Traceable

Qin Yue acted resolutely and never procrastinated. Within a few days, he notified Gu Xun and Lin Yuyao that the reality show had been selected.

The reality show I received was imported from abroad, but it lacked new ideas. It was just an ordinary team-based competitive competition. Fortunately, it tested the stars' physical fitness and intelligence level, and had lower requirements for artistic skills. Lin Yuyao breathed a sigh of relief.

On the other hand, Chen Xuemin's film is also in full swing.Gu Xun recently accepted a cameo role in a movie, and he's been on another film crew for the past few days.Xu Baomu went to Iceland to film the new song MV and did not come to the set.Lin Yuyao filmed director Chen's scenes for a few days, thinking about the busy schedule ahead, so he found a spare time before the reality show started shooting and went back home.

Liu Hongyun lives in the suburbs of Beijing. The house was placed by Lin Yuyao in the past two years. They are in the same city, not too far away, but he seldom goes back.

First, being busy with work was an excuse, and second, he and Liu Hongyun often had nothing to say when they got together, which only added to the embarrassment.

Lin Yuyao had notified Song Ping in advance before going back this time. Song Ping and Liu Hongyun grew up in the same town. They were as close as sisters, and lost their husbands one after another. The two women lived together and helped each other.

It was evening when Lin Yuyao went back, Song Ping was washing vegetables and cooking in the kitchen, and Liu Hongyun was listening to storytelling in the room.

"Here we come." Song Ping hurriedly wiped the water from her hands when she heard the door opening, and went out of the kitchen to meet him, "Why did you bring so many things?"

"Some nutrition, not much." Lin Yuyao put down the bag in his hand.

Song Ping led him to sit on the sofa, poured water and cut fruits, and greeted him thoughtfully, as if Lin Yuyao was a guest.

"I'm going to call your mother. Her voice of storytelling is loud. She probably didn't hear what we were doing outside." Song Ping said.

"No need for Aunt Song, she will come out naturally when we eat later." Lin Yuyao stopped him.

"Hey, okay." Song Ping thought of the relationship between their mother and son, and wiped her apron with both hands, feeling a little embarrassed, "Then Yaoyao, you sit first, and I'll go cook."

"Let me help you." Lin Yuyao followed suit and stood up.

"You're usually tired from work, so take a good rest. You really don't need help." Aunt Song murmured and wanted to drive him out of the kitchen, but she couldn't, so she had to give up.

The two were chatting and cooking in the few inches of the kitchen. Looking from the outside, they looked like a mother and son.

Liu Hongyun came out of the bedroom at some point, and glanced at the scene in the kitchen.

"Hongyun, you've come out, Yaoyao just came back." Song Ping said with a smile.

Lin Yuyao called out, "Mom."

Liu Hongyun remained expressionless, nodded slightly after a long while, and then entered the bedroom again.

Song Ping turned around and continued cutting peppers, and sighed leisurely, but Lin Yuyao didn't respond.

Liu Hongyun didn't come out of the room until dinner at night. The dinner table was very quiet, except for the occasional sound of chopsticks hitting dishes.Song Ping wanted to liven up the atmosphere, but she was an outsider because of emotion and reason, so it was not good to keep chattering at this time.

Lin Yuyao has lived in this oppressive and silent atmosphere for more than 20 years, and she has long been accustomed to it.

When he was a child, he thought that everyone's family was like this. He didn't know it was not until he went to the other party's house for a party on his classmate's birthday.It turns out that in an ordinary family, the court is filled with laughter and caring, rather than silence and beatings and scolding.

Only his life is an exception.

"Yaoyao, eat more beef. Your mother said you like boiled beef the most. I made it specially. If it hadn't been raining for the past two days and your mother's legs hurt a little, she would have made it herself." Song Ping picked up some beef with her serving chopsticks. Put a piece of beef in Lin Yuyao's bowl.

Liu Hongyun was a little displeased when he heard the words that obviously eased the atmosphere, and said bluntly, "I don't know how to cook this dish."

