After Hell

Qin Yijie, who has just entered high school life, is very happy.It seems that the treasure that has been lost for a long time is suddenly found. The days of living in the bright sunshine every day are simply refreshing.

At that time, Qin Yijie was in the first year of high school, and Zhang Xiaoheng was in the third year of high school.Senior [-] is much easier than Senior [-]. Qin Yijie and the others leave school one class earlier than Senior [-] students every day.Because the seniors and sisters in the third year of high school are all facing the pressure of the college entrance examination, the school added a self-study class for the senior grades after school.This self-study class is used to ask the teacher various questions for the hard-working seniors.

It took Qin Yijie a week to find out Zhang Xiaoheng's class, physical education class time and self-study class time.When the first year of high school started, Qin Yijie didn't have any conscious desire to talk to Zhang Xiaoheng.

It should be said that with Qin Yijie's youthful feelings at the time, first love was still quite ignorant to him.This is completely outside the scope of what he needs to think with his head.Everything is just as you like.

Every day, he just calculated the time for school, and met Zhang Xiaoheng unexpectedly when he entered the school; when the whole school was having radio exercises in the morning, he glanced at Zhang Xiaoheng's figure hidden in the crowd from the passing senior high school students; When eating in the cafeteria, the team next to Zhang Xiaoheng secretly stared at his side face; when Zhang Xiaoheng was in physical education class, queuing up on the playground or running, Qin Yijie took advantage of the breaks between classes to stand in the corridor and watch from a distance. His every move; and when school was over, he wandered around the campus until he saw Zhang Xiaoheng leaving the teaching building with his schoolbag on his back and leaving the campus to go home.

The confused and innocent first love quietly accompanied his youthful memories every day.As long as he can see Zhang Xiaoheng a few times a day, Qin Yijie will feel sweet and satisfied.Even Qin Yijie didn't realize that he had fallen into a secret love at the time.Everything is hazy as if separated by a thin layer of gauze.

When Qin Yijie clearly realized that he had a crush on Zhang Xiaoheng, it was already his winter vacation in the first year of high school.

After the end of the first semester of senior high school, the students all took the winter vacation as usual.

In just one month, Qin Yijie lived like a year.

Not being able to see Zhang Xiaoheng every day during the winter vacation is simply suffering.He never felt that there was a day before that was as pale and dull as any day of winter vacation.The meals were all cooked by the same nanny, but every dish tasted like it was boiled in plain water.My favorite sports channel, I switch channels within a few minutes of watching it.Qin Yijie was completely unable to calm down and watch a game in its entirety.When I go to bed at night, I turn off the lights, and my mind is full of Zhang Xiaoheng, standing or sitting, running, or standing still.Every minute and every second, Zhang Xiaoheng occupied Qin Yijie's entire heart.It wasn't until this moment, when he knew so clearly that he missed someone, that Qin Yijie realized that he was in love.

why miss you

Why do I want to see you all the time?

because--

I like you.

Looking forward to the stars and the moon to survive the winter vacation, it is finally the beginning of school.

This time Qin Yijie's IQ was finally forced by his crush to increase by ten or even twenty points.

The stunned young man who would only stop and watch but not stride forward, Qin Yijie, who has been tossing around for three years in junior high school and half a year in high school, is no longer content to just look at Zhang Xiaoheng from afar this time.He learned to observe this slightly high-end secret love skill closely.

While busy getting close to Zhang Xiaoheng, he was busy looking at various books on homosexuality, science education, or social analysis.In addition to the sourness and sweetness in his heart every day, Qin Yijie also has his own little heart tenderized by the academic analysis and various cases described in the book.

After wasting almost two weeks, Qin Yijie finally discovered that Zhang Xiaoheng has a good habit, which is especially beneficial to his plan to get close to him.

Zhang Xiaoheng likes to go to the library to read a book while warming up during his lunch break every day.Just after the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, the weather is still very cold, and if it rains again, it will be even more chilly.

When people sit indoors, they will feel that there is a damp and cold air constantly drilling into the soles of their feet.

The key high school where Qin Yijie and Zhang Xiaoheng attended had a very well-built library.Not only is it large in size, it has a complete range of science and education and various study reference books, but also has heating and air conditioning.It is undoubtedly the most popular place for students who like to read and study hard every day when the weather is bad.

Zhang Xiaoheng was usually the one who arrived earlier after lunch.At that time, there were not many students coming, so he would choose the corner next to the radiator to read or do homework.

When Qin Yijie approached him for the first time, his heart was beating wildly.For fear of being thrown out by him as a pervert.

