My old enemy from my previous life shared a bedroom with me

As soon as the bathroom door slammed, a dark figure came out from inside, Fang Li's voice was soft: "Brother Ruan, I just took a shower."

Looking at his figure, Ruan Qingmu narrowed her eyes.

After a while, he nodded: "Oh, you just came back?"

"Um……"

Ruan Qingmu suddenly reached out her hand out of nowhere, grabbed his arm, pulled him into the bathroom, and closed the door.

Bai Jing and the boys in the dormitory were a little confused: What's the matter?What is so mysterious?

The lights have been turned off, the bathroom is small, cramped and dark inside.

Ruan Qingmu leaned against the door, folded her arms, her eyes were shining brightly in the dark night: "I left so early in the evening self-study and came back after turning off the lights. What are you busy with?"

Fang Li shrank in the corner without saying a word.

Ruan Qingmu sighed softly: "I didn't mean to pry into your privacy. I just want to take care of you as a friend."

Fang Li remained silent.

"Okay, if you really don't want to say it, forget it." Ruan Qingmu nodded, turned around to open the door, "Go to bed early."

Behind him, Fang Li finally spoke with a trembling voice, "Brother Ruan, it's me."

Ruan Qingmu turned around: "What are you?"

Fang Li's voice was weak: "The person you saw just now...is me."

Ruan Qingmu stared at him, her voice was very low: "What are you doing? It's late at night, and I have already scared people several times."

Fang Li was silent, and in the silence, there was a very slight sobbing sound, depressed and sad.

Ruan Qingmu took a deep breath: "After the teacher finishes checking the room, I'll wait for you at the top of the stairs for 10 minutes. If you don't come, I'll go back to sleep."

……

In the male dormitory building, the dormitory check is usually within half an hour after the lights are turned off. The male teacher on duty shines a flashlight on each room. After checking the last room, he yawns and returns to the duty room on the first floor.

Ruan Qingmu slept in Li Zhiyong's dormitory, waited for a while, got up and got out of bed.

When he walked quietly to the stairs at the corner, there was already a figure sitting on the stairs, waiting there.

The green escape emergency light in the corner was faintly on, illuminating the corner of the fourth and fifth floors a bit gloomy, Fang Li's thin figure shrank there, half of his face reflected the silver moonlight, and the other half of his face reflected the green light of the emergency light.

Ruan Qingmu stepped on her slippers and sat down next to him slowly.

It was a bit cold on the ground, he sighed: "Let me tell you, you really know how to choose a place. This face is half white and half green, that is, I knew it in advance, otherwise I would have been scared crazy."

Fang Li lowered his head dumbly and didn't speak.

"Did you do it on purpose? Dancing under the lights in the dance studio, wearing..." Ruan Qingmu scratched her head, and swallowed the word "women's clothing", "How scary."

No wonder there are always rumors among the boys that there are ghosts in the Wenti building at night, Fang Li dances there secretly like this, and runs away whenever he sees people coming, who is not afraid of encountering them?

Fang Li finally spoke in a low voice: "Brother Ruan...you tell me the truth, am I disgusting?"

He lowered his head, his thin and slender neck seemed to be broken: "Brother Ruan, you are a good person, even if you feel uncomfortable, you won't really say it. But I... feel so uncomfortable. "

Ruan Qingmu sneered: "Fang Li, listen to me. A person is disgusting only because he is really harmful or has a bad heart."

His voice was calm and arrogant: "As for how that person is deviant and independent, what does it have to do with others?"

Fang Li shook his head, his voice choked up: "But I'm not unique... I really want to be like everyone else."

Ruan Qingmu sighed: "It doesn't matter, even if it's different from everyone, it's really nothing."

He thought for a while, and tried to choose the words: "Do you only like to wear girls' clothes, or... do you think you are a girl?"

These days, he and Qin Yuan also took the time to search the Internet for relevant knowledge, but they were still a little clouded.

Gender cognitive impairment and transvestism are different concepts.

Seeing that Fang Li was silent, Ruan Qingmu felt regretful again, and quickly waved his hand: "Forget it, forget it, pretend I didn't ask. In a word, no matter what you are, you are my friend."

In the dark night, Fang Li remained motionless, but after a long time, his shoulders shrugged slightly.

Ruan Qingmu looked down suspiciously, and sure enough, under the faint moonlight, Fang Li was crying.

"Brother Ruan, I...I don't know either." He whispered, "When I look like that, I feel very happy. Especially when I'm dancing."

He raised his hand in embarrassment and wiped his face: "When I was a child... I didn't go to kindergarten. My mother was the pillar of the folk dance in the song and dance troupe. She was always in the A corner. Later, because of my dad, she got sick."

Ruan Qingmu listened quietly.

