you better not like me

There was a long silence between the two.

After a long time, the water in the glass was no longer hot, and Zhan Ke finally said hoarsely: "The relationship of several months does not count."

Chen Yan rubbed his cervical spine, "I don't need Mr. Lao Zhan to worry about that."

"I just……"

"Of course I can't be like you. The relationship of several years can't be counted." Chen Yan said.

Zhan Ke's eyes darkened instantly. He wanted to explain, but found that there was no way to talk about it.

It took six years for their relationship from Chen Yan's first confession to the complete breakup.

In six years, he never admitted his feelings for Chen Yan, not even for a moment.

"Are you sure you want to talk to me about this topic?" Chen Yan asked.

When it comes to the past, Chen Yan can pretend that he doesn't care, and he can keep calm for as long as he talks.

But he knew that Zhan Ke couldn't do it.

Zhan Ke is a person who can't act at all.Maybe I can do "acting", but I will never be able to do it well. I am afraid that the other party will not be able to see it if my acting skills are clumsy.

Chen Yan understood too well.

He knows Zhan Ke too well.

"Mr. Zhan, it's getting late." Chen Yan took out his phone and turned it on while speaking, and showed Zhan Ke the time displayed on the lock screen—handed it to his eyes, almost forcing him to look up the time.

And there is no more obvious eviction order than this.

Zhan Ke held the water glass and avoided talking, "Where... is your girlfriend, does she live with you?" It was very difficult to say the word girlfriend.

Chen Yan replied very naturally: "My wife, she went to take care of her mother when she was ill. So what else can Mr. Zhan do?"

"Are you living together before you get married?" Zhan Ke automatically ignored the second half of the sentence.

Chen Yan almost laughed angrily, "Didn't we live together before? No, we're not married either."

This time, the topic was completely brought between the two of them.

Zhan Ke took a big gulp of hot water and felt that it was scalding into his heart.

Chen Yan stared at him and said, "Oh, no. We don't even count as dating."

Zhan Ke looked at him, and met his eyes, and the emotions in their eyes knew each other well.

Zhan Ke felt that when he came to Chen Yan, he was trying to find something uncomfortable, and Chen Yan also lived up to his expectations, stabbing him with a knife.

Zhan Ke suddenly felt very sick in his heart, feeling the feeling of being stabbed by a knife, which could prove the existence of this person.

"Mr. Zhan..." Chen Yan still wanted to repeat that sentence.

But he was interrupted by Zhan Ke, who said in a low voice, "Don't call him Mr. Zhan."

In today's society, there are too many of this and that. The reason for the many is that people who call this name are unfamiliar people, and people who are unfamiliar with people in life are much more than familiar people. No, Zhan Ke is not at all willing to be a part of the crowd.

"What's that called?" Chen Yan touched the back of his head, "Ex-boyfriend?"

Ex-boyfriend.

Oscar winner Chen, finally achieved success today, because it was a word that echoed in my heart for many years but never said it even once.

Chen Yan felt that when he said these three words in a mocking and joking tone, his tone was justified, but his voice was trembling.

For a moment, he hoped that Zhan Ke wouldn't hear his panic.

The next second was relieved.

So what, so what, how can it be.

Zhan Ke couldn't help it anymore. From the first time he saw Chen Yan last night, he knew that his emotions would always collapse.

But I didn't expect it to collapse so quickly.

Menacing.

Caught off guard.

And as expected.

"Chen Yan," Zhan Ke said, "I was wrong, I'm sorry."

This endless apology came at an inexplicable moment.

However, Chen Yan still felt a shock in his chest, as if his heart that had been frozen for a long time was hit hard, and there were ice slags everywhere.

It was like the thousand-year-old ice around the heart was finally broken by its owner, and Chen Yan was given a healthy heart that could beat normally.

Chen Yan didn't pretend to be confused, just said: "Apology is useless if it comes too late." He smiled at Zhanke, "I mean, I don't need your apology now, so I won't Accepted."

Zhan Ke froze, and repeated the sentence "I'm sorry" stiffly.

Chen Yan was a little annoyed.

