casual and fun

In the final week, the five days are fully booked. The first two days are for exams in Chinese, mathematics and other cultural courses, and the last three days are for the respective professional exams in the Minle Building of Xiyang Building and the Baichuan Building where the majors of vocal music, dance, and broadcasting are located.

Shi Nian practiced for a full month, and performed well in all subjects. As expected, he got the sixth overall score in the Western Music Department and the first grade in the string performance major.

Like the last semester, he followed the "recommendation" of the class teacher and applied for the final work exhibition.

There was no need to prepare anything extra, anyway, the piece was used for the final assessment, and it was only two days apart, so it was unlikely that I would forget everything completely.But he heard something from his deskmate Zhang Qinghao——Xie Chen won't be playing this year, and Yang Sile will play the piece he wrote.

This made Shi Nian uncomfortable.

The number one in the composition department, who is so damn good at the piano, is not on stage, but the amateur drummer from the folk music department's wind class is on stage, which is really something.

What's more, the awards they applied for were all "Best Solo". Shi Nian didn't dare to give himself a chance to breathe, and he had to continue practicing even after the exam.

Club activities have to end on Saturday, high school performances are performed on Sundays, and it is the turn of high school performances on the third day.

In the last few hours before the competition, Yang Sile understood more and more why only the bosses dared to report for this kind of competition.

This is different from taking a band to the square to play and sing in that [-]% of the audience in the square are strangers and laymen. As long as the performers do not charge and do not disturb the people, the psychological burden is very small. Putting aside shyness, it is basically nothing. .

But this final show is different. The front row is full of judges, and the back is full of classmates and friends who are about to enter the industry.What's more, what he was going to perform was a song that his good buddy Xie Chen had worked so hard to write for three days... Well, it didn't seem like he had worked hard for three days, but it didn't stop him from continuing to be nervous!

After finishing the rehearsal process in the afternoon, Yang Sile went into the grove for the second time, hung the southeast branch by himself again, and pretended to look at the tall buildings and roads outside the wall to brew his emotions.

The exhausting life day after day, the masked life day after day, from the cramped and simple rental house to another cage called "workplace", if you don't meet in the company, you may never take the initiative to make friends in your life Colleagues said things against their will, swallowed and even echoed the boss's oppression, until they also enslaved their own bodies and minds.

It's miserable... It's not about social animals, but Yang Sile feels that he is a bit miserable.

Sure enough, it is impossible to engage in art without mental illness. The extracurricular life is too colorful, and the natural personality is too optimistic and free and easy. I don’t fully understand the kind that Xie Chen wants to express. From numbness to unrestrained, and finally back to disappointment mood.

After sitting for an entire afternoon, he didn't brew anything except mosquito bags on his arms.

There were only 10 minutes left before the official stage, and the high school freshmen who came back to watch the game and the high school sophomores who stayed at school to watch the excitement had almost finished entering the arena.

Yang Sile held the curtain on the side of the console and counted. The auditorium's attendance rate was 600%, a total of more than [-] people, and a large area was filled.

Say... goodbye!

He fled back to the lounge and drank tons of Coke. He didn't stop after drinking, pacing up and down in the limited space with his tunic jacket in his arms, hiccupping the smell of Coke.

Chen Nan, who had nothing to do, sat on the dressing table and watched him wandering around: "Brother Yang, my eyes hurt, take a rest."

Yang Sile walked faster and faster: "No... hiccup! I can't help it, I'll stop... hiccup! I can't stop!"

Chen Nan jumped down from the dressing table, leaned over to him and pointed to Mu Xiangfei in the corner: "Look at Brother Xiang's mental quality, the solo class is the first to play, are you panicking?"

Yang Sile looked at Mu Xiangfei who was sitting on a chair with his head bowed facing the wall: "I think he is... hiccup! He fell asleep."

