Who allowed me to live like a dream

The night was deep and the air was quiet, Ji Zetong could hear the ticking of the hands of his watch.The wine bottle with treacherous light and shadow in his hand has bottomed out, but his mind is still clear, only mixed with a trace of physical lethargy.

Ji Zetong drank very slowly this time.When he finished the bottle of vodka, Gu Jiachen had already fallen asleep on the sofa next to him.His emaciated body was curled up like a cat.

There was a broken coffee cup lying on the ground, which was accidentally broken by Gu Jiachen.The snow-white tiles are like snow lotuses blooming in the dark night, blooming on the low-key but gorgeous floor, and are solitary and torn apart.No one to clean up.

They talked for a long time.It's just a simple exchange of a few words, and it's about Youyou's affection, he has feelings for Ren Xiaoxu, and Gu's servants have feelings for Ren Xiaoxu.Because I really don't know how to talk.However, their non-essential questions really eased the depression in Ji Zetong's heart.

Sometimes you just need a chance to talk, regardless of whether the other party understands or not.As for Gu Jiachen, Ji Zetong felt that he should understand, but he couldn't intervene.His courage is too small, his world is too narrow, so that he has no idea why a relationship that has been waiting for eight years has come to this day.He would only ask cautiously, "Oh? Is that so? How could this be?"

A gray coat was covering him, and the temperature of the air conditioner was well controlled. Ji Zetong was sweating a lot, but he didn't feel hot.He was already a little clueless about hot and cold, and he didn't know what year it was.Close your eyes, Ren Xiaohuai's smile is so dazzling.The child was so young that he stayed in the incubator during the banquet, Ren Xiaohuai only held him out and shook him when toasting.

Ji Zetong didn't even know why he went.Ren Xiaohuai told him, "I want you to see the child", and he went there like a demon.Hiding in a corner, watching his breezy young master clumsily hugging the little baby as he shuttled among a group of elders.He heard overwhelming praise, and heard that the child had a very good life and fortune, and he would come back after all his money was gone.

Looking at Ren Xiaohuai's happy appearance, he felt that the world was far away in an instant.He had never seen his expression like that, as if all the happiness in the world belonged to him, but such a satisfied expression was not given by himself.

It was also at that moment that he suddenly felt a sense of distance.After the farewell, I don't know how far you are, how desolate and boring you are.After eight years of isolation, there was no news of his disappearance, and I was immersed in a fragmented dream, trying to grasp that vague figure.Every night sleeping alone in the quilt, Ji Zetong would fantasize about their future.If they hadn't separated, if Ren Xiaohuai hadn't left, or if he had come back soon, what would have happened to them?

For a romantic person like Ji Zetong, his fantasy about the future is actually very simple.They were together, they had plenty of money, they traveled the world together, until they couldn't move, until they died of old age, and finally they were buried together.

One pair for life people.This is what Ji Zetong fantasizes about.

Ji's garden is filled with their laughter.The red bean tree in the southeast corner, the Taihu stone in the rockery, the peony by the Huaxi River...the melodious singing voice and graceful posture, Yun Xiang's clothes and flowers' appearance, and the spring breeze blowing through Revlon.He is his actor, he is his audience.One performance, one appreciation, mutual consent, you and me.

But the reality is blindly deviated from.

He returned with his beautiful wife and beautiful family.Now I can have fun again.He seemed to lead a different kind of life, separated by a river of time.The world of two that Ji Zetong had fantasized about has come to naught, and the simple desire to travel around the world turned into empty talk.

He once did not hesitate to risk death just to see him.After meeting, endless lovesickness overshadowed everything.The sexual intercourse again is so intense, the clouds and rain turn back to night, the fireworks turn into spring and fall, he knows that the reality has changed beyond recognition, he is willing to hide in a corner, hide behind him, hide in the shadows that people can't see, and help others All the scenery, and the endless lingering after others.

After recovering, he realized that he could be happy in another world.

what am iJi Zetong couldn't help asking.For so many years, you were my everything to me.But what am I to you?An old person who was lost and found, or an old dream that was lost and returned?

Ren Xiaohuai's words kept echoing in his ears.

"What do you want? What do you want?"

"I want us to be together."

"We're already together! We're together, aren't we? I don't go home now, I'm here with you every day. I haven't gone to see my wife, she's pregnant and I haven't even gone back to her! I'm here every day I'm with you all... Don't you think it's enough? What more do you want!"

"It's not like this..." Ji Zetong could not help distinguishing.You don't understand what I'm talking about, it's not that you don't come home, what I want is that here, where I am, is your home.

