After Hell

At this time, Qin Yijie's face was ugly.This was the first time Zhang Xiaoheng saw Qin Yijie look like this.

decadent.Qin Yijie's face turned blue after not sleeping all night.

Also, that depression that seems to burn out all hope.Like a terminally ill patient who gave up his life, he could not hide his numbness and dazed depression in the face of death.

Qin Yijie's performance made Zhang Xiaoheng's heart tighten for no reason, and the hands around his waist were unconsciously retracted.

Qin Yijie was agitated by Zhang Xiaoheng's actions, like a frightened bird, his voice revealed the fear of being driven to a desperate situation: "Your fever...I, I just asked my personal doctor, and he said...It's probably psychological. Stress. No matter what percentage of my cause it was... it wasn't my intention."

Zhang Xiaoheng was surprised to hear his fragmented speech at the moment.Qin Yijie had never shown his timidity unreservedly in front of him before.That kind of timidity that is at a loss after doing something wrong, like a child who made a mistake.He couldn't help narrowing his eyes, focusing on Qin Yijie's face.

Only then did Zhang Xiaoheng realize belatedly that he had never looked at Qin Yijie's face properly before.They had always had a very abnormal relationship before, so Zhang Xiaoheng refused to understand Qin Yijie from the bottom of his heart.Although they were in the same university and could meet each other from time to time, Zhang Xiaoheng never cared what grade Qin Yijie was in.

Now, they were facing each other, standing in the bright hospital corridor in the morning, Zhang Xiaoheng realized that Qin Yijie standing in front of him looked quite young.

A gust of wind blew between each other, and the few strands of bangs on Qin Yijie's temples were lifted by the breeze and then fell down again, draped around the temples in a mess, attracting Zhang Xiaoheng's attention.The handsome man in front of him, oh no, it would be more appropriate to call him "handsome boy".Because the line of his mandible is still obviously green and immature.

He is smaller than himself!

Zhang Xiaoheng immediately realized this in his heart.Therefore, what he is facing now is a junior who is younger than himself.

"How old are you?" Zhang Xiaoheng pretended to be relaxed and raised his hand to pat Qin Yijie's shoulder.

"Freshman..." Qin Yijie was surprised that Zhang Xiaoheng asked himself this question so abruptly, but he still answered Zhang Xiaoheng.

"That... don't think too much about it. I just think..." Zhang Xiaoheng slowed down his speech and organized his words carefully.He has always known that Qin Yijie's temper is not very good, and his mood swings will be more obvious when he is stimulated.This can be seen from the fact that Qin Yijie was often agitated by his own words when the two of them were making out.

Now that Zhang Xiaoheng knows that Qin Yijie is younger than himself, he will unconsciously relax his tolerance for him in his heart.After all, who would care too much about younger students?Anyway, Zhang Xiaoheng wouldn't do it.So now Zhang Xiaoheng tried his best to choose words that would not irritate him: "Have we met before? Or have we known each other for a long time? I have a bad memory, don't mind."

The calmness deliberately released in Zhang Xiaoheng's tone soothed Qin Yijie's nervousness.

As if making up his mind, Qin Yijie took a deep breath. Although his lips were trembling at this moment, he still said what he wanted to say all the time: "I, I have known you since junior high school."

Zhang Xiaoheng's heart skipped a beat: Sure enough, we have known each other for a long time.He blinked at Qin Yijie, and asked temptingly, "Since I've known each other for a long time, did I...have I offended you somewhere before?"

Qin Yijie quickly shook his head: "No, nothing."

Zhang Xiaoheng sighed, and looked at Qin Yijie with sincere questioning eyes: "I can know why you were so angry when we first met in AfterHell?"

When Zhang Xiaoheng asked this question, Qin Yijie's forehead immediately began to sweat, and a dense layer of sweat quickly oozed from his forehead.Qin Yijie's face also became paler, his lips suddenly began to tremble obviously, and the hand on Zhang Xiaoheng's waist also trembled lightly.

Qin Yijie's extreme nervousness, which can be seen at a glance, also infected Zhang Xiaoheng's emotions.Before Zhang Xiaoheng knew it, his heart beat a little faster.

Qin Yijie tried very hard to calm down his emotions, his chest rose and fell violently, and he adjusted his breathing several times before he stopped the trembling all over his body.During this period, Zhang Xiaoheng did not urge him at all.Zhang Xiaoheng just waited like that, quietly waiting for Qin Yijie to overcome his psychological barriers, and tell him the words he wanted to tell him bit by bit into sentences, and tell them completely.

"I, I met you in the first day of junior high school. Then... I will never forget you. Later, you were admitted to a key high school with the first grade in the school. I found out which high school you were admitted to from the campus column, so... I also passed the exam. But you are two years older than me, it is really difficult to find a chance to talk to you. You are so outstanding, there are always people around you..." Speaking of this , Qin Yijie seemed to fall into memory, his eyes were a little blurred: "So I can only look at you from a distance, chasing your shadow."