Chen Nan patted his chest with the back of his hand: "It's a blessing to be able to sleep. If you have the guts, you can sleep too. When you wake up, you can go directly to the stage. Wouldn't it be nice."

Yang Sile pointed to his throat: "Hiccup, how do you sleep?"

Chen Nan was puzzled: "No, we didn't see you so nervous at the first performance of our band. The mere final performance can scare you into hiccups."

"Mere?" Yang Sile picked up the flute box on the dressing table, and stuffed it into his arms without any explanation, "You are just... hiccup! Show me?"

Chen Nan immediately confessed, and put the flute box back: "Tangtang! Tangtang's final performance, haha." After finishing, he caressed the box to show his respect.

Xie Chen, who had been crossing his hands and not speaking, suddenly got up from the makeup stool: "I'm going back to the auditorium."

Chen Nan felt something was wrong, and subconsciously reached out to stop him: "Wait!"

"Brother Yang must be fine, right?" He winked desperately at Yang Sile.

It was only then that Yang Sile realized that in Xie Chen's eyes, his inability to know what to do was like repenting, being too petty, and disrespecting his dedication and trust too much, which was really hurtful.

He looked at it guiltily, then lowered his head embarrassingly, forcing himself to hold back his hiccups.

"Well, I'm fine, I just want to... go to the toilet."

The entrance of the women's room next to the men's room is overcrowded, and there are all familiar faces at a glance:

The No. 1 piano major that hangs on the "Star of Music" bulletin board all the year round; the monitor of class 1 who is in the top three of the national string major; the person in charge of the school radio station, the top ten clarinet major...

Absolutely, there is no one who can fight - no one that he, Yang Sile, can fight.

The girls queuing outside the toilet, waiting for convenience and changing dresses, looked at him boredly, their eyes were mostly curious, nothing else.But Yang Sile still couldn't bear it, so he hurried into the men's toilet in a desperate manner.

The bathroom in the auditorium was luxuriously repaired, comparable to that of a hotel. He got into the innermost compartment and did not leave in a hurry after washing his hands. As soon as the toilet was closed, he sat down and hypnotized himself.

Silently hummed "I'm Really Good" twice, silently recited the lyrics of "Beyond Myself" once, tapped a piece of "No Hesitation" on my thigh, and recalled the excitement and joy of the band's first performance.

Well, it's so inspiring!Just hold the burp down and it's perfect!

As soon as Shi Nian stretched his hands under the faucet, he saw Yang Sile in the mirror pushing open the compartment door, his eyes flashing a heroic and determined look, and hurriedly walked to his side.

It was the first time he saw Yang Sile wearing formal clothes other than school uniforms, ironed black trousers with mid-pleats and a long-sleeved white shirt, the latter buttoned all the way to the top, which happened to be under the rolling Adam's apple.

He also swallowed.

...Don't you?

Yang Sile seemed to have heard what was in his heart, and in the next second he undid the two buttons in one go with the hand that hadn't touched the hand sanitizer, revealing his collarbone as sharp as a knife.

Shi Nian washed the foam off his hands stiffly, and swallowed again.

Yang Sile raised his head and checked the effectiveness of holding his breath to cure hiccups in front of the mirror, and finally found that the classmate next to him was none other than the well-known Chief Shi.

Shi Nian saw that the angle of the clavicle exposed became more and more straight, and suddenly realized that he was fascinated, and immediately looked away, and coughed twice.

Yang Sile withdrew his gaze, straightened his body slowly, and used the movement of tidying up his clothes to open his collar, carefully checking whether there was any foreign matter stuck to his neck.

Empty and clean.

What is Shi Nian looking at?

Shi Nian washed his hands for 3 minutes, and he should leave anyway, but he couldn't move a centimeter away from his feet.

When Yang Sile leaned over to look in the mirror, the curve of the back outlined by the shirt tucked into his trousers was really a little... strong, a little... rare.

For the first time in his life, he really hated that he was gay, he cared so much about the figure and dress of the same sex, and he could be bluffed by two buttons and a shirt.

