aftershock

"Does this look like a prison cell?" A bunch of keys were thrown on the table, and Xu Xuan's chaotic thoughts were completely shaken by the broken voice.

"Like." There are not many things in this temporary room. There is a metal table and a bathroom. The table is full of disposable lunch boxes that Xu Xuan has not eaten. Xu Sheng looked away, he looked a little low-key and solemn, and the black windbreaker and trousers made him look even more bleak.

He looked at Xu Xuan for a while, leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette, and suddenly said, "My mother is gone."

The house is as quiet as a freezer.Xu Xuan didn't think that Xu Sheng needed an audience, but he still asked, "How is the Xu family?"

"The family will never get better again." Xu Xuanchao breathed out a long puff of smoke in the damp and cold air, "My dad can't get out of it, but as long as he is alive, as long as he is alive..."

"Isn't it easy to live? I can live here. Your father wouldn't die so easily in a civilized society."

Xu Xuan's dark gray eyes showed a calm sarcasm, and the corners of his lips curled up to smile, it is very easy to think of his brother who is famous for being unkind. Although Xu Sheng is young, he was born in a black and white family He had lost face on Gu Lv, and when he saw Xu Xuan's exotic and cunning eyes, his heart suddenly became angry.

Seeing Xu Sheng dusting off the cigarette ash, he also laughed. He admired Xu Xuan's calm demeanor, as if he was sure that he would not do anything to him. "It's so pitiful." Xu Sheng sighed, "It's so pitiful, you are sure that Jiang Yuan will find you?"

Xu Xuan didn't speak, Xu Sheng snorted again, "You think I don't know what you're thinking? Xu Xuan, is there anyone more sinister than you?"

"How stupid do you think Jiang Yuan is to be fooled by you?"

Xu Xuan was slightly taken aback, and then let go of the subconsciously curled fingers. "Then you just kill me."

"As you said, in a civilized society, killing someone is too troublesome. If I had your brains, you should have committed suicide by jumping off a building by now."

Xu Xuan was noncommittal, his expression made Xu Sheng feel uncomfortable, not because of inner discomfort, but because he felt being ignored, with a bit of condescending contempt and ridicule. He has been like this since he was a child, gloomy like a man in a sewer who has never seen the light. The sojourner is obviously such a person, but he pretends to be gentle and weak.It's nothing more than a stable life in Xu's family, but there is still plenty to show their teeth and claws behind their backs.

Xu Sheng sneered, and said quietly, "You little green who ran away, remember?"

Xu Sheng looked down on Xu Xuan's birth, and also looked down on his playmates. Before Xu Xuan broke his leg, he had three little followers. In Xu Sheng's eyes, they were no different from the three mice.He kept calling those three people Xiaohong, Xiaohuang and Xiaolu. He didn't need to know what those people were called. The only person who survived he called that person Xiaolu. It sounded like a disgusting person.

Xu Xuan raised his head and glanced at him, his eyes gradually darkened, "Where is he?"

"Oh, I gave him a task."

Xu Sheng smiled, and blew the remaining smoke from his mouth towards his face, "A mission to ensure that you can exchange for some running money."

"Secretary Lin"

Even though Lin Ze clocked in at the clock, he still maintained a steady pace. He was often stopped by the front desk, who gave him food and cell phone numbers. He habitually stood there and kept smiling. The girl looked hesitant.

"what happened?"

The girl at the front desk was holding a stack of very thin express mail. At a glance, it was about four or five copies. "This has been delivered one after another in the past few days. Send it to...Jiangyuan, Mr. Jiang?"

Lin Ze took it over and looked at the address. He was a little surprised. It was indeed signed and sent to Jiang Yuan, but it was indeed a bit strange to send it to the company. For example, the girl at the front desk didn't know that there was a Mr. Jiang in the company.

Lin Zekuan took all the express mail over, "I'll just deliver it."

The front desk relaxed for a while, and soon wondered, "But recently, this letter has been sent almost every day..."

"It's okay, just send it up to me."

Jiang He's shipments are usually related to contracts or important documents signed by the big leaders, and they are very time-sensitive. The girl at the front desk was relieved immediately, and she had a better impression of Lin Ze.

Lin Zewu was surprised for a while, looked at the mailing address, and didn't pay much attention to it, maybe it's Jiang Yuan's personal affairs, he just asked Gu Lu's driver to take him there along the way.

Jiang Yuan climbed up to the terrace on the top of the building. On the last step, he put his hands on his knees and couldn't help panting. On the short fourth floor, he was as tired as a strenuous buffalo. Even the stairs behind him made him think Feeling dizzy and unsteady on his feet, he raised his hand and knocked on his forehead with the palm of his hand before pushing open the glass door and taking a deep breath of the fresh mountain air.

