put on a show

Xing Pei is not a person who is very good at hiding himself. He has a wanton and flamboyant personality, so he can do whatever is comfortable, as long as it is not related to his job future, he can do whatever he wants.If Pei Qing had to go to the production team, the production team even hinted to Pei Qing that the overlord would fight hard, and he ran over to him non-stop after returning from Africa, felt it, and confessed it in one breath.

What Xing Pei said was true, he really liked Pei Qinghuan, otherwise he wouldn't have taken the initiative to go to him over and over again.He has never had such an experience. This man gave him the experience of being both a father and a brother, a teacher and a friend. At the same time, he is a gentle lover who knows and knows what to do. Xing Pei felt that he was about to drown in his arms.

He hoped that this experience would continue, and hoped that such a person belonged only to him, so he had an unprecedented idea of ​​wanting to fall in love with him.

When Xing Pei uttered the word "like", he was first demented by the passionate emotion bursting out of his chest, and was a little dizzy with intoxication.He leaned forward again and kissed his favorite Teacher Pei. After a while, he realized that Pei Qing hadn't responded to him.Xing Pei raised his bewildered and bewildered face, and met Pei Qing's cold and serious eyes.

This look poured down Xing Pei's head like a basin of ice water, and he felt a twinge of pain in his heart, and he immediately woke up.

Pei Qinghuan's arms were open, like a wide open door, urging him to leave.Xing Pei got up from his lap, looked down at Pei Qinghuan condescendingly, and said in a provocative tone, "What's the matter, Teacher Pei, can you tell me something?"

The corners of Pei Qing's mouth were still tensed, and after a while, he said coldly: "Xing Pei, don't be impulsive, this kind of joke is not funny."

Xing Pei immediately became angry: "If you can do it, you can do it, if you can't do it, you can't do it. I'm not fucking joking with you, so don't use such words to prevaricate me."

Looking at Xing Pei's angry staring eyes, Pei Qing still felt uncomfortable.Xing Pei caught him off guard, and he never expected that Xing Pei would suddenly make such a request.He thought he was 25 years old, so he wouldn't do such an impulsive thing.He thought that if Xing Pei was a little more mature, he should know that this question would terminate their relationship.To be honest, Pei Qing is still very reluctant, even if he knows it won't last long, he still wants to stay in this illusion for a little longer.

"Xing Pei...we are not suitable."

"Why isn't it suitable? Let's hear it." Xing Pei crossed his arms, he wanted to hear whether Pei Qing was still inappropriate.

"You're 25 and I'm 38..."

Xing Pei couldn't wait, so he interrupted Pei Qing and said, "You want to say that you are 13 years older than me, and we have a generation gap? Do you want to say that you are not good enough for me, or that your family is from a scholarly family, and that a traffic star like me is not worthy? "Xing Pei said angrily, "Let me tell you, I don't care, and I don't think you care about these things. Don't use such plausible reasons to dismiss me."

"That's not it, calm down."

"My surname is Pei, do you like me?" Xing Pei lay on top of Pei Qing, pressed his hands on the armrest of the chair, wrapped Pei Qing in his arms, stared oppressively into his eyes, if what he said in his eyes If it is inconsistent with what he said, Xing Pei will give him a punch without hesitation.

Pei Qing still looked at Xing Pei, his throat moved, and he said, "I like you, I like you, but it's not just because I like you."

Xing Pei took his hands back and hugged his arms. Hearing that Mr. Pei liked him, he calmed down a little: "I like you, you like me, what else is inappropriate?"

Pei Qing lowered his eyes and said very sincerely: "I am 38 years old. At this age, there is not much sincere love left in my heart. I dare not give it to you so easily. Do you understand? "

"What do you mean? Do you mean that I don't deserve your sincerity? What about Qu Lian, a straight man, it is impossible for him to have such feelings for you in his life. You have loved him so fucking stupidly for so many years, and now you Tell me this? Don't you just fucking not like me?"

"It has nothing to do with my senior brother, don't bring others into it."

As soon as he heard the word "senior brother", Xing Pei became angry, and the sparks on his head began to explode.

"Why can't you bring him in? Don't you mean that I can't replace him in your heart. In my opinion, he is a waste and you are a fool."

Pei Qing also stood up in a "babble", clenched his fists, and punched the desk with one fist.He was finally set on fire by the little bastard Xing Pei again: "Xing Pei, don't go too far."

"I'm just telling the truth," Xing Pei began to feel aggrieved. He didn't know why he couldn't compare to that 40-year-old useless dim sum. Pei Qing would only play tricks with him, so he couldn't give him any sincerity." Pei Qing also, why do you want to treat me like this?"

