Seasonal season

The road at the door and the white van seem to have reached an annoying tacit agreement.He was running hard, and the car was hard going away.He couldn't let the road that spread into the distance suddenly cut off, making the car nowhere to go; he couldn't let himself have enough speed to catch up with the van and block its way.

Twilight is everywhere, and the camphor in front of the door is covered with a tree of gloom.At the age of four, he was pushed away from his arms by his mother, leaving him standing numbly by the side of the road.I saw my mother get into the white van, and the door was firmly closed after the engine started.Only then did he realize that he should fight for something.He started to cry, and ran while crying, but he could never catch up with the car that took his mother away...

20 years.

Suddenly a dream.

For 20 years, Song Wenxi often dreamed of this scene.Time passed, and 20 years later, he no longer remembered his mother's face, or whether she shed tears of reluctance when she turned to leave.I just remember that my father was also standing on the stone steps blankly, surrounded by neighbors who came out to watch.

When he ran to chase the car, his sister Song Wenya, who was ten years old at the time, came to chase his brother crying.From the moment the car drove out of their sight, the originally happy family of four turned into a family of three.

In dream after dream, Wenxi couldn't break free.Until now, this thing is still like a thorn, and it will prick him from time to time.In the blink of an eye, it's May, and the editor-in-chief has already issued a special topic on Mother's Day.Seeing colleagues trying their best to make this year's Mother's Day report vivid and fun, Wenxi resisted in her heart.When someone discusses what gift should be given to his mother, he usually gets up from his seat and either goes to the lounge to be quiet or go out to collect new content.

In the eyes of others, the holy and great mother, to him, is just an irresponsible, ruthless woman who abandoned her husband and son in order to elope with a wholesaler. For 20 years, he repeated the same dream.According to Freud's theory, the reason for this situation may be that his subconscious cannot digest this painful childhood shadow.

When I was a child, this kind of dream still contained the hope that my mother would come back one day.But over time, as he went from boy to teenager to youth, that hope had turned into a deep-rooted resentment.He dreamed of her, which had become a kind of habit, and this kind of habit made the pain that he always wanted to forget last forever.

He hated this surge of hatred that was always coming back.Sometimes, standing on the roof of the magazine office, looking at the scattered buildings under the gray sky, I would think: how is she doing now?Do you occasionally think of him, your sister, or your father?

When his thoughts returned, he turned and went downstairs, and said to himself: She definitely doesn't want to.

If I thought about it, I wouldn't have had that wholesaler in the first place; if I thought about it, I wouldn't have abandoned them so heartlessly.Now, she may have new children, and she may be doing well, and she has no time to think about them.Her former young son, her former daughter, and her former husband were all completely forgotten by her.

Opening his eyes from his sleep, Wenxi stared at the ceiling in concentration.The uncles and aunts downstairs have already started to say hello loudly, and you don’t need to turn your head to look at the alarm clock to know: 06:30.

This is the staff quarter of the cotton spinning factory.He has lived here since he was born. In the past 20 years, the community has changed from a relatively western style to the current urban village.Although the house is a bit crowded and old, the people here are either old colleagues or old neighbors. They know each other well, and even if they have quarrels occasionally, they will reconcile soon, like a big family.

Even so, the news that shocked the whole community made Dad bear a lot of pressure.People, there are always people who are doing good things, and some lace news will be spread, not to mention this kind of drama that is comparable to the plot of a TV series.

The old neighbors were of course on Dad's side when the women were still living here and had sex with other men.But when that person disappeared from sight, they lost the fun of attacking, and more gossip turned to them.From Lao Song's cowardice to children's education, from Wen Ya's occasional drive away those children in the community who taunted him for his younger brother, they can all say "what kind of mother raises what kind of daughter".Human nature is just like this, so it's hard to say much, but that period of the past was definitely not easy.

He didn't understand why Dad didn't move away.Such a silent and sentimental person like him would rather silently accept the pointers from behind, and never thought of moving away from the place of right and wrong.Perhaps, as an employee, he has a deep nostalgia for this place, perhaps...he is still vaguely hoping that one day, she will come back.

"Old Song—"

Someone downstairs called Dad.His house is on the second floor, even if the windows are closed, they can't block the angry voices of these old men and grandmothers.The sound waves quickly penetrated the glass, penetrated his bedroom, penetrated the living room, and reached the ears of Dad who was busy in the kitchen.