Song Ping couldn't answer anymore.

Lin Yuyao said, "Does your leg still hurt? Do you want to do two more courses of acupuncture last time?"

"It hurts as soon as this day comes, and it's useless to do it." Liu Hongyun said impatiently.

Her leg was broken a few months ago, and it lasted a hundred days. It hasn't completely healed yet, and it hurts when it rains.

Lin Yuyao nodded without further rebuttal.

Afterwards, the atmosphere changed, and the three of them chatted while eating.After eating and starting to clear the table, Lin Yuyao thought of the purpose of coming back this time.

"Dr. Huang called me a few days ago and said that you haven't been to her for a while..."

"I'm not sick, why go to her place!" Liu Hongyun was sitting at the table cleaning up the debris, and interrupted Lin Yuyao decisively.

"The doctor will judge whether you are sick or not. It is always good to go and see."

"You're the one who wants to see it! You're the only perverted homosexual who wants to see a mental illness!" Liu Hongyun's voice suddenly became sharp, and at the same time, he grabbed a plate and threw it at him.

Lin Yuyao didn't expect that she would suddenly get into trouble, and before she could dodge in time, the forehead was hit by a plate, and then there was only a thud, and the plate shattered on the floor.

Song Ping stared anxiously at the side: "Why are you so good..."

The atmosphere of harmony was instantly broken.Lin Yuyao and Liu Hongyun are like enemies in each other's lives. They are dedicated to struggling with each other's peaceful life. From time to time, they always throw themselves into the calm sea water like a boulder, setting up turbulent waves and torturing each other.

Lin Yuyao held the forehead that was hit and watched her go crazy: "Calm down."

Liu Hongyun had lost control of his mind at this time, and asked: "Didn't you tell me that you broke up! Look at what the newspapers and TV say! You are still messing with a man, isn't it disgusting!"

Song Ping held her back and persuaded her, "Okay, okay, don't be like this, Yaoyao finally came back." At the same time, she winked at Lin Yuyao, telling him not to provoke Liu Hongyun again.

Song Ping pushed Liu Hongyun into the bedroom, closed the door, and there were voices of comfort and conversation inside.

Lin Yuyao stood alone in the messy living room for a while, then found a cleaning tool to sort the debris on the floor into the trash can, and cleaned up the dining table.

The first time Liu Hongyun knew that Lin Yuyao was gay was when she was forced to come out.As a family member and mother, because she doesn't pay attention to the news and gossip, and doesn't go online, she can be said to be the last person who knows her son's sexual orientation.

At that time, the company asked Lin Yuyao and Gu Xun to settle down with their parents, and it would be best if the family members were interviewed by the media to show that they supported their son's decision.In this way, it will be helpful to a certain extent for the two of them to come out of the closet.

Gu Xun's parents were easy to talk to, but when Lin Yuyao went home and saw Liu Hongyun, he was treated differently.

Lin Yuyao had a premonition that his mother would definitely not accept such shocking things, and he didn't come back to see Liu Hongyun to let the other party show his support in front of the public.Just being a son and daughter, he came out of the closet, so he should have told his mother as soon as possible.

However, Liu Hongyun's reaction was too shocking. Liu Hongyun hadn't beaten him since he was 16 years old, but this time he beat and scolded him hard.However, beating and scolding was useless, and his sexual orientation could not be changed, so Liu Hongyun forced him to be locked in the room, and he was not allowed to go out or go to work.

The company was so anxious that they couldn't get in touch, and finally Gu Xun came, but Gu Xun's arrival only stimulated Liu Hongyun even more.

Lin Yuyao had no choice but to kneel in front of her and said, "I'm sorry, Mom, please forgive me."

Liu Hongyun was sitting on the sofa with red eyes, cursing, she was pale Shen Ren, tortured each other for the past few days, both of them were very haggard, but neither of them wanted to make a change.

