A Qi

Desire and love should be two completely different things. It is tragic to have desire without love, and it is not so praiseworthy to have love without desire.Ah Qi and I started with the former, and when I gradually entered this situation, I realized that desire and love crossed over in a single thought, and this desire-desire also became love.

When I first met my wife, he always looked timid, afraid that you would be afraid of him, afraid of left and right.When I pinned him down the first time, he gave in after only a few struggles.What I lost from Liang Rufeng, I found it from him again, so much, I called him more and more times.

As time passed, I became more and more charming, and I gradually lost my love. I couldn't tell whether it was because of my poor self-esteem or my growing desire.I began to covet this person's body, I like to see his obedient and obedient side, and his expression of restraint when lust comes.

At that time, I was a young man who was jealous and melancholy, I didn't like Ah Qi staring at other men, Zhao Minglang couldn't do it, and neither could Ah Sheng.So I gave Ah Sheng 100 taels and sent him away, leaving him alone.

When I have nothing to do, it happens that when I am in a good mood, I will teach Ah Qi to practice calligraphy, but he is too stupid, and he can only write my name and his name after learning.I am really happy and helpless.Xi he will always only write about our love, but he is helpless, my wife is really a dumb head.

During the Spring Festival in Pinghua 12, Ah Qi said several times that he wanted to watch the New Year with me. I listened to it in my heart, but there was no expression on my face.

Later Zhao Minglang and Mu Yanyan came over, they invited me to go to Zhuangzi to celebrate the festival together, let's have a good time, I have no reason to refuse.

When Ah Qi knew about this, he stood outside the house and told me that he also had a family, and he was going to go home... I was in a bad mood at the time, and I slammed my hand against the wall Face, trying to calm down this inexplicable irritability.Around that time, my wife had already entered my heart unknowingly, but I didn't know it at the time.

Later, I still rushed back from Mu Xiao Villa, and that night was another night of torment, with the sound of firecrackers outside, and the groaning of Ah Qi in the room.

I didn't treat Ah Qi well, and occasionally my self-esteem in my bones would be messed up. It reminded me that I shouldn't be like this, and I shouldn't be too entangled with a person of low status.Then, I would say a lot of nasty things to my wife, and seeing his aggrieved expression with low eyebrows and no words, I knew I had succeeded, and my self-esteem shone again, but I didn't have the expected Happy relief, why is this?At that time, I didn't quite understand this complicated state of mind.

Ah Qi brought back a dog from Taoran Temple. In order to completely stop his thoughts, I forced him to give the dog away.

When the dog is gone, there will be no such thing as seeing things and thinking about people, but I underestimated Ah Qi’s influence on me. Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night, I still think of his sense of solidity under me. In the end, I couldn't hold it back, and I called Ah Qi to me again.Ten taels a night, he won't be able to earn this money for a year, I remind myself all the time, this is a deal, and I am not in love with this turtle slave.In this way, I can feel at ease.I had a reason to touch his body.

My wife likes dogs, but we have never raised a dog in the days since then. This is my selfishness. I am afraid that he will remember this again and complain to me in his heart.

It was not bad to live like this, until one day, Ah Qi broke my jade pendant, and I beat him, and then everything gradually got out of control.

He left, and left Guangling City alone.I had no way of understanding my wife's mood at that time, and I never asked him later, I guessed that he must be very cold.

It's like a play, thousands of miles to find a wife, and finally both return home.I still got him back.He and I are tired of being in my wing room day and night, we are in love in the boudoir, and we are listening to the words on the pillow.My wife likes to murmur and whisper in my ear, but I am obsessed with it. Sometimes, I wish I could drop everything and take him away. I want to pet him in the palm of my hand, and then listen to him cry under me. The sound of begging for mercy.

But my parents will never agree, you see, you can do whatever you want in life, there is too much helplessness.

Zhao Minglang discussed with me a plan - to assassinate Liang Huaishi, I suffered from no candidate, he told me not to worry, he has someone he likes.I asked who he was and he didn't tell me.

The moment the news spread, I realized that it was my wife who killed my enemy for me. I missed him very much and wanted to see him, but he was in prison, but I couldn't see him.

I begged Shen Peilin to save my wife, and he agreed.Zhao Minglang said to me before going, let me and Ah Qi let each other go.I thought, after he followed me, he didn't enjoy a day of blessings, but suffered injuries all over his body, okay, then let it go.However, when I let go of him, I suddenly seemed to be a lonely soul in the world, and I couldn't find where to focus.

Later, I still broke my promise, I don't want to let Ah Qi go, I want to be entangled with him for the rest of my life, even if both of us are dripping with blood.Zhao Minglang said Ah Qi was in Qingping Town, so I went there, there was resentment and hatred, my wife cried, I knew he would not let me go.Confused, the two of us have untied the previous knot.I swear in my heart that I will come back to him after revenge.

Liang Rufeng died, the Liang Mansion was ruined, and the Changchun Courtyard became a dangerous place overnight. Those who fled and those who were arrested, I looked up at the sky and let out a long breath. After so much humiliation, I finally got through it.I couldn't tell what it was like, and felt that the big rock on my body was gone, but I didn't have the ecstasy I imagined.

