look right

The cold weather has finally entered more than half of December, and Christmas Eve is still a few days away. It is no longer a weather where you can go out surfing in a coat, but a weather where you have to shrink into a ball when you are wrapped in a cotton jacket.

The past ten days have been very calm, so calm that what happened before is just a scene, maybe because it is too calm, so the storm is always behind.

It was a quiet and silent room, but suddenly a series of English songs came to mind. The singing and vibration continued, and the sound came from the mobile phone on the small bedside table.

The singing didn't stop for a long time, and it took a long time before a pair of slender hands with bony fingers stretched out from under the bed, knocked off the lighter on the cabinet, and got the phone.

"Hello?" The voice became more muffled through the thick quilt, and there was no voice for a long time after this sentence. If it wasn't through the quilt, you could hear the voice coming from the receiver if you got closer .

"What?" This sentence was loud, almost yelling, but the hoarse voice that had just woken up did not allow him to continue to speak out.

Xiao Yihan lifted the quilt and sat up abruptly, switched the phone in his hand to answer it, grabbed the hair with the other hand, then bent it, picked up the cigarette on the bedside table, and smoked a stick from it. In his mouth, he groped for a long time before finding the lighter from the ground.

Leaning shirtless against the head of the bed, he took a sharp puff of cigarette and exhaled the smoke ring, pinched the cigarette away from his mouth with two fingers, and said in his still hoarse voice, "Didn't you say it wasn't so fast?"

"What happened so fast?" Chen Mo's voice came through the quilt, but the first thing that came out was a white arm resting on the quilt, followed by a head with messy hair.

"My mother... committed suicide," Xiao Yihan admitted for the first time in a long time that he named Li Lan as his mother. He didn't know if he hung up the phone in his hand, but he bent his upper body and put his hands on his head. Unclear expression.

Chen Mo stopped scratching his hair with his hand, moved his body and slowly sat up, leaning against the head of the bed with the same shirtless arms.

He moved closer to Xiao Yihan's side, raised one hand but stopped on Xiao Yihan's back, turned around and changed direction, put his arms around Xiao Yihan's shoulders and leaned over his entire upper body.

This posture was maintained for a long time, which made Chen Mo's naked upper body a little stiff, but before he could change his posture, Xiao Yihan leaned over with his lowered head, and originally Xiao Yihan covered it with his whole head The quilt that I lived in had been wet for some time, and the light-colored quilt pattern became more colorful because of the soaking of tears.

The originally quiet room was followed by the sound of whimpering, which came from the throat, but the mouth was tightly closed to prevent any louder crying.

Xiao Yihan cried like a dumb child, his brows were always wrinkled, and he cried with his teeth clenched. The tears flowed out like running water, flowing from the corners of his eyes to his chin and continuing to flow to Chen Mo. shoulders.

The feeling from mother abandoning and leaving, to resentment for knowing the truth, and then to completely losing her mother, the heart feels like being torn apart with bare hands, but there is no smell of blood.

Xiao Yihan rested his chin on Chen Mo's shoulder, wrapped his hands and feet around Chen Mo, cried hoarsely, and choked up, "Dachen...Dachen...my mother...she died...dead...she I don’t want me anymore, she clearly said she was going to live forever, she lied to me...she lied to me again, Dachen...you said...knowing this, why did you let me know the truth...why did she let me go like this in the end... uncomfortable."

"Auntie didn't leave you behind, she just went to a far away place," Chen Mo gasped, stretched his arms to hook the quilt and pulled it forward vigorously, covering his and Xiao Yihan's upper body.

I don't know if I am tired from crying or I have finished venting, but I have maintained this posture for a long time, and the sun is no longer shining in the cold weather.

Xiao Yihan finally moved his legs, lowered his head to wipe off the tears, retreated and sat on the edge of the bed, his back was facing Chen Mo with his shirtless arms, his voice became even hoarse, "I want...to go to the hospital."

Li Lan didn't let Xiao Yihan see her. For so long, before his life was completely over, Li Lan made a decision for himself. He took off the oxygen mask and the tube on his body. What was the last moment? Xiao Yihan didn't let Xiao Yihan see the expression.

Perhaps...was it a complete release from the end of life, or a release with a heart of guilt, getting rid of Xiao Yuan, getting rid of Meng Guojiang, but in the end he lost to himself.

After washing and dressing, his heavy heart affected all of Xiao Yihan's emotions, but in the end, he could only see Li Lan's cold body lying on the bed.

He never complained about Li Lan, since the second year after Li Lan left, he was just angry before, but now he doesn't even have the chance to complain.