Gu Xun stood by and was helpless, Liu Hongyun said it was his own family business and told him to leave.

Gu Xun looked at Lin Yuyao who was kneeling on the ground with his head lowered, he clenched the hand hanging by his side, and after a while he also knelt down with a thud.

"Auntie, it's my fault. If you want to scold or beat you, you came to me. I led Yu Yao on this road." Gu Xun said, looking directly at Liu Hongyun.

Pointing at him, Liu Hongyun kept trembling, and said, "Get lost!"

This is someone else's son, she can't teach him a lesson.

Gu Xun couldn't leave at this time, he knelt beside Lin Yuyao, took the other's hand, and said, "Auntie, if you let Yuyao go, I will go."

Lin Yuyao struggled with his wrist, but didn't move away. He looked up at Gu Xun, who smiled at him leisurely and blinked.

Before Lin Yuyao responded, Liu Hongyun was very angry at this scene, she raised her hand and slapped Gu Xun.

This blow was so hard that it stunned Gu Xun, who was still at ease a second ago, and a red mark appeared on his face.

Lin Yuyao was startled, and quickly reached out to touch Gu Xun's face.

"Are you okay?" he asked anxiously.

Gu Xun waved his hand away, stared straight at Liu Hongyun, gritted his teeth secretly, and burst into anger, but finally turned his head away and suppressed the anger.

"As I said, you can beat or scold at will, as long as you can forgive Yaoyao." Gu Xun said.

"Don't even think about it! I won't admit that I have a gay son!" Liu Hongyun was so angry that she immediately kicked them out.

It was winter at that time, and the temperature outside the house was freezing cold. Lin Yuyao curled up to touch Gu Xun's red and swollen face.

"Does it hurt?"

Gu Xun looked at his cautious and guilty look, and most of his anger dissipated: "You must know that my parents never beat me, but your mother beat me first."

Lin Yuyao showed his first smile in the past few days. He knew that Gu Xun was arrogant and had never suffered a loss in the open or in the dark. He probably never knelt down to anyone since he was a child, but today he Without hesitation, he knelt down and was slapped.

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have come. My mother has a bad temper. I'll just settle this matter myself."

Gu Xun hugged him to keep warm, and breathed out bursts of white air while speaking, like boiling water vapor, making people feel a little heat out of thin air.

"I'll be with you." Gu Xun said softly.

They endured the cold outside the door for 10 minutes. Seeing that Liu Hongyun was really determined to chase away people, Gu Xun had no choice but to contact his assistant to drive the car downstairs in the community, and the two quickly went downstairs and got into the car.

When Gu Xun came, he was fully armed, wearing a down jacket.Lin Yuyao stayed at home all the time. When he was kicked out, he was only wearing a sweater. At this time, his lips were black and blue from the cold, and his hands were trembling with his chest folded.

"Come here." Gu Xun unzipped the down jacket and opened it to both sides.

Lin Yuyao rushed over immediately, Gu Xun closed his clothes and was enveloped in his arms.

The two hugged each other in the back seat of the car in an intimate gesture.The driver and assistant in front pretended not to see it, and only complained that the air conditioner in the car was turned on so high that it was still cold.

Lin Yuyao hugged Gu Xun's waist, and buried her head in his shoulder. Because of the other's body temperature, her frozen body began to warm up gradually.

"It seems to be thinner." Gu Xun stroked his shoulders and waist, his tentacles felt skinny.

"Really? Director Liu's play made me lose a few pounds, so I don't need to go on a diet to lose weight." Lin Yuyao said in a lively tone.

Gu Xun laughed, touched the waist of the person in his arms erotically, and whispered in an ambiguous whisper: "Hurry up and bring it back, I like to hold sensual ones."

Lin Yuyao lowered his head and bit his collarbone in retaliation.

"Why do you bite people when you disagree, you belong to a dog." Gu Xun hissed.

"Shut up." Lin Yuyao became angry from embarrassment.

It was snowing outside the window, and it was freezing everywhere. They hid in the car and enjoyed the warmth to themselves.