Yang Sile didn't want so much, he turned and left after washing his hands, showing no interest in Chief Shi Da.In every way.

His mind was full of the game that was about to start, and when he bumped into Chief Shi here, he just used him to cheer himself up: Be courageous!Even if you make a fool of yourself in front of more than 600 people, you must not make a fool of yourself in front of Chief Shi, lest he despise yourself again and again.

Right, that is it!

The hiccup stopped and the sky cleared up, Yang Sile put on his coat and felt that he could do it again.

The stage is only one meter high, the song is only 8 minutes long, and it passes as soon as the eyes are opened and closed. What's the big deal?

Chen Nan, who has the most experience in how to overcome nervousness, also offered a trick: "Brother Yang, when the time comes, just stare at a certain person in the audience, don't think too much, just stare at him."

However, the location was fixed and the lights turned on. Except for the judges and teachers in the first row, Yang Sile couldn't see anyone clearly.He stood in the center of the stage, turned the bamboo flute horizontally, and simply closed his eyes.

He knew that Xie Chen, Chen Nan, and Lin Li were sitting on the far right of the fifth row, and they would listen very carefully. He knew that Mou Xiangfei, who played perfectly, probably had the winning ticket at this moment, and he was going back to the lounge to go to sleep. He knew that Shi Nian, who was playing after him, must be in the waiting area at the moment, watching his silhouette quietly while holding the cello.

He knew that there were countless people who heard the news on the school's Internet and came to see him being hanged and beaten by the bullies waiting for him to roll over.

However, there are always some like him, with mediocre professional achievements, waiting for him to come up with results, adding footnotes to the "all students" written in black and white in the "Registration Instructions" Most of the people who are fighting for breath are present, right?

Yang Sile recalled the panic and sense of absurdity that filled his heart when he participated in a youth musical instrument competition in Beijing two years ago, when he faced the anxious eyes of countless boys and girls younger than him, and the anxious eyes of their parents.

Those parents want to use the seemingly elegant road of music to let their children fall into the same vulgar and smooth road as the protagonists in the first and second movements.

However, there are only a few flute holes, but there are so many pieces of music, and they are all different.

Standing under the dizzyingly bright lights, Yang Sile gradually understood what Xie Chen said about the difference between the protagonist's loneliness in the bustling city and the loneliness in the mountains. How important is the logic of emotion" and "the player's experience".

He must admit that he still knows nothing about music.

After all, it is the work of the first-year high school students. The performance of the first-year high school students, the third movement can't be played on a bigger stage, and even the half-large auditorium of the school can't be crowded.

Yang Sile played with all his strength, and there was no problem in a single section, but the emotional ups and downs and the handling of the scene were still a bit lacking.

In the words of the judges, "the simpler the song, the more it can reflect you as a person." In addition to his solid basic skills, he is a person who learns from the gourd and draws from the gourd, full of a sense of instant learning and selling.For example, the control of body and demeanor, and the emotional rhythmic communication with the audience are completely absent.

The teacher's evaluation was to the point and hit the nail on the head. Yang Sile agreed, but he couldn't help being embarrassed and disappointed.

The audience was lively, everyone chattered and laughed happily, as if they were more enthusiastic about the standard ending in front of them than getting a surprise.

Yang Sile's back was drenched and he couldn't stand still anymore. He pursed his lips and quickly bowed and stepped off the stage as if he was sleepwalking.

It was too bright in front of the scene and too dark behind the scene. He left the stage in the dark while taking off his coat, forgetting that there were still two steps, his eyes couldn't adjust for a while, and he almost fell on the edge of the chaotic console.

Fortunately, someone kindly helped him, so he didn't face the ground even more bitterly.

He drooped his shoulders and unconsciously thanked that person, then he gripped his flute tightly and went to the auditorium to look for Xie Chen and the others.

