sleep in your heart

Eight years ago, 19-year-old You Zeyi had a bad life before he transferred to No.11 High School.

You Zeyi hates seeing those so-called "family of origin affects children's life" remarks, because he knows that every word these people say is correct, and he is a living example.

As long as he can remember, the family has always been quarreling.At that time, his father was a small leader of a state-owned enterprise. In fact, he had no real power, but he was complacent all day long.

This man's biggest hobby is going out to drink, and he comes back drunk at least four days a week, and for the remaining three days, he either doesn't come back, or he quarrels with his mother after he comes back.

Of course, he was noisy when he was drunk.

When he was 13 years old, You Ze read an essay in which the person who wrote the essay said that he hated his father who was drunk and beat him so much. You Ze thought: So this kind of emotion is called "hate".

It was black, sticky, and wrapped him tightly so that he couldn't breathe. It turned out to be hate.

He resented his father, because it was this person who made this family like this, and he also resented his mother, because every time his father beat her, she continued to swallow her anger and stay.

You Zeyi asked her more than once: "Mom, why don't you get a divorce?"

With a helpless look on her face, she said to You Zeyi: "Mom is all for you!"

You Zeyi thinks this kind of thinking is really ridiculous. He never wanted such a family. If it was really for his own good, it would be best to get a divorce as soon as possible. Such quarrels and fights day after day are harmful to them. It was a painful ordeal for all three.

But his mother never listened to him.

Although You Zeyi resented his mother, he also loved her.

Because he always understood that even though he disagreed, all her forbearance and cowardice were really for him, but she used the wrong method.As soon as You Ze couldn't persuade her to leave that man, he could only hope that he would grow up quickly and protect her.

Unfortunately, reality taught him a lesson, telling him that, in fact, he couldn't protect anyone.

Others' 19-year-old has already gone to college, but You Zeyi's 19-year-old has entered the classroom of the third year of high school.

He had dropped out of school for nearly two years before, because the man who made him resentful made a fuss and put himself in prison, which was actually nothing, You Zeyi was happier when the man was not around.

However, not long after, You Zeyi's mother passed away, and he was not yet 18 at the time.

But suddenly one day someone called to say that You Zeyi's father had been taken away.

It was You Zeyi's mother who answered the phone at that time, You Zeyi didn't know what that person told his mother, he only knew that she passed out before hanging up the phone.

In short, it is a scam, and the amount is huge.

At that time, You Zeyi didn't know what it meant, nor did he know what kind of earth-shaking changes his upcoming life would bring. He just thought, that's great, this disgusting guy can finally withdraw from their lives temporarily up.

However, what You Zeyi thought was a turn of events turned out to be a more rugged mountain road.

His father was sentenced to 20 years in prison, and debt collectors came to his door.

All the savings in the family were used to repay the money, and the house was auctioned off, but the matter is not over yet.

You Zeyi's mother was suddenly diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. Perhaps it was due to a double blow. From discovery to death, it took only more than a month.

That year, You Zeyi was 17 years old, a senior in high school, and the college entrance examination was a few months away, but because of these things, his life was completely disrupted.

At his mother's funeral, You Ze had two words in his mind: tragedy.

In the past, everyone said that You Zeyi's name was not good. Once in the park, an old man who read his palm heard his name and said: "This is an unsafe combination! Misfortune, calamity, child, listen to me!" A word of advice, change your name and change your fate."

You Zeyi doesn't believe this, he thinks that a person's life is not determined by his name, and only himself can decide his fate.

Later, recalling what the old man said, You Zeyi thought it was too ironic.

He has no one at home and no money.

Difficulty invites disaster, lonely and lonely.

The only thing left is him alone and his mother's ashes.

He was a minor at the time, so he either went to a relative's house, or he had to go to an orphanage until he became an adult.

Several relatives discussed it, and decided that You Zeyi's aunt's family would take care of him, and the financial problems would be shared among the several families.

At that time, he felt that he was really the most redundant person in the world, like an old clock, ticking and letting the time pass by him, but it seemed out of place in other people's homes.

At that time, You Ze thought all day long to grow up quickly, and then leave, not to cause trouble to anyone anymore.

Although the former You Zeyi was not a cheerful person, at least he was always popular in school.

But from then on, he talked less and less. He knew that his aunt and the others were very kind to him, but he just couldn't respond to them. Even, when they were chatting with him and serving him food, he could only keep his head down. Nod, say "thank you" very quietly.

My aunt's house is very small, with two bedrooms and one living room, less than [-] square meters. The couple lived in one bedroom, and You Zeyi's cousin lived in one. There was no room left, so You Zeyi had to sleep in the living room.

During the day, the living room looks like a normal one, with two small sofas and a small table. At night, a spring bed will be placed in the vacant space, and that is where he sleeps.

Because the living room is small, after putting the bed, it almost blocked the way from the bedroom to the bathroom, and I was often startled in the middle of the night, because my uncle who got up to go to the bathroom at night would always bump into the bed accidentally.

For their family, You Zeyi felt very sorry, but he couldn't say to leave, because there was really nowhere to go.

At that time, You Zeyi dropped out of school.

One was that he couldn’t go to school because of an accident at home, and the other was that his aunt’s house was not in the same city as his. Although he had to go back to take the college entrance examination, he had to come here to go to school.

After everything settled down, the aunt asked You Zeyi what she meant when she planned to go back to school, and she could find a way to set up a better school for him.

You Zeyi didn't want to go to school at that time, and he would be an adult in seven months, and he wanted to go out to work.

He wants to stand on his own without bothering them anymore.