"It's not that kind of physical illness, it's mental." Fang Li whispered, "I don't even know what my dad looks like, I just know that he and my mom used to be partners on the stage, and everyone said they were a match made in heaven. , very good match. But when my mother was pregnant with me, he fell in love with another actress in the troupe, and was caught by my mother. My mother has a strong temper, so she left him immediately. "

Ruan Qingmu nodded: "Oh, scum."

"My mother's figure was out of shape when she gave birth to me, and my father's incident hit her hard, so her career wasted for a while. When she wanted to cheer up, her A corner was robbed by the actress who robbed my father... …Since then, she has been in a bad state of mind."

Ruan Qingmu frowned, and suddenly remembered the woman screaming when she was on the phone with Fang Li.

"Why are you in a bad mood?"

Fang Li's voice was a little desperate: "Mania and depression are mixed together, a type of mental illness. It will be better after taking the medicine, but it will be quite scary when it happens."

Ruan Qingmu hesitated: "Is this how you live with her?"

Fang Li shed tears silently: "Well, she can take care of herself at ordinary times, she is quite normal most of the time, and it is not as serious as being hospitalized."

Traditional song and dance troupes are not profitable, serious performances can't make money, more and more young dancers are going out to find jobs, his divorced father has no face to see him, and he resigned from the troupe after a few years gone, disappeared into the army of the North Drifters.

Only his mother is stubborn, not going anywhere, full of the glory of the past.

Even when his neighbors and her mother quarreled over daily trivial matters, they would sneer and sneer: "I thought it was the past, every A corner, the flowers are full of flowers, and the whole group is holding you?..."

Fang Lifa was stunned for a while, and then said: "In the years when I was a child, she was not convinced and couldn't go on stage. She went to the stage to practice kung fu every day, and didn't send me to kindergarten. I was locked up at home alone, without toys, Without friends, I can only find my mother's cosmetics to play with, and the colorful stage costumes in my mother's closet..."

On the wall are photos of his mother who used to shine on the stage, and the room was deserted, only those things accompanied him.

The mother in the photo smiled so softly and danced beautifully, completely different from the usual hysteria.

So, dancing can make a person beautiful and gentle, right? ...

When his mother came home exhausted and saw him wearing makeup and dancing clumsily, not only would she not be mad at him for messing up her makeup and dirty her beautiful costumes, but would hug him up instead, Kiss him with a smile.

He exhausted all his strength and finally danced those dances more and more decently.

And such a hug and a kiss seemed to be one of the few moments of family affection he could get.

Ruan Qingmu cursed in a low voice: "Fuck!"

There is also no father, and there is only one mother left.But when his mother talked about his dead father, she still smiled, and even regarded him as the only son with a sharp heart.

What the hell is Fang Li living this life?

"Did you learn to dance specifically later?" He asked, suddenly remembering Fang Li's super endurance and physical performance in the sports meeting.

Fang Li shook his head numbly: "No... But my mother has a lot of stage videos. She saw that I like dancing, so she was very happy to show her videos to me. The more fascinated I am, the happier she is. Sometimes , and will cook and cook delicious food by himself.”

The fire in Ruan Qingmu's heart was a little burning again, she was so irritable that she just wanted to jump up and punch someone hard

——What rubbish mother!Shouldn't a mother be like Mu Wanli, always changing her ways to make delicious food for her children?

"Later, when I got older, she would take me to the practice room in the regiment. She practiced hers, and I played mine." Fang Li said in a low voice, "If you watch a lot, it will come naturally."

And sometimes when she is in a stable mood, she will personally guide him.

I don't have any other friends, and I haven't been to kindergarten.

Ah... It's not that I haven't been there at all, it seems that I sent him there for a while.But his mother often forgot the time in the practice room, and even forgot to pick him up.

Later, the kindergarten teacher who couldn't get off work was not happy, so he was forced to go home.So later, his entire childhood was spent in the dance studio of the regiment with his mother.

Naturally, all of them are female dance postures.

In the dead of night, Fang Li's voice was extremely low, and it took a long time for his sobs to stop slowly.

"Brother Ruan... At first, I didn't know that I was so strange." He looked up at the small window by the stairs, as if he was locked in the house and looked out when he was a child, "When I was in elementary school, I entered the school gate for the first time. , Some boys in the class chased after me and asked me if I was a boy or a girl. When I went into the men's room, some troublesome boys came over and pulled my pants.

"I was very scared, so I started to change it...but it always showed up involuntarily." In the night, Fang Li's face was as pale as a thin sheet of paper, "But the more I change it, the more, the more I want to do that."

Boundless shame oppressed him: "I only forget those unhappiness when I wear girl's clothes, put on girl's makeup, and dance."

Ruan Qingmu nodded: "So this is your way to decompress."

Fang Li said in a low voice: "Well... when you feel uncomfortable, you will really want to dance secretly by yourself. After dancing, you seem to be much happier."

