when we kiss the blade

The ceiling of the cubicle seemed to be shocked too, and there was a dull thud from above.In great contrast to my surprise was the calm and gentle expression on Luo Hua's face. Although the room was small, his eyes looked far away, as if he had seen another time and space. He continued to shock my hearing and said:

"May'er's mother is from Karan. She was only 18 years old and became a smuggler to avoid debts. In fact, the empire and the country of Karan have had many contacts in private. How can it be possible for two countries separated by a strip of water to be completely separated and have no Communication, but the people above are unwilling to cause disputes. It has been 60 years since that war, she has not experienced it, and neither have I.”

"But if she told me that she was a Karan, I would stay away from her, but she didn't. Until I saw the fire pattern on her back, she didn't dare to turn on the light, let alone let me see it." Her body, she said she was shy, I believed it, but the moment she revealed her identity, her body trembled like a wounded chick, her eyes were filled with fear and fear, and tears quickly fell from the corners of her eyes. Begging me all the time, but in fact she did nothing wrong... At that time, I really felt the pain of family and country, which was far more real than those cold statistics. In a nutshell, the damage is permanent, and it is as cruel as bloodshed on the battlefield, if not more cruel."

I took a deep breath, and it is completely conceivable that as a ruler, this is a hundred times more painful than ordinary people.I said, "But you forgave her anyway."

He nodded and said calmly: "I can't be so cruel to her. I carefully hid her by my side. After forgiving, I feel that she is no different from ordinary people. On the contrary, I have to comfort her all the time." Nationality is nothing. Karan was an alliance with the empire a long time ago. But she has been brooding about it and can't let it go. Maybe, it's really a woman's mind is more delicate. After she became pregnant, she moved out of the presidential palace. My belly was bulging day by day, and I had nothing in my mind except excitement, and I didn’t think about anything, and then I found out that she was secretly crying every day, pretending to be very happy in front of me.”

"There was no sign at all that day. I went to see her after the meeting. The child had been delivered safely. The mother and child were safe. She had a lateral cut, and when the child came out, sweating profusely in pain, she grabbed the scissors from the doctor's hand and stabbed herself. She died on the spot. When the doctor told me, she was still shaking. She was so frightened that it was impossible for a person to commit suicide when the pain was so severe. When I went, the body was already cold. , I just lay motionless on the bed, the child was born, I didn’t feel anything at all, suddenly there was only that little ball left as an adult.”

"May'er's identity was given by Loli. I thought that was the best result, but then I realized that I was wrong. They were not worth entrusting at all. With Mayfair, they began to use her to threaten me and take me Step by step to a desperate situation. They never love Mayfair as a daughter. Since she was very young, Mayfair has not been close to them. Whenever she has a chance, she will go to my place. Seeing her smiling so happily makes me feel so sad Want to shed tears, her mother is suffering enough, I hope she can be really happy, like a little princess, spoiled by me to heaven, but I can't, I learned that they often lose their temper with Mayfair All my anger was transferred to her. Mayfair also has her mother's stubbornness in her bones. She won't give in at all, so she invites more abuse. These are all told by the old housekeeper in the Lolly family, ordinary people My daughter has everything, she has nothing, the room is empty, I cried at that time, I couldn't control the tears from falling..."

Hearing this, I don't know what to say.I had no choice but to give him a tissue box, and comforted me: "Fei'er is very cheerful, and she doesn't care about the people over there anymore."

He regained his emotions and nodded: "So after the media exposure, Luo Li's reputation has been ruined, and Mayfair can justifiably change her environment."

I interrupted, "But you still can't support her."

"Indeed," he could only smile wryly, and said, "Although I can't, you should be able to, and I've asked Mayfair, she wants to stay by your side most, not to mention, you don't have a child, you need a child."

Hearing this sentence, I coughed twice in embarrassment: "Are you not worried at all, will our... this special status bring burdens to the children in the future?"

From now on, when Mayfair arrives at school and is pointed behind her back, and then goes home to cry to me, I can't stand women's tears, especially the tears of little women...

He smiled knowingly: "These are irrelevant, you have to have confidence in yourself."

When it comes to having confidence in myself, I am very puzzled. This time I went to Kalan country, and it is a problem whether I can come back. Why is he so sure that I have the luck to take Mayfair away? Daddy, I'm back, and the matter of taking the child... I should discuss it with Xu Shaoting, otherwise, what if this guy thinks Fei'er is my illegitimate child raised outside?

I teased my tone: "Since you want me to take risks, and give me the jewel in your palm, you are not afraid that I will die in Karan? Besides, why did you choose me? My hands and feet have become blunt this year..."

He shook his head, disapprovingly: "Other people can be sent on routine missions, because they are used to obeying commands, but once they lose orders, they start to feel at a loss. I don't think it's useful to send them to carry out such missions with no direction and no command... ...But you are different, your previous missions have a lot of freedom, most of your actions are self-actions, you have an advantage over them in this regard, and they have too much military training, and it is easy to hold back doubts."

"..." I had nothing to say.

In the end, he put his hand firmly on my shoulder, as if encouraging, but his voice was unexpectedly soft: "In any case, you have to complete the task and come back safely."

I separated his hand and said angrily, "I hope I'm safe, don't give me such a dangerous task."

He was startled, he didn't expect me to get angry, his face turned pale, and then something called hatred appeared in his eyes, he sneered: "That's because... this is the price you paid for not choosing me, if you are willing to stay with me , I will find someone to replace you, but right now, I don't want to."

I also said coldly, "Do you know why I didn't choose you?"

His face was cold, as if he was repelling people thousands of miles away.

I stood up, looked back at him, and said in a condensed voice, "Because... the person who made me risk my life is not worth my choice at all."

I will never forget that day after telling the truth to Xu Shaoting, the look he looked at me was too complicated to describe in words, but I understand the feelings in it.

We didn't quarrel, and he didn't insist on keeping me by his side, because it was my choice. He ignored my feelings before, but this time he wanted to respect my decision, but this happened.

Good luck tricks people.

And Luo Hua, forgive me for not being able to understand his selfish possessiveness.

His voice came clearly behind me:

"Song Kai, be careful."

I punched the wall and walked quickly downstairs.