Who allowed me to live like a dream

Ren Xiaoxu's voice was gentle and deep, and a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth, which was slightly charming.In his hand, he was reading a book that was not thin or thick, probably it was the company's business.

The light blue plastic case of the file folder spread out lazily, like a tired eagle in flight, obediently bowing its head and surrendering to the hunter's arm.The sunlight came in from the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the light cast on the surface of a set of English porcelain cups on the coffee table in front of him.A fiery red rose was painted on the snow-white cup of the porcelain cup, just like the corners of his mouth that he raised at will, charming and suffocating.

He's been getting busier lately.

Gu Jiachen tightly pinched the briefcase with his fingers, and his eyes were foggy under the sun.He asked Ren Xiaoxu a question in a calm and steady voice.The voice was low and hoarse, not at all like himself, as if he was a war reporter who had just experienced an explosion. After witnessing the bloody massacre, he developed a calmness beyond the tolerance and understanding of ordinary people's nerves.

"Xiao Xu, do you know that my mother is in a business partnership with someone?"

Ren Xiaoxu still looked at him lazily, and then lowered his head to continue browsing the information.He put down the cup with two porcelain-white fingers, picked up a page, and turned it over.

"I know, didn't you tell me the other night?"

Gu Jiachen clenched his hands tightly into fists, and when he heard "there was a night ago", his body trembled visibly.

That night, Ren Xiaoxu said "I love you" for the first time in his life.Not "I like you", not "my darling", but "I love you."

Gu Jiachen always felt that all the good things in his life were concentrated in that night.There is no confusion of worldly affairs, no fame and fortune in life and death, no hindrance, no drag, no use, no play, no worry... nothing, nothing.Some were just him and his loved ones.They faced each other frankly, they confide their hearts to their heart's content, they caressed each other, they embraced each other and fell asleep, at that moment it seemed that the world did not exist.

He always felt that he could be like the poem wrote:

Love like you've never been hurt.

Dance like no one appreciates.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Sing like no one is listening.

Work like you don't need money.

Live like today is the end.

He thought he could, could withstand all the hardships that reality gave him... Could it be that that day was really their end?

"I'm asking you, when did you first know... When did you start planning this matter?"

Ren Xiaoxu pretended to be stupid and said, "Plan? What plan do I have?"

Gu Jiachen said with a wry smile: "Don't lie to me, I don't believe that my father can be promoted for no reason like this, I don't believe that my mother will suddenly pick up this opportunity to make a fortune, and I don't believe it either, now, my cousin , will say those inexplicable things to my family members without your order. Tell me, if I don't ask, do you really want to add officials and ranks to all the people in my family? Are you really You want to match my two older sisters with golden tortoise husbands...you...what are your plans?"

Ren Xiaoxu didn't rush to answer the conversation, but turned his head sideways to think for a while, and then slowly asked Gu Jiachen: "Is this not good?"

Gu Jiachen felt as if there was a rush of energy in his body, and he had to hold it back very hard to hold it back.

"Of course not! What do you think I am? Is the family stepping on the chips to climb up?"

Ren Xiaoxu thought for a while, and said: "It's not me who thinks so. Your family thinks so. Isn't your cousin very obvious? I hope that the relationship with your younger brother will continue, so that the Gu family can live a good life." day."

"It doesn't need to be like this! We can get the life we ​​want with our own abilities! Please don't worry about it!"

Gu Jiachen transformed into his appearance in court, every sentence was so sonorous, it sounded strangely moving, official and childish.It's like an inspirational story that is very fake but can attract the attention of others.

"The thing I hate the most in my life is to be treated like an object and sold for a price. I don't want my beloved to be like this...put a label on me, put a clear price on it, and take what I can afford Come on, that bothers me so much!"

"Who said money will buy you? I never thought of that..."

"Then why do you do such a thing!"

"Of course money can't buy you... But it doesn't mean that money can't solve your family. They are different from you. They will be very happy if they can exchange a younger brother or a son for these real benefits."

"They won't be happy!" Gu Jiachen's voice became a little sharper, "I know what you think... Either take the money and hand me over to you, and don't interfere with our relationship; or, you won't get any money, To be promoted is wishful thinking, and the future is dark. You want them to choose—you want to force them to choose between the two!"

Ren Xiaoxu continued to stare at his profile, and said without any ups and downs, "Since you know, why are you asking me?"

"Ren Xiaoxu... not all the problems in this world can be solved with money! Emotional problems can't be solved, nor can conceptual problems! They don't accept homosexuality, they don't accept me being with a man, Never get married, never have children... They can't accept it, no matter how much money they give! Such a concept is deeply rooted in their hearts, just like Hui people don't eat pork, Muslims don't drink... You can't use money to go Change their perception!"