Seeing that Ruan Qingmu remained silent, he gave a wry smile in despair: "You guys won't understand."

Ruan Qingmu frowned: "It's important whether other people understand or not, and you just have to be happy? Don't say you like to dance in women's clothes, but you just like to dance without clothes, what's the matter!"

Fang Li's eyes were miserable: "It's not like this, everyone clearly feels that... only perverts do this."

Ruan Qingmu looked at him fixedly, and said word by word: "Pervert ass, you're not bothering anyone."

Fang Li shook his head in pain: "You just said that to comfort me. Even Fu Songhua, he said that I..."

"I heard what he said that day." Ruan Qingmu took a long breath, patiently, "At that time he thought it was a thief, but he didn't know it was you."

"Whoever it is, he thinks that's disgusting, doesn't he?"

Ruan Qingmu endured: "It's just unintentional words, you don't want to be fooled."

Fang Li suddenly cried out excitedly, his voice was sharp: "Words without intention are the most true thoughts!"

Ruan Qingmu was startled, and quickly reached out to cover his mouth: "Fuck! Keep your voice down, do you want to call the dorm supervisor?"

Where the palm touched, it was cold and wet, and Fang Li's face was full of tears.

Ruan Qingmu slowly lowered her hand, looking at his delicate and haggard face.

After a long time, he asked in Fang Li's silent sobs, "Why do you care so much about that big fool?"

Fang Li raised his head in a daze and was stunned.

Ruan Qingmu stared at him, and continued calmly: "You have secretly looked at his photos on your phone several times, and I have seen them."

He is not a nosy person, let alone care about other people's gossip.

But Fang Li's seat was right in front of him, several times, during lunch breaks and class breaks, he inadvertently saw Fang Li's phone screen in front of him.

Glancing over, the screen is full of figures of a certain guy, some are playing wantonly on the basketball court, proud and stinky, and some are doing exercises on the podium with a high-spirited air.

The picture is not very clear, like a candid shot carefully and hastily.

Fang Li's lips trembled, and his face became even paler.He said almost panicked: "I... I didn't, I just took a look."

Ruan Qingmu looked at him quietly, with an indescribably strange look in his eyes, like sympathy and understanding.

Fang Li avoided his deep gaze, and was a little incoherent: "I, I don't mean anything else, I just think that other people are very nice...no one treats me that well."

Looking up at Ruan Qingmu, he was so anxious that he wanted to cry again: "No, no, Brother Ruan, you treat me better. But, but it's different..."

He finally couldn't speak anymore, covering his face, the boundless sense of shame and despair surged up and overwhelmed him.

Brother Ruan's good thing is to cover him and help him drive away those who bully him.

But Fu Songhua is good at chasing him and smiling at him alone.

From childhood to adulthood, he has always been careful to please others, please his classmates, and please his mother.

This is the only person who will look back at him with a smug smile when he is flying all over the field; will notice that his food expenses are not much, and specially take out a meal card to ask him to eat more; Pack snacks for him;

He would call tirelessly on WeChat every night: "Xiao Fangfang, Xiao Lili! What are you doing? Have you done your homework? Don't remember to ask me, I am the top ten in my grade!"...

Everything gave people an illusion, as if he also deserved to be treated with care, as if he was a special treasure.

Ruan Qingmu looked at him for a long time, then reached out and patted his shoulder.

"Fang Li, don't be afraid." He thought for a while before saying seriously, "No matter what you think, don't be ashamed of this, understand?"

Fang Li stared at him blankly.

Ruan Qingmu smiled lightly.

"I mean, it doesn't matter if you like dressing up, dancing girls, or liking someone, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, it's not wrong."

He was a little distracted: "I never thought about what it would be like to like someone before. But I thought about it just now, and I think it should be very good."

His usual demeanor is often a little lazy and tired, but in this sleepy night, his eyes are brighter than ever.

"It doesn't matter whether it has any results, it doesn't matter whether that person knows about it or not." He smiled softly and flamboyantly, "If you like it, you like it. There is no right or wrong, let alone feel sorry for it."

Fang Li didn't speak.

Ruan Qingmu stood up and stretched her waist: "Let's go, go back and have a good sleep."

Fang Li followed him and walked silently to the door of his bedroom.

Just about to open the door and go in, Ruan Qingmu suddenly called out from behind.

"Fang Li."

Fang Li looked back in a daze.

Ruan Qingmu stood at the stairs leading downstairs, and gave him a thumbs-up: "I forgot to mention it. It's very beautiful."

Fang Li stood there blankly, with tears in his eyes: "What, what?"

Ruan Qingmu stood in a loose posture, but her expression was serious: "Whether it's dancing or wearing girls' clothes, they are all very beautiful, really."

……