Forget about the past

He really thought so at the time, the young Lian was always clumsy and tried his best, wishing to give everything he had.He admits that he doesn't know how to like to make the person he likes feel comfortable.But he never thought that a person he liked so much would stab him deeply in the chest.

That wound was bleeding for the rest of his long life, did it hurt, sometimes he would ask himself, fortunately, it really wasn’t painful, but this cut almost made him lose his belief in love.This was the first person he couldn't help falling in love with, and he was also the one who cut off his thoughts with his own hands.

When anyone tried to get close to him, he trembled with fear from the occasional wound.He pushed everyone away, refused to be hurt, also refused to be warm, refused to call the curtain, and also refused to start.

Until now, when he dreams back in the middle of the night, he still wakes up because of recalling that sentence, his whole body is soaked in cold sweat, he gasps in the dark night, he uses all his strength to open his eyes wide, and then says to himself viciously, okay, You coward, forget about that man.

It would be great if memories could be burned, if painful memories could be deleted frame by frame.If he hadn't fallen in love with that person back then, if he hadn't confessed recklessly back then, if he hadn't heard those remarks back then, it would be great.

But... the most powerless word in this world is "if".

It's useless, the memory of that day, even after so many years, can still be recalled clearly.

He still remembers, he can't forget at all, that memory became more clear during the rumination, Xu Chen's fingers trembled involuntarily, he smiled bitterly and covered his eyes with his hands, it was too useless, actually still trembling...

At that time, the sky was a rare clear blue, like the beautiful eyes of a mixed-race doll, clear and pure.He still remembered that the sweet-scented osmanthus bloomed very well in September of that year, especially after the rain, the fragrance was faintly present, and the fragrance was so seductive that it was not intoxicating.

At that time, he and Zuo Meng were talking and laughing and walking side by side. He couldn't remember the topics they talked about at that time, but he still remembered the girl's shoulders trembling with her smile at that time.He remembered that he was also laughing. Since the confession, the stone hanging in his heart fell to the ground, and he was always in a happy mood.

Walking to the corner of the stairwell, he saw Wen Jiu'an, standing beside him was a tall girl who was holding his arm affectionately.That's Wen Jiu'an's cousin, she has a good relationship with him, she seems to be called Zhang Xiaomo.

Zhang Xiaomo has a height that stands out from the rest of the girls, with fair skin and dark eyes. When she smiles, her eyes bend, she is so cute that it makes people's hearts flutter.

Speaking of which, Xu Chen had met that girl a few times.She likes to stare at him with round eyes and smile, and call his name vaguely, and he also smiles back, nodding as a response, can he be regarded as a half acquaintance?

Xu Chen strode even wider, just about to open his mouth to stop the two of them.Suddenly, Zhang Xiaomo's soft voice hit the eardrums, Xu Chen stopped involuntarily, concentrated and held his breath, his fingers grabbed the cold railing, he didn't even hear the girl beside him asking "what's the matter".

Just because he put all his attention there, he pricked up his ears just to hear an answer.

"Brother, I heard that a boy confessed to you, right?"

Zhang Xiao looked up, with a curious and secret smile on his face.

"Ah," Wen Jiu'an responded unhurriedly. The people around him and behind him were all waiting for his statement, but he didn't seem to notice it.

Xu Chen's eyes were wide open, and he couldn't see other people. At this moment, he only had that figure in his eyes and mind, and his breathing was as shallow as possible, but he still felt that the voice would make him unable to hear the person's answer clearly. .

"I think," Wen Jiu'an had a gentle and dignified smile on his face, his voice seemed to be specially processed, a little distorted, and it came from afar, "It's really disgusting."

There was no special ups and downs in the tone of voice, as if he was just talking about an insignificant matter, as if he was just saying "I ate flies today, it's disgusting".

But is it really just like that?

Holding the railing tightly with his hands, the peeling lacquer stuck into his nails stiffly. Xu Chen didn't even frown, but his eyes wandered somewhere, and there were complex emotions that could not be suppressed in his eyes.