How to fix this situation?Does an apology work?Will it work to work hard and come back next semester?Can writing a song for Xie Shen can atone for his crime?

Forget it, why don't you listen to Lin Li's cold water in the future, after all, the senior sister has eaten rice for an extra year, and she is still different from a young man like him.

Wait a minute, Lin Li seems to be only four months older than him?According to her eating habit of wanting to use a calculator to count calories every day, the rice in her stomach is probably less than that of Xie Chen.

Yang Sile thought about it in a mess, until the sound of the cello resounded in the auditorium, he slowly recalled that the person who kindly helped him just now seemed to be Shi Nian?

He stood in the aisle on the far right of the auditorium and looked back. Shi Nianduan, who was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, was sitting in the center of the stage and had already played the fourth movement of Elgar's Cello Concerto in E Minor.

Unlike his Adagio, Shi Nianxuan's movement is an Allegro, and the contrast between them is almost obvious.

Shi Nian lowered his head slightly, looking intently at his cello, with five fingers on his left hand flying up and down, as if playing with the strings, so relaxed that it was hard to watch.

The audience fell silent, and within a minute they were brought into the scene. Only a few people hid behind the front seats and went to the WeChat group and Xiaonei website with two signals, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" .

Yang Sile saw that Shi Nian was set off by the dazzling lights and the dark brown cello like a falling snowflake, and a trace of self-pity arose in his heart that he had never felt before.

Chief Shi is so powerful, he is followed by all kinds of fiery eyes every day, surrounded by flowers and applause, and he can't remember that a small role like him should be, should be.

The emotions ended, and the movement entered a soothing second half. Yang Sile was tired from standing, and lost interest in looking for Xie Chen and the others.

Holding his Chinese tunic jacket in one hand and the bamboo flute in the other, he raised his feet and walked towards the high exit, wanting to get some fresh air and sweat outside.

However, with the last step left before the gate, the music reverberating in the auditorium suddenly muted an eighth note.

Soon, before most of the students could react, the cello continued to produce music, but something was very wrong.

It can even be said that it is all wrong.

Yang Sile had listened to Elgar's Cello Concerto in E Minor a few times before, and he couldn't remember the specific melody and rhythm very clearly, but he knew the feeling of the piece.It is by no means broken and radical like it is now.

He looked back at the stage in surprise, but Shi Nian on the stage made mistakes as if he didn't realize it.

More and more people in the audience discovered his ridiculously high frequency of mistakes, and even the judges and teachers could not help but frowned and whispered to each other.

Yang Sile didn't know what happened to Shi Nian. Some kind of intuition told him that Shi Nian had been giving up on himself since the missing eighth note.

But why did he give up on himself? Didn't he pull well in front?what happened?

The accident came too fast and too violent.

The principal cellist of the Qingjiang Yinzhong Symphony Orchestra and the first grader of the string major, unexpectedly performed a mistake in the final exhibition that was most unlikely to go wrong.

Still not a small mistake.

The fourth movement of "Cello Concerto in E Minor" is just over 1 minutes long. From the beginning of the diminutive at the ninth minute and 20 seconds, Shi Nian is completely in chaos. Who would believe it?

The Xiaonei Internet exploded, and those who were at the scene were full of question marks on twitter, and those who were not at the scene lamented their blood loss one after another, begging everywhere for the video of the chief's overturned car.

Yang Sile was even more confused. Shi Nian was originally Mou Xiangfei's most competitive opponent in the same award, so Mou Xiangfei's 8000 yuan bonus is simply not too exciting...

He had reason to suspect that Shi Nian wanted to hand over the money to Mu Xiangfei, whose family was not so well off, so he deliberately played the fake piano.

Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to understand why Shi Nian was able to play the piece that got a high score just two days ago to the way it is tonight.

Shi Nian's face was the same, he should bow, he should accept doubts, even if he heard his class teacher accuse him of being "impetuous" and "frivolous" in a disappointed tone, he didn't have any extra expressions, and kept looking down at the floor .

