Frontier of rebirth

"What's going on?" Zi Ran hurriedly asked, the anxiety in her eyes was almost overflowing.

"I told you, it's okay." Shu Jiaoyan said with a forced smile.

"Every time you always lie to me like this, do you still want to lie to me like this this time? Don't you realize that you only have eyes for yourself, you just blindly do things at your own pace, but you never realize that I have been I'm chasing you hard behind you." Zi Ran looked a little sad, and a little bit at a loss.

"I never asked you to do this, every time it's always your wishful thinking, now you can blame me in turn."

"Do you take these things as accusations?"

"Then what do you want me to think!" Shu Jiaoyan's reaction was almost hysterical.

"I'm just concerned about you."

"But have you ever asked me how I feel? Your presence reminds me over and over again that there are many things I shouldn't do, you make me feel so miserable, but what choice do I have? I just want to live a normal life , but the word ordinary is so far away from me. I don't want you to participate because I don't want you to know my other side. That side is too dirty and too dark. Sometimes I'm glad I know I missed you, but sometimes I feel that it would be great if you could know a more perfect me. I am afraid that I will destroy you. "

"Did you ever think of me when you said those words? You always put yourself in your shoes, everything is what you think you think, you never try to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Did you ever think What am I really afraid of? What I am afraid of is not your past, not that you may destroy me. What I am afraid of is that when I stand in front of you, you seem to have nothing to see. What I am afraid of What I want from the beginning to the end is just you. I have nothing else to ask for, do you understand?" Zi Ran stepped forward, put her hands on Shu Jiaoyan's shoulders, and stared at her as if You can see the bottom of her heart.

Zi Ran didn't even think that she would say these words out of her mouth. These things had been hovering in her heart for a long time, but she didn't know where to start.She used to convince herself again and again, since you already know her nature and still fall in love with her, then why is she unacceptable now?Or maybe you just fell in love with this kind of her?

She thought she could just stand behind Shu Jiaoyan like that, give silently, without complaint, without asking for anything in return.But the reality is not like this, people are always greedy, every time she thinks she will be satisfied, but every time she desires more.Now she can finally talk to Shu Jiaoyan on an equal footing, and she knows that Shu Jiaoyan is also in love with her, so everything seems to be different from before.

Shu Jiaoyan pursed her lips, but said nothing.She never regarded herself as a perfect person, but she was never accused of being so.From childhood to adulthood, the environment around her taught her to be selfish, not to take care of others, and everything except herself was irrelevant.It wasn't until she met Zi Ran that she realized that this was not the case.She also tried to learn, but in the end it was a mess.

Shu Jiaoyan is used to always being superior, thinking that she has everything under control and sees through everything, but in the end she realizes that the truth is not what she imagined.From the beginning to the end, she didn't understand what Zi Ran wanted.She never learned how to love someone.

"Just tell me what happened, okay?" Zi Ran asked softly.

"I don't know," Shu Jiaoyan said after hesitating for a while, "but it definitely has nothing to do with Meituo. So it doesn't matter, I'm just a little uncomfortable, as long as Meituo is solved, everything will be solved .”

"But what if something goes wrong? Can you guarantee that you won't be implicated? In case..."

"There is always someone who has to take the risk, why can't it be me?" Shu Jiaoyan smiled softly and continued, "What's more, these are beyond your control, since the matter has come to this point, we can only accept it."

Zi Ran was left speechless, and in the end could only hug Shu Jiaoyan.Now the reason for everything has been found, and all the abnormalities of Shu Jiaoyan on the road can be explained.She should have thought of these things, but she ignored them. She never thought about this possibility, because Shu Jiaoyan was never such a person in her mind.It's just that she didn't realize that many things had quietly changed, whether it was Shu Jiaoyan or herself.

"Does it hurt?" Zi Ran asked.

Shu Jiao smiled, and there was a tremor in her voice: "You are enough to care about me." She wanted to deny it, and wanted to tell Zi Ran that it was nothing, but the words changed when she reached her mouth.There was already too much duplicity between them to hide from each other before, so at least they should be honest from now on.

"Is there any way to relieve it?"

"Don't think so much, let's wait until tomorrow to see what Taoist Tian Rui has to say." Shu Jiaoyan kissed Zi Ran's forehead and smiled.

The author has something to say:

I am very sorry that it has been stopped for so long, and I will keep the previous update frequency until the end.