When Xiao Yihan stepped into the threshold of the hospital, he sorted out his emotions again, looked back at Chen Mo who was following behind, and smiled vigorously.

"It's so ugly," Chen Mo said distressedly.

Xiao Yihan went directly to the previous ward, this time it was quiet without even the sound of machinery, and there was a doctor in a white coat inside when he entered.

"My condolences!" The doctor lifted his glasses on the bridge of his nose, and stepped back a few steps to make way for the seat beside the bed.

Every time Xiao Yihan took a step, he felt as if something had been poured into his mind, it was all about Li Lan, from his childhood doting to his current cynicism, his feet were as heavy as if he had tied a boulder.

He walked to the side of the bed and bent down, his hands trembling so much that he lifted a corner of the white quilt, and it got bigger and bigger, and he didn't stop until his head was exposed.

The purpose of entry was Li Lan's already pale and cold face, without an oxygen mask, without seven or eight tubes, and with a smile on the corner of his mouth, as clean as an angel.

"Bury it," Xiao Yihan closed the quilt and didn't take a second look, but at this moment he was unbelievably calm, his voice was still hoarse without a trace of ups and downs, looked at the doctor and said, "Today."

"Okay! That's what Ms. Li meant before." The doctor flipped through the blue folder that he brought with him, and then handed it to Xiao Yihan, "If there is no problem after reading it, sign it here."

Xiao Yihan held the blue folder, paused for a moment with the pen in his hand, and then signed his name without even looking at it.

Today is a cold and gloomy day, and I can no longer tell the difference between morning and noon, and now even the breath I exhale is a bit foggy.

After casually eating a few mouthfuls of the boxed lunch that Chen Mo bought from outside, it was another long wait. I forgot when he and Chen Mo came, but when he turned on his phone to check the time, it was already eleven at noon. Too much.

Hands that were a little stiff from the cold rubbed each other and stuffed them into the pockets. After the pockets were warmed up, they grabbed Chen Mo's hands and stuffed them in. From the hospital to the crematorium, they waited like this.

Only he and Chen Mo knew the news of Li Lan's death. They were thinking whether to tell Meng Miao that it had been so long since that incident, and Meng Rui spent the rest of her time sitting by the bed in a daze except for eating. She was no longer that carefree girl who did her own thing. .

Xiao Yihan sat on a chair and hesitated with his mobile phone.

"Tell me," Chen Mo's words undoubtedly made a choice for his hesitation, and then he heard Chen Mo continue, "As for whether to come or not..."

"Okay," Xiao Yihan looked up at Chen Mo, then lowered his head and called the number in the phone book, "Hello?"

"Hey, brother, what's the matter?" Meng Miao said.

"I...I wanted to ask if you want to come and see my mother for the last time," Xiao Yihan heaved a sigh of relief, leaned back on the chair and raised his head to stare at the white wall.

After this sentence, there was no sound at the other end, followed by the sound of the phone hanging up. About half an hour later, a few staff members in white coats had just entered the ward, and there were running footsteps in the corridor. Voice.

About 2 minutes later, Meng Miao, who was wearing a thin top, appeared in front of them, bending over with her hands on her knees and panting heavily.

"A... Where's Auntie?" Meng Miao asked out of breath.

"Inside," Xiao Yihan pointed to the ward, it should be done by this time.

Meng Miao rushed in vigorously and put her hands on the door, but the purpose of entering was just for the medical staff to pull up the black zipper.

Meng Miao walked over and squatted on the ground to stop the hand that continued to pull up. He took the zipper pull and slowly pulled it down, and Li Lan's pale face appeared in front of his eyes again.

"I have worked hard all my life, but in the end, it ended in this way. My dad is sorry for you, but I have no chance to repay you," Meng Miao murmured.

Zip up the zipper and watch the staff carry the body to the funeral car. The long wait is no less than an hour longer. From the two people carrying the stretcher to the one person holding the box, the whole process is only a few hours .

When the staff handed it to Xiao Yihan, he paused again with his outstretched hand, hugged the box and stroked the name on it, Li Lan, his mother, the mother who spoiled him for ten years and lied to him for ten years.

About half an hour later, after changing into black mourning clothes, he and Chen Mo boarded the funeral car to the cemetery. There was not much power and scene. This may be the most monotonous funeral since the hospital.

Li Lan seemed to have everything ready, just waiting for someone to die for her. What she bought for herself was a cemetery that was either good or bad, half covered by trees and half exposed to the sun.

The wind at three or four o'clock became even colder. Two people stood and the other squatted in front of the tombstone, and none of them said a word.

When his legs were a little stiff from the cold, Xiao Yihan stood up slowly. He was about to speak, but found that he couldn't make a sound. Is it because he hadn't spoken for a long time or because he was so cold that he coughed hard. So little.

