, wake up, go home and sleep with brother, be good."

Shi Nian felt like he had slept for a long time, but it was only 10 minutes.He opened his eyes, raised his face to look at Yang Sile who was close at hand, and asked in a nasal voice, "What time is it?"

The basement was dimly lit, so Yang Sile only left a spotlight on the top of the stairs, and turned it off when he planned to leave.At this moment, the surroundings seemed to be still water, and Shi Nian's breathing was like ripples on the surface of the water, making him even more reluctant to part with this night.

He held Shi Nian's face with his clean hands, rubbed the corners of Shi Nian's eyes with his thumbs, and sighed involuntarily: "Ten minutes have passed since October 10th."

Shi Nianben snuggled into his palm unconsciously, and suddenly became sober after hearing the words.He straightened up from the back of the chair suddenly, raised his voice, and asked in disbelief: "It's already past twelve o'clock?!"

It's over, it's over, he obviously wanted to confess to Yang Sile on a memorable day like his first live tonight, but he somehow fell asleep.

Alcohol is a mistake, I will never drink it again!

Shi Nian looked around in a daze, not remembering a word of the draft he had typed early.

Yang Sile withdrew his hand, leaned on his knees to observe his unusual reaction, and said tentatively, "Mu Xiangfei just came to pick up his sister."

Shi Nian was absent-minded: "Really..."

"Yeah." Seeing that he obviously wasn't anxious for this, Yang Sile put his hand on his forehead suspiciously, "Are you feeling unwell... Eh? It seems a little hot!"

Shi Nian, who had sounded the first-level alert, was shuddered by his touch, and repeated awkwardly: "Really?"

Yang Sile didn't dare to delay, pulled the sweat towel on his back, stuffed it into the sports crossbody bag on his back, and made a gesture to leave: "Niannian, get up, I'll take you home to rest, the fever won't last you .”

His tone was urgent, as if he was forcibly letting go of his own panic. Shi Nian was afraid that he would really leave, that he would leave him at the beginning of October [-]th, so he immediately stopped him, regardless of recalling the prepared confession lines. took Yang Sile's hand.

He looked straight ahead and said in a hoarse voice, "I'm not feeling sick, please sit with me for a while."

"Okay?" He looked up at Yang Sile, his eyes were like deep wells.

Yang Sile suddenly remembered the description he had written into the song, and felt that he should reject it.

Shi Nian seemed to be a different person in just a few seconds, with a resolute expression but also tenderness.This made him unable to assess what was about to happen, and unable to guarantee whether his first reaction would satisfy Shi Nian.

But he was only in a daze, and sat down beside Shi Nian reflexively.

Since he was a child, he has never been ruthless in rejecting the persistent requests every year, even after five years of separation, he still has no progress.

The two were silent for a long time, Shi Nian did not let go of Yang Sile's hand, nor did he forget his sincerity in wanting to love him.After a while, he made up his mind, opened his hand and put it between Yang Sile's fingers, interlocking his fingers.

Yang Sile's Adam's apple rolled, and he turned to look at Shi Nian hesitantly: "Niannian...what's the matter?"

Shi Nian didn't answer, but solemnly called his name: "Yang Sile."

Yang Sile almost stood up on the spot: "Here!"

Shi Nian turned his face, met his eyes that were half startled and half puzzled, and suddenly smiled: "Why are you so nervous? You don't seem to be so nervous at band performances."

After all, it was just a joke, Yang Sile let down his vigilance, his tense muscles softened one by one, and even shook Shi Nian's hand: "You scared me to death... I thought you were in a bad mood, Want to fight with me."

The smile on Shi Nian's face gradually dissipated, he stared at him for a long time, and said seriously: "I'm sorry, Yang Sile, I won't do it in the future."

Shi Nian apologized too seriously, and Yang Sile, who told a little lie, didn't know what to do for a while.He paused, then leaned over and rubbed Shi Nian's face with his other hand: "Okay, what's the problem in the future..."

Shi Nian looked at him motionless, let him touch him, and said calmly, "I like you."

Thanks to Xie Shen's lesson, he didn't go around the corner this time, and he didn't say harsh words.He directly pressed Yang Sile's hand, tilted his head, and confessed vigorously: "You like me too, right? Would you like to try it out with me?"

I don't care about the long-term, let's talk about coming out of the closet, he just wants to confirm the relationship with Yang Sile immediately, end the useless speculation and endless anxiety, and use his limited memory and limited time to talk to Yang Sile wholeheartedly a love affair.

But Yang Sile was dumbfounded.

He didn't know which sentence Shi Nian made such an inference based on. He had never thought about it before, and always treated Shi Nian as his own younger brother. How could it be like this? !