In fact, Qin Yijie had a guilty conscience and thought too much.Once Zhang Xiaoheng starts learning to read, he will devote himself wholeheartedly.No matter who is sitting next to him at this time, he will not be distracted.Even if someone plays heavy metal music or argues loudly on the phone next to him, he is completely unaffected.Of course, this rarely happens.Because even if he doesn't mind, some students around him will, and the librarian will drive out such noisemakers.

But our classmate Qin Yijie doesn't understand the situation!He took a book by the side and pretended to read it, but no matter how close he was to the book, not a single word could get into his mind.At this moment, the sharpest thing in his whole body is nothing but his eyesight, and he can scan Zhang Xiaoheng's perfect profile with just his peripheral vision.

Qin Yijie lay on his stomach for a while, sat up straight for a while, scratched his head for a while, and crackled pretending to turn the page for a while, and the noise he made finally attracted the attention of several seniors around him.

With no other choice, Qin Yijie had no choice but to open the blank notebook with a flushed face, and tried to use a pencil to outline the profile of Zhang Xiaoheng who was concentrating on reading a book.This behavior was just a coincidence, but it relieved a lot of tension for Qin Yijie, who was so close to Zhang Xiaoheng for the first time after falling in love with Zhang Xiaoheng secretly.

One stroke, two strokes, three strokes...

Qin Yijie was a little shocked by his achievements when the similar outline of that person could be vaguely seen in the drawn character.In the past, apart from the art class, he basically didn't think about what to draw.But this time he consciously started to write, but unexpectedly let him discover his talent in painting.This somewhat rough sketch of a character is actually [-]% similar to a real person.Qin Yijie calmed down slowly, immersed in the surprise feeling of integrating the real person around him into his writing.The embarrassment and nervousness of being next to Zhang Xiaoheng for the first time disappeared in a daze.

Time flies by like a white horse.Qin Yijie, this little idiot, wasted another three months like a voyeur in a stupid way, like a little husky with a strange brain circuit every day, only knowing to draw Zhang Xiaoheng's portrait with two or three seats away.

Perhaps there is another explanation for his behavior besides being stupid, stupid, and stupid.A much more beautiful explanation: facing the sweetheart, showing cautiousness unconsciously.Qin Yijie was afraid of disturbing him, afraid of making him unhappy, afraid of delaying every minute of his reading and studying.So just watching him silently and being with him is enough.

***********

What Qin Yijie didn't expect was that it would be Zhang Xiaoheng himself who broke the one-way relationship between them.He didn't know what it was like for a poor person to win a billion-dollar prize overnight, but he knew very clearly that the moment Zhang Xiaoheng took the initiative to talk to him was the most brilliant and beautiful moment in his 16 years of life.

The surprise of seeing the winter snow melted by the sun in front of my eyes was on a sunny afternoon that can be called "April day in the world".

That morning, Qin Yijie and his class just had a long-distance running practice.Boys' 1000 meters and girls' 800 meters are required to run in 4 minutes.Qin Yijie passed the test perfectly with a time of 3 minutes and 26 seconds, and then played basketball with a few classmates for half a class.The whole morning exhausted him so much that he fell asleep at the table two seats away from Zhang Xiaoheng during his lunch break.

The weather in early April is not yet warm, and there is still the coolness of mid-spring in the wind.When Qin Yijie came to the library, he didn't wear a school uniform jacket, but just slept in a single-layer T-shirt.In fact, he only lay on the stomach for more than 20 minutes at that time, but he slept surprisingly comfortably.When he woke up in a daze, he found that he was covered with a coat.Subconsciously, he stretched out a hand and wanted to pull the strange coat.

"Are you awake? Don't be in a hurry to take off your clothes, just put them on for a few minutes." A warm, youthful voice rang out.

Qin Yijie rubbed his somewhat dry eyes, and when he saw clearly that it was Zhang Xiaoheng who was talking to him, he suddenly lost all drowsiness, and his whole body woke up as if he had been injected with chicken blood.

"Senior, senior, I remember that I didn't wear a coat. Is this your coat?" Qin Yijie suddenly stuttered, and started beating wildly after a cardiac arrest.Happiness came too fast for him to react.

This is Zhang Xiaoheng's clothes!It's the clothes of the person he likes!Qin Yijie tried his best to hold back the excitement of wanting to howl twice.

"That's right. You'll catch a cold if you're sitting in the air, wearing so little clothes." Zhang Xiaoheng looked at Qin Yijie with a smile and said.

Qin Yijie saw that Zhang Xiaoheng's narrowed eyes were still shining brightly, and those clear eyes looked at him with a smile as if they were filled with water.Qin Yijie's face blushed instantly:

"Thank you, thank you senior."

