when we kiss the blade

Cars stuck in traffic during rush hour are like sardines in a can, hopeless.I looked at my watch, turned on the stereo, lit a cigarette, and the sky slowly darkened.

The current life makes me feel in a trance. When I close my eyes, those bloody images are still so clear, but they have lost a sense of reality.

Perhaps, leaving Nanfeng is the right choice.

When the car drove a little forward, it was already pouring rain outside the window.

I still stayed at Zhao Chengwei's house, and he was determined not to let me go, and I didn't bother to find another place to live, anyway, it's the same wherever I live.

I'm very surprised that he didn't hear my footsteps today. In the past, he opened the door early for me. After I went in, I heard a moan.

I felt a kind of fear vigilantly. The voice came from his bedroom, so familiar.I quietly opened his door, only a thin crack - I saw a nightmare.

The men and women on the screen are making out, that familiar voice.

And he watched intently, and reacted, masturbating.

I felt my whole body trembling, every pore contracted, and an indescribable emotion erupted in my chest.I rushed in and knocked him down on the bed with one punch. He was too involved to dodge. I punched him hard again, grabbed his collar, and the veins on his forehead bulged: "You pervert!"

It never occurred to me that he would peek at that tape!

I couldn't face him calmly anymore. His expression of concentration while watching the video made the hairs stand on end. No wonder I was allowed to move out. It turned out that the seeds had been secretly planted in my heart.

only friend.

What else can I do but be angry?

He was so beaten that he couldn't speak at all, and his eyes were full of madness when he looked at me.

As soon as I turned off the display, my hands were shaking.

"Zhao Chengwei, I have endured you for a long time! Tell you, it's over between us!" I shouldn't live here, with this pervert!I couldn't help myself, I just went wild like a wild animal, and there was nothing I could do.He relaxed a little, stood up, and looked at me without saying a word.

I was really angry: "Are you fucking dumb?! Talk! It's very cool to watch, isn't it? You wanted to watch this stuff a long time ago, didn't you? It's none of your business if I fuck women! Pervert!"

He still didn't speak, he put on his pants slowly, his movements were mechanical as if he had lost his soul, walked up to me, and suddenly knelt down!

As if my brain exploded in an instant, he began to plead: "Song Kai, I'm sorry... I really can't help myself. Every night I think of you, your face, your body, you are like a shadow. If you don't leave, I have no choice... That time when you said that you were raped by a man, I wanted to rush over and chop those people into pieces! How dare they treat you like this!"

I looked at him with wide eyes, the crazy tone made me wonder if I was dreaming.But the overwhelming emotion in my chest reminded me that it was all true.

I leaned over, squeezed his chin, and said in a sharp and indifferent voice, "What about you? What's the difference between you and them? You're always obsessed with me in your heart, and you still pretend to be a good friend. You say , if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes today, how long would you still be sick of me?”

He was short of breath, his face was flushed, and he looked straight at me: "I will keep pretending! I will pretend to be good! It was you, you ruined all this. I would do anything for you, die Yes, too. Why don't you give me this chance?!"

The fuck is asking me back?

I slapped him hard, and my voice was furious: "Who wants you to die for me? Give you another chance? Give you a chance to fuck me? Whenever you lose your mind and go crazy, just drug me!"

I found it so ridiculous that I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Seeing me laughing weirdly, he hugged my leg and cried out: "Song Kai, I was wrong! I was wrong! Don't do this, don't scare me! It's my fault and I'll die! I will definitely Stay away from you, don't be like this..."

I pushed him away hard, ripped off my clothes, without thinking: "Come on, come on, don't you think about how to fuck me every night? Why don't you dare to fuck me now? I'm right here, right in front of you , do it in the pose you like, don’t you want to go crazy?!”

I don't think he's the only one going crazy.

His emotions completely broke down, and he said hoarsely: "I beg you not to do this, you kill me, I am so disgusting, you kill me!" I broke his hand, turned around and left, not angry, but sad.

After going out, I realized that I didn't take anything, and the heavy rain didn't mean to stop at all, and it was hearty.I kept running, just wanting to escape from that place, until my whole body lost all strength, and no images could emerge in my brain, it was an oxygen-deprived emptiness.I stopped, put my hands on my knees, gasped heavily, the rain blurred my vision into a blurred light and shadow, and looked up at the city again, the huge grief in my chest rose like a tide.

Why……

Why is this happening?

I took a breath and straightened up, I couldn't open my eyes at all due to a bright light.

The car stopped, the man got out of the car, walked up to me and said: "You don't want to live anymore?!" I was pulled hard by him, and I was pulled out by him several steps. I broke free and said angrily: "Xu Shaoting! Don't worry about it!" My life!"

His face was hidden in the night, and the rain quickly drenched his whole body. His strength was terrific, he forced me into the car, and slammed the car door, not giving me a chance to get out of the car.

I let out a heavy breath, and turned to look at him, with indifference and sarcasm in my eyes, my deep eyes fixed on the road ahead, and after a long time, I said lightly: "I don't care what happened to you, before the end of your agreement , you don’t have the right to die.” Glancing out of the corner of the eye, he threw a towel, “Wipe clean.”

After wiping, I regained some sanity and said solemnly, "Sorry, it's a private matter."

He is still indifferent: "Break in love?"

"I don't have a girlfriend."

He drove steadily, with no emotion in his voice: "Do you know why I cooperate with you?"

"Why?" I don't know.

He smiled: "Because of the blood and madness in his bones, he is just like a lunatic."

I was silent, and he didn't speak. The atmosphere in the car was awkward.

I fumbled for cigarettes in the trunk of the car, but I couldn't find it for a long time.He noticed it, found it casually, and handed me the cigarette.I nodded tremblingly, took a sip, and my mind was a little erratic, when I suddenly heard his very soft voice: "It's quite similar to me."

"I hate this feeling."

"But you can't change it."

There was another long silence.

The rain kept falling from the windows.

"What are you thinking, thinking about life?" He was a little playful.

I suddenly asked: "You said, would you like a man?"

He paused, and his tone became more playful: "You want to seduce me?"

"..." I looked away in embarrassment: "You think too much, I didn't mean that."

He nodded knowingly, and chuckled lightly: "If I wasn't driving, I would beat you up."

"Me too."