If you wear it fast, you will return the scum

"Yes, very good. He is the first person so far to fill up the regret value earlier than the love value." While sleeping, Wen Fei got into the system space, comfortably eating fruit, and watching Ding Yisen's heart Waves rise and fall.

It's been a long time since Maoqiu has seen his unrestrained appearance. He actually likes to see his host's free and easy way of playing with the overall situation. It feels very cool.

"Host, he is about to die of regret now."

While admiring Ding Yisen's patterned crying, Wen Fei stuffed a green tea into his mouth leisurely.

"If regret is useful, why do you need the system?"

Mao Qiu took a look at Ding Yisen and said to him, "Master host, how are you going to abuse him?"

"I haven't thought about it yet, give me some time to think about it." Wen Fei broke off the banana, peeled the skin and began to eat.

Mao Qiu tilted his head and said, "Host, I don't think he is as scumbag as the previous targets."

Wen Fei chewed, chewed, finished what was in his mouth, and asked, "Oh? How should I say it?"

"The only two times he hurt you with words were out of anger after losing his father, and after that, he missed you in his own way. His love for you is no less than anyone else." Mao Qiu carefully looked at Wen Fei's face, and continued, "So you will torture him as badly as the previous ones?"

Wen Fei finished eating the bananas slowly before replying: "You are wrong. To me, he is the whole meaning of my existence. Everything I do is for him, but his departure directly leads to the loss of my life." Deprived Jiang Yifan of the last ray of sunshine, who lived in the dark, low self-esteem and cowardice, far more unbearable than any physical torture. Facing Ding Fengyi's threats, he thought it was for me to obey Ding Fengyi's arrangement Protection, decided my future on my own, but didn't consider whether I would like this ending."

"Three years of indifference, all my expectations, persistence, and love have been polished away." Wen Fei threw the banana peel into the trash can, "His departure is the greatest harm to me."

ALS, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, often died within 3-5 years after the disease.

Ding Yisen looked at the information searched on the phone, and repeatedly rubbed the year with his fingers.

He didn't sleep all night, and the next morning, even though he applied ice to his eyes, they were still a bit swollen.They all cried out.

Ding Yisen has already greeted the nursing home, saying that he will take care of Jiang Yifan next.

Jiang Yifan still didn't have much energy, he was lying on the bed, he couldn't even get up by himself, he needed help from others.

Ding Yisen walked in, took him out of the quilt, and put on clothes for him.

Jiang Yifan stretched out his hand, and habitually touched under the quilt.

Ding Yisen understood immediately and took out the tablet for him.

Jiang Yifan froze for a moment, reached out to take it, entered the password to unlock the screen lock, and communicated with him through documents as before.

You should go to the cemetery.

He typed such a line.

Ding Yisen was a little puzzled, he asked: "What am I going to do in the cemetery?"

Jiang Yifan paused, his fingers trembling a little.

He wrote:

Today is……

He typed a pinyin "b" and quickly deleted it, writing:

...the anniversary of your father's death.

Ding Yisen was stunned for a moment, he suddenly thought that Jiang Yifan was planning to write "dad" directly, but temporarily changed it to "your dad".

He felt that his chest had been pricked by the needle point. It didn't hurt very much, but it was extremely uncomfortable.

But Ding Fengyi is not today...

Ding Yisen was taken aback for a moment, then woke up like a dream.

"Yifan, Dad didn't die at that time, he was shot, but he was not fatally injured. He just passed away not long ago, because of a heart attack..."

Jiang Yifan quietly listened to him, the disbelief in his eyes gradually turned into emptiness.

He opened his lips and uttered a few vague words: "He... lied to me."

Ding Yisen discovered a pattern, because speaking is inconvenient, most of the time he chooses to type.

But when he gets emotional, he talks.

Ding Yisen's heart ached so much that he wanted to hold him tightly in his arms.

It took Jiang Yifan a long time to calm down, he turned his head to look at Ding Yisen again, then typed on the keyboard and wrote:

You should go back.

"Where?"

go back to your house.Jiang Yifan wrote.

After a while, he added another sentence.

Go back and be with your wife and kids.

Ding Yisen almost laughed out loud after reading it, but when he thought of Jiang Yifan's mood when he typed this sentence, his smile froze on his face again.

