Wait till the sun rises

The car stopped slowly, Xia Yang asked, "When did you hire a nurse?"

Xu Jiming opened the car door and said, "I invited you yesterday, but I just came here today."

Xia Yang unbuckled his seat belt and asked curiously, "What did you buy?"

"It's all what you like to eat." Xu Jiming opened the rear door and brought out the ingredients that were placed behind.

Xia Yang said, "I'll help you."

"Of course." Xu Jiming smiled sullenly, and handed the food to Xia Yang: "Do you want to eat?"

"Candy." Xia Yang looked at the colorful candy wrapping paper in his palm and laughed, "I haven't eaten it for a long time, why do I think of buying this?"

Xu Jiming took one in his mouth, and said vaguely: "When I saw something for sale, I bought it."

Xia Yang picked up one, looked at it, and said, "Chocolate flavor."

"Yeah." Xu Jiming opened the door with the key and said softly, "It's been a long time since I ate."

Xia Yang dropped a candy in his mouth, and said casually, "You've grown up."

Xu Jiming's hand for inserting the key paused, and then he unscrewed the door as if nothing had happened, nodded and said, "Yes, when I grow up, it's not like when I was a child."

Xia Yang followed him into the house, turned on the light, and smiled while changing his shoes: "It's not like you can eat candy as you like when you were young?"

Xu Jiming thought for a while, then nodded seriously: "Yes."

"Now Auntie doesn't care if you eat candy or not."

"Yes." Xu Jiming carried the dishes into the kitchen, "But I have learned to restrain myself."

Xia Yang praised him: "Grow up."

Xia Yang changed his coat and went back into the kitchen. He glanced at the black coat hanging on the hanger, and said, "I think it's a bit hot today. You can take a shower later and change my clothes."

"it is good."

Xia Yang said while choosing vegetables, "Pack up a few more for grandpa, and put them on when he can be discharged from the hospital."

The meal was so sumptuous that Xia Yang even found wine and candles in the paper bag that Xu Jiming was carrying.

"Candlelight dinner?" Xia Yang turned to look at him, "I feel panicked."

Xu Jiming asked while lighting a candle, "What are you panicking about?"

Xia Yang thought for a while and said, "Maybe red wine has too high a grade, and I don't think it's suitable for a person like me."

Xu Jiming took out two goblets from the bag again, and said, "Taste whatever you want."

"it is good."

Candlelight, food, wine, and... lover.

This dinner was very warm, Xu Jiming kept adding food to Xia Yang, the tenderness in his eyes seemed to drown Xia Yang in it.

Xia Yang put down his wine glass and looked at him again: "I still think you are weird, are you planning some conspiracy behind my back?"

Xu Jiming bent his lips and raised his glass to him: "Congratulate Grandpa's recovery in advance."

The two wine glasses touched each other lightly, Xia Yang smiled and said, "Cheers."

The lights in the room have been turned off, only the red candles are burning.The candle flames danced like dancing elves, casting the shadows of the two on the wall.

Xu Jiming made various poses with his fingers, and the shadows on the wall also changed various shapes with the movements of his hands.

Xu Jiming changed his gestures and asked, "Do you remember this?"

Xia Yang looked at the lifelike shadow rabbit projected on the wall, smiled and stretched out a hand, gently stroking the "rabbit"'s ear.

"Of course I remember." Xia Yang said with a smile: "Grandpa taught us."

Xu Jiming said: "When there was a power outage in summer nights, there were always three 'rabbits' running on the front yard wall, one big and two small."

Xia Yang imitated him, sticking the backs of his hands together, the little finger and index finger intertwined, and another lifelike rabbit appeared on the wall.

The two rabbits face each other, their "ears" and "front hoofs" are shaking at the same time, looking full of vitality.

Xia Yang smiled with crooked eyebrows: "When grandpa is discharged from the hospital, there will be three more rabbits, but the little rabbits have grown up."

Xu Jiming stared at Xia Yang's smiling face with deep and sad eyes. He greedily recorded Xia Yang's every move with his eyes.It seems that tomorrow is the end of the world, and now is his last chance to seek redemption.

After dinner, Xia Yang pushed Xu Jiming to take a bath. He blinked and said mysteriously, "Go, I have a surprise for you later."

Xu Jiming hummed, and carried the clothes Xia Yang stuffed into him into the bathroom.

The hot water crackled on his face, Xu Jiming pushed back his wet hair, and then tightly clenched his palms.

Xia Yang glanced at the movement in the bathroom like a thief, then tiptoed into his room, opened the drawer, found the green finger wrench that his grandfather gave him, and held it in his palm as a treasure.

Xu Jiming took a hot shower for a long time, and when he came out wearing Xia Yang's clothes, he found that Xia Yang hadn't turned on the light. He looked around and found that Xia Yang was standing in front of the French window, looking at the night scene outside the window.

Xu Jiming stopped a few steps away from Xia Yang. Xia Yang was thinking about something and didn't notice his arrival.

