lame brain

How can there be a difference between people?

Obviously, he was also drenched in the rain, and he was so heavy in the morning that he almost couldn't get up, probably because he was going to catch a cold, and...

Fang Weiming glanced at Jiang Yeqing, who had never stopped being active, and felt emotional.

But this time he really wronged him. Jiang Yeqing, who realized something that completely refreshed his three views, was in the state of "who am I", "where am I" and "what am I doing?" It's already very good to be alive and alive.

Fang Weiming, who was also caught in a special state, lost his usual vigilance and couldn't see Jiang Yeqing's abnormality. In fact, he couldn't see anything in normal times. After all, he would go crazy whenever he encountered something related to Jiang Yeqing. Lame, there is no cure.

"Hey, hello... at the same table!"

"Ah?" Fang Weiming turned his head a little slowly, and after Jiang Yeqing pointed at the side, he realized that there was a girl standing in front of the desk. When the girl saw that he finally turned his gaze to her, she blushed and dared not look directly at him. Putting the stack of test papers in his hand on his desk, he stammered, "Class, class monitor, the math teacher asked you to hand out these test papers..." After he responded, he quickly left, as if behind It was like a scourge was chasing her.

"Flood beast" took a look at the paper, and it turned out that the paper for the monthly exam had been approved.

"At the same table, are you okay?" Jiang Yeqing hesitated to speak, his eyes flickered a little, as if he wanted to ask, but he didn't ask for some reason.

Rao is brain crippled and the double DEBUFF of illness is holding back his legs, Fang Weiming finally noticed something in his strange hesitation at this time.

He is alienating himself.

From Fang Weiming's point of view, this is the case.

I don't know what it feels like, it's like a mouthful of Coptis chinensis is put in the mouth that is already bitter and pale when I have a cold, from the tongue coating to the heart.

"It's okay." The tinnitus was too severe, and he himself didn't know that the words he said sounded like mosquitoes, and if he didn't listen carefully, he still couldn't hear them.

Without waiting for Jiang Yeqing to say anything else, he bowed his head and walked away, making people unable to hold back.

Walking back and forth in the first row of the classroom handing out papers with a pale face that seemed to be braving the cold, Fang Weiming's heartbeat was rumbling, and the tinnitus in his ears gradually merged with the violent heartbeat, becoming his only something that can be heard.

why?

He asked himself, what went wrong?

His mind was blank, and he was completely unable to calmly analyze one by one as usual.

I can only set the time to search for yesterday.

Had his diary been discovered?His chest was found? ... His secret love was so ridiculously discovered by the person in charge?

Now he is like a hedgehog whose thorns have been plucked out, sucking every inch of flesh and blood for others to watch.Over and over in my mind, I couldn't stop replaying every subtle expression, slight movement, and even every sentence of that person, as if I was going crazy.

In the end Fang Weiming asked himself: How would he see himself...a gay who had been secretly in love with him for so many years, like a gangrene?

What he was most afraid of was whether that person would take back all the warmth he had unintentionally given him, leaving behind a disgusted expression, showing a cold disgust towards him on his face.

Like his dead mother.

Fang Weiming will never forget the quarrel between his parents when he was a child.

Awakened by the noise in the middle of the night, he rubbed his eyes and got up from the small bed, walked along the dark corridor to the only room with light, leaned gently on the wall, and saw through the crack of the door the tender and deeply loving father The mother's well-manicured sideburns were in disorder, and she ruthlessly threw everything she could get at her father, cursing hysterically, "Fang Yuanhe, don't lie to me anymore! I saw you two with my own eyes...you Why don't you die! Homosexuals who like men! Disgusting!...Fang Yuanhe, you make me sick! Don't touch me!"

"Axue, listen to me..." Father dodged the things she threw over him in embarrassment, and said in his mouth.

"What else do you need to explain? Ah? Say you are true love? Hahaha, true love? Then what am I?" His mother's crazy smile frightened him who was hiding behind the door, and he tightly covered his mouth.

"I want me to make room for you, dreaming! Even if I'm a ghost, I won't let you go!"

