What about the straight guy?

"Hmm..." It hurts, it hurts so much, the whole body seems to be lifted one by one and the joints are broken one by one, there is nothing else but pain.

Consciousness gradually came back, Le Lianzhou wanted to move his fingers, but it only brought a burst of tearing pain that involved his scalp and went straight to his heart and lungs.what happened?Le Lianzhou vaguely remembered that today he was supposed to be going on a blind date.

Yes, he went on a blind date!

Le Lianzhou just celebrated his 24th birthday this spring, and has already passed the second year of moving bricks in a technology company. He is living a stable life in a metropolitan city where the salaryman is more than the top and the bottom is more than the bottom. .However, Le Lianzhou regrets such a small day.

Because he has lived for 24 years, he has never even kissed a girl on the mouth. Only when he was in kindergarten, he mustered up the courage to hold a little hand once, only to find out that the "cute girl" of his first love was a fake made by Xiong's parents!As for after graduating from university and joining the army of code farmers, even women are rarely encountered, and everything seems to exist only on the few T hard drives of his own.

Of course, it wasn't Le Lianzhou's own problem.In terms of background, being born in a relatively well-to-do family is definitely not poor; in terms of inner life, a graduate from a prestigious university in a first-tier city, a job in a large company, and an absolute potential stock; Everywhere is a jade tree facing the wind, suave and suave, and lying down, it is definitely an object to look up to.

But the problem also lies in the cool and handsome appearance of this "Shen Yu Luo Yan Guan Yue Sha Hua".It's not that Le Lianzhou hasn't dated girls before, and even his uneasy flirtatiousness made him chase after bees and butterflies since kindergarten, but the end result often ended tragically before it even started.

Because other girls thought he was too good-looking!

After working all day facing the code, Le Lianzhou felt that if he didn't fully communicate with the living woman, he would lose some indescribable functions.So I finally couldn't bear the loneliness in my heart and the enthusiasm of my family, so I greeted the team leader early this day and left early.

For this reason, I made a special trip home, changed into a shirt and trousers that are specially used to meet people, and made a sloppy hairstyle in front of the mirror. Before going out, I went back and found it from the drawer. It has been useless for several years. After finishing the masculine fragrance, carefully spray it on several key parts of the body.

He had seen the photo of the girl he was going to meet this time, and he was very close to his eyes. He was delighted to think of this Le Lianzhou, and he was full of reverie and anticipation for this dinner.

When we arrived at the appointed western restaurant, the girl had already arrived.Unexpectedly, I am more beautiful than the photo. The moment I saw the other party's face, Le Lianzhou felt that the surroundings suddenly bloomed into a sea of ​​pink flowers, and the fairy music played in unison. The little angel he had been waiting for for 24 years was standing there. In the depths of the sea, it turns out that this is called heartbeat...

The result of his heartbeat was that Le Lianzhou couldn't even speak with a gorgeous smile that dazzled people's eyes. He was so excited, why not!

I don't know if it's because he looks so handsome. Anyway, the girl opposite seems to have been triggered by some kind of mechanism. The originally beautiful face gradually distorted, and her whole body seemed to be shaking, especially when she saw Le Lianzhou facing him. When she grinned and bared her white teeth, she grabbed the knife that was on the table and stabbed at Le Lianzhou without saying a word.

The hymn of love circulating in Le Lianzhou's ears stopped abruptly, and he stared in disbelief at the knife stuck in his chest, and at the sticky scarlet smudged on the white shirt.At that moment, he only felt bitingly cold, but in the next second, the incision began to become extremely hot, and it seemed to be a little painful. His eyes became blurred, and the fragments of 24 years of life came from the back of his head like a revolving lantern.

Before completely losing consciousness, Le Lianzhou thought of the faint premonition he had when he was a child, heh, he is indeed a bachelor in this life, wife and children, see you in the next life...

Everything seemed to happen just now, Le Lianzhou couldn't figure it out, he was stabbed in the heart, why is his whole body hurting now?Obviously he was stabbed in the heart, how can he still live like this?

Moreover, why can a small table knife be easily stabbed in by a woman who has no strength to restrain a chicken?This unscientific!

Moreover, such a beautiful person, why is it so perverted to turn his face?If you disagree, you will be stabbed!Sure enough, a blind date is risky, but a blind date with such a good-looking woman is life-threatening!

"Huh..." Taking a deep breath and letting it out long, Le Lianzhou finally put aside the random thoughts in his head for the time being, the point is to make clear what the situation is now.Could it be that the woman not only stabbed him, but then beat him with a table in public?

Any movement of the body hurts, and he can't move, Le Lianzhou tried to open his eyelids, blinking, the light is very dim, did you turn on the lights at night?

Unable to move his head, Le Lianzhou finally succeeded in focusing after several attempts. Due to the state of the dead body at the moment, he could only see the light-colored bed curtain above his head.Blink again, no, when did the hospitals in the imperial capital have mosquito nets?

Strenuously turning the eyeballs to maximize the lighting range, it doesn't look like a mosquito net, let alone a hospital bed.Above the head hangs a tent in a square shape, and the wooden carved bed frame can be seen on the edge, well, the bed is a bit small.

After looking at it for a while, I felt that my eyes were sore and swollen. Le Lianzhou simply closed his eyes, letting his consciousness begin to haze again.

