[Comprehensive] Central Plains

Back at Dazai's house, Chuya Nakahara threw himself in front of the computer to search for ways to grow taller in this era.

One: One cup of dairy products per day.

Two: Do ​​at least 30 minutes of stretching every day.

Three: Sufficient and high-quality sleep.

Four: look at genetic potential.

The first one is easy to do. Nakahara Chuya’s gaze stayed on the second one, and he saw the important point mentioned later: exercise can stimulate the growth of height, but exercises such as "weightlifting" and "weight bearing" Not suitable.

For the sake of the future, he decisively removed the gravity exerted on his body. Without the pressure of gravity, the muscles instantly relaxed, and the bones also gave off a comfortable feeling similar to "sigh".

Zhong Yuanzhong also scratched his hair, "The third one is difficult."

There is a saying in Yokohama called "Night belongs to the mafia", which also means that night is the time for the activities of mafia personnel.

Disruption is unavoidable.

Osamu Dazai suppressed a smile and saw the extremely serious Chuya, snatched the other person's mouse, and searched him another message - the harmfulness of cigarette alcohol to children in the growth stage.Zhongyuan Zhong is also dull. It is the first time that he knows that alcohol and smoking will seriously affect his height, but there are many people in the mafia who do this and are tall!

Osamu Dazai used himself as an example, "I never smoke, and I don't drink too much."

Now he is over 1.8 meters tall.

Nakahara Chuya gritted his teeth, "I understand." He swore that he would never touch cigarettes and high-concentration alcohol before the age of 18!

Osamu Dazai looked at Chuya who was burning like a flame behind him, and suddenly felt a little inexplicable envy. It would only be "Osamu Dazai" from another world who would enjoy the benefits, not this world that has been poisoned by Chuya for several years. of myself.

You have to leave a "gift" for yourself in another world!

Osamu Dazai pursed his lips, "Chuya, you must think my height is not pleasing to your eyes, I will teach you a trick, just break his legs."

Zhongyuan Zhongye: "..."

Osamu Dazai had a look of "I think about you", and said sincerely, "I have long wanted to improve my physical skills."

Chuya Zhongya: "Hehe."

Damn, how insane are you, you won't even let go of your past "self"!

Zhong Yuanzhong also pinched his fingers and creaked, "No problem, I will train him instead of you, and make sure that his physical skills surpass yours."

Osamu Dazai said softly, "Thank you very much, Chuya."

Physique is his shortcoming. Even now, he can't compare to the mafia's main combat faction. If the middle school can spur him on when he was a child, he will really have "unlimited future" in the future. Another The world's self must not thank him too much.

The two looked at each other and smiled, full of hidden ferocity.

After writing down the conditions needed to grow taller, Zhong Yuanzhong gave up playing computer games in the middle of the night, "Dazai, I want to take a bath, give me a bathrobe."

Osamu Dazai rested his chin, "But you can't fit it, Xiao Zhong also."

Zhongyuan Zhong was also dissatisfied: "You won't buy it! The cards are all with you, and you can spend them as you like."

Dazai smiled with a good temper, "Okay, I'll go out for a while."

After putting hot water in the bathtub for Chuya, Osamu Dazai picked up his wallet and left the house. He bought a set of men's clothing and pajamas in a nearby shopping mall. The latest game console, this kind of game console is super expensive, and he can't afford it with the salary of an armed detective agency employee.

An hour passed, and he bought a lot of things in big and small bags, leaving only a small part for Zhongye.

Passing by the river in Yokohama, Osamu Dazai couldn't help feeling, "What a clear river, it must feel good to jump into it and commit suicide."

As if tempted—

He approached the river slowly and put his things down.

……

In the bathroom on the other side, Zhong Yuanzhong, who was struggling to find clothes, was also very depressed, with half of his head buried in the water.

"Why haven't you come back yet?"

His orange-red hair floated on the surface of the water, and he sat in the bathtub with his knees hugged, his skin flushed from soaking, and his delicate facial features were more indistinguishable under the water mist.In a way, his appearance is very deceiving, and few enemies will take him seriously in a solo mission.

Two hours passed.