In the blink of an eye, Yang Sile searched through the "Observation Journal of Homosexual Individuals" in his mind, but couldn't find any clues that Shi Nian liked him.In his eyes, Shi Nian didn't resist his physical contact, but stuck to him tightly. It was all because of his younger brother's trust and concern for his elder brother, and it was definitely not his love for the same sex.

Since when did the mess start? !

Shi Nian felt his fingertips trembling, mistook him for being so excited that he couldn't speak or hear, and planned to go straight to the base.

"Yang Sile, if you ignore me again, I'll kiss you."

Yang Sile originally wanted to say, "Try to communicate with me first if you have any problems in the future", but how should he communicate with this problem now? !

The truth was stuck in his throat, he couldn't cough it out and swallowed it. In the chaos, he remembered the ad slogan inappropriately: "It's chronic pharyngitis!"

...No, this is acute pharyngitis.

How to do how to do?

What to do if you misunderstand every year!

Help!

Shi Nian thought he hadn't been rejected, and his heart jumped with joy like he was holding a frisky chick. He immediately put both hands in his arms, and leaned over to touch his lips superficially.

Yang Sile had been working all night, his lips were dry and slightly cold, Shi Nian's heart was surging, he wanted to kiss him wet and warm, kiss him like the one on the stage, even if he was sitting at the back, even if he got the least amount of light, A drummer who can capture people's hearts even without saying a word.

He raised his eyelids to peek at Yang Sile's reaction. Yang Sile seemed to have just realized that he was kissed, and his eyes widened.

Shi Nian was stunned by his bewildered and surprised look, and really raised his hands to hold his face, closed his eyes and kissed him decisively.

He has no experience, so he can only imitate the movie clips and suck Yang Sile's lips dryly.But even such a monotonous and blunt kiss is enough to make him feel hot all over, wishing it could be deeper, deeper, so as to taste the true taste of his sweetheart.

He tried to pry open Yang Sile's lips, but at the same time he was worried that he would show his timidity, so he acted urgently and arrogantly, like a good boy pretending to be a delinquent boy.

Yang Sile's face was stained red by Shi Nian's scorching breath. He forgot to breathe, and his body reacted with the suffocation.

He pushed Shi Nian away, but not because of the inappropriate relationship between the two of them, but because he sweated a lot tonight, and he hadn't had time to go back to take a shower, so he must be smelly, and now that they are so close, he was caught What should I do if I smell it every year? !

He jumped up from the chair in embarrassment, stumbled back one meter away, pushed his palms outward, and said incoherently: "Listen to me every year, let's calm down... You misunderstood, I am your brother, I am your brother Well, it should be, it's not what I like, I never thought of using this to lure you!"

Shi Nian kissed well, but he didn't understand that he would respond so suddenly, "should" and "seduce".

Yang Sile was so anxious that he was sweating profusely, regardless of whether he could accept it or not, he poured out the truth that had been buried in his belly for several months.

"Niannian you forgot, I am brother Yangyang, brother Yangyang!" He pointed to his face, "Look at my face and think about it carefully? We are not only classmates in elementary school, we live in the same community, and we have been together since we were young. When I grew up, my parents knew each other, and then my dad had an accident, and I moved to Beijing with my mom, and you still cried and asked me to go with me, try to remember, huh?"

Like a thunderbolt from the blue sky, Shi Nian was forced to withdraw from his enthusiasm, shaking his head while listening to resist, it was difficult to equate Yang Sile with the "Brother Yangyang" in the diary.

What a joke, he didn't believe it.

Yang Sile became an ant on a hot pot, circling around in circles, scratching his head and trying to prove that he was himself.

"That's right!" His eyes lit up, "Uncle Shi and Aunt Fu both know, you can call them and ask them!"

Shi Nian still shook his head: "How is it possible, impossible... My dad said that brother Yangyang has a girlfriend, how could you be him? Impossible..."

Yang Sile was almost at a loss for breath: "No, since when did I have a girlfriend?! I don't! I haven't even had a crush!"

No one ever liked.Even though Shi Nian resisted extremely, he could hear clearly.

He has already secretly believed it.

Because he thought of seeing Yang Sile sitting on a tree playing the flute, he lost a little bit of memory, remembering Yang Sile telling him not to eat fried soybeans, remembering that Yang Sile could always find a small restaurant that suits his taste, Thinking of the natural intimacy between him and Yang Sile, and the sense of familiarity that emerged several times.

All the details that still remain in his memory point to a conclusion that he has never been connected with in this way——Yang Sile is the brother Yangyang, the brother Yangyang that he has forgotten, the brother Yangyang that he thinks has nothing to do with him anymore.

The embarrassment of being sentimental, the loss of being rejected, the anger of being the last to learn the truth, and the unprecedented hatred for amnesia all filled Shi Nian's mouth and nose, making him unable to breathe.