I don't know how long it took, the sound of rustling sounded in the ear, and the retina felt the faint light through the eyelids.Someone approached him, hesitating for a moment, Le Lianzhou chose to continue playing dead.

The person who came seemed to have opened his clothes. Could it be that he was really in a hospital? This feeling of opening his clothes was quite like a hospital gown with an open front and ties.Then there was a cool feeling on the chest, waist and abdomen gradually spreading out, it should be medicine, oh, this injury is really blooming everywhere, after applying it on the body, arms, thighs, knees and ankles, but the face is fine.

fortunately!Although this face is too good-looking, which directly caused him to be single so far, maybe this knife incident is also because of this.But Le Lianzhou still didn't want to be disfigured because of that old saying, the body, hair and skin are affected by the parents.But that woman beat herself up like this, why didn't she just cut her face?

Just when Le Lianzhou was about to start wandering in the sky again, the people in the room spoke, and it turned out that there was more than one person.

"It's been a few days, why don't you wake up!" It was a middle-aged female voice with a bit of meanness, and her tone was mixed with ambivalence of disgust and worry.Le Lianzhou thought to himself, is this a hospital nurse or the attending doctor, so domineering?

"Mom, the doctor just saw it before, and said it's improving..." This is the person standing by the bed applying medicine to himself, with a clear and melodious female voice, and the voice sounds like a young and beautiful girl, but this is just right. It's extremely quiet, with vibrato, how scary it must be.

She just called a middle-aged woman mother?Le Lianzhou's heart skipped a beat. The word "Mom" definitely didn't mean mother. Why did it sound so like a brothel girl calling a bustard in TV dramas!

And what did she say, did a doctor come to see it?Doctor... Le Lianzhou felt a bad premonition rising from the bottom of his heart, no, press it quickly, his premonition is like a crow's mouth.

The middle-aged woman seemed to be impatient with the pungent smell of the plaster. Le Lianzhou could feel two pungent gazes shooting at him with his eyes closed. If you mess up my business, you will never have to use it again." Turning to the little girl again, "As for you, it's up to you to choose who to open the pot for when the time comes!"

Listening to the sound of footsteps going away, if Le Lianzhou could move, he would definitely slap himself to death, damn crow's mouth!

This vicious middle-aged woman is definitely a prostitute|bustard who forced her to become a prostitute. This will never appear in the modern society of Dahua, where I pursue the core values ​​of prosperity, democracy, civilization, harmony and socialism!

Le Lianzhou suddenly felt a little wronged, so is he really dead? He was stabbed in the heart by a beautiful woman with a table knife.Although he doesn't like to watch it, he has heard of time-travel dramas that are popular on TV and on the Internet.Which God of Destiny has he been so "favored" by, and traveled back to ancient times?

Just to put it bluntly, with a stab in the heart like that, how could he be saved...

But, let me live again, can you fucking god of destiny choose a better shell!An inexperienced person like Lao Tzu can't bear such a fright! Hey!This he|damn is a brothel!What is a brothel? It's a brothel!You have to sell your body in a brothel!

If Le Lianzhou could move, he would be swinging like a carp about to die now, and the stormy waves roaring in his heart at this moment almost killed him directly.I don't know how long it took, but after greeting the 180 generations of ancestors of the Tianshen Buddha family, Le Lianzhou finally "quiet".

Just based on how he is standing here now, it is impossible to kill himself.Just try to tell yourself to be more positive, be more optimistic, and talk about getting better first.The key is to check whether your current shell is male or female after you can move.

Le Lianzhou has already made up his mind, if the time comes and finds that the meat below is missing, then there is no need to say anything, buddy just hit the wall; if he is lucky to find that he is still a handle in this life, Then you have to cheer up and work hard to get rid of this damn fate!

Ahem, although the current situation seems to be more likely to be tragic.Le Lianzhou thought sadly, he likes beautiful women, and in his dreams he wants to sleep with his arms around her every day, but he absolutely does not want to become a woman himself.

The only wish now is that the business scope of this brothel is wide enough, not only to grasp it with both hands, but also to be hard with both hands, and not to be limited to a single business and not to make progress.

The author has something to say: ——Celebrate Kaiwen Small Theater and spread flowers——

Pure Love Kindergarten

When Xiao Lianzhou was four years old, he fell in love with a cute girl with a round face and big eyes.

This day, the cute girl was squatting and digging beside the seesaw with her back to everyone,

Those two fluffy little braids made people itch, and finally mustered up the courage to go up to them,

Bending down, reaching out, ah, I finally caught it!

"Cute girl" froze...

Xiao Lianzhou: That, that~ I like you!

"Cute Girl": ...

Why didn't you respond?

Xiao Lianzhou: I like you so much!

"Cute Girl" stood up abruptly, her round face was flushed when she turned around, she gave Xiao Lianzhou a hard look, and walked away with heavy steps.

Xiao Lianzhou looked down at the little braid hanging in his hand: ...

The earth-shattering laughter erupted from the surrounding friends, which has been echoing in Xiao Lianzhou's ears for a long time ever since!

Don’t miss the little angels passing by, they feel a little bit interesting and give a squeak,

Every comment and every favorite will produce more and more text!