The water in the bath turned cold, Zhong Yuan stepped out on the tiles in a rage, put on a bath towel, "That bastard!"

He picked up his cell phone, and there was an extra missed call on it.

Calling back, "Doo--"

Zhongya Nakahara finally knew where Osamu Dazai was, "What! Did he jump off a building or a river? Oh, jump into a river... Please let him die by himself."

The young boy wrapped in a white bath towel hung up the phone and smiled coldly at the bright screen of the phone.

"suicide?"

Won't you just buy things back and kill yourself!

On the other end of the phone, the emergency doctor lowered his head in bewilderment, and said to the drowning man, "This is your relative? Don't you care about jumping into the river?"

"Ah—he was rescued again." Osamu Dazai sat up from the stretcher in good spirits, and plucked the dead leaves in his hair, "Who asked you to call Chuya." He snatched back his waterproof mobile phone, After taking a look, I was glad that the other party didn't call "Slug", "Loricon", "Unworthy Disciple" and so on.

On the mobile phone, the only person with a name is Kazuya from the Armed Detective Agency.

Osamu Dazai bid farewell to the aching nurses and doctors with a refreshing smile, went upstream along the direction of the river, and picked up the things he bought from under the trees.By the time he returned to the dark house, four hours had passed. The moment he opened the door, a cold light flashed away under the moonlight.

With a bang, the dagger was inserted into the door panel.

penetrating!

Osamu Dazai moved his head away in a cold sweat, the dagger was very close to his neck, and Zhong was also aiming there.

"Chuya, I bought a midnight snack!" He took off his shoes, put on indoor shoes, turned on the light and walked over.The door of the bedroom was ajar, and a young boy was sleeping on the tatami, wrapped tightly in the futon, his orange-red hair was scattered on the pillow, and the slender hair revealed a faint moisture.

Zhongyuan Zhong also turned his back to him and sulked, completely ignoring this suicidal maniac.

Osamu Dazai opened it for supper, the hot food was very appetizing, and the grilled eel on it was poured with a layer of translucent and delicious sauce.

"Zhongye."

Osamu Dazai didn't hit the target, but broke off the chopsticks with a smile, "If you don't eat it, I will eat it."

Lured by the meal, there was a slight grunt in the room.

Zhong Yuanzhong also covered his stomach in embarrassment. He didn't eat at night, and he was hungry when he was seduced by the food.Not wanting to abuse himself, he got up with hatred, and went to pick up a few plastic bags that Osamu Dazai had just bought by the bed, which contained clothes he could wear.

Taking advantage of his inattention, Osamu Dazai grabbed a corner of the quilt and opened it abruptly!

"Dazai——!!!"

Zhongyuan Zhongya was completely blown up.

Under the incandescent lamp, the young boy with orange-red hair was completely naked, with a slender waist and legs kneeling on the tatami mat. His body was as delicate as a large figure.Only when he glared, his blue eyes filled with murderous intent and frenzy, his aura exploded!

This is the number one gymnastics master of the futuristic port mafia!

Osamu Dazai rubbed his chin, and finally understood what some people said in secret, "Mr. Chuya's legs and waist are super beautiful".

Looking at Chuya Nakahara who was dressed in a panic, Osamu Dazai greeted as usual, "Who told you to ignore me." Such a natural reason choked Chuya Nakahara, and then he saw the bastard nodded his lips with chopsticks, vile Said calmly: "There are so few muscles, it's alright—I won't quarrel with you, come over for dinner."

Chuya Nakahara sat beside him with a sulky face, and the pajamas Dazai chose for him were quite normal, offsetting his anger.

"eat more."

Osamu Dazai knew that it was too much just now, so he specially picked up the eel meat for him.

Zhong Yuan also cursed: "You crazy!"

Osamu Dazai was very distressed by this sentence, and said to himself: "Although I have been admitted to a mental hospital, I am indeed not mentally ill."

Central Plains was also a little dumbfounded, "...have you ever entered?"

Who has the courage to put Dazai in a psychiatric hospital!

