Forget about the past

Xu's mother called Xu Chen, and she was equally anxious on the other end of the phone: "Didn't I tell you to take it easy, you silly child."

Xu Chen's nose was sore, and he called out "Mom" in a low voice.

"Have you been wronged? Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, wait until I talk to your father, your father is a good man, don't blame him." Mother Xu sighed, "Where is Xiao Gu, is he still there?"

"Um……"

Mother Xu's tone was rare and serious: "As long as you're fine, Xu Chen, do you still remember the lop-eared rabbit you wanted so much when you were in elementary school?"

"Remember, at that time you asked me to tell my father that I had to fight for what I wanted." Xu Chen looked down at Chang Ge holding his hand.

"But you are very introverted, and the old man is always serious, so you don't dare," Xu's mother looked gentle, she smiled, "I still remember a few nights when I went to see you, your pillow was wet."

"My father brought back a cage one night, and it happened to be the lop-eared rabbit I was thinking about. Even the black spot on the ear was exactly the same. I was so happy that my father just patted my head and said," Xu said. Chen's expression gradually became serious, and in the interlaced time and space, the voices of the father and son overlapped:

"Don't be an example. No one will give you what you want. If you want it, then speak up. If you can't get it, then take action. Haven't you already tasted the taste of not getting it? ?"

"Yeah, that's what I want to tell you. The society doesn't sympathize with tears, nor does it pity the weak. Xu Chen, if you want others to recognize you, you have to prove your own worth first." Xu's mother poured water into a pot of green radishes , "The first step, you have to convince your father."

Xu's father is a stubborn person, no matter how hard Xu Chen tries to talk, he is not willing to make half a concession. No matter how thick-skinned Xu Chen is, he will still feel discouraged and sad when faced with the disregard or even denial of his close relatives.

A thousand vicious curses from other people are not as painful as a "you are wrong" from a close relative. It seems that my entire life has been completely denied because of this.

Unfamiliar relatives even came to "persuade" Xu Chen, all with a dignified face of "thinking about you". Discuss.

To make matters worse, Xu Chen's hard-working comics were stolen. Xu Chen went around and asked a few words, but the other party immediately pretended to be wronged and said that he was wronged. From disrespecting women to wanton slander to plagiarism and even mentioning homosexuality, Xu Chen was almost pissed off, and threw a few hammers thinking that those people would shut up. , I only know that the ghost screamed that Xu Chen was splashing dirty water.

Xu Chen was exhausted physically and mentally, his chest seemed to be stuffed with cotton, and he couldn't get up or down, so that even breathing became a burden.Seeing him sad, Changge felt uncomfortable.

One night, the two slept together with their backs to each other. They fell asleep when they heard each other gradually breathing and singing. When they woke up thirsty in the middle of the night, they found that Xu Chen's eyes were wide open, as if he was in a daze, or he had never fallen asleep at all. , His dark eyes are like the surface of the sea under the night, it is difficult for people to tell what is inside.

Changge looked at him fixedly, his throat was still very dry after drinking water, he called him: "Xu Chen..."

After calling out a few times, he came back to his senses as if he had just woken up from a dream, showing the same smile as usual: "What's wrong?"

Are you feeling bad, but why didn't you mention this to me?Regarding your suffering or scars, you always keep silent and keep a smile on your face, as if no disaster has ever happened to you.

Xu Chen, Xu Chen, what should I do with you? Isn't love about sharing and coexistence?

Changge lowered his eyes, kissed him roughly, and finally whispered: "Come with me to the bar."

Xu Chen raised his hand to touch his face, and nodded obediently: "Okay."

The two simply washed up and were ready to go out, before hugging each other and exchanging a kiss.

Changge didn't seem to be in a good mood, so Xu Chen stood next to him and held his hand a little harder. He didn't know how to comfort him, but all he could do was let the other party know as much as possible. --I'm here.

The tacit understanding between them is like this, for example, when Xu Chen is unhappy, Changge will not force him to ask questions, and when Changge does not speak, Xu Chen will only accompany and wait quietly.

There was hardly any conversation, the two touched the wine glass lightly in the air, and then drank it with their heads up. The cold liquid slid from the throat all the way into the stomach, as if it could dispel the dark clouds that were stagnant in their hearts.

Why worry?Only Dukang!

