paddock

Zhang Xiuyan called home at noon.

Yuan Ning guessed that Zhang Xiuyan would call at this time, and kept guarding near the phone.Hearing the phone ringing, Yuan Ning ran over immediately: "Brother!" He wanted to say a lot to Zhang Xiuyan, but he swallowed the words again.Zhang Xiuyan has asked for leave for a few days because of the matter of Mr. Xie and the ranch, so he can't bother Zhang Xiuyan with those matters.Mr. Zhang showed up, and Assistant Han followed Luo Yuanliang to the ranch, so there shouldn't be any major problems.

Although he has only been in Zhang's house for more than two years, he still relies on his elder brother so much!Even if it's something that has already been resolved, he still wants to talk to his elder brother!Those things are not happy at all.Yuan Ning's throat moved again and again, and he began to talk about what happened in school today: "Brother, let me tell you, Song Xingchen and the others participated in the tug-of-war competition today, and Wang Zhongzhong from our class was holding the line. Did you also participate in tug-of-war competitions before?"

Zhang Xiuyan originally thought that he would hear Yuan Ning mention the change in the ranch, but he didn't expect Yuan Ning to mention this.Not long after Xie Laogang passed away, Yuan Ning must not be in the mood to participate in these school competitions. When Song Xingchen and the others played, Yuan Ning must have been watching.

Wang Zhongzhong?No need to think about it, Zhang Xiuyan remembered what Yuan Ning mentioned before, Wang Zhongzhong's self-introduction when he started school: "My name is Wang Zhongzhong, at first I was called Wang Zhong, and then my mother said, ouch, how can a heavy word be enough? , My son’s mother is heavy, and my son’s father is also heavy. The sum should be called heavy. After I started to grow, I did not live up to my parents’ expectations at all, and my body shape kept following them.”

Wang Chongzhong's family didn't care about their weight, and even felt that the current weight was not enough, so Wang Chongzhong never felt that anyone would laugh at him, and played with others with a smile every day.Although Wang Chongzhong is overweight, he has a good personality and popularity. He pays attention to exercise and has great strength. He often walks briskly to help others with work, and has won the unanimous love of teachers and classmates.

In this tug-of-war competition, Wang Zhongzhong was undoubtedly placed behind, riveting the hemp rope in place like a weight, and the first class couldn't pull it no matter what!

Zhang Xiuyan suddenly found that everyone around Yuan Ning seemed to be so vivid, as if they had grown directly in his mind.Probably because Yuan Ning always talked about everything about them happily?Yuan Ning hardly has anyone he doesn't like, everyone is interesting and friendly to him.

Zhang Xiuyan said: "Naturally." Although he doesn't interact with others very much, he will still do what he should do. It is very shameful for Zhang Xiuyan to keep silent and stand by while he clearly has the ability to do it. .Those who avoid even what they should do, what can they achieve in the future?When Zhang Xiuyan mentioned the glorious deeds in the past, his tone was always so calm, "I was always number one in my class before."

Yuan Ning was shocked: "Are you so powerful! I'm going to Teacher Qi's activity class in the afternoon to see the photos of my brother at that time!"

Zhang Xiuyan: "..."

Next, Yuan Ning said one sentence here and another sentence, and carefully described what happened at school, but he didn't mention the issue of the ranch.Why not say what should be said?Zhang Xiuyan felt a little unhappy in his heart.Could it be that Yuan Ning felt that when she was grown up, she didn't need his opinion when encountering problems—or even that he didn't need to know at all?As soon as such thoughts popped up, Zhang Xiuyan couldn't suppress it anymore.

Obviously he wanted Yuan Ning to be independent, and he wanted Yuan Ning not to rely on him so much, but when he realized that this day was coming, Zhang Xiuyan was not at all relieved. It was cruelly hollowed out, and the outside was pressed down again by heavy things.This feeling made Zhang Xiuyan very uncomfortable.He didn't understand why this emotion came about, but he asked the words on his own initiative: "Did Luo Yuanliang come over today?"

Yuan Ning froze when he heard Zhang Xiuyan's words.The eldest brother is still so supernatural, even if he is not at home, he can still know what is going on at home!

