The paranoid wind controller always wants to tease me

He can't stay here any longer.

Su Qiyun felt that his heart was being pulled hard, he gently broke away from the opponent's hand: "You are confused."

He turned into the inner room, which had no windows and was much darker than the outside.He didn't turn on the light either, and groped in the dark to clean his things.

Unexpectedly, Gu Peifeng actually followed in.

He didn't speak, and didn't make any further threats, just stood gloomily at the door, with a tall silhouette.

"elder brother……"

Su Qiyun didn't even turn his head: "Don't call me brother."

His shoulders were suddenly pulled over, Gu Peifeng grabbed him tightly, as the party who exerted pressure and coercion, his eyes were actually painful.

"You... You said that it's almost impossible to happen... Give it a try, why don't you give it a try. If there's anything wrong with me, and if you don't like me, I can change it. "

His eyes were wet, like a fawn lost in the woods.

"...It's not your problem."

Su Qiyun turned his gaze away: "Let go of me."

Gu Peifeng was deadlocked with him for a while.

"Let go of me, let me talk."

He just let go.

Su Qiyun took a step back and leaned against a thin wooden wall. The support behind him gave him a sense of security: "...I can't enter into an attachment relationship with others."

He saw the light shining in Gu Peifeng's eyes.

"... I have a very strong obsessive-compulsive disorder, including tidiness, numbers, cleanliness, and many other things that you would think are insignificant, in my opinion, it is unbearable; I can't face normal social interactions, normal relationships ...Family is not good, not even Xiaoci; you may think that I am indifferent, and nothing can arouse my mood swings, but in fact, it is just the opposite."

Su Qiyun paused, his eyes focused on a point that didn't exist in the darkness.

"Actually, I restrain my emotions all the time."

"elder brother……"

"Don't interrupt me."

Su Qiyun said in a cold voice: "I need injections and pills to maintain a stable mood. A little stimulation in your opinion will have a considerable impact on me. I have no way to withdraw myself from the negative environment, let alone Bring good emotional feedback to the people around you, you are in the hospital, don’t you ask them what they think of me.”

Gu Peifeng was a little taken aback.

It turned out that he was awake, and he knew it.

Su Qiyun leaned against the wall, smiled wryly and shook his head: "It's a monster. I am a monster. I have been doing this monster for more than ten years, and I have no solution... So, I don't deserve to harm others at all. You understand."

After speaking, he turned his face away.

Gu Peifeng felt that he was trying to suppress his emotions.He just raised his hand, wanting to pat Su Qiyun's shoulder comfortingly, but unexpectedly, the other party dodged suddenly and took a big step back into the dark corner: "Don't touch me."

He returned to the sensitive and nervous mode when Gu Peifeng came here.

For such a long time, he used love letters, letters, and spectators to participate in his life little by little. He never dared to speak, dared not stimulate, let alone force, because he was afraid of going to this step.

But today, on impulse, he still made it this far.

"...You say I like you, but if I say, I don't know myself."

Su Qiyun hid in the darkness in the corner, only three steps away, but he couldn't see his expression clearly.

"Physiologically, my baseline dopamine level is very unstable, and I have phased, out-of-the-ordinary enthusiasm for many things-skydiving, paragliding, rock climbing, which are just means I use to calm my dopamine levels- —Even if it doesn’t stimulate my opioid system physically. That is to say, I don’t like these things in a psychological sense, including skydiving, paragliding, and rock climbing. Getting it won’t bring me any sense of satisfaction and Pleasure. I’m just a puppet tricked and manipulated by my own restless dopamine neurotransmitters to pursue something I don’t even know I like.”

"If it's just biological control, not psychological liking, even with a responsible attitude towards others, I shouldn't enter into an attachment relationship with others."

Gu Peifeng vaguely guessed what he was going to say next.

"...Psychologically speaking, my cognitive schema is chaotic. I can't tell whether this is normal feedback or is affected by physiological factors. You said I like you and listed so many manifestations... If Let me tell you, none of this is psychological, it may just be an illusion of physical disorder, even I can’t tell if it’s real, how do you want me to answer you?”