I rushed to draft last night and didn't go to sleep until midnight.The magazine office goes to work at nine o'clock, and it takes only half an hour to take the bus and walk.Waking up at this point every morning is a no-brainer.According to his personality, regardless of his seniority, he always wants to remind him that he can't ignore the life and death of those babies who still have to work from [-] to [-] just because he is retired and unemployed? !

He pulled off the blanket and covered his head, but still heard the loud voice of Aunt Zhang next door reaching the eardrums. She was discussing the evening square dance practice with Aunt Liu in the next building.

"Wait while I make breakfast."

Dad has already run to the window of sister's room, talking loudly to the following.

Wenxi pulled down the blanket helplessly, and crawled over to reach the phone with her fingers.I don't know why this thing was invented?These old men and women basically rely on yelling to get in touch.

If it wasn't for his father, he would have knocked on the door to do ideological work.Thinking of my father's introverted personality, in the first half of his life, in order to raise a pair of children, he had no other pleasure except making money to support the family.After finally retiring, she was afraid of being ridiculed by her neighbors and dared not communicate with others, but now she is willing to go out to play Tai Chi and dance with them. Wenxi has nothing to complain about.

Therefore, even if these ignorant old people still insist on dating Lao Song in this uncivilized way, even if he is too sleepy to lift his eyelids, they still grit their teeth and endure it.He endured it and could catch up on sleep at any time.But Lao Song was about to be squeezed out by those old friends, and he, as a son, was too undeserving.

Woke up and couldn't sleep anymore, so I just got up and had breakfast.The house is three bedrooms and one living room, not big.When passing Wenya's room, he couldn't help turning his head to look.Since she got married, the room is still the same as when she was in school, but with a big bed.

Dad seemed to like keeping things as they were, and although he couldn't say there was anything wrong with it, it felt strange at the same time.It is precisely because many things have not changed that things that have changed will appear awkward.

He looked at the elegant room, as if returning to the scene 15 years ago.

That morning, he woke up the same way.Rubbing my eyes and passing by the door, I saw the open door and my father sitting on the ground with his head buried in his sister's bed.

The pain in his childhood made his heart beat faster and his eyelids hot when he saw his father's decadent appearance.He didn't know, apart from such a big event as his mother leaving, what other blows could make his father become like this.

At the age of nine years, at an age when he said he was sensible but did not fully understand, he persuaded himself to calm down in his heart, while pressing down on his body that was about to become unsteady due to the violent heartbeat, he walked slowly into the room.

The bed was empty, which made him feel relieved: for a moment, he thought his sister was gone.

My sister is gone.Not the kind of "gone", but left.Lao Song grabbed the letter paper left by his daughter in his hand, and wept for the first time.Five years ago, when his mother left, he was only silent, but he had never cried like this.

The elder sister who graduated from junior high school chose to go south to work alone in order to reduce the burden on her father.Until many years later, Wen Ya occasionally joked: "If I hadn't been so righteous and gave you the opportunity to go to school, how would you be where you are today?"

"As far as your grades are concerned..." Wenxi raised his eyelids in disgust, "But you can't pass the exam anyway, so it's a good deal to sell favors."

Wenya laughed and scolded him for being heartless.

"For you to study, just make up your sister like this? You little white-eyed wolf!"

Of course, jokes are jokes.In fact, both siblings understand that what they say to each other is not the truth.On the surface, Wenxi likes to choke on her sister, but deep down in her heart, her sister is an important existence to make up for the vacancy of her mother.The people he values ​​most are his father and sister.Without them, he would not be where he is now.It's not that he's doing well now, but because of these two people, he grew up healthy and relatively happy without a mother's love.

After breakfast and freshening up, Wenxi took her bag and went downstairs.While waiting for the shuttle bus at the gate of the community, Lao Song came from the other side with a group of neighbors.When passing by, it is inevitable to ask a few questions about rice and milk?

Aunt Zhang clicked her tongue: "Your son is still in kindergarten? He's such a big boy, are you afraid that he won't know how to eat? He's more careful than our girls."

Lao Song explained embarrassingly: "If you don't remind him, he always forgets to eat."

Someone said: "Don't tell me, Lao Song is good at raising children, and his son is better than his daughter. Tell me, which young man can look as meticulous as Wenxi?"

Wenxi smiled dryly: "Uncle Cao, are you complimenting me or hurting me?" (He was almost sissy)

"You child, is it wrong to praise you?"

