casual and fun

But he didn't really turn around and leave.

Yang Sile's bag and cell phone are still with him, and his luggage and cello are still in the hotel that Yang Sile booked. Thoughts go back one by one.

The cold light of the phone stopped, and after the shock and grief, he was dazed and tired.Standing on an unfamiliar street full of laughter and laughter, he couldn't remember the reason why he agreed to travel with Yang Sile.

After Yang Sile went to the bathroom, he came to the entrance of the Cantonese restaurant and saw Shi Nian staring at the road in a daze.

He walked to Shi Nian's side, took his satchel from his hand, and explained, "There are people in the bathroom, I waited a little longer."

Shi Nian turned around, spread out his left hand, and handed him the mobile phone in his palm: "Well, it's okay."

Hearing his weary tone, Yang Sile looked up at him while taking the phone, only to find that his brows were downcast, listless, and his expression could be called sad.

"What's the matter Shi Nian?" He leaned forward with his hands behind his back, tilted his head to find Shi Nian's gaze from a lower place, and asked worriedly, "What happened while I was away?"

Looking at each other, Shi Nian only glanced at him, then turned away, and walked away coldly: "I was thinking about the game just now."

Yang Sile straightened up and caught up with him with his mobile phone: "The competition is over," he walked backwards, constantly observing Shi Nian's reaction, "Regardless of whether you played well or badly, the results will be announced tomorrow, and we will play again tonight." It's no use thinking about it."

He wanted to rub Shi Nian's hair and fingers again, but he held back.

"It's better to play happily and enjoy the last few days of vacation before school, don't you think?"

Shi Nian felt as if he had opened up the perspective of God. At this time, no matter what beautiful words Yang Sile said, what kind things he did, or what harmless roles he played, he could see through the ugly truth behind it at a glance.

But his heart gradually calmed down, and even the sense of bewilderment became indifferent, leaving only boredom.

He seemed to accept the increasingly clear reality that he was doomed to keep no one.

"Correct."

He lost brother Yangyang, ruined the class monitor's youthful memory, wandered outside the group in junior high school, and couldn't win Xie Chen's love, which made Yang Sile, who is so good-tempered, feel tired.After living for a full 16 years, the only friends he can talk to with confidence are his biological father and tablemate Zhang Qinghao, which is a real failure.

"You are right."

He can't enjoy it, let alone enjoy it.Traveling is boring, making friends is boring, and practicing the piano alone is more interesting behind closed doors.

"You said yesterday that you were going abroad, and you have already contacted the school?"

Passers-by on shared bicycles passed by behind, Shi Nian pulled Yang Sile in his direction to avoid accidents.Yang Sile turned around and walked side by side with him.

He looked down at Shi Nian's hand on his forearm that hadn't let go. He was very pleased with his protective gesture, and his smile grew stronger: "I must have lied to him. Going abroad is not that simple. With my professional level, how could I contact the school before I was in the second year of high school."

Shi Nian put his hands in his trouser pockets and looked at the road ahead: "I thought you wouldn't lie."

Yang Sile recalled his evaluation of himself last night, and shrugged his shoulders in both amused and unfair ways: "Shi Nian, I'm not a saint, I'm just an ordinary person. I make mistakes, I'm lazy, I lie, my grades are mediocre, and sometimes I'm too much." Idealism, the kind of people who want to learn everything, but only know the surface of everything—ordinary people.”

Shi Nian nodded as if he didn't care, to show that he understood.

The two of them were speechless for a while, they just walked forward, neither of them knew where they were going.Yang Sile kept looking at Shi Nian as he walked, wanting to poke his soft face countless times, asking him what he was still unhappy about.

It was impossible for Shi Nian not to notice Yang Sile's search, but he ignored it all the time, stopping at the intersection in a nonchalant way, waiting for the red light to turn green.

He was obviously quite lively while eating, why did he become so indifferent and preoccupied all of a sudden?Yang Sile racked his brains and couldn't think of the reason.