Yuan Ning thought of what Wang Gu had said about him just now, and felt a little regretful: "Brother, why do you know everything?"

"You hope I don't know anything?" Zhang Xiuyan's tone became sharp unconsciously.

Yuan Ning was taken aback for a moment.He said: "I, I'm not." Yuan Ning's voice became softer, "I've been dragging my elder brother down for a long time, and I don't want my elder brother to worry about my affairs anymore. I'm still very useless today, and I don't know how to solve the problem Luo Yuanliang said But I remember what my elder brother said. My elder brother said that if there is anything that can be solved, you can ask your elder brother or your father, or you can ask your third brother. My father has already come forward about the ranch and taught me how to deal with it in the future, so I don’t want to let him Big Brother knows, I don’t want Big Brother to worry about it anymore! I heard that going to university is very hard, and Big Brother is alone in the capital, if you want to keep worrying about my affairs, you will definitely be distracted..."

Zhang Xiuyan listened to Yuan Ning in silence.Yuan Ning always tried his best to do what he wanted Yuan Ning to do.

Zhang Xiuyan said: "Since my father asked Assistant Han to deal with it, don't worry about it all day long. If you are really worried, just go again on the weekend and see if the matter is resolved."

Yuan Ning carefully remembered Zhang Xiuyan's words, and then reluctantly hung up the phone.

On the other side, Zhang Xiuyan put down the phone, looked up at the empty house, and felt that small figure of Yuan Ning was busy inside and out again.The chandelier on the ceiling was chosen by Yuan Ning, the shelves and decorative paintings hanging on the wall were also chosen by Yuan Ning, the tablecloth on the table was also chosen by Yuan Ning, and the cups and tea pots on the table were also chosen by Yuan Ning.Zhang Xiuyan let himself sink into the soft sofa, feeling as if a small head was gently moved to his side.Upon closer inspection, it was found to be a soft pillow.

It was also chosen by Yuan Ning.

Zhang Xiuyan never thought that he would miss someone like this, someone who had just been separated for a few days.No, maybe it's not that I started to miss it just a few days after we were separated, but I deeply resisted the word "separation" before we were separated.Zhang Xiuyan closed his eyes and felt his strong heartbeat. He seemed to see his bright red heart beating one after another, and the word "Yuan Ning" was attached to each beat.

Such thinking is abnormal.

Zhang Xiuyan always felt that sooner or later he would succumb to Mr. Zhang's coercion and lure, and go for a life where he could see the future at a glance.Inherit everything that Mr. Zhang has done, walk along the road pioneered by Mr. Zhang, establish a career, get married and have children, and live a normal life.But now he wants to take Yuan Ning under his wings forever, take Yuan Ning by his side at all times, so that the lives of the two people can be integrated into one, and they will never be separated.Such thinking is not good for him or Yuan Ning.

He is going to get married in the future, and Yuan Ning is going to get married too. No matter how close brothers are, they cannot be inseparable for a lifetime.

Zhang Xiuyan thought of Mr. Zhang's "coercion and temptation".

Thinking of the ranch, the forest around the ranch, Yuan Ning's bright eyes and the faint haze cast by Xie Lao's death.

Zhang Xiuyan undid the buttons on his shirt irritably, so that the air could better enter the lung lobes and renew the dirty exhaust gas in the lung lobes.He has never had what he wanted since he was a child. He has been educated by Mr. Zhang since he was a child. As a boy and the eldest son, he has to shoulder the responsibility of the elder brother and take good care of his sentimental mother.He can always understand what he needs to do, and then do what he needs to do with ease.He is very good, very good, very satisfying to the old man and Mr. Zhang—so he should always be good, always be good, and never let anything deviate from the normal track—

Fuck not normal.

When the day comes when we must separate, we will naturally separate.Since he has the ability to do it, why think about what is normal or not?He just wants to protect Yuan Ning under his wings, so that Yuan Ning doesn't have to face the ups and downs outside alone, so that Yuan Ning doesn't have to be careful and think of having him as a big brother in everything-why not?

He wants to hurt his brother, what's wrong?