"You, everything is right."

"Don't blame us for talking too much, your father is like a stone man, we can worry about you. You are not young, it's time to find a good girl."

Wenxi hurriedly chased them: "I know, I know, all uncles and aunts, go home and have breakfast after you exercise."

As soon as the group of people walked away laughing, the bus came.Wenxi sat in the window seat in the first row behind the middle door.As the car drove away, the neighborhood of my home was left behind.

When my mother left, did I also feel this melancholy?

When I passed the elegant clothing store, the door was still closed.Usually it is not until 09:30 that the new clerk will come to open the shutter.Before getting married, Wen Ya returned to this city and opened a clothing store. After seven or eight years of hard work, the business was pretty good.It is a small business, and she is not determined to make it bigger. She basically manages the clothing store by herself.I was too busy last year, so I hired a girl.

The car continued to drive forward, and when he was staring blankly at the bustling breakfast stalls at both ends of the street, the smell of egg burrito mixed with the smell of rose perfume hit him, and he noticed that Hu Ruoyan had already sat beside him.

"Do you want?"

"I have already eaten."

Someone said: "It's a bit miserable for you, a young lady, to eat food from street stalls every day."

"My parents gave birth to me irresponsibly. I guess they don't even know how to raise me."

Hu Ruoyan is a typical high-ranking son.My father is the director of the Education Bureau of this city, and my mother is a university professor. She is usually very busy at work, and her mother lacks enthusiasm for doing housework, which makes her eat delicious food outside.

Li Chen behind him made a "cut--", his original intention was to rush to Wenxi: "The goddess is talking to you with a cold face!"But Ruoyan mistakenly thought that he was targeting her, so she gave a counterattack look to the back.

Li Chen didn't say anything.He has been secretly in love with Ruoyan for a long time, but she only has Song Wenxi in her eyes.He looked at the back of Wenxi's head, wondering what's wrong with this man?Apart from her good looks, she is usually favored by the editor-in-chief, arrogant and complacent, and has no one in her eyes.Especially when facing Hu Ruoyan's attention, she has always been lukewarm, neither salty nor bland, but her enthusiasm is still undiminished.What a silly woman!

The car drove past an alley, and Wenxi's thoughts were brought back again.Back then, his sister brought him here to eat wonton before preparing to work.

There is a shop selling wontons at the entrance of the alley.At the age of nine, he was dragged into this small shop by his sister.Sit down and look around.Through the steaming steam, he saw a boy about his age sitting at the opposite table.Holding the schoolbag in both hands, she quietly said nothing, as if waiting for someone.

Looking back now, my sister had something on her mind at that time, so she changed her old temper and kept scooping the wontons from her own bowl into his bowl, but Wenxi's attention was not on her sister at that time.

Holding a spoon, he watched the clean-looking boy secretly through the rising water vapor on the wontons.He was a little curious, wondering why he was sitting here alone?Don't have mom and dad?

The boy looks lonely, but he is more elegantly dressed.It was still a bit chilly in the evening in early spring. He was wearing a plaid jacket, the buttons were buttoned up one by one, and only the round collar of the brown sweater was exposed.

When he looked at him, the boy on the opposite side looked over as if aware of it.Wenxi lowered her eyes and hurriedly pretended to be biting wontons.

When the meal was almost finished, a well-dressed woman appeared at the door of the store.The glass door was opened, and the voice of calling each other was not heard, only the boy stood up silently, carried his schoolbag on his back, and picked up a black piano bag from the seat, which looked like a violin.

Wenxi guessed it was his mother, but neither of them spoke, the boy just followed the woman out.When the woman opened the sliding door, the boy glanced back at Wenxi...

I don't know why, except for his mother, that boy is someone Wenxi often thinks of.How could a stranger, a person who only met once, leave such a deep impression on his heart?He didn't understand it himself.It may be that the boy has a strong sense of loneliness.Lonely people can always quickly perceive the magnetic field around them. Once they touch similar people, they will transfer their own psychology, resulting in a feeling of sympathy and sympathy.

Perhaps an illusion, a kind of psychic mirage.

Fifteen years have passed, the boy should have grown to his own age.It is said that there are no encounters in life, but where are the people and things that the bright moon illuminated at that time, where are they now?Some people, passing by, looked at each other, then submerged in the vast crowd again, went to their own life paths, and never saw each other again.

Compared with the huge population base, this rare probability is both surprising and depressing.

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