I'm a mustard omega

In the end, I still couldn't resist the threats and lures of Yan Jiuxiaoyan's old profiteer. As soon as I got off the high-speed rail, I was abducted by him to his office to sign a series of unequal treaties that humiliated the country and became his legitimate backup.

Holding a thick stack of signed, fingerprinted and red stamped documents, I always have the illusion that I have sold myself.

Yan Jiuxiao casually picked up a novel with a cover full of girlish hearts from the desk opposite him, scribbled two strokes casually, put it on the stack of unequal treaties in my hand, and patted me on the head gloatingly: "Work hard!" Come on, little mustard!"

I looked down-

"Cannon fodder (crossed out) spare tire (handwritten) counterattack"?

I--

I don't know whether Yan Jiuxiao wants to humiliate me or inspire me, I only know that the title of the book, which is whiter than an idiot, makes people have the urge to smash the book in Yan Jiuxiao's face.

Impulsivity is the devil!

I, who had gained a lot of wisdom, turned over Erlang’s legs and sipped chrysanthemum tea. Yan Jiuxiao, who was full of spring breeze, rolled his eyes, and turned around and walked out the door, holding the stack of documents that were no different from the sales deed.

Yan Jiuxiao, the old landowner, looked at me striding past him in a leisurely manner, and when I was about to step over the threshold, he suddenly asked, "Where are you going?"

I slammed on the brakes and almost bumped my head against the door panel.

I stabilized my steps, and gave him another look angrily: "Can you control it?"

Yan Jiuxiao smiled brightly: "Do you know the third article of the "Rules for Spare Tires?"

I:"……"

I opened the thick stack of sales deeds, and found the third article of the "Regulations for Spare Tires" and took a closer look. From head to toe, the whole person was almost green into a green and boundless prairie with abundant water and grass, cattle and sheep.

Article [-] of the Spare Tire Rules reads:

[-]. The male protagonist has the absolute right to know everything about the spare tire. The spare tire must not hide, lie, or keep silent. limited to marking and discarding at all times), and the spare tire must not have any objections.

Male lead: Yan Jiuxiao (signature, handprint, seal)

Spare tire: Lin Jinghe (signature, fingerprint, seal)

Fine!

I signed the name, I stamped the fingerprint, and stamped the seal, I did it on my own!

I silently recited "Impulse is the devil" eighteen times, rolled up my sleeves and gritted my teeth: "Go back and see if our ancestral grave is blown up. Would you like to dig a hole for you?"

"Oh, that's not necessary." Yan Jiuxiao smiled and put his glass teapot on the "The Counterattack of Spare Tire" in my hand, "But you can make me a cup of tea, go early and come back early, I'll give you 10 minutes."

I--

Before I had time to refute, Yan Jiuxiao immediately shook the contract in his hand: "Do you know Article [-] of the "Rules for Spare Tires?"

I swallowed the words I was about to blurt out, then turned my feet and left.

I don't even want to know what the hell is Article [-] of the "Regulations for Spare Tires"!

However, in view of the fact that Yan Jiuxiaoyan, an old profiteer, added a sentence at the end of each item, "The male protagonist has the right to take any punishment measures against the spare tire (including but not limited to marking and abandoning it randomly), and the spare tire must not have any objections." , I honestly made him a pot of chrysanthemum tea, and then went home with my sales deed and the Zhai Dou novel that Yan Jiuxiao changed its name to.

When I got home, I had just comforted my editor Big Bad Wolf’s Little Red Riding Hood children’s shoes who made me almost jump into the river with my front foot, when I received a call from the widower, Mr. Beta Wang.

As soon as the phone was connected, Mr. Wang began to chatter and incoherently ask me what Yan Jiuxiao was busy with, where he was busy and how busy he was.

I didn't think Yan Jiuxiao was very busy, I just thought he was very busy, he signed an unequal treaty with me all afternoon and had time to force me to make afternoon tea for him, he was like a landlord who was slapping his skin!

correct!

I suddenly had a flash of inspiration and came up with an idea.

So, I secretly poked and blatantly fooled Mr. Wang, who once cheated on me with a table full of Chinese: "He? Heh, he is so busy in the hospital that he dances and dances, and he can't listen to people's words."

Mr. Wang: "..."

Although Mr. Wang didn't say a word, I was as sensitive as I was and quickly sensed his deep disappointment, so I continued to fan the flames: "Do you know what he's busy with?"