"It's okay. You can do your homework. I'll read the book for a while and then go back to the classroom." After speaking, Zhang Xiaoheng turned back and continued to read the "High School Mathematics Difficulties Breakthrough Problem Collection".

From that day on, Qin Yijie seemed to be awakened passively.He finally realized that he could also talk to Zhang Xiaoheng from time to time.Zhang Xiaoheng seems to be an angel who accidentally fell into the world. After breaking through the mysterious strangeness and sense of distance, he becomes so close, so real, and within reach.

Qin Yijie began to work hard and approach him cautiously.

In the library, there are occasional whispered conversations between him and Zhang Xiaoheng every day:

first day:

"Senior, I don't quite understand this question, can you teach me?"

"Okay, where?"

the next day:

"Senior, someone gave me a bottle of orange juice. I don't like to drink it. Can I give it to you?"

"Okay, thanks then."

The third day:

"Senior, can you make paper cranes?"

"Yes, come on, give me the paper, and I will teach you."

Nth day...

Qin Yijie also knew that he should not disturb Zhang Xiaoheng's study too much, so he would occasionally talk to him once or twice a day.After that, he would never open his mouth to talk to Zhang Xiaoheng on his own initiative.During that time, he lived as if he was soaking in a honeypot, foolishly, and his mind was full of the sweetness and happiness of first love.

Zhang Xiaoheng's kindness, kindness and gentleness made Qin Yijie even more fascinated by him.

These days are really comfortable.Qin Yijie began to pluck up his courage, carefully selected envelopes and letter papers of Zhang Xiaoheng's favorite color, and tried to write a love letter to him.In order not to affect Zhang Xiaoheng's study, after three days and three nights of deliberation, Qin Yijie planned to write his love and miss for him into a love letter and confess to him when Zhang Xiaoheng finished the college entrance examination and returned to school for the graduation farewell ceremony.

Time flies like a shuttle, and it will never return.

When Qin Yijie realized that Zhang Xiaoheng's college entrance examination was coming, he suddenly realized that he would never have the opportunity to spend such a peaceful and beautiful afternoon with Zhang Xiaoheng in the school library.

The third day after the college entrance examination was the farewell ceremony for Zhang Xiaoheng's high school seniors.This is a major feature of their high school.The purpose is to allow students and teachers to have a completely stress-free teacher-student relationship, and...to give graduates one last chance to reunite before leaving their alma mater for three years.From then on, they will go their separate ways and embark on their own new journeys.

There is also an unwritten custom, which is also full of the romanticism of the flower season and the rainy season-this day is the graduation confession day of M High School.

There is a large artificial plant viewing area behind the auxiliary teaching building of M High School.It is filled with the most common magnolia trees in the city.From June to June, patches of Magnolia magnolia are in full bloom, with broad, shaded leaves and a strong fragrance, while irises and cannas are planted around the flower beds.The iris is blue-purple in color, with a light and elegant aroma, and the canna is as bright as fire and graceful, echoing the pure white magnolia at a distance.Three different colors create a unique dreamy atmosphere of purity, romance and enthusiasm in this small world, and it soon became a holy place for confession in M ​​High School.

During the farewell ceremony, you can always see a pair of male and female students who meet alone every few steps, and even occasionally you can see friends who seem to have a particularly good relationship, such as men and women, talking secretly here.

The most wonderful thing here is that the magnolia tree forms a natural compartment between the trees, which cleverly opened up an independent and elegant space for the couples who confessed.This pattern is unexpectedly favored by the students.

At the last moment, even if there is a confession between the senior and the junior or between the senior and the junior, they will eventually face separation.Therefore, the school does not prevent this kind of behavior and rituals formed by tacit understanding.After all, everyone wants to write a beautiful stroke on the last page of youth, and achieve the memories that will never be forgotten when the boyhood ends.

Qin Yijie walked around half of the campus but did not see Zhang Xiaoheng.After thinking about it, he guessed that someone had already invited Zhang Xiaoheng away.After all, Zhang Xiaoheng is the No. [-] student among the graduates, and he has good looks and gentle temperament.There must be many people who have a crush on him.At least Qin Yijie met several faces in the library who regularly appeared around Zhang Xiaoheng every day.

Thinking of this, Qin Yijie couldn't help but start to sweat while holding the love letter, and he also felt more and more that there was a puff of breath running around in his chest, his heart beat faster, and he was inexplicably anxious.What if... Zhang Xiaoheng agrees to someone...

Qin Yijie walked towards the artificial plant forest and walked through it for a while.After a while, he actually found the familiar figure he had been looking for for a long time in the southeast corner of the botanical forest.

