[Comprehensive] Supernatural Honmaru Experience Records

The following audio recording is an archive of the accident caused by the mobile task force "If You Are the One" trying to contain SCP-CN-20-j "Second Disease Experience Device" on █/█/048█.

Command: Hello, I am the commander temporarily assigned by the SCP Foundation site, you can call my hero "Earphone Plug"

Command: Please test the microphone.

Hawks: Hawks, currently ranked No.2 "Hero of the Wings", because of high salary, currently working for the No.11 "Bread Machine Man"... By the way, my little sister sounds very young, right?Are you a student of Hero Academy?

Command: …The real-time audio is very clear, please wear your goggles and stay alert at all times.

Hawkes: Okay, I don’t need you to teach me this, let’s talk about the mission requirements first, I’m asked to work overtime alone, so the mission location is... the sky?

Command: (Sound of paper flipping.)

Command: Please try to contain the hidden objects caused by SCP-CN-048-j in the sky without attracting everyone's attention.

Hawkes: Well, go ahead.

Command: ...There is nothing below.

Hawks: Wait, there's nothing down here?

Command: Uh, any questions?

Hawks: Of course it's about hidden objects, you have to at least tell me what it is, right?

Command: (sound of eager paper flipping) No, it wasn't written in the mission description.

Hawks: Are you serious, I can't do this task.

Command: Well, I'll call again to confirm—look behind you!

(The sound of breaking through the air came from behind Hawks, and Hawks turned his head quickly, but the abnormal item had disappeared.)

Hawks: What?The speed is so fast——

Command: This should be the quest item, hurry up, please catch him!

Hawks: Wait, wait, let’s clarify what this thing is——I can see through your SCP Foundation’s stuff. will grow on your body].

Hawkes: Your SCP Foundation is very bad, I have to be on my guard.

Command: …Trust me, this one has absolutely none of these problems.

Hawks: Huh?Listening to your tone...you seem to know something?

Command: I'm sorry, the person concerned... requires confidentiality, be careful!behind you!

(There is another sharp cracking sound, Hawks dodges sideways, the sound becomes quieter.)

Hawkes: Yellow, fluffy...you won't be taking the Quidditch Snitch in, will you?No... the Snitch is not that big.

Hawks: This thing, I have a strange sense of familiarity - it seems to be serious, I have to wear goggles!

Command: You were clearly reminded to wear goggles before, right?

Hawks: Be quiet, I want to observe where it flies now, and you must know that this is not a rush-this kind of aerial pursuit is very particular.

Command: There is another saying... I haven't heard of it.

Hawkes: Let me put it this way, let me use an analogy... Have you ever shot a fly?

Command: Hmm, but what's the connection?

Hawkes: When you don’t pick up the fly swatter, you must feel that this fly is everywhere, always buzzing in your ears... If you wave your hand away impatiently, it will even in your face--

Hawkes: However, if you can’t bear it anymore and pick up the fly swatter, you will find that the flies and mosquitoes that have been harassing you in your ears before are gone, or they are flying on the ceiling...you can’t even find them. its existence!

Command: ... (silence).

Command: So real!

Hawkes: You know, I'm such a life-focused man -- you don't have to marvel at that.

(The sound of wings beating at high speed, the piercing sound of piercing the air.)

Hawkes: The solution is - ambush, wait for the opportunity, and surprise!look!I grab it...

(dead silence)

Hawkes: Whoa what is this!

(Screams, the sound of flapping wings messily, and the sound of the engine of the mission items breaking through the air)

Hawks: Heads! !This is the head, yes, it is the head of All Might! !head!

Command: Mr. Hawks, please calm down!

Hawks: ██!Why does Olmert's █ head fly in the sky!What the hell is the rocket propulsion engine!

Hawkes: What have you done with All Might? !What did you do to his head? ! ! !

Command: Mr. Hawks, please calm down...it's just a figurine head!is fake!

Hawks: Wait, you mean...it's just a figure?

Command: That's right... an unfinished 1:1 life-size doll.

Hawks: One to one... body...doll?But why is there a rocket thruster in the cavity of its skull? !

Hawks: Are you women so good at playing?What exactly is this play? !

Command: This was just an accident!My classmate accidentally left his battle suit accessories inside, it was just an accident!

Hawkes: It sounds more intrusive!Can I give up this mission?Well, two seconds ago I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and I had to go to the bathroom...

Command: Please persevere, you see, this is coming...

Hawkes: Can this be solved simply by saying "everyone is here"?To be honest, I have a shadow of that thing flying in the sky right now, please let me go home.

Command: Uh...you can think of the head as a fly, the golden snitch in Quidditch...or simply think of it as a basketball.

Hawks: But it's a human head!It's not as simple as you said at all, you can do it? !

Site Manager: What happened?Why hasn't containment succeeded yet?

Command: Why are you here?Didn't you just deal with Ender who came after you—

The person in charge of the site: I'm just here to take a look. Why, is there something wrong with Mr. Hawkes?