As for why this kind of idea was not born of Zhang Xiuling, Zhang Xiuwen, and Zhang Xiuming, who knows why?How can there be so many why?He just wanted it—he just wanted it all the time!

Zhang Xiuyan made a phone call to Luan Jia, and asked Luan Jia to keep an eye on the land sales in Yunshan area. It would be best if he could get detailed information.Luan Jia has made a lot of progress now. He hasn't gone to college yet, and he has been exposed to some industries left by his mother, mostly from the media. He is quite well-informed and knows everything—recalling Luan Jia's decadence two years ago The demeanor of a teenager shows that Mr. Huo Sen is really good at training people.

Luan Jia was bored recently, and when Zhang Xiuyan had something to do by himself, he immediately agreed.In less than half a day, Luan Jia sorted out the news that Zhang Xiuyan wanted.He smiled and called Zhang Xiuyan: "I have nothing to do in the afternoon, so I'll bring you the materials directly. Of course, you have to take care of my food and sleep."

Huo Sen was coming in with sweet soup. He paused slightly when he heard Luan Jia's words, and gently put the sweet soup in front of Luan Jia.Luan Jia also paused, and said with a smile, "Thank you." Then he explained to Zhang Xiuyan on the other end of the phone, "I didn't thank you just now, it was Huo Sen who brought me sweet soup. His craftsmanship is really good." It's getting better and better! It's a pity that you are busy and don't have a chance to taste it! Don't talk about it, we will talk when we meet later, you have to book me a place - no need to go anywhere, just go to the room you took Ningning to last time alright."

Zhang Xiuyan: "..."

Luan Jia put down the phone and raised her hand to pick up the spoon to drink the sweet soup, but Huo Sen grabbed his hand.

Luan Jia looked at him suspiciously.

Huo Sen said: "Wash your hands." His Chinese has been spoken perfectly.In order to control Luan Jia better, he learned fluent Chinese and Chinese cuisine.

Luan Jia was very obedient, she obediently went to wash her hands and sat back to drink soup.

Huo Sen looked at Luan Jia like this, and suddenly remembered the young man who bared his teeth and claws.Luan Jia stopped messing around, and Luan Jia listened to what he said. Luan Jia will be eighteen in a year or so, and he seems to have no reason to stay.Knowing that parting is a matter of time, Huo Sen didn't know whether he should speak or not.Recently his father has been urging him to go back early to see if he has a chance to show his face in front of his grandfather.The grandfather has been in charge of the family all his life, and the money and contacts he has accumulated are beyond the reach of others. Even if he can only inherit one ten-thousandth of it, it will be of great benefit.

Huo Sen was silent.

Luan Jia finished the sweet soup.He looked at Huo Sen's cold profile.After getting along for more than two years, Huo Sen took care of his life in every possible way, telling him what to do and what not to do.

He relies more and more on Huo Sen and likes Huo Sen more and more, but he is very clear that all these are just "obligations" to Huo Sen. Huo Sen is a perfectionist who demands perfection from others and himself .Since he accepted his mother's entrustment back then, Huo Sen would not allow himself to default, so even if it was such a trouble to take care of him, he tried his best to do his best.

This kind of goodness is the same for any commissioned object - in Huo Sen's mind, he is just an ordinary "trusted object".Luan Jia put down the spoon and said with a smile, "Recently, Huo Sen, you often make overseas calls."

Huo Sen looked at him unexpectedly, as if surprised that he would notice him.

Luan Jia said, "You should go back, right?"

Huo Sen stared fixedly at Luan Jia.

Luan Jia was already mentally prepared.The smile on his face remained unchanged: "You have been in China for two years, it's time to go back. Your home is not here, and your relatives and friends are not here." He stood up, opened his hand and gave Huo Sen hugged, "Thank you for letting me know what kind of path I can take. I still hate the night and fear the dark as before, but I already know how to face them."

When Huo Sen was approached by Luan Jia's warm body, he felt numbness running up his back.