Zhang Xiaoheng could feel that Qin Yijie was really trying to organize his words, trying to express what he thought clearly.It's a pity that he couldn't get to the point when he talked and said intermittently. He only explained how he followed his own footsteps to enter the same high school and the same university in the past few years, but for the situation of how the two met and himself He couldn't express his inner feelings smoothly.Qin Yijie's words did not answer Zhang Xiaoheng's previous question at all, but Zhang Xiaoheng had already summed up the answer he wanted from every sentence he said. Qin Yijie treated him like that when he first met him in AfterHell, probably because of jealousy.

"You didn't tell me this before, I don't know at all." Zhang Xiaoheng was very surprised.

Qin Yijie actually watched him silently for so many years?This surprised me so much!

There is a sense of oppression and humbleness that can only appear when you have been in secret love for a long time, faintly emerging from every word Qin Yijie said, this humble feeling makes Zhang Xiaoheng feel distressed inexplicably.

Qin Yijie was very upset at this moment, and wanted to express his emotions clearly to Zhang Xiaoheng, but he was also afraid of seeing the disgust towards him on Zhang Xiaoheng's face.Zhang Xiaoheng was deeply hurt by the ugly emotions he used to cover up with money transactions, which led to his emotional breakdown last night.So before this rare opportunity to confess his love, he timidly exited, and he didn't dare to say the most important words.

But Qin Yijie was very unwilling in his heart. He tried to defend himself: "I thought that if I possessed you and gave you money, you were mine. I hugged you so hard every time because... otherwise, I would not feel at ease. Ours The relationship is too fragile. But I didn't expect...to bring you...so much burden. If you hate seeing me, I can transfer to another school. From then on, I will never bother you again. "

After saying this, the corners of Qin Yijie's eyes suddenly turned red.Crystal clear tears immediately filled his narrow and deep eyes, and soon slid down his cheeks, one drop, two drops, three drops fell on the ground.

Zhang Xiaoheng was completely stunned for a moment when he looked at this young junior who was crying suddenly.

Qin Yijie used to be such an arrogant and domineering person in front of him, but at this moment he looked fragile and helpless like a lost child.

Qin Yijie lowered his eyes slightly not to look at Zhang Xiaoheng's expression at this time.He didn't want to look any further.He has completely fallen into the dark whirlpool in his heart: Yes!You hate me, so you always tease me with sarcasm.I feel it now.I am wrong, I am not good, I forced you.Who stipulated that if I like you, you must like me?Who stipulated that I was obsessed with you, so you must repay me?It turns out that it is so difficult to let the person you like also like you.No matter how hard you try, you are just struggling.From beginning to end, everything is my own self-righteousness.And it is the person I love the most who bears this self-righteous pain.My feelings have no value and only hurt the people I like.My feelings are rubbish and a completely useless burden to the innocent and unfortunate person I love.

Probably because it was too painful, Qin Yijie tried his best to suppress his crying, but the sound of sobbing still came out of his throat intermittently.Qin Yijie's heart ached beyond measure, and his entire consciousness fell into chaos.Zhang Xiaoheng's face in front of him was blurred by his own tears and turned into a shadow across the water curtain, like a distant dream that he could not touch for many years.He stretched out his hand unconsciously and gently stroked Zhang Xiaoheng's cheek.

Although he was talking to Zhang Xiaoheng, his eyes were empty, and the domineering look in his eyes had long since disappeared: "Goodbye, my first love." He should say what he thought in his heart, but at this moment his sad mood Unable to restrain himself, he said it unconsciously.

After saying this, Qin Yijie suddenly turned around and strode away.Zhang Xiaoheng instinctively felt that Qin Yijie was planning to completely cut off any contact with him at this time.The boy who was heartbroken and left with a broken heart, with a shaky figure due to excessive grief, with an irreversible determination, walked out of his field of vision step by step.

Zhang Xiaoheng's heart skipped a beat when he heard the word "first love".When Qin Yijie turned around, Zhang Xiaoheng even took a step.But when he realized that he had taken that step unconsciously, he was suddenly awakened by his behavior.

Why did I take this step?The relationship between him and Qin Yijie was not normal.He should be thankful that Qin Yijie took the initiative to leave him, so that their respective lives can get back on track.

What reason do you have to ask yourself to keep him?

The gust of wind blows head-on with the coolness of late spring.Outside the hospital hall, the sun is shining brightly, the birds are singing and the flowers are fragrant, and everything is so beautiful.But Zhang Xiaoheng always felt that something was missing.The bone-biting fire that was ignited by Qin Yijie and burned him for two months, took away the intense scorching heat in his pure emotional world, but also took away a certain kind of vivid color.

Standing in the hospital corridor bustling with people, Zhang Xiaoheng felt lost.The sadness in my heart is like the ripples on the surface of the lake being stirred up by the breeze, undulating circle after circle.Faint, makes people sad.

Spring is gone.

The author has something to say:

The deformed relationship is finally over~ If it can't be broken, it can't be established~ The old end, the new start~!

This article is updated every Wednesday or Thursday, and every Saturday.Twice a week ~ no entry into V.

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