He stood on the road ridge and hesitated for a moment, lightly bumped Shi Nian's shoulder, and asked jokingly: "What's the matter, I'm a little disappointed with this?"

Shi Nian didn't answer this question. He pretended to be watching, and logically took half a step away from Yang Sile, then raised his chin and pointed to the shopping mall across the street: "It seems that someone is doing a road show."

Yang Sile was slapped in public by his half-step, and the smile froze at the corner of his mouth.

Hit the shoulder more than the norm?Chen Nan also bumped into his shoulder, he didn't think this action was so dreamy...

Not to mention brothers who grew up with a pair of underpants, even ordinary friends and classmates also love to do this, why do they resist every year?

Isn't being gay a little too... touchy?

Shi Nian didn't wait for him to answer, just like when Shi Zhengguo wrote the script, he read his lines expressionlessly: "Don't you like this kind of performance, do you want to go and see it?"

The tone of the proposal that should have been gentle and accommodating was read in a dull and tasteless tone, and Yang Sile gave him a strange look before looking in the direction he pointed.

Sitting by the fountain at the entrance of the shopping mall was a young man dressed plainly, with a guitar bag spread out in front of him, a portable speaker standing at his feet, and a half-person-high microphone in front of him, playing and singing Jay Chou's "Qilixiang".

The couple sitting on the bench drinking drinks, the residents who came out to walk their dogs, and the passers-by who stopped by, everyone sat around loosely, and did not cast too much attention on him, as if he was disguised as a stone and hidden in the lawn of the square In the music speaker, his singing is the background sound that should exist to cool off the heat.

Yang Sile saw that he was a frequent visitor here, so he boldly stood closer and listened.

After the young man sang the last line of the lyrics, he plucked the strings and smiled at him.Yang Sile responded with a smile, squatted down and put ten yuan in cash into his piano bag.

"It sounds good."

The young man seemed to have never been praised, and he didn't realize it at first. After a while, he bowed his head shyly while holding the guitar, and sincerely said to him, "Thank you."

Yang Sile didn't get up, but continued to squat, looking up at him slightly: "Many people don't carry cash when going out now, you can print a payment QR code and stand it on the speaker."

The young man didn't say yes or no, and repeated again: "Thank you."

Yang Sile felt that he was being too lenient, so he waved his hand and said, "It's just a suggestion. You're welcome."

Shi Nian stood behind Yang Sile and had a panoramic view of their interaction.

He once again had the urge to cry, because he found that Yang Sile, an "ordinary person", is full of care and empathy for acquaintances and strangers, old and young, people of various professions .

If he could find out earlier, maybe he wouldn't have misunderstood him, thinking that he was the object of his special treatment out of love.

At this moment, he helplessly admitted - he likes Yang Sile.

Even if Yang Sile didn't like him and complained about him to his friends behind his back, he was still very moved.I can't figure out the source, and I can't extricate myself from the heartbeat.

The young man plucked the guitar again, it was "Cruel Moonlight" by Yoga Lin.

Yang Si Le stepped back, all the way back to Shi Nian's side, and sang along: "Let me love you, and then abandon me. I just want to start, no purpose."

In addition to him, there are many people around who are also singing, and everyone has a normal or moved expression on their faces.Yang Sile has always liked and longed for this kind of atmosphere, and beat the drum set with his fingers on his legs to accompany the rhythm.

After the young man finished singing, he remembered that he should take care of Shi Nian, who doesn't listen to pop songs, and introduce the details of the song to him.

"Shi Nian, have you heard—"

He turned his head with a smile, but what he met was not a pair of equally intoxicated eyes, but a face with no expression and tears streaming down his face.

He didn't know why Shi Nian was crying, why he was crying unreservedly, he only knew that he couldn't laugh anymore, his heart that was soaring was almost burned by those two lines of tears that were still falling.

For a moment he was at a loss, he didn't dare to touch Shi Nian, hold his face and softly coax him, and he didn't dare to act rashly and ask some stupid questions.

Suddenly, Shi Nian turned around and left first: "I'm sleepy, go back to the hotel."