Qin Yijie slowly approached that person, and when he reached a distance of two or three meters, he stopped nervously.He saw Zhang Xiaoheng standing with his back to him, and the opposite of Zhang Xiaoheng was a boy.The situation of the two of them is self-evident, and one can tell at a glance that the boy is confessing his love to Zhang Xiaoheng.

This really surprised Qin Yijie. He always knew that Zhang Xiaoheng was very popular among girls, but he never thought that there were boys who loved Zhang Xiaoheng as much as him.

Qin Yijie couldn't help pricking up his ears, poking his head out from the hidden branches of magnolia from time to time.Ever since he saw a boy opposite Zhang Xiaoheng, his heart seemed to be about to jump out of his chest.When he sneaked a glance at the boy who was passing a love letter to Zhang Xiaoheng with his arms raised, he inexplicably assumed the role of the one who confessed his love.

"Senior, um... I know you have graduated. Congratulations, congratulations, you did so well in the exam!" The boy was probably quite nervous, his face was already flushed, his voice was unconsciously a little louder, and the words he said were casual. The wind was blowing into Qin Yijie's ears and he could hear it clearly.

The boy's nervousness seemed to be transmitted to Qin Yijie not far away.Qin Yijie's hand holding the letter unconsciously broke out more sweat, and he almost couldn't hold the love letter in his hand.

"Thank you. What grade are you in?" Zhang Xiaoheng's voice revealed a relaxed and peaceful smile, as gentle as ever.

"I, I'm in class two (three) of high school. My name is Wei Yanbin. I... I like you. Can you fall in love with me, senior?" The boy's voice was unconsciously louder, and it was obvious that he At that time, I was absolutely sincere and mustered up all the courage to confess to Zhang Xiaoheng.

Qin Yijie's heart was in his throat, he wished he could rush out and stop the boy from continuing to talk to Zhang Xiaoheng.But rationality still prevailed, and he also wanted to see what Zhang Xiaoheng thought about the relationship between men and women.

"Thank you. I am very grateful for your kindness. But, I don't like boys. So I'm sorry." Zhang Xiaoheng bowed slightly to the boy who confessed to him, and nodded to express his apology.The attitude is very sincere, and there is no attitude of looking down on the other party or being arrogant.But the refusal was also very straightforward, without giving any ambiguous answers, and never giving people any bad feeling of being underestimated or misunderstood.

Even so, the boy still had an obviously shocked expression.After pursing his lips lightly, he sighed, nodded to Zhang Xiaoheng in frustration and relief, then turned and left without saying a word.

In the warm wind of June, the fragrance of flowers came in bursts.Wrap the heart-beating moments of boys and girls in this dreamy and melancholy end of the flower season and rainy season.

In fact, Qin Yijie basically didn't notice much of the latter situation.When he heard Zhang Xiaoheng's words "I don't like boys", he was already beaten to pieces and lost his mind.

Qin Yijie couldn't help but smiled wryly.

Come to think of it, same-sex romances are rare.Most people still belong to the range of "normal people".The boy's confession finally awakened himself who was immersed in reverie.Before, I had spent so much thought and fantasies on how to write a love letter and how to put my love for Zhang Xiaoheng on paper, but I completely ignored the reality.Qin Yijie thought about it carefully, and thought that he and Zhang Xiaoheng had gotten very close in the past few months, only to realize that Zhang Xiaoheng hadn't even asked his name.For himself, the sweet throbbing period, for Zhang Xiaoheng, whom he has a crush on, is probably just a nodding acquaintance.

this is the truth.

Qin Yijie leaned against a tall magnolia tree in despair, watching Zhang Xiaoheng's back getting further and further away.He had no intention of chasing after him. His confused and ignorant first love was finally awakened by someone else's confession like a fool until today, four years later.

I have nothing, only a deep heart.

Stupid, stupid, sincere.

This confession ceremony, which has been brewing for four years and has finally come to fruition, has ended before it even started.

To be precise, there is no "beginning", so there is no "end".

Qin Yijie stood under the magnolia tree for a long time before slowly walking towards the exit of the plant forest.

After noon, there was no one in the flower-scented forest garden.

The wind in early summer passes through the forest, blowing the fragrance of flowers to nothing.It's like the figure of that person, once so close to me, but will definitely be blown by the wind of youth to an unknown future far away.

This confession, which he has always been enthusiastic and meticulously prepared, is deeply buried in Qin Yijie's heart with the unwillingness to tell and the despair of the known ending.

The author has something to say:

The husky with a strange brain circuit also had occasional normal times when he was a child, but he was relatively slow~【wiping face】

This chapter is actually a side story (*^ω^*)

The next update is Saturday~Thank you for reading ^3^