Is this guy saying goodbye to him?Before he had made up his mind to leave or stay, this guy had already said goodbye to him?Does this guy have the patience to cook without him around?It must be to ask someone outside to cook for him or ask the restaurant to deliver it directly, right?Without him, would this guy go back to smoking and drinking, and make a bunch of cronies?What's more, what's more damning is that this guy didn't feel sorry for him at all, but he was always worried that this guy would be sad after he left, and that this guy would make the same mistakes again after he left!

Huo Sen was emotional.

It's because he's being self-indulgent!

This guy must be dying to get out of his grip and be free to do what he wants!

Huo Sen said: "Yes, I should go back."

Luan Jia paused with a smile, let go of Huo Sen, and said, "When are you leaving? I'll go to the capital later, do you want to go?"

"No." Huo Sen frowned, "I'm leaving tonight."

"That's it." Luan Jia felt that Huo Sen was really meaningless, and was about to leave long ago, but he didn't say a word. If he didn't take the initiative to ask, he might not know until Huo Sen ran away—Luan Jia knew Huo Sen. This person would never do anything unplanned, since he said he was leaving tonight, it must have been decided early on that he would leave tonight.Luan Jia was also a little angry, "Then I won't see you off, and have a good trip!"

Luan Jia ran back to the room, packed her things, and was going to stay with Zhang Xiuyan for a few days to calm down.He knew that Huo Sen had no obligation to stay with him all the time, but there was no need to leave in such a hurry!

Huo Sen also went back to his room to pack his luggage for home.He is not a person who likes to add things, but when he returned to the room, he found that the room was full of memories of himself and Luan Jia, and he seemed to have to take them away.He clenched his fist, regretting the return date he just said.He obviously had no intention of leaving so soon, why would he say such a thing?He took a deep breath, gave up packing his suitcase, walked to the door of Luan Jia's room, and knocked on Luan Jia's door.

Unexpectedly, as soon as he knocked, the door creaked and opened inward.

Huo Sen looked into the room, and saw that it was a disaster scene, everything had been turned into a mess, as if it had been ransacked.Luan Jia was no longer in the room, and the suitcase was taken away.Thinking of what Luan Jia said to the phone, Huo Sen frowned even deeper.What did he want to say to Luan Jia when he came over?He is not leaving?Of course he can't leave...

Since we have to leave sooner or later, we might as well leave tonight as we told Luan Jia just now.

Huo Sen carefully packed the room for Luan Jia, went back to the room and put the needed things into the suitcase, but did not take anything else away.Some "memories" don't need to be kept around, after all, not everyone has the time to remember the past and recall the past.If you want to get ahead in this world, you must take big strides forward.

It takes only one hour to drive to the capital by train.Luan Jia dragged his luggage and got off the train, feeling cold and freezing, and the wind blowing on his face was as fierce as a slap on his face.He dragged his luggage out of the train station in a daze, feeling that there were crowds of people all around him.How could there be so many people on such a cold day!

Luan Jia found a convenience store and called Zhang Xiuyan: "I'm here, find a driver to pick me up. The wind here in the capital is so damn strong, and there is sand in it, blowing out my tears!" He raised his hand and wiped the corner of his eyes, his voice was a little choked up, "Come and pick me up."

Zhang Xiuyan heard that Luan Jia's voice was wrong, asked Luan Jia's location, and called the driver to follow him.

Luan Jia sat on a bench by the side of the road, next to a sycamore tree that had almost lost all its leaves, the bare branches looked extremely lonely.Seeing Zhang Xiuyan get off the car, he said with a smile, "Hey, why did you come here in person? Do you want to come to see me soon, or to see the materials I brought?"

"Information." Zhang Xiuyan replied mercilessly.

"..."

Luan Jia silently followed Zhang Xiuyan into the car, his expression was normal, if it wasn't for the red eyes, no one would be able to see anything unusual on his face.He took out the materials in his backpack and handed them to Zhang Xiuyan.

Zhang Xiuyan refused to answer and looked at him.

Luan Jia stuffed it directly into his hand.

Luan Jia said, "He's leaving, tonight."

Zhang Xiuyan paused for a moment before saying, "I have to go." Huo Sen was not someone who would stay in China.

"I know." Luan Jia said sullenly.