Hawks: Look, this man... the rocket booster in his head consumes energy, right?Can it wait for it to burn out by itself and then fall down by itself...

site site leader: indeed, this is a good idea.The premise is that people have never discovered that there is a head of Olmert flying in the sky.

Hawkes: ...

Command: ...

Hawks: ...Okay, I'll try again, but for my reward for this mission, you must at least—

Site manager: twice the pay.

The person in charge of the site: We have decided to auction off all the figurines collected by the boss of "If You Are the One" and "Toaster Man" to make up for this loss.

Hawkes: Boss, you are such a jolly fellow.

Hawks: It must be able to do it, isn't it the head of the former No.1 professional hero All Might who can fly!Even if it's the head of the current No.1 professional hero Andewa, I would—

All Might: What do you want?

Hawks: ——!

Command: ——! !Why, the voice of the flame hero Andeva came out in the channel of Mr. Olmert?

Site Manager: Andewa, didn't you ask you to stay in the office for now, and we can talk again after this mission is over?Who allowed you to run around?

Olmert (Andwa): Olmert's office is unlocked, the door is wide open... I walked in, it seems that you are in trouble?

Olmert (Andeva): Just now, I seem to have heard that bastard Hawks mentioning my name?Is he talking bad about me again?

Hawks: How is it possible, you must have heard it wrong.

Olmert (Andrew): It's rare, it's the first time I see you being so difficult about the task, how is it, what can't be done, let me give pointers?

The person in charge of the site: This is not something you should manage. You are an outsider of the SCP Foundation and have no right to interfere with our mission.

Olmert (Andeva): Having said that, I am the No.1 professional hero, and it is my responsibility to maintain law and order. There are some things that I have to ask.

The person in charge of the site: You——!

Hawkes: Oh, since you said that, I really have to ask you to "point out".

Hawks: Come on, please take the headset to the roof of the office building of "If You Are the One", and then make a baseball "catch" gesture.

Olmert (Andwar): What is your request?What are you trying to do - you're not going to throw a bomb at me, you boy -

Hawks: Are all veteran professional heroes so sharp? Well, just kidding, no, it's a "mission item". If you don't believe me, ask the command.

Command: Can you hurry up?There are already kite-flying children who have discovered that something is wrong in the sky.

(The sound of flapping wings and flying at extreme speed——)

Hawkes: Got it - ok, Andvar, are you ready!

(sound of throwing objects)

Olmert (Andwar): Damn, throwing it so suddenly- wait, what is this, it's still burning, and it's not a bomb...

(Sudden silence, the scene fell into a dead silence...)

Olmert (Andwa): Why is there an extra human head in my hand?

Olmert (Andwa): Why, there is an Olmert's head in my hand? ! !

Command: Mr. Andrew, please calm down, this is just a figure!It's fake, so don't have psychological pressure!

Hawkes: You little girl, why didn't you persuade me not to have psychological pressure just now, but now you persuade Andeva.

Command: Because I'm afraid I will have psychological pressure.

Olmert (Andwar): What to do next!How long am I going to hold this damn head up!

Hawks: You can try to destroy it, you can use flames or anything, as long as it can be destroyed - if it doesn't work, you can eat it.

Olmert (Andwar): Have you thought about the consequences of doing this?

Command: As long as this is done, the headline of tomorrow's newspaper will be "The current No.1 hero angrily tears the head of the former hero. Is it the ugliness of human nature or the insurmountable jealousy?" "

Site person in charge: Have you had enough trouble?

The person in charge of the site: The person in charge, Hong Leng, called the space technicians, please open the plane channel of the site-█ Heianjing plane.

Site person in charge: Next, do you know how to do it?Speed ​​up and drag it until noon, the Foundation doesn't care about food.

＜End of record＞

--------

The site-█ Heian-kyo plane is currently the fastest growing site, because relatively speaking, in this world where abnormal human events are under the control of Onmyoji and abnormal events of monsters are under the control of Shutendouji Ibaraki Doji, it is really too peaceful .

Today's work is so leisurely.

Dr. Kuwana, who was stationed at the Heiankyo site, woke up naturally again. She slowly put on the chic SCP foundation overalls—a red and white priestess uniform, and couldn't wait to open the curtains to enjoy the beautiful morning sunshine. .

Not far away, their Lord God was the same as before, leaning against the railing and feeding the koi. The sun was evenly shining down, and under the light, the handsome Fengshen seemed to be shining.

It's a wonderful life - so, should I wake up today to organize empty folders, or to clean the empty SCP containment room?

What a sweet annoyance...

Dr. Kuwana was lying on the window sill, the breeze was blowing on her slightly drunken face, she was dumbfounded looking at the fallen leaves, she was dumbfounded watching the koi carp scrambling for food in the water, she was dumbfounded watching the people's hair across the sky Come--

Well, sweet troubles are over.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

"Baifan Lecture Forum" is going to be a weekly magazine... It is more appropriate to say that this article should be published as a welfare~

Then I felt, "Don't Care About These Details" I didn't write enough

Completely, not enough written...

I plan to write a sand sculpture article of the same style!

Damn, just thinking about it will make you fall! !