He didn't wipe away the tear stains with his hands, and the brand new tears were still pouring out continuously.But his voice was still calm and steady, as if two separate souls occupied the same body, splitting his emotions and behaviors into fragments that could not be made into a pair.

Yang Sile felt even more distressed. He even wondered if he was reminded of some unbearable past by this song every year, but he didn't want to say anything to him, so he vented in this way.

He bid farewell to the young man opposite with his eyes, and followed Shi Nian carefully all the way, not getting too close or far away, always watching him with worried eyes.

Shi Nian gradually stopped his tears, lowered his head and fiddled with the phone, treating him as nothing.

The two returned to the hotel in silence. Shi Nian took his pajamas and went to the bathroom to take a shower, while Yang Sile sat at the end of the bed, contemplating with his hands tied.

It wasn't until the sound of the water stopped that he made up his mind to ask Fu Yi.

As soon as he turned on the phone, the WeChat notifications on the lock screen filled his eyes.He was just thinking about his words, so he mechanically swipe to delete one by one.

The first one is a popular app push, the second one is Shi Nian's transfer reminder, and the third one is Chen Nan's news.

"Nan Nan will take you home."

delete.

"Be patient for two more days."

delete.

"My Good Captain".

delete.

"Traveling with Chief Shi has worked hard for you."

With his finger on the last one, Yang Sile suddenly stood up from the bed.

Shouldn't...

isn't it? !

He hurriedly unlocked his phone, prayed secretly, opened WeChat, and checked the time when Shi Nian transferred the money to him.

Praying was useless, Shi Nian really transferred the money to him immediately after dinner, and the time difference from the time he paid at the front desk of the Cantonese restaurant was less than 3 minutes.

It's over, Chen Nan's reply is connected with his, he should have seen it at that time, so when he went to the toilet, his mood turned 180 degrees, and his whole person became depressed.

Yang Sile was astonished, he never expected that this oolong would make his Nian Nian cry so sadly.

No wonder Nian Nian said that he "thought" he wouldn't lie. He didn't realize that Nian Nian had other meanings at that time, but he simply referred to yesterday's incident with the chief violinist.

What to do now, before he knew it, his credit at Niannian was on the verge of bankruptcy, who would believe it? !

Yang Sile was so worried that he walked up and down the room holding his mobile phone.When Shi Nian came out of the shower, he bumped into him.

"You're done washing..."

Shi Nian lowered his eyes to wipe off the water from the bottom of the slippers on the carpet, and said directly, "Go and wash."

"Don't worry, it's still early." Yang Si Le followed him step by step, asking insincerely, "Shi Nian, you just..."

After listening to the beginning, Shi Nian guessed what he was going to say.

However, it was impossible for him to tell the real reason for his tears, so he wiped his hair with a hotel towel and interrupted: "I'm very tired, I'll talk about it tomorrow if I have anything to do."

no!The more you think about it all night, the angrier you get, and I can't explain it clearly!

Yang Sile understood this truth, and continued tenaciously, "Just a few words."

Shi Nian turned on the hair dryer, skillfully blowing his voice away.

Yang Sile was as anxious as an ant on a hot pot, and sat down next to him, called up the dialog with Chen Nan, and put the phone in front of his eyes: "Did you see this and you're unhappy?"

Shi Nian raised his head in the other direction, blowing the back of his head with a hair dryer, but didn't look at his phone.

"It's all a misunderstanding! I didn't say anything bad about you! How could I say anything bad about you?!" Yang Sile loudly repented in his ear, and continued to scroll up the chat history with his fingers, "Look, I mean Qingyuan is nothing It's funny, Chen Nan misunderstood the meaning."

Shi Nian still ignored him.

"He hasn't been with you before, and his impression of you is still at the superficial level of a god of learning! I'll go back and criticize him!" Yang Sile softened his voice, "Don't get angry, okay?"

Shi Nian dried his hair two or three times, turned off the hair dryer, and pretended to lie down under the covers to sleep.He got up and lifted the quilt, but didn't lift it, and glanced down, Yang Sile's butt was still pressed.