But the aunt said: "My child, I have to go to school. Although everyone always says that education is becoming less and less valuable now, but without education, it is difficult to move forward in society."

You Zeyi knew that what she said was reasonable, but he was so stubborn in his heart that he couldn't listen to anyone's advice.

So when he just turned 18, he really went out and looked for a job.

You Zeyi knew that his aunt was in a difficult situation at that time. She cried and chatted with her uncle in the middle of the night and said that she felt sorry for You Zeyi's dead mother. You Zeyi heard it all and cried secretly. I shed tears because I really miss my mother so much.

Working part-time is really difficult. You Zeyi didn't graduate from high school, so he can only work as a waiter in a restaurant.

At that time, I was working in a noodle shop opposite an office building. In the morning, this shop served breakfast, so You Zeyi had to go there early. Basically, I arrived at five o'clock every day and didn't go back until eleven or twelve o'clock in the evening.

Those days were quite tiring, even more tiring than the days when I stayed up late to study.

At the beginning, I was able to survive, but later, I fell ill.

You Zeyi's illness is another expense.

Before the salary was paid, the hospital was spent first.

He could only apologize to his aunt, and obediently resigned from that job.

When lying in the hospital, You Zeyi was thinking, why is this happening?

With so many people in the world, why is his life gray?

If there is really a God, he really wants to ask the other party, why does he have to treat himself like this?Isn't it saying that all living beings are equal?Is that just a ridiculous slogan?

He thought of his father, since that person went in, You Zeyi hadn't visited him once, and he didn't know if he knew the news of his mother's death now, but You Zeyi really wanted to know that he knew about it what will be the reaction.

You Zeyi still hates that person, because all the misfortunes of him and his mother seem to come from that person.

You Zeyi even thought that if his mother hadn't been with that person back then, he would rather not have come to this world than watch her suffer.

Now, she passed away, leaving You Zeyi here alone, as if the whole world has nothing to do with him.

He's been thinking like this all day long, and he's always thinking about having a headache.

The aunt's family started lobbying again to choose Yi to go back to school, and the three of them took turns to go to battle. Finally, the aunt said: "Son, I know what you are thinking, but making money is not in a hurry. If you are in a hurry now, you can only earn money for the rest of your life." That little money, you wait a little longer, after graduating from college, find a good job, and then slowly pay me back, do you think it will work?"

You Ze made a guess, and the aunt saw his accounting book.

Every penny of their money he spent was clearly remembered, and he didn't want to owe it to anyone.

Although they are relatives, they are not obliged to pour anything into him, life is not so easy, and with him, You Zeyi feels that he is a burden.

He said, "Auntie, let me think about it again."

Later, after he was discharged from the hospital, he went to the place where the ashes were stored in the crematorium and stared at his mother's photo for a whole day, and his mind finally turned from chaos to clarity.

Because of You Zeyi's own reasons, he missed the start of the third year of high school. The school that his aunt gave him was a school with a good teaching level. You Zeyi couldn't compare with the students in this school at all. If you temporarily join the class at this time, you may not be able to keep up with the progress, and you may simply wait until the next year to go.

So wait, You Zeyi is 19 years old.

No.11 high school, senior three (13) class.

On the first day of school, You Zeyi walked in with the head teacher, seeing the noisy classroom become quiet, and seeing so many eyes looking at him, he felt flustered.

In the days when he didn't go to school, if you don't count the less than a month when he went out to work, except for his aunt and his family of three, You Zeyi hardly had any contact with others.

He read books and textbooks at his aunt's house, saying he was self-study, but he never took it into his head.

As long as he sits down, it is what happened in the past year or so.

Standing in the classroom again, everything was different from before. He was panicked, a little scared, and extremely disturbed, which made him even want to run away.

But he can't run, he can no longer be that ridiculous deserter.

The teacher said, "Introduce yourself."

You Ze nodded his head, his palms clutching the strap of his schoolbag were all sweaty.

"My name is You Zeyi." He couldn't even hear what he said.

Someone from the bottom smiled and asked, "Ah? What? I can't hear you clearly!"

You Zeyi frowned, raised his voice, and said word by word: "I, call, You, Choose, one. You who travel, choose you, the only one."

You Zeyi felt that his face was either pale or flushed, in short, he looked very uncomfortable.

The teacher said: "Zhou Tong! Don't be out of shape! I'm tired of calling your name on the first day of school!"

After the teacher said this, the whole class burst into laughter, and the one named Zhou Tong laughed the most, as if the teacher was not criticizing him, but praising him.

"You Zeyi came to us to borrow and study, and he will go back during the college entrance examination. The next year is very critical. Everyone helps each other and concentrates on studying." After talking to them, the head teacher said to You Zeyi: "Now there is only the last one The table is empty, you can sit there for now, don't worry, we will rotate the seats every week, everyone can sit at the front."

You Zeyi likes the class teacher very much. She looks like she is not yet 30 years old, she is not very beautiful, but she has a nice voice and soft words, like a big sister.

You Ze nodded, walked around behind her, and walked to the last table.

From the podium to the seat, You Ze counted and walked a total of 17 steps.

He doesn't look sideways, but he also knows that others are looking at him, and that feeling is not very comfortable.

He is the only one sitting at the table for two, and You Zeyi thinks it's good.

In this corner, the sun shines in, and the sun at the end of July is still a little dazzling.

Just when he was hesitating whether to stand up and close the curtain a little, a person stood at the door of the class.

The man was wearing a school uniform and carrying a black backpack. He was tall and his hair was dyed yellow.

He knocked on the door and said, "Teacher, I'm sorry, I'm late."