He knelt down and held Jiang Yifan's face with both hands.

He knew that Jiang Yifan couldn't dodge because of his limited mobility, look, how despicable he is, to have to rely on this method to talk to him.

"Yifan, I have already divorced her, the child is not mine."

Jiang Yifan stared at him steadfastly, his eyes soon fainted with mist.

He moved his mouth and made a mouth shape.

Ding Yisen could see that what he said was "you lied to me".

"I didn't lie to you. Yang Feiyan, do you still remember. The 'rape' three years ago was planned by her. She tied you up and pretended to be like that. Her real identity is our sister."

Jiang Yifan typed on the tablet:

It's you, not us.

Ding Yisen laughed, and even felt that this Jiang Yifan was too cute.

So he told him everything that had happened over the years.

After Jiang Yifan listened quietly, the expression in his eyes kept changing.

Sometimes surprised, sometimes angry.

He had so much to say, but he couldn't get it out, his tongue wouldn't listen to him.

He is like a babbling child, he has a lot of emotions he wants to express, but he can't express them.His eyes were red with anxiety, his face was flushed with anxiety, but he could only utter broken, unsentenced words.

Ding Yisen hugged him tightly, like they did when they were most intimate.He couldn't hear what Jiang Yifan couldn't say, but he felt his anger and sadness.

Ding Yisen proposed to take him to the United States for treatment, he said that there is the most advanced technology there, and it would be better than staying in a nursing home.

Jiang Yifan didn't object, and let Ding Yisen pack his luggage for him.

He had very few things, Ding Yisen cleaned up and cleaned up, and managed to sort out two boxes.

Ding Yisen's biological mother is American, and he also has some relatives there.Ding Yisen called them, and after confirming that there was someone to answer them, he booked a ticket to the United States.

Jiang Yifan continued as usual, taking medicine, treatment, sleeping, and eating.

Ever since Ding Yisen took over the various matters of taking care of Jiang Yifan, no one else had the chance to get close to him.

Whether it's taking a bath, taking medicine, or changing clothes to go to the toilet, Ding Yisen will help him.

Jiang Yifan didn't have much room to resist, he was already a useless person, no matter how he didn't like it, he could only let him play around.

Even though Ding Yisen was out of kindness.

But he didn't want this kindness.

He does not need Ding Yisen's sympathy and pity, nor his help.

He hated himself for being so immobile.He is already dark enough, why bother to appear in front of him again and again.

Ding Yisen's perfection set off his embarrassment even more.

Once he was his light, illuminating his dark world warmly and brightly.But then the light stopped shining on him.

He had been in the dark for three years, and he had long since lost sight of what it was like to open his heart in front of others.Ding Yisen is still shining brightly, but he can no longer shine into his heart, and can no longer warm any part of the ground in his chest.

It pales in comparison.

The former Jiang Yifan, even if he was down and out, still had to maintain that nobility and elegance.That was his disguise, his protective layer.He is the proud Jiang Yifan, he feels that only that kind of him can match Ding Yisen.

At that time, he still had the courage and confidence to be with Ding Yisen, but now, those things that supported him are gone.

Sometimes when he looks at himself in the mirror, and Ding Yisen's handsome face like an ancient Greek god, he can't help but have all kinds of vicious thoughts in his heart.You see, how ugly I am, it is extremely ugly.

He was curled up in the wheelchair like a wretch whose spine had been removed.Can't move, can't walk.

His proud appearance and demeanor all left him.

He is not good enough for Ding Yisen.

A sense of inferiority enveloped him, like an invisible foot, stomping him into the swamp that was already full of decay, until he could no longer get up.

He knew he would never be able to stand up again.

Even if the disease can be cured, he will no longer have the ability to walk side by side with Ding Yisen.

The original punishment almost broke all his bones and injured his spine.He's been in a wheelchair all his life, he's been dragged around like a piece of shit all his life.

What's more, there is no cure for this disease. It can only be controlled and delayed. It's like spraying preservatives on a piece of meat. Even if it can be delayed for a long time, it will still rot in the end.

He looked at his right hand, which could no longer move.

He used to be able to hold a gun and hold a knife skillfully with this hand, but now he can't even move his fingers.

What is the meaning of such a life, Jiang Yifan thought.