"Surgery?" Mr. Wang replied without thinking.

"No, guess again."

"A consultation?" Mr. Wang was so simple-minded that it was outrageous.

"No, you definitely can't think of it, guess again."

Mr. Wang, who was so simple-minded that it was outrageous, was silent for a full minute before replying with great pain: "Blind date?"

I felt that I couldn't let Mr. Wang guess any more, and I was afraid that he would hang himself if I let him guess any more, so I cleared my throat, opened my eyes and uttered a lie that I didn't believe myself: "He Busy thinking about you!"

Mr. Wang——

Mr. Wang suddenly fell silent.

But I was not in a hurry, because I knew he must have fainted from excitement.

Sure enough, after half an hour, Mr. Wang, who was silent, finally came back with an "ow".

After finally slowing down, he was so excited that he was panting like a cow, and he babbled a lot, and I vaguely guessed his central idea from his words that suddenly changed into Martian language.

His central idea is only two words: Really?

Seeing that this strategy is effective, I continued to use my ingenuity to tell lies with open eyes, and fooled the innocent and innocent Mr. Wang: "Of course it is true. It is truer than real gold. I don't know about others, but don't I know about him? He's the kind of pervert who says he doesn't want his body but is honest."

The outrageously simple-minded Mr. Wang immediately believed my nonsense——

No wonder!

He suddenly asked me with a clear mind: "Didn't he vomit the last time he saw me? The body doesn't seem to be honest?"

I poked my own shield with my spear, and with a clang, both were wounded.

But as smart as I am, how can I be stumped by such a trivial matter, I squinted my eyes, and said nonsense: "No, last time he happened to have a stomach problem, don't you see that he was fine last time? As long as you Dress up even more, well, more beautifully, and take down this duplicity pervert in minutes."

I tried my best to recall Mr. Wang's attire that day, resisted the urge to gag, gritted my teeth and suggested: "Yes, the women's attire you wore last time was actually quite to his liking, but the pink looks a bit old, he likes lively and cute ones the most." Big red, um, the shorter the skirt, the lower the chest, the higher the shoes, and the thinner the voice, I can guarantee that Yan Jiuxiao will be fascinated by you with my head. Set for life!"

I spoke eloquently and confidently, but Mr. Wang, who was clear-headed, still hesitated: "Are you sure it's really useful?"

"Of course, my eldest cousin and I are siblings. If I don't know about his affairs, who will? If it doesn't work out, you will kill me, and I will never fight back." I was afraid that Mr. Wang would continue to hesitate, so I made persistent efforts to intensify the fire, " Take a ten thousand step back, even if it really doesn’t work, so what if you try? You must know that a diamond king like my eldest cousin is very sought-after, so maybe you are hesitant. The duck that is about to reach its mouth will be pried by some green tea bitch and white lotus scheming dog, and when you watch my big cousin and other people sleep and fly together, I will not stop you if you cry to death."

"Okay," the hesitant Mr. Wang was finally persuaded by me, and he made up his mind as if he were dead, "You are right, as long as there is 90.00% hope, you have to put in [-]% effort, manly man, If you don't succeed, you will become benevolent, little cousin, I'll take a step ahead, take care!"

"Okay, good luck to you!" I hung up the phone impassionedly, and immediately pulled Mr. Wang into the blacklist, then leaned forward and backward with laughter, beat his chest and stamped his feet, and accidentally fell off the chair and touched a big bump on his forehead.

For the next few hours, I wore a big bag and I felt refreshed and energetic. When I thought of the scene where Yan Jiuxiao was vomited into stomach cramps by the widower Beta Wang, the widower of women's clothes, I was so excited that the corners of my mouth almost cracked. the back of the head.

However, this peaceful, beautiful and pleasant time lasted only until nine o'clock in the evening.

I was dancing and dancing.I was full of enthusiasm to storyboard my next episode of comics, and the phone on the desk rang.

The call was from the original owner of the mobile phone, Yan Jiuxiao, the old landowner Yan Jiuxiao. I thought he was probably throwing up so much that he couldn't take care of himself and wanted to arrest me as a young man.

I answered the phone gloatingly and asked gloatingly, "What's up, buddy?"

Yan Jiuxiao on the other end of the phone snorted coldly, and asked coolly: "I heard that I like big guys in women's clothing?"