Gu Lv raised a gray parrot here, as if to prove something, Jiang Yuan walked towards the glass flower shed, there was neatly arranged feed on the flower shelf beside him, Jiang Yuan also grabbed some mechanically, and threw some of it in the In the parrot's food bowl.

"Eat, parrot."

The parrot shook its wings and walked from one end to the other, avoiding the food bowl. Jiang Yuan reached out to touch its head, but the little guy immediately tilted his head and avoided it.

"Do you often see me sleepwalking too?"

The parrot's round eyes were pitch-black. Jiang Yuan casually teased it, and it walked back and forth anxiously on the row of iron frames.

This gray parrot is really not a good-looking breed, it is dark and clumsy, not very clever. I heard from my aunt that it was bought by Uncle Xu when he was out shopping in the market and hung in the yard. Gu Lv liked it and put it upstairs to raise it. Jiang Yuan never imagined that Gu Lv would like this mediocre bird.

"Is it just that you like that you can talk, what can you say?" His short and clean nails followed the cracked cracks of the pecan to peel the fruit inside. Attracted by the aroma, it kept flapping its wings and making a creaking sound.

"What did I sleepwalking tell you?" Probably because he just likes to eat this kind of nuts, Jiang Yuan fed several peeled fruits to him, but to his disappointment, the bird did not utter any more, except for eating from the beginning to the end. other voices.

Jiang Yuan patted the crumbs in his hand, bowed his head and mumbled self-deprecatingly, "He said you would say I love you."

"Jiangyuan! Jiangyuan! Jiangyuan!"

Every time the parrot fluttered, the thin chains under its feet would make a crackling sound, which made Jiang Yuan startled strangely.Jiang Yuan put his hands together and put them back in his pockets, and the parrot yelled "Jiang Yuan!"

He hummed.

"Jiangyuan!"

"Um"

"Jiangyuan!"

"Um"

This afternoon, Jiang Yuan was like a fool, sitting on the bench under the flower stand, looking at the extremely ordinary but perennial flowers and trees around him, the sloping roof was hollowed out on the wall, and there was only one table and one table left in the simple room The bench and the iron desk lamp on the table turned a light rusty red after years of water vapor and heat.In this transparent glass cover, summer nights are sultry and winter nights are drafty.

If someone really waits alone every day when there are no stars to see, only mountain wind and heavy rain....

No, I still don't want it.

Jiang Yuan's hand suddenly felt pain, he came back to his senses, the fingertips were still bloodstained the size of a pinprick, Jiang Yuan lowered his head, touched it carefully with one hand, and subconsciously blew it.Blowing and blowing, the fingertips that have been pricked many times, but only faintly bruised and swollen, are not so painful, but the eyes are blurred.

He is beyond help.

Whenever Gu Lu carefully rolls up his cuffs and trousers in the middle of the night to check his arms and thighs, and whenever Gu Lu wakes up in the morning and says to him with a happy smile, "Look, you didn't sleepwalk yesterday", Even when Gu Lv was standing in the yard and passed the lotus pond inadvertently.

Jiang Yuan is like a mouse that stole cheese, because he runs fast and hides well, he can easily steal Gu Lv's satisfaction and relaxation.Gu Lv's obedience, thoughtfulness, and even boundless tenderness are all pressures, and he cooperates to make himself look glamorous, but there is always a certain time when he wakes up in front of the mirror. At that moment, Jiang Yuan clearly knows that he is a hidden girl. A poisoned rat in a dark corner.

He took Uncle Xu's blood sugar test needle and hid it in his pocket and palm. Every night when Gu Lv slept peacefully by his side, he kept a high degree of sobriety.

Jiang Yuan is such a butterfly, there is Gu Lv who is sure that he will not sleepwalk again, Jiang Yuan wants to fulfill him.

He thought it wouldn't be difficult. He could make up for those sleepless nights during the day. At nine o'clock at the latest, he would wake everyone around him up. He also thought that he would be able to live this way.But gradually, he still felt weak.

The bursting convulsive headache, the difficulty in breathing easily when the chest was blocked, the high layer of flesh on the face, and even the countless black hairs picked up on the sofa and pillow every day had already made him overwhelmed. As long as he thinks about these things quietly, all his memories will be messed up.

He was afraid of the bathroom alone, the lotus pond in the yard, and Gu Lv lying beside him.

Today, Jiang Yuan can still hold his head up and say that he is not afraid of death, but the thought of suffocating himself has long since deprived him of his control over himself.This tug-of-war was too tiring, he didn't want to disappoint Gu Lv, hurt him, and he didn't even want to hurt another fish.

Every day around Gu Lv, he has to ask himself: to survive.

And when he was so desperate that he wanted to jump off a building, die, and disappear every minute, he had to grit his teeth and promise himself: not today.