Gu Jiachen spoke eloquently.He was a little agitated, his chest rose and fell violently, and he had to breathe heavily to maintain stability.

Ren Xiaoxu said without raising his head: "I appreciate your reductive absurdity method (to refute the opponent's point of view by exaggerating a fact to the point of absurdity). However, I don't want to change a national belief. , nor is it to change the atmosphere and thinking habits of a society... I am not that stupid, and I am not that capable. I just want to change your family... It is not a change. I just want them to accept Our feelings, no matter whether they support or oppose it. This matter is not difficult. How many people do you have in your family? Your father, your mother, your sister, plus your uncles at most... With such a small number of people, Whether it can be solved with money, we will only know if we try it.”

As Ren Xiaoxu spoke, his eyes suddenly flashed sharply.

He finally put down the folder, patted the sofa next to him, and motioned Gu Jiachen to sit next to him.Gu Jiachen stood there straight, motionless.You could tell he was angry, the veins in his head were throbbing.But he is used to forbearance, even if he gets angry again, he will not be very excited.

Seeing that he couldn't come over, Ren Xiaoxu felt a little hairy, raised one leg and kicked the coffee table in front of him, stood up, put his hands in his trouser pockets and walked towards Gu Jiachen.He walked up to Gu Jiachen, stretched out a hand to press his head, pressed his ear to his mouth, and said one word at a time:

"Retainer, I said that I love you, so I believe you... This doesn't mean that I will love my family and trust your family, especially people like your cousin!"

Gu Jiachen only felt a strong air pressure approaching his ears, every word of Ren Xiaoxu's words hit his body like a heavy hammer, and hit his heart.Gu Jiachen felt as if he was in a deep water area, and the boundless sea water squeezed the only trace of air left in his body, so oppressive that he almost couldn't breathe.

Ren Xiaoxu mentioned his cousin, which made him very scared.His body trembled slightly, his hands slowly and unconsciously climbed up to Ren Xiaoxu's neckline, pulled his collar, and his breathing became rapid.

"You promised...you wouldn't do anything to my cousin..."

"I didn't do anything to him...he is living very well now!"

"Don't... order him to do strange things, don't... use him..."

"It was he who cried and begged to do things for me! This plan is also a treasure he gave me."

Ren Xiaoxu softly confided some truths.Maybe it's not the truth, Gu Family Chen couldn't tell the difference for a while.

He was a little surprised, he suddenly found that his heart was not very firm.He even started to waver...

He found that he could tolerate his cousin, whether he used himself or hurt himself, he could tolerate and forgive, because he was his relative.However, it only stops at tolerance.Under that thin layer of tolerance, the trust between brothers has disappeared.

When he was beaten, after hearing those words; when his cousin urged him to "contribute to the Gu family", this trust has slowly faded.

In the past, in the past, what an admirable big brother he was... Big brother, he lost his dream, his arrogance, his youth, and everything he wanted early in the morning.He carried the burden of the family.Every day when I get up early and work late at night, the boss at the top, the staff at the bottom, the first thing I do when I open my eyes is to think about why I can't grow three heads and six arms.After returning home, he has to face a married wife, and he is always worried about being involved in some trouble...

He was there alone, governing the country and the world, standing up and practicing the way, and making his name known to later generations, so as to show off his parents.Not only did he want to show off his parents, but he also wanted to show off his whole family.How lonely must he be?How powerless should it be?He also has regrets and entanglements in his heart?Will he secretly shed tears in the dark night when no one is there?

Gu Jiachen really felt sorry for his cousin.At the end of the hard work, he even lost the trust of his most precious relatives.He has become a scheming political figure whose only ideas are "Come on, join my side, we help each other" and "Fuck off, you are my enemy, we fight each other".

No...you can't think like this!Gu Jiachen bit his lower lip and desperately reminded himself that his family and this person in front of him was his whole world.There are conflicts between them, but they cannot start a war. Once a war starts, to him, it is tantamount to a world war.He hated to see anyone on either side get hurt.He would rather be scarred.

He, like all homosexuals, will adopt a method for his sexual orientation, which is to hide it.He does not have enlightened parents, nor does he have a wide range of people who accept homosexuality, and there is no law to protect same-sex marriage... He is a minority, he is weak, he is powerless to resist and cannot struggle... So, how long can he hide it?There is no choice.

He can be an underground party for the rest of his life, as long as he can be with Ren Xiaoxu.The family's blessing is an extravagant wish, he doesn't yearn for it; Ren Xiaoxu thinks it's difficult for him not to get married all his life, he doesn't ask for it; there won't be a next generation between the two of them, he doesn't force it.

I could drop it all, everything for you!But, but why don't you want to?