This time it was Yang Sile who couldn't move.

From a distance, he noticed that Shi Nian's right hand, which was not holding the violin and bow, was abnormally carried behind his back, exactly the same as when he deliberately asked him to guess which hand the gadget was hidden in before, and the tricky one was always the right hand.

He didn't do it on purpose... He didn't do it on purpose.Yang Sile was suddenly convinced.

The teachers had nothing to say, and the comments were pushed and passed, and it ended in a hurry. Shi Nian bowed slowly, turned and stepped down.

Yang Sile remembered the hand that was holding his arm in the darkness just now, and immediately panicked, and ran towards the waiting area.

It's finally over.

The long eleven minutes and 20 seconds are finally over.

But the really terrible thing has not yet kicked off, they are waiting not far away with their teeth and claws waving.

Shi Nian walked out of the audience's sight with his piano in hand, ignoring the greetings from the show host and the control officer, and striding across the messy cables, eager to leave this place that was about to expose the secret he had painstakingly kept for a whole year .

It was too bright in front of the scene and too dark behind the scene. While shaking his hands to unbutton his shirt, he left in the dark, forgetting that there were two more steps. His eyes couldn't adjust for a while, and he almost fell over the chaotic console.

Fortunately, someone kindly helped him, so he didn't fall into the abyss with his beloved cello in embarrassment.

The man grabbed his piano with one hand, and firmly hugged his shoulder with the other hand, panting and whispering something in his ear.

Shi Nian collapsed on this man's chest exhausted, his tinnitus continued, he couldn't hear his words clearly, he could only smell the familiar, warm, moist scent that belonged to a certain boy.

In an instant, hot tears welled up in his eyes uncontrollably, he frowned, tightly clutched the fabric under his palm, trembling and screaming silently.

Yang Sile desperately tried to pull him up, Shi Nian desperately fell down, and the two maintained their hugging posture and wrestled with each other.

"Take it for me, please, thank you."

Yang Sile handed over the cello and flute to the officer who stayed aside and didn't dare to act rashly, and immediately passed Shi Nian's armpit with his free hands, bringing him to a height where he could meet his eyes.

"Shi Nian, Shi Nian!" He stared into Shi Nian's eyes, called Shi Nian's name, and at the same time focused on relaxing Shi Nian's tense muscles and helping him stop his unnatural twitching.

"Shi Nian, what's wrong with you? Talk!"

The next student started to play. Shi Nian's eyes were slack, his lips were fluttering, and his voice was like mosquitoes, and he couldn't hear clearly at all.

Yang Sile was so anxious that he touched his forehead directly.No fever.Then he stuck his palm into his skinny and wet back.No allergies either.

In my impression, Shi Nian has been sick since childhood, but he is by no means weak.What else could be the reason?

He lowered his head and kicked away the debris on the ground, carefully sat down on the curtain dragged to the ground, and let Shi Nian lean on himself to slowly adjust his breathing and state.

"What happened, huh?"

Yang Sile wrapped Shi Nian's wrists with his left hand, leaned over and put his chin against his forehead, and coaxed softly, "It's okay, it's okay, Niannian, tell brother, what's wrong with you?"

The panic attack was so fierce that Shi Nian couldn't control himself. In the chaos of consciousness, the only thing he could think of was the diazepam he had hidden in the cello case.

The sooner the curtain rises the better.

He trembled and raised his head slightly, his lips brushed against the man's ear.

"Medicine... take medicine..."

With a hoarse voice, he tried his best to ask for help with some reservations.

You need to take medicine when you are sick.

Shi Nian is sick.

Surprised, Yang Sile seemed to have returned to the night when he was beaten for the first time.For a moment, for some reason, he felt that he was the culprit of today's situation.

Shi Nian actually didn't know anything, he just listened to brother Yangyang very much, drank a bag of soy milk, and when he woke up again, everything had changed.

None of them knew anything about it.