White-eyed wolf

1.

Spring and Jingming, the grass grows and the warblers fly.

Yu Yun woke up without warning, and in the spring of the fifth year after coma, he recovered with everything.

2.

In the few days when he just woke up, he could only open his eyes, or he was very clumsy, making some small movements.

His eyes are clear and immature, like a newborn baby, ignorantly looking at and testing this world that he has no nostalgia for.

He was covered in bruises, but he looked so clean, so clean that people felt that resurrection from the dead was a very cruel thing for him.

But Shen Zhao was really happy.

He was both happy and a little scared, and he couldn't believe it like a dream. He didn't even dare to sleep in those few days, for fear that when he woke up, he would fall into endless and hopeless waiting again.

He has had too many similar dreams. Over the years, he has dreamed of Yu Yun waking up countless times, but every time he wakes up from the big dream, the sense of loss of ups and downs, gains and losses tortured him to the point of death.

He thought that he probably wouldn't be able to live his whole life without Yu Yun.

"No one stands with me at dusk, and no one asks me how warm the porridge is." He didn't expect that in the end, his white hair only wrote the blankness of the years. This kind of life is too lonely. If one day, Yu Yun really goes He must have shot himself immediately and chased after him.

He was afraid that if he was one step too late, he would never be able to find him again in the next life.

Fortunately, Yu Yun really woke up this time, not a dream.

Gradually, Yu Yun not only opened his eyes, but could also hear people talking, and would cooperate with other people's actions. It seemed that he had a sense of autonomy, but he never spoke.

Sometimes he would look at Shen Zhao with strange eyes, and sometimes he would show very complicated expressions that seemed incomprehensible.

Shen Zhao wasn't sure if he was really awake, but just looking at him like this made his nose sour and wanted to cry.

In the past few days, he has indeed shed tears at every turn, sometimes when feeding Yu Yun rice cereal, sometimes when pushing him out to bask in the sun, and sometimes just when he just looks at him and doesn't speak.

Unconsciously, I can't control it.

For example, when Yu Yun finally spoke the first sentence, Shen Zhao was also crying.

3.

In the past few years in a coma, Yu Yun can sometimes feel that there is someone by his side who is always with him. In the few days when he just woke up, his thinking was very slow, he was half asleep and half awake, and everything seemed to be separated by a layer. Frosted glass, with a shadowy filter, although the whole world seems unreal, but he can always see a busy and blurry figure.

Strange, but a little familiar.

It wasn't until later that his vision gradually became clear and his mind became less chaotic that he realized that this person was always crying for no reason.

Sometimes he didn't seem to know that he was crying, and when he realized it, he wiped his face with his big hand, took a deep breath of air, and laughed bitterly.

That crying didn't seem to be sad. Although it was a little sour and bitter, it also brought some comfort and nostalgia. To use one word to describe it was "mixed feelings". Yu Yun couldn't understand this kind of emotion.

Or, to be more precise, he didn't quite understand what was going on.

So that day, he saw the man in front of him crying again, he finally raised his hand, touched his face, and asked, "...what are you crying for?"

Yu Yun hadn't spoken for too long, his voice was very dry, and the tone he made was a bit strange. It took him several seconds to finish a short sentence.

Shen Zhao was startled at first, and was stunned for a long time, then his heart suddenly started beating, as if he hadn't really come alive with Yu Yun until this moment all these years.

He hadn't heard this voice for so long that even his nostalgia had been distorted.

He grabbed Yu Yun's hand that was caressing his face, raised the corners of his mouth, and then drooped down convulsively for a while, the tears fell more fiercely, and suddenly he looked like crying and laughing: "...not crying... I ...Happy, so happy..."

Shen Zhao was so excited that he couldn't speak coherently, he took a deep breath with red eyes, and kissed the back of Yu Yun's hand, tears dripped onto it, it was wet and cool.

"...that's good." Shen Zhao held Yu Yun's hand tightly, as if afraid that he would escape, and gave another light kiss preciously, "that's good."

Yu Yun silently watched him immersed in his emotions, his heart throbbed for no reason, and some very vague fragments in his memory flashed in his mind, which made him instinctively feel a little bit about Shen Zhao's strong emotional expression. In fear, he retracted his hands, and asked nervously and cautiously: "...can you tell me, who are you?"

All the complicated expressions stopped abruptly, and all the indescribable emotions became blank. The "Brother" that was about to call out was blocked in his throat for a moment. Shen Zhao raised his head, frowned slowly, and looked at Yu Yun dumbly.

Yu Yun looked into his eyes and bit his lower lip. This inadvertent action reminded him of his distress.

He woke up from a deep sleep and left his memory in the past. He couldn't remember the cause and effect of his coma, and he couldn't remember who he was. His cognition of the world was limited to this house. The only face I can remember is Shen Zhao.