Gu Peifeng reached out to him unconsciously, but he avoided it.

After confessing in one breath, Su Qiyun's body completely relaxed: "If you don't press me, maybe we can still get along. But now..."

He lowered his head and smiled self-deprecatingly.

"What you said, I don't care, I don't care."

Gu Peifeng took a small step forward: "These don't scare me at all. If you can't tell the difference, then you can't tell the difference. I will accompany you and let you slowly figure out whether you really like it or...even if it is Physiological disorder, after a while, you see that I am bored and hate me, you can throw me away."

In fact, Gu Peifeng vaguely had an answer in his heart.

Su Qiyun may really not understand the meaning of love or liking.If he understood, he would not have said such a long list of words above.

"...Also, what you just confessed...will only pull me tighter."

After thinking about it, he still spoke his mind.

Gu Peifeng stopped a step away from him, leaving him some space.

"Peifeng."

Su Qiyun's voice sounded tired.

"There are only more than 3 days in a person's life. After each day passes, there will be no more. Don't waste energy on people who are not worth it. If you have this time, go to a good relationship and love something worthy of your love Man, you're young and life's just beginning—"

Before he could finish speaking, his wrist was suddenly grabbed, and Gu Peifeng finally took the last step, forcing him into a dark corner.

Su Qiyun moved his lips, wanting to say something else, but when he looked up and saw Gu Peifeng's eyes, he took the words in.

Even though the room was very dark, even though he was standing with his back to the light, even though his bangs were too long to cover some eyebrows, but at this moment, at such a close distance, Su Qiyun could still see clearly, and his eyes were red.

"As I said, no one can control who I like and who I don't like. Even if it's you."

Su Qiyun stared at him blankly, but didn't speak.

"If, if you can see a lunar eclipse tonight, if there will be an impossible miracle in the world, even if you don't want to be with me, at least promise me, don't resist me, and don't run away, okay?"

His wrist was pinched and shook.

Su Qiyun didn't move.

"Okay……"

Gu Peifeng asked again, this time his ending was changed, a little begging.

Su Qiyun turned his eyes away.

He didn't pack his things anymore, and he didn't persuade Gu Peifeng to eat anymore - he knew that no matter how much he tried to persuade Gu Peifeng, he wouldn't move his chopsticks until he got what he wanted.

He simply asked someone to collect the tray.

The rain hasn't stopped.

After Gu Peifeng understood that Su Qiyun would not leave for the time being, he relaxed a little and sat under the eaves alone, waiting stubbornly for something.

At this time, even the evening classes in the Buddhist monastery were over, and only a few monks were left in the meditation room next door who were chanting scriptures all night.

"Forget it, Peifeng, go to sleep."

I didn't know what time it was in the morning, Su Qiyun stood at the door and called him.

Gu Peifeng didn't even look back.

Only now did he discover that Gu Peifeng didn't turn back if he didn't bump into the south wall, but he went through a hundred thousand south walls. As long as he didn't see what he wanted, he wouldn't turn back.

Looking at Gu Peifeng's back sitting in the night rain, he suddenly felt familiar.

Going back more than ten years, he was so heartbroken at that time, he didn't listen to anyone's persuasion, and he went to the capital with Xiaoci in his arms, his back may be like this.

Su Qiyun told him not to move, and walked back to the astronomical telescope, only to realize that the equipment was good, but Gu Peifeng had adjusted it as if it hadn't. He shook his head and looked at the eyepiece: "Your adjustment is not right at all."

Only then did Gu Peifeng turn around.

"This place." He pointed to a small peephole. "This is the polar mirror."

"This telescope uses an equatorial mount, not a simple astronomical telescope that uses a theodolite."

Gu Peifeng has been staring at him, watching his slender fingers, the trembling of Adam's apple, and his calm eyes.

He likes Su Qiyun's serious look the most, cold and restrained, obviously a sense of alienation that resists others, but has an indescribable magical power that has always attracted him.

