SAYE

Li Yan didn't know what to pry the door open. When he came in, he held two glasses of water in his hand and turned on the light in the room with his elbow.

The light that suddenly filled the entire room made Gu Fei suffocate for a while, the throbbing pain radiating from his eyes quickly dissipated, and his head, neck and shoulders all felt sore.

He covered his eyes with his hand: "Turn off the light."

When these two words were said, both he and Li Yan were stunned. He could hardly recognize the dry voice as his own, as if he had swallowed sand in his mouth.

Li Yan put the water on the table, went to turn off the light, then turned on the small table lamp on the table, and pressed down the lampshade of the table lamp to face the table.

The light in the room dimmed, and Gu Fei felt much more comfortable.

"Er Miao, drink some water." Li Yan took a glass of water and squatted in front of Gu Miao, "Are you thirsty?"

It took a while for Gu Miao to move. She took the cup, held her head up and began to pour it into her mouth. After finishing the cup of water, she wiped her mouth.

"Are you hungry?" Li Yan said, "Er Miao, look at me, are you hungry? There are cakes on the table in the living room, and the kind of jelly you like."

Gu Miao didn't move, she looked at Gu Fei.

"Brother is fine," Li Yan said, "Brother will be there in a while, you go eat first."

Gu Miao slowly slid down the sofa and walked out against the wall.

Li Yan handed another glass of water on the table to Gu Fei: "What happened? The camera fell?"

Gu Fei didn't make a sound, and took a sip of water.

Probably because he didn't drink water, eat or talk for too long, and he actually felt a little stretched when the water passed through his throat.

After taking a few more sips, it got better, but it was still a little blocked. He only realized now that it should be swollen from the fire.

After slowly drinking a glass of water, Gu Fei felt that the numb feeling in his body subsided a little, but the package was followed by exhaustion and weakness.

Not physically, but rising from the bottom of my heart. I was deeply powerless, and I no longer wanted to move. Wherever the wind blows, he will fall, and wherever the water flows, he will drift.

Never want to do any more struggle.

"Did Jiang Cheng call you?" Gu Fei asked.

The voice is still dry and hoarse, and it is uncomfortable to hear it.

"Well," Li Yan said, "I told him that your phone was broken."

"Does he believe it?" Gu Fei said.

"I don't believe it." Li Yan said.

"My phone really broke." Gu Fei raised his hand, "Bring your phone and I'll use it."

Li Yan took out his mobile phone and put it in his hand.

When the phone fell into the palm of his hand, Gu Fei felt that his entire arm could not bear the weight, or at this moment, his phone was like a brick, and his hand grabbed the phone and hit the bed weakly. After a while, he said: "Go and accompany Er Miao for a while."

"Da Fei." Li Yan looked at him, as if he wanted to say something.

He didn't look at Li Yan. After standing beside him for a while, Li Yan turned and went out, closing the door behind him.

In the call history of Li Yan's cell phone, the most recent record is Jiang Cheng, who made the call an hour ago.

He stared at the name until the screen went black.

After being dazed for a long time, he turned on the screen again, and tapped Jiang Cheng's name with his fingertips.

Before the phone was raised to his ear, it vibrated lightly, and Jiang Cheng answered the phone: "Li Yan?"

"Me." Gu Fei said.

"Gu Fei?" There was anxiety in Jiang Cheng's voice, but there was also an emotion of sudden relief when he heard his voice, "I rely on you, is your phone really broken?"

"En." Gu Fei responded.

He closed his eyes as if he had never heard Jiang Cheng's voice in his whole life.

"What's wrong with you?" Jiang Cheng paused, "Are you sick? Why is your voice so hoarse?"

"Get angry." Gu Fei said.

"Is... did something happen?" Jiang Cheng asked.

This somewhat hesitant, cautious inquiry made Gu Fei feel as if he had been pinched by someone.

"Er Miao broke the lens of my camera." Gu Fei said.