"What did I do to you? As far as our current relationship is concerned, I'm good enough to you."

"Can't you be true to me?" Xing Pei cried and said, "It's all fucking fake, I'm the only one who is stupid, taking the fake as real, and the scenes you acted as real."

Pei Qing also took a deep breath, stared at Xing Pei deeply and sadly, and said word by word: "Xing Pei, I came out with my parents, and my parents have always asked me to bring people home. I don't care about others Regarding my opinion, I am not afraid of the impact of my orientation on my career. I can love you and love you with the most sincere heart and sincerity, and treat you as seriously as I treat my life partner. first."

"I don't ask you to come out to your family for me, nor will your career be affected. I can be your underground lover and try to cooperate with your future career planning. I only have one request, always be with me, Don't leave, don't break up, can you do it?"

Pei Qing's helpless and sad tone made people uncomfortable, but Xing Pei fell silent.He felt that his throat was a little dry and his breathing was not very smooth. Contrary to the series of accusations he made when he was angry just now, he began to be at a loss, hesitating: "I, I didn't think so much."

Pei Qing also swallowed a mouthful of saliva, and also swallowed a bitter mouthful: "I thought for you, but you can't do it. You are only 25 years old, you are so beautiful, your life is full of possibilities, and there are countless variables in career and love. You are not a person who likes the same level, you like challenges and adventures, and you will pursue a bigger and wider world. One day, you will feel that I am your stumbling block."

"I'm not young anymore, I can't bear to be abandoned by my little boyfriend in my forties, and I can't get up from a relationship and say I'm fine. What I want is a stable and ordinary life, you can't give it, so we are not suitable. "

Xing Pei opened his mouth and found himself speechless.

Pei Qing also sighed: "You go, I hope we can still be friends in the future."

"If you can't do it, forget it."

He said these words almost heartlessly, and then sat back on the chair weakly.

Xing Pei paused, then turned to leave, the sound of footsteps getting farther and farther away, until finally the door was closed.

Pei Qing still regretted it, he shouldn't have left Xing Pei here to spend the night a day ago, no, he shouldn't have been allowed in at all, the momentary surprise, the momentary confusion, the momentary loss of sanity, in exchange for At this moment, he was worried for 24 hours.

In the short 24 hours, it was the warmth and sweetness that Pei Qing had never had in all these years. 24 hours were split into minutes and seconds, and every minute and second turned into a spring rain, moistening the land that had been dry for many years, and the grass and flowers couldn't wait to start growing and blooming.

Xing Pei probably wouldn't understand that between the two of them, Pei Qing was the emotionally weak one, because he couldn't afford to lose, so he was so emotionally restrained and cautious, not even daring to be presumptuous at all.

Pei Qing is also such a mild-mannered person, likes and hates right and wrong are very clear in his eyes, if he likes it, he likes it, and he will not hide it at all.But that dark first love in his youth almost exhausted him and made him feel afraid.When the emotional black hole grows bigger, he also becomes a black hole, only numb himself with alcohol and desire/desire.

The years when he was about the same age as Xing Pei were the darkest moments of his life. He drank heavily every night, vomited, had a hangover, and got up from a pile of flesh in the morning to continue playing his outstanding young actor.He began to be confused about which one was the real self and which one was played by him. He was in a daze, day and night, reality and illusion were almost unclear.It wasn't until Mother Pei found out a tumor that Pei Qing suddenly woke up from that nightmare. Fortunately, the tumor was benign.

He began to seek professional help, learned to control himself, and forcibly pulled out the dark half of himself.It was his nightmare, and it kept alerting him, making him willing to live an ordinary life like plain boiled water, holding the last bit of sincerity in his hands, holding on tighter as he got older, and not daring to hand it over to others at will.

But the grass and flowers that Xing Pei gave him have begun to take root.They still crossed the line, so when faced with this irreconcilable contradiction, they all felt painful.

Pei Qing also thought that if he met Xing Pei at the age of 30, he would definitely not back down.Xing Pei is so cute and dazzling, as long as he thinks he can still afford to lose, even if he knows he will fail, he will try.If Xing Pei is not 25 now, but 35, and has gradually recognized the truth of life and clarified his real needs, he has chosen Pei Qinghuan, and Pei Qinghuan will definitely accompany him to the end.

But the reality is that Xing Pei is only 25 years old, and he is already 38.At an age of constant trial and error, Xing Pei met Pei Qinghuan who no longer knows how to make mistakes, and there is really nothing he can do.

That's it, Pei Qing still thought sadly.As sad as it is, maybe that's the right thing to do.Xing Pei put forward the request in time and got the conclusion in time, so they were able to stop the loss in time.If there is no future relationship, it will not be good for both of them to continue to be entangled like this.