"...To put it simply, it has two directions, horizontal and vertical, that is, the declination axis and the polar axis need to be adjusted, which can be used to offset the influence of the earth's rotation, and there is also an automatic tracking motor to cooperate. Let me help you adjust. "

Su Qiyun sat down, focused his left eye on the eyepiece, found the brightest reference star in the field of vision, and began to help him recalibrate the machine.

There was a small shadow cast by his side, it should be Gu Peifeng who came over.

He lowered his eyes, adjusting the most suitable field of vision.

Su Qiyun's initiative to reconcile made Gu Peifeng, who had been sulking all the time, relieved a lot.

But Su Qiyun understood that it was impossible to see the lunar eclipse now that the clouds were overcast.Gu Peifeng's slim hope is that he will face another fatal blow.

He calibrated the two axes and turned the astronomical telescope for a circle. Suddenly, a bright star appeared in the field of view of the eyepiece.

Su Qiyun raised his head. The change was so obvious that he didn't even need a telescope to observe it. The cold white moonlight shone under the eaves—a small piece of the dark cloud was blown away.

The rain stopped.

He instantly found the moon in the sky, big and white.

Lunar eclipses are generally full moons with a full moon.

Today's moon is also the same, and all the potholes and shadows of the Copernicus crater are clearly visible.

Suddenly, the left half of the moon began to darken.His hands tightened instantly—this was a sign that the moon had entered the penumbra, and it was the prelude to a total lunar eclipse.

Is there really such a coincidence in the world?

Su Qiyun calmly moved the telescope away and pointed it at another small piece of night sky: "I can't see the lunar eclipse, let's look at something else."

There was an eerie silence in the room for a moment.

"……you are lying."

Su Qiyun's left hand was originally propped on the ground, but now it tightened unconsciously.

"you're lying."

This time Gu Peifeng's voice was so close that he could meet his gaze when he raised his eyes.

He was indeed lying, and the lie was as false as bubbles.

After the moon entered the penumbra, the brightness decreased significantly, and the whole land seemed to be covered with a layer of darkness, and the room was even more bleak and terrifying.

You don't need a telescope to see at all.

There were faint chanting sounds from the next door, both far and near.

He withdrew his gaze and stepped back a little: "I didn't promise you just now."

"But you didn't deny it, did you?"

Su Qiyun fell silent.

A small shadow suddenly enveloped him, he raised his eyes, and saw the broad and straight shoulders, Gu Peifeng was very close, his breath was like a gentle summer wind, brushing warmly over his cheeks.

Su Qiyun still lowered his eyes and didn't meet his gaze. He saw Gu Peifeng's right hand propped up beside him. The palm of his hand was wide and reliable.

Then the hand was raised, Su Qiyun dodged subconsciously, turned his face away, and avoided the hand he wanted to touch.

Su Qiyun was pushed back a little, and his back hit the low wooden table.

The room darkened at a speed visible to the naked eye.

Su Qiyun didn't move, partly because there was a low table behind him, if he moved around, it would make noises and disturb the monks chanting sutras next door.On the other hand, he couldn't tell himself.

The dark clouds were completely blown away, and a little bit of starlight slantedly illuminated his side cheeks.

Gu Peifeng always felt that the mole on his left cheek was a star in the sky, it was crushed and stuck on his face, it was the light guiding him.

When he first met him, he just felt that it was a shackle of immorality added after many trials.As time went by, he realized more and more that meeting Su Qiyun would cost all the good luck in his life.

But it's worth it.

Maybe sometimes you should keep your sanity, and sometimes, your sanity should be thrown away.

At least tonight, in the face of a rare miracle, he wanted to obey his heart.

Gu Peifeng supported the ground with one hand, and carefully kissed the mole.

The author has something to say: The kiss is here! ! ! ! ! !

感谢在2020-06-2512:00:12~2020-06-2521:06:42期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who threw the landmines: 廾匸, Su Qiyun 1 celestial vegetable;

Thanks to the little angel of the irrigation nutrient solution: 15 bottles of happy every day; 1 bottle of rest on Lantian Mountain;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!

Thanks for following up!

21:[-] tomorrow night!be there or be square