"Ah, I didn't hold it steady." Jiang Cheng was stunned, and then his tone became more relaxed, "Is it just for this? Which lens is it? I'll just give you one, your brother Cheng just got it today paid for tutoring."

"I broke the phone." Gu Fei said.

"It's okay," Jiang Cheng smiled, "Your phone has been used for a long time anyway, last time when you played Love Match for you, you put a big trick card for a few seconds before you activated it, change it, Brother Cheng will change it for you... ..."

"You," Gu Fei interrupted Brother Cheng, his obviously disbelieving yet forcibly relaxed tone made him gasp in pain, "Can you leave me alone?"

Jiang Cheng suddenly lost his voice.

Gu Fei didn't speak either.

After being silent for a while, Jiang Cheng opened his mouth, "What do you mean?"

"How many jobs have you had?" Gu Fei asked.

"Only two tutors," Jiang Cheng said, "On weekends..."

"Two copies are not enough," Gu Fei said, "There are many places to spend money."

"Huh?" Jiang Cheng was stunned.

"Three, four, maybe it's enough." Gu Fei closed his eyes, "I have to study, review, study psychology, work part-time, and think about my boyfriend and my boyfriend's sister."

Jiang Cheng didn't make a sound.

"Do you really look in the mirror?" Gu Fei said, "Don't you know how tired you are?"

"I'm not tired." Jiang Cheng said, his voice was a bit stiff.

"You've been studying there for a semester. Apart from tutoring, have you ever left the school for one kilometer?" Gu Fei said, "You said several times that your classmates went out to play, why didn't you go?"

Jiang Cheng remained silent.

"You don't have time to go," Gu Fei said, "because you have to spend your rest time on your boyfriend and his sister."

"Everyone is working hard, and I don't think I'm any different," Jiang Cheng said, "I'm not interested in going anywhere."

"Why are you falling in love?" Gu Fei said, "Don't you know what you've made of yourself when you're falling in love?"

"There is no fixed pattern for falling in love, everyone's love is different, why do you have to be like others?" Jiang Cheng's voice became a little hoarse, "I said I don't feel anything, I am willing, I am not tired, And Er Miao's illness has already..."

"But I'm tired." Gu Fei said.

The receiver suddenly became very quiet, only Jiang Cheng's breathing could be heard.

After a long time, he asked, "What?"

"I'm tired." Gu Fei repeated.

"What did you say?" Jiang Cheng's voice was trembling, so hoarse that he lost his voice in the second half of the sentence.

"I'm tired, Brother Cheng," Gu Fei said slowly, "Stop pulling me, and I don't want to be dragged by anyone anymore, forget it."

There was no sound at all from Jiang Cheng's side, and he couldn't even hear the sound of breathing before.

Gu Fei held the phone in front of his eyes, tapped to hang up, and then turned off Li Yan's phone.

"Are you okay?" Zhao Ke stood in the toilet with Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng didn't speak, but just waved his hands at him.

"It's only one hour, I vomited three times." Zhao Ke looked at the time, "I've become dumb, are you okay?"

Jiang Cheng coughed twice, then turned around and went to the side of the sink to wash his face. After splashing water on his face for at least a dozen times, he finally recovered from the great pain caused by his churning and constricting stomach.

"Go to the hospital to see?" Zhao Ke followed him to the dormitory, "I ate and drank the same as you all day long, you must have eaten too much, go and have a look, don't be sick Huh? Your voice suddenly became hoarse!"

Jiang Cheng took out his mobile phone, clicked on the notepad, and typed a few words.

- stress response

"Stress?" Zhao Ke looked at him, "What stimulated you to be so stressed?"

- you go to class first, I'll just sleep

Jiang Cheng cupped his fists at him, turned around and entered the dormitory, climbed onto the bed without even taking off his clothes, and closed his eyes as soon as he hit the pillow.

"Call me if you have anything to do." Zhao Ke poured water into his thermos and put it on the bedside, climbed up the stairs and covered him with the quilt, and walked out after standing by the bed for a while.