Xu Chen couldn't drink much, so he soon lay down on the table with a drunken face, his body limp into mud.

Changge's eyes were still clear, but his face was slightly red. He lowered his head and stared quietly at his lover for a long time, as if turning into a sculpture for a long time. After a long time, he stretched out his hand and gently Caressed each other's temples.

It was late at night, but the city was still brightly lit, and the night that should have been dark was brightened a bit. Yes, this is a city that never sleeps.There are extremely small, extremely distant stars in the sky, faintly shining a little bit of light that cannot be touched.

Under the orange light, Changge walked forward step by step with Xu Chen on his back. The streetlights dragged the shadows of the two of them very long. Nankang once wrote a passage, saying that he was very happy to see her husband drinking , so that others can see that he is drunk, and he can support him openly.

Changge never cared about the eyes of others. This time, he deliberately paid attention to the eyes of those passers-by, and the eyes they cast when they were together in normal times were indeed very different.

He didn't know how to figure out where those people's malice came from, but he didn't realize until now that his delicate lover had endured so much unkindness and humiliation but still stood with him with a smile on his face.

With Changge's temperament, he didn't care about these at all, but Xu Chen was wronged because of this, so he had to pay attention and care.

Changge remembered a message that Xu's father sent him: "Let him return to the path of a normal person, he can't bear it at all."

Changge's eyes dimmed, let him... come back?

Xu Chen lay on Changge's shoulder, half-opening his eyes and looking at the other side's face. He remembered that snowy night two years ago, Changge pretended to be drunk even though he could drink a lot, and asked himself to support him. Kissed himself next to the artificial lake, that was the first kiss between them.

Xu Chen stretched his neck and kissed the other person's face. Seeing him turn his head, he leaned back on Changge's shoulder shyly, pretending that he was just drunk.

Changge patted him on the back reassuringly, stopped, and carried his butt up, before continuing to walk home.

Back home, Xu Chen rushed into the toilet holding the toilet and vomited dizzily. Changge wanted to go over and help him with his back, but Xu Chen made a gesture of refusal. Changge had to stop, and after a while he turned around and went to the kitchen , brought him a glass of honey water, Xu Chen rinsed his mouth, took a few more sips, and whispered "thank you" to Changge.

After helping Xu Chen wash his face, wipe his body clean, and put him on the bed, it was dawn, probably because of the alcohol, this was the first time in the past half month that Xu Chen fell asleep without any obstacles.

Changge looked at his defenseless sleeping face, watched him wake up from a dream, and watched him talk nonsense with tears streaming down his face: "Changge, who do you think is not living in this world covered in filth? Since No one is so clean, what do those people rely on to support their self-righteous, noble and refined faces?"

"Long song, long song..." He called his name over and over again in a hoarse voice, and he was choked up, "Why do I feel that even living has become a burden? I'm so tired, is it true that death is the only way to go?" Is the only, the only relief?"

Changge didn't answer him, and he couldn't give him an answer, he just looked at him hopelessly from a distance, the thing in his chest hurt as if it had been crushed, but he didn't show any emotion on his face .

His hands were shaking all the time when he lit the cigarette, and after lighting it several times, it finally started to light up slowly. He took a deep breath and swallowed all the damned harmful gas in order to find a little comfort.

In the smog, Chang Ge's eyebrows became blurred.

Those who have seen him smile will know how painful his tears are.

Yes, he was supposed to be happy. Changge even thought conceitedly that he could give him happiness, but now it seems that he made a mistake. That person who is still in a dream with tears on his face is really Was it the boy he used to be who seemed to be ignorant of the sufferings of the world, but the one who made him unhappy was himself.

Cigarettes, he had quit long ago, but this time it was like the last analgesic for the seriously injured.

Xu Chen was startled when he touched the soaked pillow when he woke up. Because of the hangover, his mind was not clear. He rubbed his messy hair and walked from the bedroom to the living room, calling Changge's name as he walked.

No one answered him, he thought Changge had gone to work, but unexpectedly, Changge was sitting in the living room.

Xu Chen called out "Chang Ge", Chang Ge looked up at him with no expression on his face, and said to him in a flat tone like talking about the weather:

"Xu Chen, let's break up."

The author has something to say:

Little abuse and joy, to be honest, I still like to write abuse texts quack quack