Anger, humiliation, resentment...and pain.

nausea?nausea!Yes, he himself said that he doesn't need to respond to a relationship he sincerely admired, but should he be trampled like this?What is his intention in being him?

He just likes a person, so he will be humble.Didn't he say thank you that day, but what is he saying now?

He would rather his will rot in an unknown corner than be cut open under the so-called light and let others point out!

But... this anger was quickly overshadowed by sadness, and it was even more intense.A person he likes so much actually uses such unbearable and hurtful words to describe his heart.

He just likes him purely, which is cleaner than most of the feelings. He doesn't have any dirty thoughts in his heart. He even feels that holding hands and hugging that person will tarnish the feelings in his heart.

Really...disgusting?

A sharp and strange noise erupted from his ears, his brain was in chaos, he stared blankly at Zuo Meng's opening and closing mouth, he really couldn't hear a single sound.

He stumbled back, he didn't know where he should go, he only had one thought, don't stay here, he will go crazy, he will collapse!

He seemed to be deaf in both ears when he heard that sentence, and it seemed that he fell into a cellar of cold, and his hands and feet felt numb in such weather.

If there is always a moment in a person's life, you wish you could die at that moment.

For him, there was no question about this moment.At the moment when his dignity was crushed, when the Chen Chi built in his heart collapsed, he wished to die, and never had to face the hurtful and unbearable reality, and he even wished to be killed by the karmic fire in the fairy tale at that moment. Burn out!

If you feel that this is just the pain of groaning without illness, it is only because you have never loved someone as deeply as him, and you have never been stabbed by wishful thinking.

If you fall in love with someone like him, you will understand that the suffering you have suffered, Ling Chi, is all caused by yourself. In the final analysis, love is not a matter of yourself alone.

That person's inadvertent words may turn into a sharp knife that pierces the heart. It hurts, but there is no blood.When you fall in love with someone, you have already handed him the knife that can hurt you the most.

Perhaps, not only hate can change people beyond recognition, but also love.

It's like waking up from a long dream, still half awake, feeling that everything seems to be true and not false, the dream is still vaguely remembered, mixed with the real past, a little unclear.

It was already dawn, and Xu Chen was still in a daze with his eyes open. When he just woke up, he always fell into a state of chaos.

He forgot to close the curtains last night. At this time, the strong light shone into the room, the fine dust under the sun, and the sun fell into his eyes.In order to avoid the light, he simply hugged the quilt and moved inside, and fell asleep in a daze after a while.

Xu Chen struggled to get up from the bed until he was suffocated by a burst of urine.He brushed his teeth in front of the mirror, and there was foam in his mouth, and there was a new blue stubble on his chin.Looking at himself in the mirror, he always felt a little strange.

The facial features have become more profound, and the eyes are still black and white, which is hard to find in adults. It is clear and clean, and the face that is too delicate looks childish. Such a face has unmatched beard, which is very funny. Like a kid with a fake mustache on.

Amidst the buzzing sound of the razor, he stared at a certain point in the mirror, his eyes gradually drifted away, and his thoughts drifted away.

Recalling the third year of high school, he was really thrilled. After hearing what that person said, he was always in a daze, always feeling that something had really rotted away.

I remember that his mother was very worried about his state, and she probably guessed something, but she didn't dare to ask him to confirm it, and always looked hesitant to speak.

Later, when the results of the college entrance examination came out, everyone in the family was very happy, and he was shocked by his extraordinary performance.When filling out the application, he stubbornly chose a city far away from that person. He knew that that person preferred the north, so he went to the south.Even if he wanted to give up his favorite university, he would run far away.

No one is so stupid as to fall into the same pit twice.

He is already a sophomore now, and two years have passed since that year. In these not too long two years, he needs to grow up quickly, and he also needs to forget the trauma caused by that person.

Xu Chen wiped off the water stains on his face with a towel, looked at his much refreshed face in the mirror, moved the corner of his mouth lightly, and laughed.

