that love, that youth

I almost forgot what happened when I was young.They are like pebbles that have been polished by the years, sinking heavily in the mud of the deep sea, looming, vaguely present.I have no way of remembering what kind of pattern and color it is, and I can't find it.

Sometimes, for some things, it would be good to forget them completely, but they are deeply ingrained in the memory, as hazy as the fog outside the window in winter, which cannot be erased or seen clearly, nor can it be forgotten or remembered.

Until one afternoon after a long sleep, these memories seemed to be revived suddenly at a certain moment, like the grass in the early spring, gradually full of greenness inch by inch, and the rain in late spring again, in every strand, not too big or too small , but just wet this forgotten wasteland, so that those mottled greens finally join hands to grow into a wanton grassland.

That afternoon, with the sun setting in the west, the first thing that jumped into my mind was a name: Zeng Xiaowu, and with it, there was a silly girl who wrote the name stroke by stroke. Picture of white paper.

This name has appeared countless times, mixed in all my joys and sorrows.I remember that there was a time when the weather was good or bad, and the change of seasons was no longer natural, but controlled by this humble name.

When it is happy, the flowers are in full bloom in spring, and the sun is scorching hot in summer. When it is sad, everything is bleak in winter, and it is dark clouds in the rainy season.As for how I escaped from its claws, I don't want to think about it, just like I don't want to mention the feeling of labor pain after giving birth.

He was my first love.

Not everyone has a beautiful and memorable first love. On the contrary, more first loves give bottomless pain and even change people's lives.

This name has been dormant in my consciousness for too long, but now it suddenly pops up, like a thorn, stuck in the throat, stuck in the apex of the heart, making people want to stop.

My name is He Tiantian. Reading this name reminds me of the poem about picking lotus in the south of the Yangtze River. If I have more imagination, I may also bring out the scene of fish playing among the lotus leaves. In fact, my name does not have these poetic flavors, but it is just a collection of my parents’ surnames. .

If I have to explain it, I think that the "sweetness" is the true meaning, and I agree with the rationality of this explanation, at least throughout my adolescence.

When I was in high school, it was kind of different.The most obvious thing is that I don't like talking to people very much. I often just answer in my heart what others said to me, so that sometimes I doubt whether I really said it or just thought about it, so this First, I have no friends.If there are any, there are two pen pals. They are my junior high school classmates in the middle school attached to Normal University, but I am in the No. [-] middle school more than ten miles away.

Because of my size, I was placed in the last three rows. Zeng Xiaowu was in the back right and Wang Hui was in the front.After only half a semester, I had an inexplicable affection for Wang Hui.

I like his gentle and elegant appearance, his shyness of humming and whispering, his sitting in front of me and listening to the lectures, his delicate handwriting, and the way he walks alone.

At that time, I decided that was what a boy should look like. He didn’t have to be handsome but delicate, and he was not very lively but very elegant. In short, no one was more in line with my expectations for boys than him.

This inexplicable liking began to grow recklessly, so that every time I saw him, my face began to turn red, and I forgot how to talk and walk, and my heart was not good, and it was always pounding.

For this reason, I actually regretted why I didn't say a few more words to him before I fell in love with him.However, this secret love soon died out under Zeng Xiaowu's intervention.

For Zeng Xiaowu, I was really annoyed at first.I hate how he has long hair over his eyes, I hate how he calls people buddies and hangs shoulder to shoulder everywhere I go, I hate the way he fucks and runs between classes, I hate how he wears army green pants and is super badass The most annoying thing about the child's appearance is that he has pierced ears.

No matter what, he is an incorrigible existence in my eyes, and I even think that it is best for us not to have any intersections in the three years of high school.

But God always loves to joke.

The acquaintance with him turned out to be from a book, like a torrential rain falling from the sky, and I couldn't hide it.

After lunch one day, I walked north with Wei Wei from the dormitory, wanting to go back to the dormitory to have a rest. We passed by the playground and saw a large group of people gathered there. According to my temper, I would never watch any excitement, bad The bad thing is that she likes Wei Wei.

She cheered and went to have a look, but couldn't stand her begging, so I just followed her and passed.

Squeezing into the crowd, I found a small book stand inside, and many books were densely packed on the white canvas.

Many people just watched and watched, holding Qiong Yao's and Jin Yong's novels. Although they were all paperback books, they didn't buy many.

Although reading novels is a fascinating thing, of course I also know that buying books is a costly thing. Few of the children around me have pocket money. If they have a lot of money, they will naturally go out to improve their lives. Books are also limited.

Under Wei Wei's urging, I glanced around and found a collection of essays at the foot of the book seller, so I asked him to take it and read it. It was a selection of essays, and the content in it quickly attracted me.

When I raised my head and was about to ask the book seller about the price of the book, a pair of hands quickly took the book from my hands. I turned my head and saw Zeng Xiaowu, and then his voice said, "I have bought this book." Bought", I was a little surprised at first, it's probably not the first time I heard his voice, I never thought it was so magnetic.

"Buy it?" I looked at him in surprise.

"Yes" he only said one word, and then gave the money to the book seller.

Seeing my reluctance, the book seller also supported him, "Yes, he said just now that he would buy it, and now he will take the money."

"Is there a second one?" I expected the book seller to give an affirmative answer, but I was still disappointed. He sold only one book and asked me to choose another one.

"This is the one I've taken a fancy to, don't forget it" I turned around and left angrily.

Although Wei Wei witnessed the whole process, he didn't know where my anger came from, so he comforted me, "Tian, ​​isn't it just a book, there is no reason to be angry."

How did she know that I was angry because of the things I liked, but this bad boy also liked them and was snatched away by him. In the world, no matter how bad my vision is, I shouldn't be similar to this kind of person. It doesn't care about books.

The author has something to say:

A newcomer, newcomer.I hope that all the great gods will criticize and correct me! !