"Excuse me, I'm going to sleep."

He didn't look at Yang Sile the whole time.

Yang Sile complained incessantly, reluctantly moved a few inches towards the end of the bed.

Shi Nian was too lazy to repeat, went around to sleep on the other side of the big bed.

Yang Sile didn't understand why he didn't want to listen to his explanation. In fact, as long as this matter was opened up, it was just a misunderstanding smaller than sesame seeds, and it was nothing worth mentioning in the time they shared together.

But Shi Nian seemed to directly negate all of his personality because of this misunderstanding, which made Yang Sile panic.

Regardless of the fact that he didn't take a shower or change his clothes, he climbed onto the bed after wiping off his shoes, and stuck them to Shi Nian's back in one go.

He held the phone in his left hand and pressed it against Shi Nian through the quilt. His right hand forced his way through the slight gap between Shi Nian's neck and the pillow, and merged with his left hand. In this way, he finally hugged Shi Nian into his arms. .

—Finally comfortable.

Don't worry about what's there or not, just hug every year if you want, that's great.Yang Sile sighed in satisfaction.

"What are you doing?!" Shi Nian also realized this, kicking his legs and struggling against his chest.

Yang Sile has practiced drumming for several years, and what he lacks most is strength in his hands.He took the opportunity to put his leg on Shi Nian, and easily suppressed his resistance.

"Hey, don't move, let my brother hug you." Yang Sile buried his face at the junction of Shi Nian's shoulder and neck, and said sullenly, "I've endured it all day, let me hug you for a while."

Others smoke cats and dogs, but he smokes Niannian.Yang Sile felt that his behavior was very legitimate, without evil thoughts and impurities, it was a kind of pure intimacy and love.

Even so, the realization of "love" made his hanging heart abnormally sink into the swamp of inseparability.

Shi Nian didn't move.With his back to Yang Sile, he looked sadly at the shadow of the tree reflected on the curtain.

"Do you do the same to your brother?" he asked softly.

Yang Sile nodded, then shook his head after a few seconds: "I've never hugged him like this before."

It felt very novel, and it was also mixed with the indulgence that seemed to be the result of all the efforts, as if he had longed for this hug for a long time.

Shi Nian heard the words and stopped talking.

He had heard every word of Yang Sile's explanation just now, and it was well-founded and worthy of his trust.But this also made him realize unprecedentedly that there are problems that are difficult to reconcile between the two.

Just because he likes Yang Sile doesn't mean that they can naturally become a married couple.They are two completely different types of people. If they didn't meet each other on campus by chance, with their respective preferences and personalities, I am afraid that there will be no more in-depth intersection in this life.

Yang Sile likes novelty and is good at taking risks. After spending a long time with him personally, he will find that he is more rigid and boring than he imagined.

What will he do then?Who will bear the sunk costs?

"Yang Sile."

"Ah."

"I'll go back to Qingjiang early tomorrow morning." Shi Nian informed him.

Yang Sile immediately raised his head and asked in surprise, "Why!"

Shi Nian replied flatly: "No reason, I don't like Qingyuan."

Yang Sile thought that he was still angry with him, and hurriedly turned on his phone to explain again: "Don't you believe it? I really never said anything bad about you to Chen Nan, never! If you don't believe me, you can see! "

Shi Nian held his wrist, raised his forearm to block his mobile phone, and said in an impatient tone: "Have you hugged enough? Come down when you have hugged enough, I want to sleep."

Yang Sile was helpless.

He intuited that after Shi Nian left, they would be completely acquainted strangers after school started. Everything returned to the original point. He stretched out his hand to say hello to Shi Nian. Frown passed him, at most just looking at him.

Something good happened to him that day, so he whistled briskly. In the future, I am afraid that even that "one look" will no longer exist.

Inexplicably, Yang Sile had such an intuition.

This night, insomnia fell on another person who had never experienced such a feeling.

Yang Sile sat behind the desk, his eyes accustomed to the darkness resting on Shi Nian's deep sleep face facing him for a long time.