Go to sleep.

fall asleep.

fall asleep immediately.

It's fine when you fall asleep, you don't know when you fall asleep, you don't feel uncomfortable when you fall asleep, you don't remember when you fall asleep...

Go to sleep.

Don't think about anything, go to sleep.

But I'm tired.

I'm tired.

I'm tired, Brother Cheng.

You stop pulling me.

sleep.

Go to sleep.

Please, Jiang Cheng, go to sleep quickly.

fall asleep.

Gu Fei gave up.

Gu Fei actually gave up.

Jiang Cheng felt that his teeth were clenched tightly, his whole body was tense, and even his toes seemed to be hooked tightly.

His hands were also clenched into fists.

The thumb in the palm of the hand was gripped with a dull pain.

The pain in his stomach started again, but he knew he couldn't vomit anything, there was no more water.

He huddled into a ball, trying to relieve the discomfort from being stirred up in his stomach, but it was useless, and the uncomfortable feeling soon spread to his chest.

His heart seemed to be grabbed and squeezed, he couldn't breathe, every time he took a breath, there would be pain from his chest, crawling along the nerves to his whole body.

Chest, back, arms...

I'm about to have a heart attack.

Jiang Cheng, do you have a heart attack?

He laughed.

I laughed so hard I couldn't stop.

But he couldn't hear his own voice, his throat was completely silent, and he couldn't even laugh.

Tears still flowed out.

It's not easy.

He originally thought that he wouldn't cry anymore, he was completely blinded, and he couldn't come back to his senses, he thought he would just carry it through like this.

But still cried.

I cried quite sadly.

Bitch.

Tears were actually not too many, Jiang Cheng wiped his face, probably because he couldn't make a sound.

It turned out that the voice was hoarse, and I couldn't laugh or cry.

The hand touched something soft.

Jiang Cheng opened his eyes, and the sunny baby next to the pillow was looking at him, his black eyes were very bright.

At this moment, Jiang Cheng felt that he was about to collapse.

He took the doll into his arms and hugged it tightly.

what--

He wanted to cry hoarsely, crying hard, loudly, and crying with all his strength might make him feel a little better.

But no.

All he could hear was the rustling of his own mute.

It's so frustrating.

It was so unpleasant.

Jiang Cheng spent the whole night in bed, not knowing whether he was awake or asleep, and he was confused all night long.

When I opened my eyes, I could see a small piece of sunlight on the wall beside the bed.

He stared at it for a long time.

"Jiang Cheng," Zhao Ke's voice came from under the bed, "There is porridge, get up and have some porridge."

Ok.

Jiang Cheng wanted to respond, but his voice was still silent, it seemed that he was more completely hoarse than before.

He sighed softly and sat up slowly.

His hair grew up, and the moment he sat up, he felt that all the weight inside and outside of his body was falling down, so that he couldn't even straighten his waist.

The sunny baby was still in his arms, and his eyes were still bright.

He put the doll back by the pillow, thought for a while after withdrawing his hand, reached out again, and patted it on the head twice.

When he got off the bed, Zhao Ke, who had never said a word of foul language, looked at him and expressed his heartfelt emotion: "Fuck."

Jiang Cheng touched his face, and it felt okay, but he couldn't feel anything.

...Worried all night?

He quickly opened the drawer and took out the mirror to take a look.

The hair is still black, which is fine.

But the hair is messy, the eyes are swollen, and the face looks dirty, and there are spots pressed out by the pillow cover. Apart from these, the complexion is quite ugly, yellow and dark.

After throwing the mirror back in the drawer, he took out a wet tissue and dabbed it all over his face.

"Is your throat better?" Zhao Ke opened a lunch box on his table.

Jiang Cheng cleared his throat, tried to say "ah", but there was no sound, he shook his head, sat down in front of the table, took the spoon handed by Zhao Ke, bowed his head and began to drink the porridge.

