[Wen Ye] Ghosts and Notes

The future

——In fact, I know that I will never find the answer, but I still can't help looking for it.

A person can never clearly see what he looks like, the cruelest thing is to see his loved one dissecting himself indifferently.

"This is the new cadre of the Port Mafia, Tsushima-kun." The white-gloved hand gestured to applaud, but except Nakahara Chuya and Ozaki Koyo, the other cadres cast puzzled eyes.

With a chuckle, Mori Ogai explained in a low voice: "Well, although Tsushima-kun seems to be relatively young, the demise of the Eagle Feeder Association was controlled by Tsushima-kun."

"...!" Surprised gazes came from all around, and the rest of the cadres and the ministers of various departments looked at the gray-haired boy with his arms folded, quietly sitting on the chair without saying a word.

"Is there anything Tsushima-kun wants to say~" The black-haired man looked at the seat beside him and handed over the right to speak.

"...It doesn't matter." He raised his chin, revealing his eyes covered by bangs, his dark eyes glanced at the people around him indifferently, "If you can bring me some "sideshow", I welcome it visit. "

Shivering, everyone's backs were sweating slowly—the moment they looked at the little boy in front of them, they had an instinctive desire to escape.

——That is the subconscious fear of human beings towards the unknown and aliens.

"Okay, there's nothing to do and the meeting is over." With a wave of his hand, Mori Ogai dismissed everyone.

"Tsushima-kun~" a soft call stopped the young man who silently left the conference room and walked like a cat without making any sound.

"...Is there something?" The cold voice echoed in the corridor.

The boy couldn't smile anymore—the corners of his mouth were flattened, revealing a cold expression, and only thick gloom and indifference lingered on him.

The originally soft breath disappeared without a trace on Jin Dao's body at this time, like an empty cicada slough, thin and hollow.

"About the token of joining the Mafia... I don't seem to have given it to you yet." On the surface, he was still gentle, as if he had no doubts about the change of the other party, Mori Ogai was thoughtful in his heart.

What happened... that's why this kid's mentality has changed so much.

Because of Tsushima's keenness, Mori Ogai did not arrange eyeliner or conduct too many investigations on him.

But... I can still guess a little bit, it should be related to the "Eagle Breeding Society", otherwise this child would not be like a desperate beast, desperately tearing apart the enemy with his fangs.

"No need, I already have the token." After a while, the boy moved his lips and said, "Mr. Sen, do you think I'm scary now?"

Turning around, Tsushima changed the subject, "In your eyes, what do I look like?"

Through those black eyes filled with despair, Mori Ogai saw his own figure reflected in them, "Only Tsushima-kun knows about this kind of problem."

"Then I'm really a failed defective product." After prolonging the ending, the boy shrugged his shoulders self-deprecatingly.

"Is this how Tsushima sees himself? I think Tsushima-kun is very good."

"I should die, but I don't want to die." Suddenly, he spit out words irrelevant, as if lost in confusion, Tsushima tilted his head "...I have thought about it for a long time and I don't know What should I do, I'm probably going crazy."

"I feel like my birth, my value, and my future... all seem to have been decided already, and I just need to follow the trajectory." The voice paused for a moment, "But... ...It's very painful." The broken words melted and floated in the silent air.

"I hate pain, but what can I do besides obeying it." Slightly widening his eyes and nodding his head, the boy clapped his hands as if he had suddenly realized "...Then, if thinking is painful, then Just stop thinking about it."

"What do you think, Mr. Mori?" Suddenly, the boy giggled.

Her delicate eyes narrowed slightly, and she looked at the black-haired man in front of her intently and seriously, with a smile as sweet as honey, but it gave off an indescribable discomfort and malice.

"...I can't give an answer to this kind of thing." Noticing the thick bandage wrapped around the opponent's arm sharply, Mori Ogai sighed, "Tsushima-kun, are you injured?"

"Injured? How could I be injured?" Stretched, probably because he understood that the other party saw the bandage wrapped around his arm, so he asked this question.

Glancing at his wrist with a lack of interest, the boy flicked it in distaste, "It's just a 'decoration'. "

"Really, it seems that Tsushima-kun's preferences are very special~" A dark light flashed in his amethyst-like eyes.

Ruoyou Ruowu smelled a faint smell of blood from just now. At first, I thought it was the smell that Mr. Tsushima picked up during the mission, but now it seems...

Watching the back of the child jumping away, not knowing what to say, the man sighed helplessly, and raised his hand to hold his forehead.

"...Looks like another problem child."

"Where's Tsushima?" Frowning, the red-haired man pressed the hat on his head tightly, and looked around, "Why didn't I see anyone else." Have you forgotten?

But thinking that this guy Tsushima didn't have the bad habit of skipping work, Nakahara also dismissed this guess in his heart.

"Master Tsushima... just said that he wanted to stay alone for a while, so that we would not disturb him. He also said that if Mr. Zhongyuan came, he would let you go first, and he would arrive later."

"Huh? How could I go first alone." The man listened to the message left by the boy with a blank expression, and clicked his lips.

Could this guy really want to skip work...?

"Where is he, take me there."

Not daring to disobey the orders of the cadres, the subordinates in black finally obeyed "Yes..."

"Oh, it's Mr. Chuya?"