He couldn't figure it out, why did it have to be Brother Yangyang?Why did Yang Sile only want to be nice to him, but not like him?

It's all right now, it's all screwed up, he and Yang Sile won't even have to be friends in the future.

He lost two important people at the same time within the first hour of today, October [-]th.

In fact, Yang Sile didn't know why he was in a hurry, he just felt that something was wrong and he had to correct it, continuing to be ambiguous would only cause greater harm to Shi Nian.

Seeing that Shi Nian's eyes were red, as if he was about to cry, he immediately sat back on the chair with shame and distress, and wanted to seriously apologize to Shi Nian for his transgressive behavior and coax him well.

"Niannian... I'm sorry, my brother shouldn't treat you like a child, I'm sorry..."

As soon as he put his hand on Shi Nian's shoulder, Shi Nian smashed his hand away, raised his head and shouted at the ceiling: "Don't touch me!"

He stood up panting and staggeringly, and walked down the stairs in a daze, leaving the cello behind.However, after walking a few steps, he squatted on the ground clutching his chest, crying helplessly.

This scene tortured Yang Sile far more than the one where Shi Nian cried in the Qingyuan Hotel. His heart clenched uncontrollably, and he even had the urge to cry.

He ran to Shi Nian, hugged him tightly, and said with a sore throat, "I'm sorry Niannian, brother likes you, brother likes you, stop crying."

Shi Nian clenched his fist and slammed himself on the head: "Why! Why do I have this disease? I can't remember at all!"

Yang Sile didn't let go of his hand, and held it tightly in his palm, subconsciously wanting to put it to his lips and kiss it.But he has just realized that such behavior is wrong.

He has never really admired anyone. His life so far has been smooth except for the serious car accident that happened to Yang Liu. He spends all his spare time on endless hobbies, and he also has a lot of fun by himself. Never considered being bound to another person.

Facing Shi Nian's painful tears and unresolved questioning, he had no time to distinguish whether his rare desire to be close to someone, to be inseparable with someone was out of love for his younger brother or Shi Nian's love for him.

All he knew was that he was going to die of grief right now.He always made Shi Nian cry and made Shi Nian suffer from illness, no matter as an elder brother or in any other capacity, he was contemptible.

Shi Nian still had a sliver of reason, he didn't want to push himself deeper into the swamp, curled up in Yang Sile's arms and howled a few times, then broke away from his hand and ran upstairs with tears on his face.

"Every year! Every year!"

Fearing that something might happen to him, Yang Sile hurried to catch up with him, only to find out when he got upstairs that the situation here was even more unsightly.

The benches were lying on the ground in disorder, and the cardboard boxes piled up beside the front desk were crushed, toppled over, and rotten. Chen Xu and Mou Xiangfei hadn't left yet, as if they had just had a fight. Sit in the two farthest corners of the hot pot restaurant and calm down.

Chen Xu was covered in dirt and dust, smoking a stuffy cigarette with his head bowed, and two cigarette butts that were extinguished at the butts were scattered at his feet.Mu Xiangfei's mouth was broken, and his cheekbones were swollen. He hugged his scared and crying sister and patted her on the back without saying a word.

The basement used to be a livehouse, and the landlord spent a lot of money to make a sound insulation layer. When the door was closed, Yang Sile didn't hear any big noise at all.

What's more, it wasn't much better in the basement just now. His mind was all on Shi Nian, and he was selectively deaf to external sounds.

In the time it took to stop and look around, Shi Nian had already disappeared.

Yang Sile walked back from the alley dejectedly, "too lazy to take a name", called Shi Zhengguo on the way, told him the situation tonight, and asked him to comfort Shi Nian.

Shi Zhengguo: "Yangyang, to be honest, he's staying with his mother this week..."

So Yang Sile called Fu Yi again.

Fu Yi was angry.It was precisely in order to avoid this situation that she listened to the advice and did not reveal the truth to Shi Nian, but it turned out that Yang Sile was fine, and she said it simply and rudely. Wouldn't the efforts of the past few months be in vain?

Yang Sile didn't have time to care about what happened upstairs, so he hid in the basement alone to be scolded sincerely, at least not so sad that he couldn't bear it.

He looked at the empty chair beside him - where Nian Nian was sitting just now, and kissed him with a hot heart.

And what did he do?

He threw this heart on the ground and trampled on it, brazenly saying that it was just a misunderstanding, but in fact your heart is not as real as you think.

Yang Sile thought about what he had done unconsciously, and felt more and more guilty.

He wiped his face, dialed Shi Nian, and got an unreasonable prompt from the operator: "The phone you dialed has been turned off, please try again later."

At that time, Yang Sile never expected that Shi Nian's "later" would be a full two weeks.