"Do you still want to throw up?" Zhao Ke sat next to him and asked.

Jiang Cheng shook his head.

"That's okay," Zhao Ke said, "You vomited too much yesterday. Lu Shi and Qi Qi went to buy a bunch of medicine at night, something to stop vomiting and enteritis."

Jiang Cheng turned his head and smiled at him.

"You're smiling like this now," Zhao Ke sighed, "I'll take a photo of you and send it out, and I promise that your name will no longer appear on the confession wall."

Jiang Cheng lowered his head to the lunch box and had a blast.

Silently.

"You can ask for leave later," Zhao Ke said, "take another morning off."

Jiang Cheng shook his head.

"Not asking for leave?" Zhao Ke looked at him.

Jiang Cheng shook his head.

"...isn't it a long time?" Zhao Ke said.

Jiang Cheng touched the phone and pressed it a few times and handed it to him.

- i can't stop

"... Whatever you want," Zhao Ke glanced at him and stood up, "Then eat quickly, there are many people in today's class, and you will have to sit at the back when you go late."

Probably because he didn't sleep well, when Jiang Cheng went to wash up, he felt the soles of his feet fluttering, and the soles of his shoes were softer than ever before.

When he washed his face, he felt that he was much more awake, but when he straightened up, the coldness on his face disappeared, and his whole body returned to chaos.

When he followed Zhao Ke to the classroom, he felt like he was walking through the fog.

Can't see clearly, can't hear clearly, can't step on it, as if after a hangover.

"Do you want me to help you?" Zhao Ke turned around and asked.

roll.Jiang Cheng smiled back.

"Although I don't like to meddle in other people's affairs," Zhao Ke slowed down and walked side by side with him, "but if you really want to talk to someone, I can still listen to it."

Jiang Cheng pointed to his throat.

"After you can speak." Zhao Ke said.

Jiang Cheng nodded.

Prefer not to say.

I don't want to say anything.

Jiang Cheng doesn't want to talk about this matter with anyone now.

He couldn't think about it at all, and he didn't want to think about it.

Why did Gu Fei behave like this.

What kind of mood did Gu Fei feel when he said such words.

why.

why?

The person who said I was your back suddenly said something like this.

Calm and indifferent, not even leaving him a wiggle room.

why?

I have no home anymore, Gu Fei.

But it's okay with you, you're family.

Jiang Cheng can't bear this feeling of losing everything and having no sense of reality.

There were quite a lot of people in the classroom, Lu Shi waved to them, and they squeezed over and sat down.

"Jiang Cheng, are you alright?" Zhang Qiqi sat in the front row and looked back at him, "You look very pale."

Jiang Cheng shook his head, took out the book, put it in front of him, opened it and began to read.

Introduction to Economic Law, apart from these five words, Jiang Cheng never understood the sixth word.

He closed his eyes.

It wasn't until the teacher started to teach that he opened his eyes again and forced himself to focus on the teacher.

Usually no matter what, he can do it.

But today he failed a little. After listening to the teacher's voice for at most 1 minute, he started to feel a little dazed.

He had to close his eyes again, adjust his breathing, and open them again.

This state didn't last long, and he began to feel tired, the kind of exhaustion that seemed to sink his body through the chair, through the floor, and sink to the deepest point.

He originally wanted to finish this class, if he couldn't, he would go back to the dormitory and sleep for a while.

But the stomach hurts again.

Why is it so delicate? He pressed his hand on his stomach.

Contestant Jiang Cheng is very fragile right now, and can't bear any blows. I think if he can't adjust to this state in a short time, it will be very troublesome.

Jiang Cheng couldn't make it to the end of get out of class, and the strong feeling of wanting to vomit struck again, and now there was something to vomit in his stomach.

He stood up clutching his stomach, and couldn't wait for Zhao Ke next to him to make room for him, so he raised his leg and stepped over, but as soon as his feet landed on the aisle, the churning in his stomach made him a little weak.