Sitting on top of a high cargo box, noticing the breath below, he raised his head and bent backwards to make a dangerous movement, the gray hair fell down due to the effect of gravity, revealing the boy's smooth forehead." .....I clearly let you go first."

"Hey, what are you doing at such a high place?" Scared by the other party's sudden backward posture, the red-haired man exclaimed in a low voice, "Come down quickly." This brat...

"It's okay, I won't die anyway." The tip of his tongue turned, emphatically spit out the word "death", and let out a small sigh, Tsushima let go of the hand that was clinging to the wooden box, and made a gesture of falling down .

The black coat fluttered and fluttered due to the force of the wind, like spread butterfly wings.

"...!" Seeing the figure falling from the top of the tall container pile, his pupils shrank suddenly, and Nakahara Zhong also subconsciously ran forward quickly, opening his arms.

However, what was unexpected was that Tsushima deftly changed positions in the air, avoiding the man's embrace, rubbed his side and rolled to release his strength, and stood firmly on the ground, "Look~ I'm fine." The corners of his lips hooked Get up, close your eyes obediently, a smile blooms on your delicate face.

"..." Although I was a little angry, I still held back my anger. After all, I have no position to ask the other party.With his hands in his pockets, the brown-haired man snorted coldly, "Let's go."

However, after glancing at the young man who was following him from the corner of his eye, Zhong Yuanzhong also felt something was wrong.

Frowning, he secretly looked at the people around him, and later realized where the sense of disobedience came from.

The teenager who usually doesn't wear much clothes, usually just wearing a shirt, is actually dressed so tightly today that he even has his coat buttoned up.If it's winter, then it's normal, but it's because it's summer - and there are too many clothes.

"...Isn't it hot?"

"It's not hot at all." As if he didn't understand why the other party asked such a question, Tsushima exaggeratedly looked at his attire.

"You are very wrong today." Although it feels the same as usual, there is always a lingering sense of incongruity lingering on the young man in front of him.

As if stimulated by his own sharp and suspicious eyes, a slight panic flashed in those black eyes - but was keenly captured by Chuuya.

"Is there something wrong with you..."

Looking at someone who took a few steps back, Nakahara Nakaya subconsciously grabbed Tsushima's wrist to stop him from fleeing, "Hey, what is this?" Surprised to feel the roughness of the skin on his palm, he pulled out the other person's huddle The arm in the sleeve, what caught the eye was something that made the brown-haired man unbelievable, "Huh—a bandage?"

"Did you learn it from that bastard mackerel?" What can't be learned to learn this, this kid is really capable.

His eyelids twitched, probably because he recalled something unpleasant, and he grabbed the white gauze tightly wrapped around his arm in disgust, "You are still wearing this in summer... you are not hot... . ” The voice of complaining gradually became smaller and then stopped.

Looking at the dense and patchwork wet incisions all over the fair skin, revealing pink flesh, the man opened his mouth.

"Huh...?" Blood dripped down like beads from the torn wound that he had just rudely tore off the bandage.After frantically folding the bandage, the man hurriedly pressed the wound to stop the bleeding, "Who did this." Chuya said through gritted teeth in a deep and angry voice from his throat.

"......no."

long silence.

"Because I'm so stupid...it's all my fault, so..."

Only the pain can hold back my crumbling rationality, so that I can still feel a little "real sense" of being alive.

When the tip of the knife scratched his skin, the pain that surged up turned into rain instead.Beautiful, vibrant blood blooms on the skin, a vibrant, gorgeous color—bringing an eerie tinge of satisfaction and comfort to a weary heart.

"—This is all my fault, this is all my fault."

This is punishment, and it is the punishment due to the incompetent, the clumsy, the vulgar.

As if accidentally scalded by a man's hot and worried eyes, his cheeks gradually became hot from shame.

Finally unable to bear it any longer, he lowered his head sadly, escaping like an ostrich, Tsushima closed his eyes in low self-esteem, and looked away.

The author has something to say: If Tsushima was born with anti-social personality, maybe it would not be so painful.

But he can't escape this pain. If he was an ordinary person, he might still live peacefully, but he is "disqualified in the world", and he was destined to walk on the path that has been arranged since he was born. To grit your teeth and go on.

Because he bears the expectation called "love".

He cannot be released by hurting others, so he can only find relief by hurting himself.

In Tsushima's eyes, if he didn't become friends with his uncle, there would be no tragedy.

It is because I am too stupid, ignoring the warnings of Dazai Ogai and Mori Ogai that "you are not suitable for making friends", will end up in today's field.

This happened because of my stupidity.

Everyone is fine, stop casting sympathetic glances at yourself.Even if it's accusation and punishment, why doesn't anyone tell me what to do?

But Tsushima was not wrong, it was someone else who was wrong.

He is too soft and has excessive low self-esteem, so he takes all the faults on himself, and then punishes himself.

But what you want to do, you can only make your own decisions, and others cannot make decisions for you.

Because in the eyes of Mori Ogai, Tsushima is a human rather than a puppet machine, so he is unwilling to command Tsushima.

Mr. Mori was also very distressed, not knowing how to enlighten Tsushima next.

Tsushima's sensitivity is destined to lack the ability to resolve himself, and he will only bury all negative emotions in his heart alone, absorbing them all like a sponge.

Sensitive and gentle people don't have too much fun, that's a fact.

So people sometimes say that a big heart is also a good quality.