"If you really don't want to part with it, you can earn some airfare money and fly to see him." That's what Zhang Xiuming did. He would fly to Saint Lorenburg to meet Simon Pullman from time to time.

"You don't understand." After Luan Jia finished speaking, she turned sideways and looked at Zhang Xiuyan seriously, "Old Yan, let me ask you, if I was gay, would you break up with me?"

gay?This word made Zhang Xiuyan's heart skip a beat.Homosexuality has always existed, but the acceptance of such people in society is not high. If people know about it in a place with backward thinking and poor information, they may be excluded all day long, and they will be pointed out when they go outside. .He looked at Luan Jia seriously: "Have you fallen in love with Mr. Huo Sen?"

"I don't know." Luan Jia's face was full of bewilderment. He leaned his head against the car window and looked at the passing traffic outside the window. "I don't want him. I want him to stay and stay by my side. 16 When I was [-] years old, I had... that kind of dream for the first time, I... I didn't dream of a girl. Old Yan, am I abnormal?... Have I become gay?" It was too serious for a young boy, Luan Jia didn't know what to do.After that dream, he even seriously considered the future - when he found that there was no "future" between them, Luan Jia began to consciously let himself not be so dependent on Huo Sen - always be ready for Huo Sen to leave Prepare.

Huo Sen is indeed leaving.

The question now is, can Huo Sen go back to normal?Will he be gay all his life?

Luan Jia turned to Zhang Xiuyan, hoping that Zhang Xiuyan could give him an answer.

The confusion and sadness on Luan Jia's face made Zhang Xiuyan unable to bear to say "homosexuality is indeed abnormal, you should like girls".

Zhang Xiuyan said: "Homosexuality is not abnormal." Zhang Xiuyan's tone was still calm, and he was not surprised or disgusted by his friend's doubts about his sexual orientation.He looked at Luan Jia with a gentle and calm tone, "When my mother was sick, I studied foreign psychiatric literature with my grandma. Psychiatry has never classified homosexuality as a 'disease'. Studies have shown that homosexuality is innate. Just like heterosexuality, you are naturally attracted to each other and want to be with each other. If you really like men, you have to adjust your mentality quickly-if you think this is 'abnormal', how can you blame it Do other people look at you strangely?"

After listening to Zhang Xiuyan's serious persuasion, Luan Jia felt a lot more at ease.He breathed a long sigh of relief and whispered, "Thank you."

"We have seen how good Mr. Huo Sen has been to you in the past two years. It is normal for you to feel dependent on him. Maybe it's just your temporary doubts, and he is leaving, which made you Magnify the attachment in my heart countless times." Zhang Xiuyan said, "If you leave this feeling for a while, it will fade away."

"I understand." Luan Jia laughed, "I don't think there is anything to worry about when you say that. I don't care about other people's gazes, and I will let nature take its course whether I like men or women in the future!"

Zhang Xiuyan nodded.

"It's you! I've always thought that you don't like both men and women. You won't die alone in the future, right?" Luan Jia glanced at Zhang Xiuyan, with a little dirty look on his face.He hooked Zhang Xiuyan's shoulder, and asked with winks, "Really! Have you ever had that kind of dream! You know the kind!"

Zhang Xiuyan: "..."

You should let this guy tangled up by himself, you shouldn't enlighten him at all!

Zhang Xiuyan patted Luan Jia's hand off his shoulder, opened the file bag Luan Jia brought, and looked at the documents inside.When the car stopped, Zhang Xiuyan had already read most of the information, had a general understanding in his heart, and had already decided which places to enclose in the range of the ranch.Anyway, I have decided to go into debt, so it is better to borrow more, so that Mr. Zhang will not feel painless, and will "coerce and lure" him like this next time!

Zhang Xiuyan took Luan Jia upstairs to put his luggage.

As soon as the door opened, Luan Jia ran in first, marveling, thinking that this is good and that is good, this is good and that is good, and asked Zhang Xiuyan where he got it from.

It was already slightly dark, Zhang Xiu slammed the light on.The orange light suddenly filled the room, lighting up the whole room.

Warm and lonely.

Zhang Xiu answered slowly, "Yuan Ning chose it."