Even if I'm a ghost, I won't let you go!

……

Before his mother threw the last thing in his hand, he rushed out from behind the door, crying and calling her, "Mom, Dad, stop arguing..." There was still a sentence "I'm afraid" in his mouth, and he stopped talking before he could say it. In his throat, the last thing thrown out of his mother's hand hit his forehead like a black shadow. He closed his eyes in pain and covered his forehead. There was some sticky liquid From his forehead all the way to his chin, he looked at the ground through the blood red with difficulty.

is an ashtray.

Fang Weiming touched his right forehead, and there was a scar about two inches long where the hair covered it.

Jiang Yeqing next to him was not in his seat, so he didn't think too much about it. He just looked up at the clock in front of the classroom. It happened to be 12:30 noon, and the bell for the afternoon nap rang.The classroom was filled with the sound of sorting out books, and a few people went to the storage room to put pillows or other things in the cabinet, but after a few minutes, everyone fell asleep quietly on the desk, no matter if it was true or not. Sleeping or pretending to be asleep, you can hear a needle drop to the ground quietly in the classroom.

Fang Weiming, who had lasted all morning, was also a little tired.

He opened his hands, rested his head on his arms lightly, closed his eyes, his temples were bulging and throbbing, his head hurt so much.

When he fell into a drowsy sleep, and he didn't know how long it had passed, Fang Weiming seemed to hear a voice calling him from far, far away.

"Hey deskmate? Deskmate...Fang Weiming! Fang Weiming..."

This voice is so familiar, it warms my heart when I hear it...

He opened his mouth to answer this extremely anxious voice, but he couldn't make a sound no matter what. Similarly, he found that his eyes and limbs were as heavy as a thousand catties, and he couldn't open or move at all.

Fang Weiming was like a person stuck in a swamp, being dragged down and down by the cold and mud forcibly, and he couldn't break free no matter what.

Panic gradually permeated his heart slowly, and he began to be afraid.

What if there is no way to break free from this world forever, outside... who else is outside?Someone is waiting for him!Although his mind was muddled, he still firmly believed that someone was waiting for him!He is going to meet him!

Fang Weiming, whose limbs were heavy, seemed to feel that he was being carried by someone, and beside his ears was the panting sound of that person because of his rapid running.

The man's hands on his thighs were tightly held, and the body temperature was very hot, like two pieces of soldering iron were burned there.

Inexplicably, his face became inexplicably hot, as if infected by his hands, he dazedly pressed his face against the man's wide and safe back and rubbed it lightly, the skin was dry and torn His lips rubbed against the clothes on the back of the man, and it hurt a little.

"I rely on..."

The man seemed startled by his kitten-like dawdling, and a foul word popped out of his mouth.

For some reason, he was amused.

He grinned silently for a while, but he didn't even know what he was laughing at.

The man kicked open a door, ignored the voice of an aunt inside, put him off his back and put him on a place that was probably a bed.

Don't...how good it is on the back, he doesn't want to go down.

At this time, no one could hear the murmur of a patient in a daze, so it was naturally ignored.The aunt on the other side was already talking to that person loudly, who would have thought that the person's voice was louder than hers, "What kind of door is it! Is it important that someone can die at the door? Auntie, see a doctor first, okay?"

……

Jiang Yeqing looked at the patients on the hospital bed and then smirked while shaking his face that was redder than the stove. He was so frightened that he pushed the aunt in the infirmary who was still muttering beside him abruptly, "Look quickly!" Ah! You see, people are going to be burnt stupid! How can he smirk with a paralyzed face... Is there something wrong with the burning of the facial muscles?"

The drowsy Fang Weiming heard this sentence for the last time before he fainted again: "..."

【journal】

(After changing several places to hide the diary, he managed to calm down. He began to think about getting rid of the habit of keeping a diary, but he has kept it for so many years, and it is more terrible than drug addiction. How can it be so easy to quit? Try hard No results, take it out and continue to record.)

……

It's very comfortable on his back.

Sleep very well.

(Followed by a large area of ​​random chaotic lines drawn by water strokes, like a pile of garbled characters.)

……