"Actually, it's nothing." Osamu Dazai stole the other dishes from the other party's bowl and chewed them in his mouth when he didn't notice in the Central Plains. Years ago, when I was bored, I went outside to find a beautiful place to commit suicide, and as a result, those ordinary people sent me to a mental hospital.”

Zhong Yuan was also numb, "How did you escape?"

Osamu Dazai glanced at him with eyes full of superiority, and said proudly: "I think I have good lockpicking skills, and I can even open a bank safe. Why do you think I can't get out?"

Zhongyuanzhong was once again defeated by a lot of slots.

This man—

Every day you live in this world, you are challenging the limits of human desire for death.

After eating supper, it was already dead of night outside, and the street lights were flickering on to illuminate the small building.Nakahara sat across from Osamu Dazai, watching in bewilderment as he took out a book and began to read it. The cover of the book had a painful name - "Complete Suicide Manual".

Probably because the cannibal's mouth is soft and his hands are short, Zhong Yuan Zhong also spoke in a very low voice, "You want to die so much?"

Osamu Dazai met those eyes that were still clean.

Suddenly, he had the desire to tell Oda about himself, "Human beings are both afraid of death and deeply attracted by death. In cities and in literary works, death is constantly consumed and cannot be converted into anything. Only this one death, that is my wish."

Zhong Yuanzhong didn't say any words of pity for ordinary people, but said seriously: "You can find me ten years later to stab you to death."

Guaranteed to send you to heaven for free.

Osamu Dazai laughed, "Well, I refuse to die in pain."

"And—" the black-haired young man gently flipped through the book at night, and said casually, "Being kicked or stabbed to death by Chuya, no matter how you think about it, is a terrible way to die, and it can't make me enjoy the only time in my life." joy of death."

Zhong Yuanzhong also snorted, "After talking for a long time, you are just looking for a reason not to want to die."

He patted the new clothes on his body, stood up, "I'm going to rest, I don't want to stay up with you at all until I go back." Before he drove himself out of the bedroom, Osamu Dazai looked at his lower body, "How about leopard-print underwear?"

This time I bought a set of black pajamas and leopard print underwear.

Zhong Yuan Zhong also blushed like a tomato, and pushed him out with both hands, the roar shaking the wooden floor.

"If you don't tease me, I will die!"

Chuya Nakahara, who was only 12 years old, once again realized that Osamu Dazai is a hidden pervert!

The door was closed tightly, Osamu Dazai lay lazily on the sofa in the living room, thinking about a question other than suicide: "Am I really a pervert?"

Why is it so easy and smooth to tease Xiaozhong?

"I'm not the leader of that Lolicon—" Osamu Dazai took out his phone and deleted several phone numbers. These numbers had long been memorized in his mind, and leaving them on the phone would easily lead to more tricks and loopholes.When deleting the number "slug", he couldn't hold back his hands and composed an email to the other party.

[Ten years ago, you were so small, with thin arms and legs, and blushing. 】

Realizing that he had done something careless, Osamu Dazai quickly deleted the email, but he stared wide-eyed and found that this email could not be deleted after it was sent.

He covered his face with the sofa pillow and wailed, "What am I doing!"

It's a deal to stop contacting the port mafia people!

The habit he had overcome for three years was suddenly broken, and Chuya was indeed the slug he hated the most!

The author has something to say:

This article is going to be on the editor's recommendation list. I hope you don't dive into QAQ. I want more people to see Bungou Stray Dogs.

Amway song:

A song sung by the voice actors of Osamu Dazai and Chuya Nakahara: CORONA-光冠

The song sung by Osamu Dazai's voice actor: TheBirth

Osamu Dazai's character song: Never Attempt にグッド?バイ (Forever Attempt GOODBYE)

Chuya Nakahara's character song: DARKNESSMYSORROW

Bungo Stray Dog's Ending Theme: Namae を 向ぶよ (Calling Your Name)

Opening song of Bungo Stray Dogs: Kaze ga Bukki Street (The street where the wind blows)

I have to say that Osamu Dazai's voice actor Mamo-chan is specially paired with perverts, idiots, and ghost animals 233333. Mamo-chan also dubbed Tsukiyama Xi, Ye Shenyue, and Kuroro.