He recalled that when he was a child, Shi Nian taught him to climb trees, shared snacks with him, sat on a small bench with him and blew bubbles, and took a mouthful of "Brother Yangyang", never leaving him a half step.

He remembered that in the first month when he moved to Beijing, his mother was in a bad mood and was in a trance. He could only rub his eyes and stay up all night. After she fell asleep, he would sneak into the living room and use his landline at home to secretly call Auntie Fu, asking about what happened every year and today. Did you eat obediently, did you cry and ask her for brother Yangyang?

Later, Dad's medicine was ineffective, and they were persuaded by the doctor to go home. Mom's condition became worse and worse, and she cut off the interpersonal communication on the Qingjiang side, and she was determined to be a living dead. in time.

He sympathized with this feeling, and disappeared together. He went to and from school every day to do homework, and basically spent his free time practicing various musical instruments, delving into all kinds of gadgets that can divert attention, make himself happy, and make his mother smile.

No wonder who, he gave up on Niannian first.

The sky was about to turn white, Yang Sile sighed in frustration, got up resignedly, and packed Shi Nian's luggage.

He took off the suit hanging in the closet, put it in the suitcase, and folded a set of clean clothes and put it next to Shi Nian's pillow.

He even helped Shi Nian buy the morning train ticket alone, woke him up a little bit, and wanted to send him to the high-speed rail station, and then go back to the hotel to catch up on sleep.

"Niannian, wake up." He sat by the bed, shook Shi Nian's shoulders, and said softly, "Go home, I'll see you off."

Shi Nian frowned and opened his eyes.Yang Sile put his hand under his forehead to help him block the light coming in from the window: "I bought you breakfast, if you don't wake up, you'll be cold."

Shi Nian was still awake, subconsciously rolled up the quilt and shrank towards him, muttering, "What time is it?"

Yang Sile's heart was so soft that he pinched his earlobe, and replied, "45:09. I bought you a train ticket for 30:[-]. Get up quickly, or you won't be able to catch up if you don't afford it."

Shi Nian, who was so tired and wanted to continue to sleep for a while, frowned even tighter: "Why buy me a train ticket?"

Yang Sile was very frustrated, but still forced a smile and said, "I'm afraid you want to leave while I'm asleep, so I just bought it for you. Don't be angry."

Shi Nian looked up at him in bewilderment, and asked, "Leave while you're asleep? Where are you going?"

Yang Sile was stunned: "Go back to Qingjiang..."

Shi Nian sat up on the bed, and rubbed his forehead amusedly: "Are you still asleep or have a fever? I'm going back to the Universal Hotel later. Why are you going back to Qingjiang?"

Yang Sile's eyes widened. It was the first time he had witnessed this silent and absurd process that had only been told by Fu Yi once.

He grabbed Shi Nian's hand from his forehead and held it tightly in his palm.

"Shi Nian..." His Adam's apple rolled and he asked in a trembling voice, "What are you doing back at Universal Hotel?"

Shi Nian was fully awake.

Yang Sile's reaction was too unusual, and his long-term habit of keeping vigilant about it made him realize that he might have forgotten something important.

He wanted to get out of bed to look through his notebook, but his right hand was tightly held by Yang Sile, and he couldn't find an excuse to avoid this question at all.

His face was flushed with anxiety, and he quickly looked for his mobile phone within sight: "Let go first, I... I want to go to the bathroom!"

Yang Sile didn't let go, and said calmly, "Shi Nian, don't look for it anymore. Be obedient, don't look for it anymore."

Shi Nian looked at him in panic, and was so shocked by the sympathy and pity on his expression that he lost the desire to defend himself.

He opened his eyes innocently, and the sockets of his eyes turned red immediately: "Today... I want, I want to participate in the competition..."

Yang Sile couldn't see him like this.He lowered his face and gritted his teeth.

The building was about to fall, Shi Nian slumped his shoulders, opened his mouth in disbelief, and a full teardrop fell down abruptly.

"Is not it……"