Why don't you understand?Why do you think you owe me?I didn't break up with my family to burden you... Why do you feel pressured?How can you feel that you can't bear it?How... how did you become such a man?

There was so much noise that Ji Zetong didn't know what to say in the end, so he could only smash the things in the house to pieces.Everything he bought for him was smashed to pieces by Ji Zetong, almost tearing down the house.

Ren Xiaohuai was at a loss at first, but later, he became unbelievable.He watched Ji Zetong lose his temper, looked at him like an angry little lion, and the sound of shattering glass was like a horn, blowing the flames of war all over the ground.He didn't understand why this man would suddenly break away from his arm and jump up when he was lingering, and then lost his temper without warning.

What more do you want?Ren Xiaohuai thought helplessly.He is very smart and mature, and he can complete the tasks his father entrusted to him even under the pressure of a group of old ministers.But in front of the one he loves, he loses his rationality, his IQ drops to zero, and he has no way of doing anything.

Ji Zetong smashed the last cup, and fell down on the only intact sofa, looking at him exhausted.Ren Xiaohuai walked over with a wry smile and opened his arms towards him.

"Finish? Go to sleep for a while when you're done. Come, I'll hold you."

He said so.It looked like coaxing a naughty child.

Ren Xiaohuai looked like a father.Ji Zetong closed his eyes and thought, the arms that were open to him had already embraced another child not long ago.

Jealousy passed through Ji Zetong's body like an electric current, and the pain spread like a tide.Weeds finally grew in the empty heart, and the expected apple tree did not blossom and bear fruit. It had not seen the sun for many years, and it was already full of bugs.

"You don't come here...you leave me alone." Ji Zetong said while pressing his head, the surroundings were silent, Ren Xiaohuai could only nod obediently, watching him stumble out the door.

"Where are you going?" Ren Xiaohuai shouted at him standing at the door, "It's getting dark, you haven't had dinner yet..."

Hearing his voice, Ji Zetong suddenly found it funny.He felt that their relationship was on the verge of collapse, and the man only cared about whether he had dinner or not.

Has everything really changed?

Ji Zetong felt like a guinea pig in a maze, he finally reached the end, only to find that he was still on the wrong path, and what awaited him at the end were electrodes symbolizing punishment.He thought he was walking the Yangguan Avenue, but found that he was still lost after all.

If you don't understand what your lover thinks, love is blind and lost.

Gu Jiachen slept soundly.Happy people sleep well and soundly.Ji Zetong walked into the cloakroom involuntarily, and saw a large pile of snow-white pockets with double C's painted on the floor, dazzling in the dim light.A long time ago, he always thought that people who walked in and out of famous brand stores with pockets on their hands were very stupid.It is only now that I realize what a luxury it is to be able to shop with satisfaction.An empty heart cannot be filled no matter how many numbers are crossed off the card, no matter how many teacups are smashed, it cannot be filled.

Blind saving can only make people fall from one abyss to another, boundless and bottomless, until they are smashed to pieces.Using one kind of pain to cover up another kind of pain, the long night is like an entangled snake, performing a strong self-deception.

Half-drunk, people sleep for the first time.Ji Zetong picked up his coat, took one last look at the sleeping man's face, stepped over the shards of porcelain cups on the ground, and went out the door.

The cold wind in November is bitter, and it hurts people's skin in the cold night.Ji Zetong wrapped his coat and lit a cigarette in the night wind.The sky is already dark, it is the deepest darkness before dawn, no stars, no moon, no tenderness.

The city of Peony was silent, only the cigarette burning in the hand lit the fire, flickering on and off.The city was covered with gorgeous brocade quilts, and Ji Zetong walked out, his body light and light as if he was stepping on cotton.He hasn't slept well for a long time.

It has been three days since he ran away from Ren Xiaohuai. For the first two days, he got drunk in the bar and fought with someone. Halfway through the fight, he remembered that person's face, that honest, academic face, a little helpless and tired.What would he think?Why are you fighting?What's wrong with them, no one provoked you... How did you become what you are now, so bad, so...

Ji Zetong walked into a new bar silently. The night owls were still carnivaling. The stage lights were extremely dazzling.He asked for a glass of "tomorrow", and the boss mixed one part of Absolut Vodka, one part of rum, one part of tequila, one part of brandy, one part of gin, one part of whiskey and one part of Erguotou.

The wine handed over was a fantasy and magnificent purple. The boss smiled and said to him, drink this glass of wine in one gulp, and you will see tomorrow.