Xu Jiming stood there for a long time, and finally called out: "Xia Yang."

"Huh?" Xia Yang turned his head, his eyes seemed to be full of stars, he smiled and said, "You are so slow, I am almost falling asleep."

Xu Jiming looked at him quietly.

Xia Yang took a step forward and said, "I have something for you."

"Let's break up."

The two spoke at the same time, their voices overlapping.

Xu Jiming's eyes were affectionate and sad, and his voice was very soft, as if he was afraid of scaring Xia Yang.

Xia Yang looked at Xu Jiming in astonishment, and then said, "Jiming, don't make such jokes, it's not funny at all."

Xu Jiming remained silent.

"What's wrong with you?" Xia Yang looked at him, stepped forward and grabbed Xu Jiming's hand, "It was fine just now, why suddenly..."

Xu Jiming pulled out his hand little by little, but Xia Yang entangled him.

No one spoke in the room, and the silence was terrible. Xia Yang looked into Xu Jiming's eyes and panicked. He spread his palm and showed Xu Jiming the ring in his palm, "Look, this thing, Grandpa You said you wanted me to give it to your future partner, didn't you want a title a few days ago?"

His tone was very urgent, as if he would be interrupted if he didn't finish speaking in one breath, he slowly approached Xu Jiming's right hand while holding the wrench.

"Xu Jiming." Xia Yang took a deep breath and looked at him nervously, "Will you be my boyfriend?"

When the wrench touched the fingertips, Xu Jiming suddenly clenched his fist.He drew his hand back again.

"Sorry, I can't," he said.

Xia Yang remained motionless in that position, as if frozen.

For a long time, he looked directly into Xu Jiming's eyes and asked hoarsely, "...why?"

—I thought you would say I would.

——This time, you took the initiative to come over and hold my hand. I thought this was the best ending between us.

Seeing Xia Yang like this, Xu Jiming felt his heart was twisted like a knife. He clenched his palms tightly and stepped back step by step.

"The moon is bright and bright." The moonlight shines through the window, and Xia Yang is standing under the French window, with a little pleading in his voice, he said: "I remember you told me that this is where your name comes from." .Siming, the sky is bright, and I am the sun. So we should be together."

"...I misremembered." After a long time, Xu Jiming opened his mouth, his voice was very low, as if he couldn't suppress the pain in his voice otherwise, he said: "I misremembered, no 'The moon is bright and bright', but 'it is both clear and philosophical, so as to protect itself.'”

He looked at Xia Yang and said, "I saw a lot of things in the hospital these days, and I also thought about it a lot. It is impossible for me to make myself a monster in the eyes of others for a man."

Xia Yang was shocked all over, and the tears that had been accumulated for a long time finally fell from his eyes. He tremblingly said: "Monster?"

Xu Jiming looked at the pained and desperate look on Xia Yang's face, and his heart trembled. He stretched out his hand and unbuttoned the two buttons of his shirt. For some reason, his hand trembled slightly, but he didn't undo it for a while.

Xia Yang said: "...Is it because of the boy I met in the hospital that day?"

On the night that Grandpa Xia was willing to eat, a special patient was sent to the emergency room.

——A boy who was carried into the emergency room by his father.

The child was sallow and thin, with large and small scars all over his outer arms.

The child's parents begged the doctor to save their son with snot and tears.After the doctor asked the reason, he scolded them crazy.

It turned out that the boy liked the same sex, and his parents forced him to change his sexual orientation after they found out. They investigated many methods, and finally even adopted a very terrifying electric shock therapy.

The child finally couldn't take it anymore and passed out. At this time, the couple finally panicked and sent their son to the hospital desperately.

The boy's mother wiped her tears in the corridor and said, "If we had known this would happen, we would not have interfered with him. Whether he likes women or men, it would be nice if he could live in peace."

The father squatted on the ground with a livid face and said nothing.The spectators around heard what they said, and subconsciously took a few steps back. Some even went straight back to the ward and closed the door with a bang.

From time to time, gossip from the crowd drifted into the ears.

"Is there any AIDS/disease? Is it contagious?"

"Get out of here quickly, there are all patients here."

"It's disgusting, what are you doing alive, if I die, forget it."

At that time, Xia Yang and Xu Jiming happened to pass by. Although Xu Jiming was full of anger at that time, he suppressed his emotions after being held back by Xia Yang.

Hearing Xia Yang suddenly mentioned the unconscious boy, Xu Jiming was taken aback for a moment, and then he acquiesced.

Xu Jiming thought, that's fine, I'll make you think I'm a coward.

He clenched his fists and tried to keep his voice as steady as possible. He said, "Yes, so let's break up. It's good to get together and break up. I hope we can still be friends in the future."

"Friend?" Xia Yang suddenly laughed, and he repeated these two words in a low voice, and then he suddenly relaxed. He was obviously smiling, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

He said, "You go."

Xu Jiming knew that this time, he had completely lost him.