Seeing that Shen Zhao didn't answer, Yu Yun sighed lightly and looked out the window: "I seem to...don't remember anything."

He was still very quiet when he said this, but it sounded a little sad.

Sometimes forgetting is not necessarily a bad thing. Many people who walk alone in the world want to forget everything and start over, but not everyone has such an opportunity.

Some people can't live anymore, so they choose to die, so they really die, leaving nothing behind.

But God left Yu Yun with a blank body, those accidentally sealed memories are like a Pandora's box, burying all the past and the past, allowing him to regain his life.

Whether he wanted to or not, he survived.

Surviving, this is the best thing, it erases the full stop at the end of the story, and makes everything possible.

At this time, Shen Zhao is no longer the same Shen Zhao five years ago. He grew up the day Yu Yun jumped off the building, and he grew up in the next 1000 days and nights. He is no longer the one who waits for Yu Yun to call him at a loss. Shen Zhao said "Don't panic".

During this period, he often tried to feel the psychology of being a brother from Yu Yun's perspective, and imagined what he would do if he encountered the same thing. Gradually, those emotions that Yu Yun had never expressed all surfaced. .

In fact, it is not difficult to penetrate.

Yu Yun concealed everything, like a shield blocking all damage.

He does not slander and slander those who are important to Shen Zhao, even though their selfishness and despicability are facts, he does not resist Shen Zhao's revenge, and gives him an outlet for the only trouble in life, he has protected him for so many years, until the end Everything was open and honest, and cruelly gave Shen Zhao a reason to live alone.

Any punishment, any punishment, it's all nonsense, he just wants Shen Zhao to live, and he wants him to live well without himself.

He is so smart, he has calculated everything, he is categorical to Shen Zhao, and even more ruthless to himself.

He thought that everything would eventually pass, time would heal the scars, and when Shen Zhao forgot himself, he would live a peaceful and happy life again.

But he underestimated Shen Zhao's obsession with him, God was merciful and left him in this world, and Shen Zhao could not forget him.

After the brain was running at high speed, Shen Zhao sat on the bed, shoulder to shoulder with Yu Yun, he turned Yun's head, let him lean on his shoulder, played with his fingers casually, and whispered softly: "I am your brother, One year older than you, my name is Shen Zhao."

There is a reason for Shen Zhao to say this. Yu Yun's life has been suspended for four years and four months, and he is four years younger than him. Counting the time, he is already older than him.

He wanted to return all that he owed Yu Yun when he was a younger brother to him as an older brother.

Shen Zhao told a gentle lie that his elder brother would be hurt by his elder brother in the future.

"Brother...?" Yu Yun repeated it suspiciously. He felt that this name was very strange, the kind of strangeness that he had never called this name before, "Is it... biological?"

Shen Zhao nodded: "Yes, half mother."

"Then what's my name?" Yu Yun asked again.

"Your name is Yu Yun, 'Yu' in 'So', 'Yun' in 'Xie Daoyun'." Shen Zhao replied.

"Shen, Zhao...Yu, Yun...Shen..." Yu Yun slowly repeated these two names, as if trying to find a little bit of memory related to them in his blank brain.

"Is there anything else you want to know?" Shen Zhao interrupted his thoughts.

Yu Yun paused, shook her head, and after a while tugged at the corner of Shen Zhao's clothes: "Shen..."

For some reason, Yu Yun couldn’t pronounce the word “Brother” no matter what, and it made him feel very rude to call him “Shen Zhao” directly. The two names had a fight, which made Yu Yun’s mind suddenly stuck, and finally Only struggled to utter the word "Shen".

"What's wrong?" Shen Zhao asked.

Yu Yun's ears turned red, and she whispered, "I want to go to the toilet."

Shen Zhao straightened Yu Yun, got up from the bed, bent over, put one hand around Yu Yun's back, and put one hand under his shriveled and slender legs, and Yu Yun wrapped Shen Zhao's neck cooperatively at the same time. Enduring partner.

Shen Zhao subconsciously placed a kiss on Yu Yun's lips, and Yu Yun's mind went "boom", and he was stunned, staring at Shen Zhao in a daze, and asked, "... do brothers kiss too?"

Yu Yun, who lost his memory, was unexpectedly frank. Shen Zhao felt cute and said frankly: "No, ordinary brothers are not like this, but we are different. Apart from brothers, we are still lovers."

Yu Yun was even more confused, and looked at Shen Zhao with an expression of "I'm actually gay".

Shen Zhao also looked at him seriously for a few seconds.

"What I said is true," Shen Zhao pecked his lips again, and whispered, "I love you."

Yu Yun pursed her lips, lowered her eyes and did not continue to ask.

Liar, Yu Yun thought to himself.

Although he couldn't remember the specific people and things, he remembered that no one loved him, and no one treated him so well.