I rushed to Qingping Town without stopping, and Ah Qi and I were finally reunited.We spent two months in the pastoral life in Qingping. The days were pleasant and comfortable, enjoying the wind and growing vegetables.

Originally, all the stories would stop here, and the next thing is the tenderness between you and me.But I made the most unforgivable mistake of my life.Sometimes I naively think, if I hadn’t had that bastard idea at that time, my wife wouldn’t have left me and hid in Siping far away.But where is there any regret medicine to buy in life?

I became an official and wanted to reach the sky in one step, so I decided to marry the daughter of a high official mansion, and I sent my wife to the outskirts of the city.I knew he was sad at the time, but I still made up my mind. I even started to numb myself. I said to myself, Ah Qi will not leave, he will always wait for you obediently.He was so ill at that time, but I left him alone so that I could marry another woman.It's a heinous crime, probably until I die, I can't forgive myself from the bottom of my heart.

I remembered that it was Qiu Yu, and there was thunder, and Zhao Minglang came to tell me that Ah Qi had gone.I wove a dream for myself on the spot, and I asked Shen, where did Ah Qi go?But Shen Peilin really poked my sore spot again, he said, Ah Qi is dead.

There was a bang, and there was a fishy sweetness in my throat. I vomited it out, and I became a homeless person again.

When I thought my life could start over, my life was over.

Ah Qi is really ruthless.

I trapped myself in the house, and for ten days, I spent all my time hating him, but in the end I couldn't help it, I still miss him.I smashed the glazed porcelain vase on the desk. This porcelain was originally used for arranging flowers, but when Ah Qi was alive, it was used for feather dusters.He said, this is life.

I took the broken porcelain and scratched it on my wrist. When I made the first stroke, I stopped my hand. He didn't want me anymore. Why should I go to him.For a moment, I thought about it.

I burned all his things and burned them clean, but when the flames engulfed everything, I was afraid, I was afraid that this fool would really become a lonely ghost in Huangquan, and he would not be able to find his way home.I jumped on it and snatched a grasshopper he'd stabbed from the fire.

You see, how bad this man is.He is dead, and he still wants to plot against me.Throw me in the cold mansion and guard the way for him.

After many years, what happened back then gradually passed away, and no one in the mansion dared to mention him anymore.Only I know how sad I am when I dream back every midnight, and I will spend the night with a dead person in my dream.

It will be a few years later for Xiao Sun and the others.I went to Liyuan to watch an opera, and happened to see him singing on stage.At that moment, the distance between the underworld and the human world seemed as short as that on and off the stage.Yes, my lady is back.

I brought him into the mansion, and later, I brought Xiao Chen and Xiao Xu in.

I gave Xiaosun all the love I owed Ah Qi, because he is the most like my wife.I lied to myself that it was Ah Qi's reincarnated body. Thinking of it this way, I can spend my whole life in a daze, anyway, my life is not long.

If Chunrui hadn't come to the mansion that day, I'm afraid I would have been kept in the dark for the rest of my life.It turned out that my wife was not dead.

What was my mood at that time?I was careful about every breath I took, fearing that I would spoil this good dream, I asked Chunrui in a low voice, what did you just say, say it again.

I went to Siping overnight, and I was dressed in white. Ah Qi often said that I looked better in white.

When I arrived at the door, I carefully packed my clothes and dusted off the dust along the way.In this way, I will always be the handsome husband in Ah Qi's eyes.I knocked on the door lightly, three times, and within a short period of time, I brewed up what I wanted to say again.

The moment my wife opened the door, I couldn't say anything, and he was also stunned.He turned his head and spoke to Qiu Guan in the room, saying that I'm here.

I clearly saw the child in Qiu Guan's arms. If I were a woman, I think my eyes must have been extremely sad.

I became wildly jealous of the woman in the house and the baby in her arms.

Ah Qi sent me to an inn, and I went to him the next day, but he still wanted to drive me away.Later, in the inn, I crushed him hard.That scene was extremely painful for him and me.But I can't help it, I can only feel a little bit at ease when I enter him.

In the end, Ah Qi returned to Guangling with me.After spending several months in Anfu, I resigned from office and went on a tour with him.

The two of us finally returned to Qingping Town, the place with the original beauty.

I became a teacher, and my wife started her old job.

Even now that Ah Qi is by my side, I often have that nightmare. Ah Qi was standing on the bedside with a broken bone. I cried and said to him, "My lady, I was wrong." A knife pierced my chest fiercely, and it turned red in an instant, and I woke up from my dream.

Every time I wake up, I have to hug Ah Qi tightly, and he murmurs a few times like a dream, I will press against his right ear, and ask him over and over again, "Lady, have you forgive me?" Responding, I stubbornly repeated the move.

I think this is what I deserve in my life.

I didn't believe in Buddhism at first, but since Ah Qi came back to me, I started to believe in it.Every time I meet a statue of a god, big or small, I have to bow down devoutly——

If there is reincarnation after death, my Buddha is merciful and blesses my wife and I to be husband and wife forever.