He couldn't help himself to ask: "You said I'm sorry, do you know what's wrong? Maybe you know, after so many years, you finally know that I'm not sick, and that homosexuality is not a disease, but will you change it? Do you know that you can accept it if you are not sick? I, I am gay, you don’t accept it. No, you don’t even accept yourself, let alone others. So what’s the point of your apology? "

Chen Yan felt that he was getting sicker and sicker, he just wanted to stimulate Zhan Ke.

As soon as he saw Zhan Ke, he couldn't help wanting to be excited.

Just like he always talks to himself late at night to stimulate himself.

Chen Yan is very envious of those who let go as soon as they say let go, and also envy those who forget about each other after breaking up, he even envies those who have lost their hearts.But he doesn't take any of them, he doesn't even dare to ask himself "do you still love him", because he knows that the answer has always been yes, and he is afraid that it will always be yes.

As soon as you meet this person, the feelings that have been suppressed for many years will resurface, floating on the most superficial and most vulnerable places.

Chen Yan was very scared, afraid that if he couldn't hold on for a while, he would be seen by Zhan Ke.

His love is fragile and firm, and it will hurt half of his life when stabbed, but it will always be only half, never dead.

Chen Yan waited for five years.

The pain is so delirious, the pain is so painful that weep unconsciously.

None die.

Zhan Ke didn't say a word.

But looking at him choking, Chen Yan felt even more uncomfortable.

Even if he said such things on purpose, the deepest expectation in his heart was to refute.

He desperately expected Zhan Ke to refute himself.

ridiculous.

so tired.

Chen Yan closed his eyes and lost his strength.

After torturing himself in his heart, he no longer had the strength to move.

"roll."

He wanted to yell this word to Zhan Ke very loudly, a little bit of venting would make him feel better a hundred times.

but no.

Even the word "scroll" was spoken out of breath.

Not even sure Zhan Ke heard it.

"Zhan Ke, don't come to me again." Chen Yan said, "You know how much trouble it will be to be entangled with me, I don't think you will be willing to come for another six years."

Zhan Ke didn't move.

Chen Yan breathed out, he raised his heavy eyelids, and saw Zhan Ke sitting there as motionless as a mountain staring at himself.

Chen Yan asked: "Do you want an invitation?"

Zhan Ke didn't answer.

"The 15th of this month." Chen Yan said.

Zhan Ke didn't answer.

"Does my ex-boyfriend wish me a happy wedding?" Chen Yan asked.

Zhan Ke stood up suddenly.

He stared coldly at Chen Yan who was sitting on the sofa.

walked over.

"You don't need to stand in front of me to wish, just give a verbal blessing." Chen Yan laughed.

Zhan Ke walked up to him, lowered his head and looked at Chen Yan, he stared at Chen Yan for a long time, then bent one leg and squatted down.

Chen Yan was caught off guard and raised all his strength to sit up straight.

"Chen Yan, your complexion is very bad." Zhan Ke said, "I won't wish you a happy wedding, I can't do it. I just want to tell you that my apology is for my paranoid stupidity in the past , for my paranoid homophobia, for you, for me, for my stupid taking you to a psychiatrist, for the many wrong things I've done."

Chen Yan rubbed his eyebrows tiredly, stood up and wanted to leave.

"Just a few words." As soon as Chen Yan moved, Zhan Ke stood up, and he grabbed Chen Yan's arm.

Chen Yan withdrew his arm forcefully, "I don't want to hear it."

Zhan Ke bit his lower lip hard, "Can you not get married?"

Chen Yan was a little happy, he actually heard Zhan Ke's cautiousness.

Chen Yan has just passed 1.8 meters, he is a little shorter than Zhan Ke, and his aura is not as good as this man who looks fierce just by looking at his face.

But he said: "Zhan Ke, you are so entangled with me as a homosexual, are you worthy of what you said before? You'd better see a psychiatrist more, after all homosexuality can be cured."

Chen Yan said the last three words very forcefully.

Chen Yan said again, "Of course I want to get married, and I also advise you to get married early."

After finishing speaking, Chen Yan went back to the bedroom.

He didn't have the strength to urge the big Buddha to go away again and again. He was very tired and he just wanted to sleep.