Lin Yuyao was drowsy in Gu Xun's arms, and the place where he was beaten was still screaming in pain. When Gu Xun's arm circle came up and he pressed it, Lin Yuyao froze in pain for a moment, but didn't speak.

He didn't expect Gu Xun to come.He has been alone since he was a child, and he can only solve problems by himself.But now it was different. When he was suffering from pain and sorrow, someone would come to him from a long distance, willing to accompany him to face the difficulties.

Lin Yuyao tightened his arms holding Gu Xun, he greedily hoped to keep this moment forever.

Just like what is being hummed in the car music - how good it is to keep the temperature, speed and tenderness, and freeze today.

In the next few years, Lin Yuyao and Liu Hongyun started a tug-of-war, and every meeting was a disaster.

Liu Hongyun beat, scolded, threatened, and cried, but nothing worked.Lin Yuyao was like a stubborn stone, showing no signs of enlightenment.In fact, the relationship between their mother and son has gradually improved in the past few years, but now it has fallen to the bottom because of coming out.

Liu Hongyun even cried and begged him, saying: "Do you know that when I went out for a walk and met neighbors, they complimented me on the surface and envied me, but in fact they laughed at me behind the scenes. The more money you make, the more famous you will be." What's the use, people are still laughing at me behind my back, laughing at my son as a pervert, everyone knows it!"

Lin Yuyao looked at the patterns on the sofa, but didn't speak.

In fact, the truth after coming out of the closet is far less beautiful than what is portrayed on the Internet. In the real world, they are not accepted at all, and only a small number of people can accept the heterogeneous.

And Liu Hongyun was dragged into it, and was forced to receive countless gossip and pressure.Lin Yuyao felt sorry, but no matter how her sexual orientation changed, the mother and son could only stand at a stalemate.

"Why can't you change it? Why can't you!" Liu Hongyun cried, and suddenly looked at him with resentment in his eyes, "What did I do in my previous life to make you refuse to let me go!"

Lin Yuyao was stabbed by this look, bowed his head and said, "It can't be changed, it can't be changed."

This sentence hit Liu Hongyun's sore spot somewhere, she slapped her directly, Lin Yuyao turned her head away from the slap, but she didn't even groan, she endured everything silently.

In the past few years, when he met Liu Hongyun, the usual routines were quarreling, crying, throwing dishes and bowls, like two armies facing each other before the battle, neither willing to bow their heads first, and there was no peace for a moment.Gradually, Lin Yuyao became less willing to go home to make trouble, and the number of times he came back gradually decreased.

But until now, until now when he and Gu Xun have broken up, until today when he admits defeat and compromises first, Liu Hongyun is still unwilling to talk to him and communicate with him, and he is unwilling to forgive him.

Perhaps the gap between him and Liu Hongyun has become too deep to be saved.

The lighting in the living room is adjustable, and Song Ping adjusted it to the lowest level in order to save electricity bills. It was dark and silent, and Lin Yuyao sat alone on the sofa, like a lifeless sculpture.

Song Ping comforted Liu Hongyun and left the bedroom, poured a cup of hot tea into Lin Yuyao's hands.

"Okay, she's asleep." Song Ping sat beside her.

"Please, Aunt Song." Lin Yuyao stroked the wall of the ceramic cup.

"Don't be so polite, you kid..." Song Ping changed the subject, "Do you want to watch TV?"

The TV is rarely turned on at home, and Liu Hongyun doesn't want to watch it. After all, it is troublesome for her to be able to see the face of her son or Gu Xun when she picks a channel at random.

Song Ping likes to watch TV dramas, and presses the remote control to turn down the volume, so as not to wake up the sleeping Liu Hongyun.

"I was chasing you to play that doctor drama a few days ago. If... what's the matter, it's really good, but it's too cruel." Song Ping said.

"If tomorrow doesn't come." Lin Yuyao completed the name of her work.