"Want to vomit?" Zhao Ke helped him and asked in a low voice.

Jiang Cheng didn't bother to respond, he bent over and ran towards the door of the classroom.

After running two steps, I found that I was about to finish.

Yesterday's feeling of fatigue that almost collapsed from vomiting suddenly appeared, and it became difficult for him to even walk.

I fuck.

When his left foot was tripped by his right foot and he jumped forward, he felt that his life was extremely exciting.

Everyone look!Such a scene is very rare!Contestant Jiang Cheng ran around in a classroom full of students and performed a beautiful spinning twist!

"Didn't you have an old mobile phone?" Mom was rummaging through the drawers in the living room, "Where did you put it? Take it out and use it first?"

"No need." Gu Fei said.

"Then what are you using now?" Mom looked at him.

"I don't need a mobile phone anymore." Gu Fei said.

"You..." My mother looked at him and wanted to say something, but she didn't say anything after a long time.

There was class today, Gu Fei looked at the clock on the wall, he would be late if he didn't go out.

Then be late.

Or skip class.

He sat on the sofa without moving, looking at Gu Miao who was lying on the tea table drawing.

Gu Miao has been very quiet these past few days and doesn't have much contact with people, whether it's body or eyes.

I didn't play much on the skateboard, I just kept drawing. There were rows of green rabbits, and there was a thick pile of paper filled with drawings beside it.

He got up and went back to his room.

There is a lens on the table, Ding Zhuxin bought it, it is better than his original one.

However, he didn't throw away the old lens that was broken. Although he didn't know what to do with it and many things, he still kept it.

For example, the colorful fluorescent bricks in the cabinet in the closet.

He closed the doors and windows, drew the curtains, and after the light in the room dimmed, he opened the door of the closet against the wall, took a chair and sat in front of him, lit a cigarette and drank it.

Looking at the closet where all the clothes have been emptied, several large bricks are neatly stacked.

After smoking three cigarettes, the room was rang by Gu Miao.

Gu Fei stood up, closed the cabinet door, drew the curtains, and opened the window. When the north wind swept in, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Gu Miao stood outside the door, holding a piece of paper in his hand. After he opened the door, Gu Miao handed the paper to him.

He took it over and looked at it. It was a green rabbit that Gu Miao had just finished drawing.

"It's so beautiful." Gu Fei said.

Gu Miao turned around and went back to the coffee table to lie down and continue drawing.

"I'll go out for a while." Gu Fei folded the paintings and put them next to the pillow, then picked up the camera on the table, "If I don't come back at noon, you can go to the shop to eat by yourself."

Gu Miao didn't respond, and concentrated on drawing.

Gu Fei glanced at her, opened the door and walked out.

Snowing.

The skateboarding was quite big, and it seemed that the skateboarding time was not short, but he didn't pay attention all the time, no wonder Gu Miao didn't go out to skateboard.

He pulled the scarf, buttoned the hood of the down jacket, and his hands shook slightly as he pulled the zipper.

"Let's buy two, for couples, what?" Jiang Cheng said standing beside him.

After hesitating for a few seconds, Gu Fei turned around and went back home, found another down jacket to replace this one, and went out again.

He didn't ride a bike, didn't drive a motorcycle, and didn't drive Xiaomantou, just walked slowly along the road with his camera bag.

The place hasn't changed much in decades, and the streets haven't been widened.

Every inch, every step, every glance, has countless traces.

People who come and go leave traces.

But the traces that you can remember are often only one person.

He stood at a corner looking at your back.

He stood at a window and aimed his slingshot at you.

……

Gu Fei sniffed, opened the scarf a little, and the cold wind poured into his body along his chin and neck, and he quickened his pace.

No one hurdles in winter.

Standing on the edge of the roof, there is thick ground under your feet, and the north wind whistling in your ears.

When I raised my eyes and looked forward, everything was covered by white snow.

Gu Fei raised his camera and looked at this suddenly strange world through the viewfinder.