bosom friend

Qiao Ping said: "I think Xin Yu should have given up thinking about the 'meaning of life'. He hasn't mentioned it for a long time. He used to say that life is meaningless. He said that in the infinite universe, individuals even The entire human process is just a speck of dust..." He smiled, took out a tissue from the tissue box on the table, wiped it lightly on the table, then looked at the tissue in his hand, and rolled it into a ball , Throw it into the trash can.

Liang Weidao: "Has his point of view troubled you?"

Qiao Ping thought for a while, and said: "It didn't bother me, I think he is very cool. He only had fantasies after college. Before that, he was busy studying and taking exams every day, so he didn't have time to think about it. "

Liang Wei said, "At that time you liked him very much as a friend?"

Qiaoping laughed, with a strange sadness in his smile, but the expression disappeared in a flash, "He is very special. In my life, there is no one else like him. He is different from everyone, so, only He is irreplaceable."

"Is it irreplaceable?" In Liang Wei's experience, many times, when others want to talk, he just needs to give timely guidance-echoing or repeating what the other person said has a very good guiding effect.

Qiao Ping said: "Yes, it is irreplaceable. If I don't eat rice, I can eat meat or other foods, but those things can't replace rice in my heart."

Liang Wei smiled and said, "I also like Chinese food, especially rice."

"Yeah." Qiao Ping picked up the coffee with a smile, made a gesture of doing it first, and then took a sip.

Liang Weidao: "You said that Xin Yu thinks life is meaningless, so what is your meaning to him?"

"I only said a part of it just now. His complete point of view is: everything is meaningless on a macro level, and everything that exists has its own meaning on a micro level. The latter is probably used by him to convince himself to live a good life." Said After finishing the premise, Qiao Ping answered Liang Wei's question, "So, I am meaningful to him, on a micro level."

Liang Wei said: "Judging from what you said, he has a great influence on you." Qiao Ping didn't cause trouble when he said it, but let him put it another way.

"Yes, it has a great influence. Without him, I should have been quite depressed for so many years. When I was younger, I felt that most people in the world were stupid, and it was suffocating to stay with them for a while... ...So I will look for an environment that makes me feel more pleasant...Having a good friend who never criticizes you will make your life easier." Qiao Ping smiled, as if recalling the past, and he said after a while, "But , Occasionally I would also think that it was because of his connivance that I would slide down so fast."

Liang Weidao: "'Sliding down', you mean degenerate?"

Qiao Ping said together: "Probably, I think I was a little out of control."

Liang Weidao: "Before you said that you were looking for happiness in life."

"That's right." Qiao Ping said, "It was the same thing for me at the time. I didn't care about the meaning of life, I didn't care whether I could prove my existence, I was a selfish person, and I only cared about the happiness in front of me .And then I went astray, and I mistook excitement for pleasure."

"Oh? What's going on?"

"Stimulation can make people addicted, and it will make your addiction bigger... Let me think about how to say it." Qiao Ping frowned.

Liang Weidao: "The most serious addictive behaviors are drug use, gambling, and alcoholism."

Qiao Ping said: "I don't have these behaviors. And now I feel that when a person can't calm down, such as driving a car too fast, playing games and so on-I mean just playing and not People who are professional—these behaviors are actually the same as drug use, seeking more stimulation to get more pleasure. But this is an illusion, and you will only get more emptiness when you stop.”

He smiled, "There are more and more stimuli, more and more out of control, you really died looking for happiness in life, right?"

Liang Wei said, "You think a lot."

"Well, thinking that my self-control is as bad as those 'drug addicts', I lost all interest in my former life."

"..." Liang Weidao, "Drugs can affect a person's body, and it's not entirely a matter of self-control."

"Oh." Qiao Pingyi didn't care about this, and continued, "Anyway, now I think the ease and pleasure brought by self-control is much better than the short-term 'happiness' brought by the pursuit of excitement."

Liang Weidao: "Self-control can bring people a sense of security."

Qiao Ping suddenly asked, "Have you ever played with jumping machines and those 90-degree roller coasters?"

Liang Wei shook his head, "I'm a little afraid of heights."

Qiao Ping said: "I have played, and I have played with Xin Yu. I am very nervous to play that kind of thing, but also very exciting. I am nervous and excited. After playing once, I can't help but want to play again. Guess what? Did you get Xin Yu's reaction?"

Liang Wei shook his head again.

"He told me that there's actually a trick to playing these things: just relax your body so that you feel like you're floating in the air."

"...in that situation he can let himself relax?"

Qiao Ping smiled and said: "Yes, the photos show that everyone is crying and howling, but he is the only one who is laughing—because before going up, he was a little worried that he would get motion sickness, but he was very happy when he found out that he didn't get motion sickness."

