Traceable

As far as I can remember, there are only two people in the family—my mother and myself.Lin Yuyao didn't have a father. When he was younger, he was ignorant. When he was bullied by children of the same age, he would run home crying and ask, "Mom, where is Dad? Why do others have it, but I don't?"

I don't dare to grow up anymore, because this is a taboo topic, and mentioning it is a severe beating-whip, stick, nail, or a feather duster that sounds funny.Every blow is real, on the back, on the legs, on the arms, all the hidden places that can be covered are full of bloodstains and pinch marks.After a period of recovery, new injuries will be added.

Lin Yuyao has lived such a cycle of life since she was a child.

If the clothes are soiled, they will be beaten.If the test score is lower than 90, you will be beaten.If you break a bowl, you will be beaten... In short, as long as you make a mistake and make your mother feel bad, Liu Hongyun will push him into the storage room at home, close the door, kneel down, take off his shirt, nails or When the stick fell, he gritted his teeth and refused to cry out.

This is Liu Hongyun's rules, which were forced on Lin Yuyao's body, and what tied him was the blood relationship, which made it impossible for people to resist.

Lin Yuyao lives a square life every day, going to and from school, reading books and doing homework, no entertainment, no playmates, home and school constitute the whole life. When he was 13 years old, he entered junior high school, and Liu Hongyun found a job where he left early and returned late, and finally had a chance to breathe.

Liu Hongyun didn't get home until 08:30 in the evening, and Lin Yuyao had nearly four hours of free time after school at 04:30 in the afternoon, most of which was spent playing football with classmates or going to the game hall on the street to play games.But most of the time, he was covered in sweat and dust before he played for a long time, and Liu Hongyun might feel the clues when he went home at night and saw him. He played with trepidation every time.

Fortunately, Lin Yuyao soon discovered a secret castle - a pirated video store near the school, and he began to rent discs from there to watch at home.Cartoons, TV shows or movies.Comprehensible, incomprehensible, or half-understood.

The illusory spiritual communication is very beautiful, and it greatly soothes Lin Yuyao's boring and daunting life.

But the good times didn’t last long. One night he fell asleep watching a movie. After Liu Hongyun came home, he found out about his yin and yang. Can't be more sensible, do you know how tired I am every day?"...

Finally, it ends with the sentence "Why did you have to be born".

Lin Yuyao is not afraid of being beaten and scolded, but he is very afraid of Liu Hongyun's complaints, every sentence is like a soft thorn, in the heart of the package, it hurts badly but can't be pulled out, as if everything she had Lin Yuyao's misfortune and suffering were all caused by Lin Yuyao, and he committed a crime for no reason.

The next day Liu Hongyun locked the master bedroom, and Lin Yuyao bid farewell to his short entertainment career.

When he went to that video store again, he could only wander around casually.After a long time, the boss in the store noticed him and asked him if he had no money.

Lin Yuyao tugged at the corner of his clothes and said nothing. The boss said that he could take it back for him to read for free, but he had to remember to send it back later.

"My mother won't show me..." Lin Yuyao whispered.

It might sound weird to say that the owner of a video store isn't really a boss, but it's true.The boss is in his early 20s, but he is very fat. The fat accumulated in the narrow space behind the counter makes him look like a thick and thick mountain.

After hanging out in the store for a long time, the boss seldom speaks, he is taciturn, his facial features covered by fat and fat are tangled and distressed, Lin Yuyao was a little afraid of him at first, but not anymore.

Because he invited Lin Yuyao to watch movies with him every day after school, in the darkroom of the video store.

The darkroom is small, with only a huge screen, and the door is facing the video store outside, so they can observe the outside situation when they sit inside.Of course, business in the store is bleak, and there is no customer for hours, usually they are addicted to the movie.

The boss has rich experience, and the movies he chooses are interesting and classic.They spent many evenings and nights in that cramped darkroom, two people, one movie.They seldom communicate, or rather—rarely communicate through language and body, but they are familiar with each other.

Those were the happiest and most relaxing days of Lin Yuyao's childhood and youth.The awakening of his sexuality also came from that time.

The boss is taciturn, but he's not boring. Although it's a pirated video store, it doesn't even have pornography.Naturally, he wouldn't take Lin Yuyao to watch porn, but they watched a same-sex movie together one night.

Lin Yuyao deliberately forgot what the movie was called. He only remembered his surprise and panic at that time, and the face of their class monitor that frequently flashed in his mind.I finished watching the two-hour movie almost fidgeting, and then fled home in a hurry.

He didn't go to that video store again for a whole month, and when he went to school and saw the monitor, he would subconsciously dodge his eyes.The first signs of sexuality made his already difficult life even worse. He often couldn't sleep or woke up from dreams all night long.

The pressure was too great, but he had no one to tell, not even his family or classmates.Maybe talk to the boss?Lin Yu thought to himself.

But when he went to the video store again, everything changed.The door of the audio-visual store was closed tightly, with traces of red stains stuck to the door rail, and a yellow cordon around the outside, which looked like a murder scene in an old movie.

This association made Lin Yuyao panic for no reason. He stood at the door, at a loss.

The proprietress of the nearby department store knew him and knew that he often went to the video store next door.

"Are you Xiaosun's friend?" The proprietress sat at the door and talked to him.

"What about others? Why is the door closed?" Lin Yuyao asked in a steady voice.

"You haven't been here for a long time. A few evenings ago, a group of middle school students came to the store to watch porn, and Xiao Sun said no. Wherever those kids believed it, they rummaged everywhere, messing up the store..."

The lady proprietress of the department store was rambling on without getting to the point, and Lin Yuyao became more and more flustered in her words.

"... Later, I don't know who made the first move. Don't look at Fatty Sun, his body is really flexible. The few gangsters are no match for him, but the other party has a knife, so he just cut it... Sigh." The proprietress sighed tone.

"Xiao Sun has no relatives or family members here, and the body was still collected by the corpse collection team. Neither of them can lift him. You say this..." She almost laughed, but then she realized that she couldn't make fun of the dead, so she quickly recovered her expression , turned around and said to Lin Yuyao, "It's a good thing you haven't come these days, otherwise..."

The video store usually had few customers, and the time when the boss was killed was the time when Lin Yuyao came every time. If he was there, he might not escape the same fate.

Lin Yuyao stood in front of the store in a daze, feeling a rusty smell of rust in his nose for no reason.He didn't move, his eyes were dull. After a while, he trembled suddenly, and then he ran back, ran to the tree across the road, and retched while holding the tree trunk.

There are often scenes in movies where people vomit when they encounter extremely sad and unbelievable things.Lin Yuyao used to think that this was an exaggerated way of expression, but until now, at the door of the store where the boss was killed, he knew that movies are real life.

"It's disgusting," he thought. "It's disgusting."

What is disgusting is not the group of hooligans who killed people, nor is it the lady proprietress of the department store who said in a disgusted tone, "The person next door died, and I don't know if it will affect our business"...

Lin Yuyao was disgusted by himself.At that moment, the moment he learned that his boss had been killed, the first thought that popped into his mind was "Great."

Very good.Very good.Fortunately I didn't come that day.

Lin Yuyao's face was covered with tears, and he was still retching non-stop. In the end, only sour water was left, and his mouth was numb and bitter.

At the moment when others were killed, he was actually glad that he escaped.

Why, people are so selfish and disgusting.