"Want to...see Chenxuan?" Chen Mo stopped and turned around and asked hesitantly.

"He..." Xiao Yihan's dry throat was throbbing as soon as he uttered a sound, he didn't continue talking, but just nodded his head as a signal.

"I'll wait for you here," Meng Miao said.

"Okay," Xiao Yihan and Chen Mo nodded in unison.

Chen Mo kept saying that Chenxuan was not far from Li Lan, and the photo on the tombstone smiled brightly and was very young. There was also a bouquet of flowers on the stone tablet, which looked like it had just been placed.

"It should have been released by his ex-girlfriend. I heard that she was a few years older than him. I only saw that girl once on the day of the car accident. After so many years, I still send flowers to accompany him every now and then," Chen Mo said. "I heard that the girl's family is quite good. Chen Xuan is fifteen or sixteen years old, and the girl should be eighteen or nineteen years old."

"Over the years, I have blamed myself very much. Before you left, you joked that when I find someone I like, I must bring it to you." Chen Mo knelt down and stroked the photo on the tombstone, saying: " Chen Xuan, I brought someone here today, um, someone I like."

"Hi! Chenxuan, my name is Xiao Yihan. Although we don't know each other, we can make Dachen think about it for so long. To be honest, I'm really jealous, but I still want to thank you. You look like Xiao Yihan." Is it a kind of fate?" Xiao Yihan opened his heart and said.

"Chen Xuan, no matter how many times I come here, I still have to say sorry to you," Chen Mo gasped and said, "And... thank you."

"you are?"

The sudden interjection interrupted Chen Mo's memories. The voice was a woman's, and there was a bit of inconceivability in it.

When Xiao Yihan and Chen Mo looked over at the same time, they were also very surprised, staring and unable to take back their surprise.

The woman in front of her is holding a bouquet of flowers, her long wine red hair has just been tied back, and her curvy figure is wrapped in a tight suit skirt, showing off her body. Without heavy makeup, today she only has light makeup, so she doesn't look so haggard Light makeup.

"You...are Chen Xuan...his girlfriend?" Chen Mo asked in disbelief.

The woman in front of him, who Xiao Yihan refused to drink, turned out to be Chen Xuan's ex-girlfriend, how small is the world.

"Jiang Yuyang's sister?" Xiao Yihan asked in surprise with his sore throat.

"Well, hello, my name is Jiang Yuqing," Jiang Yuqing said, "I didn't mean to offend before."

"Is it because I'm somewhat similar to him?" Xiao Yihan asked.

"Well, I'm sorry," Jiang Yuqing said.

"It's okay, I should be the one to tell you I'm sorry," Xiao Yihan said politely.

"You...have you always come here for so many years?" Chen Mo asked.

"Well, but today is the last day. Tomorrow, I will leave and go abroad," Jiang Yuqing nodded and said.

"Bon voyage, and... thank you!" Chen Mo said, "We... will go first."

Xiao Yihan and Chen Mo had just walked on the road, and when they looked back, Jiang Yuqing had already bent over and squatted down, and gently put the flowers in her hand in front of the stone tablet, stroking the cold stone tablet with her white and slender fingers, even though her back Facing them, but you can also see Jiang Yuqing's gentle smile at the moment.

Unlike the people in the bar at that time, without heavy makeup, she was just a woman drinking to relieve her worries. Going abroad?Four or five years, it's time to let it go.

I didn't see Meng Miao when I passed by Li Lan's tombstone, but when I looked up, I saw him leaning against the car and looking at them. He got in the car and took off his black mourning clothes, but he couldn't get rid of his heavy heart. .

In the car, Meng Miao leaned alone by the window in a daze, Xiao Yihan hugged Chen Mo and let him lean on his shoulders, he didn't run around much in a day, but exhausted all his strength, when he was blindfolded to the hospital, he went to the hospital again. Back home by car.

When Xiao Yihan and Chen Mo opened the door, they saw Chen Yan who was squatting on the sofa watching TV, but the sound of closing the door on the other side has been silent until now, followed by a loud roar with the sound of crying.

Hearing this, Xiao Yihan immediately opened the door and rushed to the opposite side, but what he saw was Meng Miao kneeling in front of the coffee table, holding a note tightly in his hand, he stretched out his hand and pulled the note for a closer look.

"No wonder she didn't go to the hospital with me, no wonder... I'm sorry," Meng Miao knelt on the ground and covered her face with her hands, but she still couldn't hide the tears from the corners of her eyes.

Meng Rui, let's go.

I didn't say where I went.