"Yes, it's this TV series. It's so good, and the acting is really good." Song Ping praised him sincerely.

Lin Yuyao smiled.

The two were sitting on the sofa watching TV, and suddenly Song Ping's hand that adjusted the channel stopped suddenly: "Hey, this person is not..." Her eyesight was not very good, and she squinted her eyes for a long time before she recognized the person on the screen. .

Lin Yu looked over, and Gu Xun's face immediately came into view.This is a movie channel, which is broadcasting Gu Xun's works.In this film, Gu Xun played a character with multiple personalities. At that time, his brows were a little green, but his acting skills were so colorful and varied that it was amazing.

In the past two years, Lin Yuyao also played a similar role with multiple personalities, and was nominated for the best supporting actor for the first time in his acting career, but unfortunately missed it in the end.The public commented that he has too many traces of imitation, and the object of imitation is his lover who gets along day and night.

Lin Yuyao is a fan of the authorities, so he doesn't know if he inadvertently imitated Gu Xun when he was acting, maybe he did.

Song Ping turned her head and glanced at his expression, then hurriedly switched the station away, and said to herself, "Why can't I find the station that puts your TV series on?"

Lin Yuyao smiled and said, "It's so late, it's probably over, so let's watch the movie just now."

Song Ping turned back the channel in embarrassment, and Gu Xun's face appeared and disappeared on the screen.

"You and him really..." Song Ping stammered, "Separated?"

The middle-aged woman spends all day with daily necessities, seldom pays attention to entertainment gossip, and can't see through the false and true things in the entertainment industry.

"Divided." Lin Yuyao replied.

Song Ping felt embarrassed for a while: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you about that incident at that time..."

"It has nothing to do with you, Aunt Song." Lin Yuyao said.

"I shouldn't talk too much, alas." Song Ping sighed with self-pity, "You child, you like to carry things by yourself since you were young, and the human heart is so big, if you accumulate too much pressure, you will collapse. Although the two men I don't understand or understand the matter of having a partner, but if you feel happy, you just keep doing it, as for your mother... Sigh."

As he talked, he realized that this was an unsolvable proposition, so he shut up.

"I know." Lin Yuyao said after a while, "Then Aunt Song, I will leave first, and I will come back to see you next time when I have time. You have worked hard to take care of my mother. You can watch her take medicine on time. Just persuade her to go to Dr. Huang."

"Let's go now? Let's stay at home for one night, it's already so late." Song Ping stood up.

"No," Lin Yuyao said with a smile, "I still have work tomorrow morning."

"Okay, pay attention to safety on the road. You should also pay attention to rest during work. Your health is the most important thing." Aunt Song sent him to the door.

"You too, pay more attention to your body."

"Hey, your mother is asleep, so I won't call her to see you off, you guys..." Aunt Song couldn't stop her headache when she mentioned their abnormal relationship.

Lin Yuyao hugged her and went out.

When he got downstairs, Lin Yuyao didn't send the driver assistant to pick him up, and he didn't drive back to the city immediately. Instead, he found a flower bed downstairs in the community and sat down.

In the midsummer night sky, due to heavy pollution, there are no stars to be seen, and only a crescent moon hangs in the sky.

There are not many residents in the community, and there is no passerby for half a day.Street lamps, breeze, cicadas singing, crescent moon, these are the only things that accompany him.

Every time after meeting Liu Hongyun, Lin Yuyao felt greatly hurt.In the past, at this time, there would always be someone by his side.Just like the heavy snow day when I came out of the closet many years ago, there should be a temperature that can be touched.

Everything that happened in the past few months was like a long and vague dream, and the temperature he wanted to keep forever was no longer with him.

He suddenly missed Gu Xun's embrace.

The author has something to say:

[1] "How about retaining the temperature, speed, tenderness and anger, and condensing today." From "Salon" by Eason Chan.

There are also a few lines of lyrics in it: "Lover will lose cuteness, the world will change, only one style, the classic encounter is no longer."