He sighed silently in his heart, in order to completely forget about that person, it is time to meet some new people.

After graduation, he lost touch with most of his classmates.Although he was sunny and cheerful in the past, he didn't have many close friends. Most of them were just nodding acquaintances, and after graduation, they all wandered all over the world, and even meeting them became difficult.

In the past two years, he has been in a daze and has no energy to make friends. There is only one person by his side who is still with him. It can be seen that she is also quite worried about him, because she knows it in her heart, but she doesn't force anything. Follow his heart.

The mobile phone was noisy, Xu Chen turned his head to take a look, and saw the caller ID on the screen, he wiped off the water on his hands, reached out and pressed the answer, smiled very sternly, and said: " Zuo Meng, what are you doing, miss me?"

"Yes, yes, I miss you so much," Zuo Meng joked angrily, paused, changed her tone, and scolded very viciously: "I want to ask you more than this." Where have you been dead for a few days, you don’t go to class, you’re not in the dormitory, and you can’t get through the phone! I said you, a lonely person, are you going to scare anyone to death, are you itchy, huh?”

"Yes, it's all my fault, my sister, I was wrong," Xu Chen was so frightened by her roar that he almost dropped his phone, kept holding it away, and replied in a loud voice: "I'm not Go out and relax."

"Are you so distracted?" There was another roar, and Xu Chen continued to explain with a playful smile, "The phone just ran out of battery, and I saw your call just after the phone was charged. I'm not afraid that you will pick it up Well, at my age, can I still die outside?"

"Forget it, I should know that you have your own sense of proportion, as long as you're fine." Zuo Meng finally calmed down, her tone softened, and she told her like an old woman: "You can go out for a while, but don't look for those people." Messy people, do you hear me?"

Xu Chen laughed helplessly, and couldn't help arguing for his innocence: "I didn't, I'm still a pure virgin.

Zuo Meng was amused by his tone, Xu Chen suddenly remembered something, and said briskly: "By the way, I'm going back to school today. Are there any social activities recently? I want to go and see."

"Huh?" Zuo Meng was taken aback, and then laughed after being puzzled, "Didn't you claim that you never go to that kind of occasion? What happened recently?"

"Empty, emptiness," Xu Chen looked up at the sky, making a melancholy expression, he smiled, and became serious, "The past must end, and the nightmare should also end."

"Yes, it's rare that you finally see it. Meeting some new people will also make you feel better. Recently, there are several social activities, which will be held on Tuesday and Wednesday next week, and the plan is in the form of a dance."

Zuo Meng is a member of the student union. Although it doesn't have any major role, it is better to be well-informed.

"Dance, vulgar and old-fashioned, you really have nothing new."

Xu Chen slipped on his slippers, casually picked up the apples in the living room, bit into the apples, and shook his head while answering.

"Come on, you, it's because there is no new idea. There are so many things this year, and we have to do them all. It's the new year's welcome and the school's celebration. Who has the energy to take care of it."

When Zuo Meng heard him slurping his food, she couldn't help but smiled, and said something complaining, but she didn't have any resentment in her heart.

"Okay, okay, you've worked so hard, okay?" Xu Chen laughed happily, and threw the gnawed apple into the trash can, "I'm so hungry now, so I won't continue with you." Let's talk, I'll go find something to eat."

"Well... well, I have something to do too, so that's it, bye."

Zuo Meng looked at her friend who was embracing her with a wide smile on her face, and quickly closed the line, then discussed with the people beside her what to have for lunch.

Now that that person has made a decision, he can relax, ah... what a sunny day.

Xu Chen laughed and lamented that women are too cruel, obviously she was the one who was in a hurry to find him, but ended up cutting off the phone more quickly than anyone else.

He stretched his body, got up and stuffed all his belongings into a huge mountaineering bag. The canvas mountaineering bag was bulged. Xu Chen patted it, as if he was patting on a The same as on the round belly.

After carrying a hiking bag and changing his shoes, and then went to the hotel restaurant to have a delicious lunch, Xu Chen took a taxi back to school contentedly.