Even though he didn't want to admit it, he still had to admit that the reason why he survived to this day was just to see Ding Yisen again.

He doesn't accept that kind of breakup, he doesn't accept that kind of separation.

Just because of the mistake he made unintentionally, and because of Ding Fengyi's death that he made unintentionally but indirectly caused—and Ding Fengyi didn't die, and the mistake wasn't made, and he still lost everything because of it.

His love, his ability, his health, his pride.

He was like this, even he looked down on himself, he didn't know how Ding Yisen could bear it.He always looked at him with eyes full of love, and did everything carefully and responsibly, whether it was wiping his saliva or helping him wash the dirty sheets due to incontinence, he never No complaints.

It seemed to be atonement, but it also seemed to be asking for forgiveness, and it was more like trying to make up for the mistake of not being by his side for the past three years.

Although Ding Yisen couldn't guess what Jiang Yifan was thinking, he clearly felt that his mood was very low.

He thought that he was a little unhappy because he was about to leave his hometown, but sometimes he looked at Jiang Yifan's reaction, and it didn't seem like that.

He wanted Jiang Yifan to be happy, but he didn't know what to do to make him happy.

He was like an apple that had lost its moisture, crumpled and lifeless.

The day before we left for America, it rained heavily outside.

Ding Yisen poured water from the washbasin for him, and when he returned to the room, he found him shaking.

He was lying on the bed, his face was pale, and his teeth were chattering.

Thunder roared outside, and the rain poured down.

The broken bones rebelled in Jiang Yifan's body, and the pain came wave after wave, torturing him so much that he wished he could just die like this.

Ding Yisen sensed something was wrong and called the doctor to treat him.

Painkillers are used, but they are just a drop in the bucket.

He was still in pain, and passed out from the pain, waking up again and again.

He was sweating all over, curled up, trembling, pitiful and helpless.

Ding Yisen wished he could bear it for him.

He held Jiang Yifan's hand tightly, just like when he was sick when he was a child, he whispered in his ear, hugged him, and tried to share his pain.

After tossing and tossing until midnight, Jiang Yifan fell into a deep sleep in pain and exhaustion.

Ding Yisen still had to force himself to get out of bed and prepare hot water for him to scrub his body.

In the bathroom, Ding Yisen was feeding him hot water, while looking at the water surface, he let out a low-pitched roar like a beast from his throat.

If he hadn't left then, wouldn't Jiang Yifan be what he is now?

He covered his face, tears streaming from between his fingers.

When Jiang Yifan needed him the most, he was not by his side.

He made him wait alone for so long, if he came a year or two later, right, there would be no way to see him again.

In the past, he thought that being sad and heartbroken was just a poet's exaggeration, but at this time, he finally felt the pain of heartbroken heart deeply.

He wiped away his tears, poured in cold water, and turned off the tap until the water was neither hot nor cold.

He carried the basin, returned to the room, put the basin on the ground, lifted the quilt, and took off Jiang Yifan's clothes and pants.

No matter how many times he saw that skinny body, he couldn't get used to it.

He thought of his healthy body before, of his pale but delicate skin, of every entanglement of their limbs in the middle of the night, and their uncontrollable gasps.

He misses the past, chewing grass roots like a lonely traveler.

He wrung out the towel and wiped Jiang Yifan's body.

The thin flesh and blood wrapped around the skeleton, as if it would break if it was forced hard.

Ding Yisen pulled Jiang Yifan's hair back from his forehead, lowered his head and kissed the corners of his eyes and eyebrows, the center of his eyebrows, the bridge of his nose and cheeks, and his lips.His movements were gentle and loving, like kissing a soft feather, as if he was afraid that he would disturb his dream.

It was hard for him to imagine the days of losing Jiang Yifan, just thinking about it made his heart ache.

How could he not love him, he thought.

Every inch of his body expresses his love for Jiang Yifan.This love was mixed with guilt, mixed with pity, and piercing to the bone, yet it made him unable to stop.

He once again had the idea of ​​staying with him for the rest of his life, he wanted to grow old together with Jiang Yifan, until the two of them were too old to walk anymore, looked at each other, and smirked with mouths that had lost all their teeth.

But his life is still so long, Jiang Yifan can't wait.