"..." Liang Wei pushed his glasses, "What do you think about his state?"

Qiao Ping lowered his head and stirred his coffee, "He doesn't care, because life is meaningless, isn't it?"

Liang Weidao: "The difference between the two of you is quite big. But from the perspective of the amusement park, I think you get along very well. He can accompany you to play exciting games you want to play."

"Well, because he's not afraid and doesn't care..."

Liang Wei said: "Sorry, with all due respect, if you're looking for excitement, then you don't really care."

Qiao Ping raised his head and smiled at him: "That's not necessarily true. Didn't I say that others are stupid before, but that doesn't mean I'm not stupid - I confuse pleasure with excitement. When playing those things, because of nervousness, I always The one holding Xin Yu's hand, so it may be that those projects are particularly stimulating and I want to play again and again, or it may be that I just want to hold his hand."

Liang Wei said, "Did he notice that you were holding his hand?"

"Of course, but, in that special case, as long as I don't scratch his hand and swell it, he won't care."

Liang Wei smiled and said, "So you are together this year."

Qiao Ping also smiled, "I'm also very surprised."

"Oh? So what do you guys think about 'you guys together'?"

Qiao Ping said: "He is still very relaxed, and I am still very nervous."

Liang Weidao: "Your tension is because you care, and his relaxation can also be because of enjoyment."

Qiao Ping smiled, "Yes, he told me that he likes the feeling of floating in the air as if he is flying. But I always hold him too tightly."

Liang Wei said, "Is that so?"

Qiao Ping nodded, "Well, but I didn't realize it at the time. Now that I think about it, I should have been trying to be his 'meaning of life' in the past few months. When I chatted with you last time, you talked about people There are various needs, I am like this, so is he, I should not and cannot put all my needs on him, and his life cannot be only me, he has many other things and other people to go care."

Liang Weidao: "You mean you have figured out the problems between you two?"

"Yes." Qiao Ping said together, "but I'm very sad."

Liang Wei pushed the tissue box towards him, "Actually, couples can be in many states. Some are delicate flowers who like or need others to protect them from the wind and rain; some are cactus with long thorns, close It will hurt people..."

"Some people are vines and need to climb on the support. For example, vines and trees can be a pair. Sometimes they can last forever. Sometimes the tree will be entangled by vines. Sometimes both are half dead. Some people are trees. They may like flowers. Grass likes the vine, and maybe another tree."

"There are several other combinations, and any kind of couple may exist. Their state may not be healthy, but this does not mean that they are not suitable for each other, nor does it mean that they cannot last long."

Qiao Ping thought for a while, "I am a tree, Xin Yu is another, but I am trying to turn him into a flower or a vine?"

Liang Wei said, "I'm not good at judging this, I don't understand what's going on between you two."

Qiao Ping smiled and said, "Two trees... I like your metaphor." He was not upset, Xin Yu is certainly not a delicate flower, and he himself is not interested in this kind of role. Trees are very good, and their roots can be wrapped around Together, the branches can also be mixed together.

Liang Weidao: "It's a very rough metaphor. In fact, the specific situation still needs to be analyzed in detail."

"Yeah." Qiao Pingyi said suddenly, "Xin Yu and I broke up temporarily."

"..." Liang Wei pushed his glasses. He originally thought that Qiao Ping would never say anything about the breakup, "Why did they break up?"

Qiao Ping said with a smile: "He has been pampering me, pampering me, and then he suddenly dumped me."

Liang Wei was speechless, Qiao Pingyi's words were too joking, he couldn't draw any judgment, but it could be seen that Qiao Pingyi's mental state was quite relaxed now.

Qiao Ping said: "At first, I didn't think that he really wanted to break up, and it wasn't. I thought he would forgive me soon... After a long time, I was paralyzed by him, and I forgot what his original style was. gone."

Liang Wei said, "What kind of style is he?"

Qiao Ping said together: "It's very ruthless."

Liang Wei looked at him and thought he might be joking.

Qiao Ping said together: "When do you think it is more appropriate for us to get back together?"

"..." This question surprised Liang Wei again. He thought for a while and said, "I probably can't give you any advice on this, but I think Xin Yu may be relatively slow in emotional matters. One has to be patient.”

Qiao Ping sighed: "And he is very stubborn, unless he thinks clearly, no one can control him."

Liang Wei smiled and said, "You know him better than I do. I really can't give you any good advice."

Qiao Ping sighed again, "At that time, I really should have a better brain..."

Liang Weidao: "If something goes wrong in a relationship, both parties are responsible."

Qiao Ping said together: "But I should know better than him."

Liang Weidao: "I didn't know it before, but I think you understand it quite well now."

"..." Qiao Ping laughed.