with life

Chuning's breath disappeared without a trace.

For several days in a row, Jiang Yao lived as if in a dream, dazed, chattering sometimes, and always absent-minded when working. Sometimes she seemed to see the corpse of the deceased talking, and sometimes felt that the funeral home was full of dead souls floating everywhere.Chu Ning was like a dream, as if she had never appeared in Jiang Yao's life, and Jiang Yao, who woke up after the dream, suddenly realized why she wanted to work as an embalmer, and there was no reason.

The lingering night left an indelible imprint on Jiang Yao's body and mind. She often thought of it, and would feel a burst of bleakness under her body, invading her most private and soft depths. , the gentleness that man gave seemed real and illusory, turning into a pain in her chest to remind her.Many times, as long as she recalled that night, she felt so painful that it was difficult to live normally. She suffered from insomnia at night and lack of energy during the day, together with fragmentary images of the past, torturing her nerves day by day.

Jiang Yao is sick, very sick.

She was uncomfortable everywhere, but she couldn't find any problems. On the contrary, she was in good health.The only thing that has changed is her schedule. As soon as she closes her eyes at night, her mind is filled with Chu Ning's desperate crying and melancholy eyes. After closing her eyes for a long time, her chest will start to hurt, so painful that she has to open her eyes. It will disappear in an instant, accompanied by Chuning in his head, disappearing...

When Mother Jiang learned that she was in such a state, Jiang Yao had been tossing and tossing for a week, unable to work or live a normal life.With two big panda eyes on her face, Jiang Yao wrapped her cotton padded clothes tightly around her body, and sat on the sofa with her computer in her arms to play. There are still three days until New Year's Eve. interest.She can't go around to visit relatives during the New Year, let alone take the initiative to shake hands with people, and she has to avoid weddings and other festive occasions. Due to professional reasons, she is used to being bored alone.

Besides thinking about Chuning, I still think about Chuning.

"Yaoyao, your Auntie Chen's son is coming back these two days, mom arranged for you to meet?"

"No see." Jiang Yao hugged the dog and nestled on the sofa, drowsy.

Her half-opened and half-closed eyelids were drooping. From this angle, she couldn't see the unnaturalness on Jiang Ma's face. She always thought that the elders would naturally urge the marriage when they were old. After she simply refused, she heard footsteps from far to near. Only then did Jiang Yao forcefully open her eyes, and her mother had already moved in front of her.

"Mom, are you...?"

"Your mental state is not right recently, and you can't find any results when you go to the hospital. Could it be something evil..."

"What is evil, I don't believe in that." Having said that, she immediately thought of Chuning. Isn't that the so-called "evil" she had personally encountered?The seemingly real and unreal lingering night didn't impress her too much, the only thing she remembered was the coldness and watery tenderness all over Chuning's body.After thinking for many days, that person did not appear again, which made her wonder if everything was just a dream of her own.

Suddenly, Jiang Yao paused, and turned her eyes straight to her mother.She remembered asking her mother if she knew Chuning, but then she found out about Chuning's identity. At that time, her mother was trying to hide something... Could it be that she was the only one who didn't know?

"Mom, do you believe in ghosts?"

"Why are you asking this, it's fine..." Jiang Ma turned her face away.

Seeing her expression, Jiang Yao felt more and more that something was wrong, maybe it had something to do with Chuning, and suddenly regained her spirits, "Mom, you must know something, in case something really happened to me..."

"Bah ah! Don't talk nonsense!"

"Chuning came to look for me."

Jiang Yao sat up straight and looked expressionlessly at the astonishment and panic on Jiang Ma's face, quietly waiting for her to say a few useful words, but Jiang Ma kept her eyes wide open and her lips murmured silently.After a while, a look of anger flashed across her eyes, and she was trembling with anger, "How dare she come to you?! You were said to be like that, I don't believe her ghost is still there! Shameless woman...! "

I don't know if it was because of fear or other emotions, Jiang Ma's voice trembled more and more, and the veins on her forehead burst out of anger, as if Chuning could be torn apart in an instant in front of her.Jiang Yao had never seen her mother's temper like this before, she was too scared to say a word, but she caught some clues...

Chuning hurt herself?She knew her mother?Is she alive or dead...

The task of blind dates in the past two years has been heavy. I don't know if the family members are too worried that she won't get married, or to cover up some other reasons.Jiang Yao doesn't want to see all kinds of blind date partners, except for adding unwarranted troubles to herself, they can't bring anything.

Once again, she ran away under the pressure of her mother, hurriedly met a strange man for a meal, and found an excuse to slip away.Even in the daytime, she was not very energetic, the days of longing and insomnia had been directly reflected on her face, walking on the street facing the winter sun, she looked so sluggish.

I don't know where this road is going. Jiang Yao has no impression in his memory, but subconsciously wants to walk along it, as if he is out of control.With her hands in the pockets of her cotton coat, she walked mechanically with her feet stiff from the cold, and walked slowly from the bustling and lively street to a quiet and secluded residential area.

The midday sun shines through the old trees beside the dilapidated walls and penetrates into the old residential area. The skewed electric poles are dangerously leaning against the brick wall, and the messy wires are connected to unknown corners of the residential area one by one. The buildings in the 80s and [-]s of the last century were at most five or six stories high. The red bricks and gray tiles were covered with chalk marks as if they were pranks by children. Small advertisements were posted everywhere. As long as the dust on the ground is blown by the wind, There must be dust all over the sky.Occasionally, an old woman carrying a vegetable basket to pick up the children from school passed by, and they all looked at Jiang Yao with weird eyes. It was noon, and there were various sounds from the kitchen from the doors and windows of every household, such as chopping vegetables, chopping meat, and stewing soup. of…

This place is so familiar, Jiang Yao stood at the door of the alley in a daze, letting the cold wind make her shiver, a certain place in her mind seemed to wake up, chaotic, and she would know the unknown.She felt that she had been here before, she knew how many buildings and families there were in the community, and even by intuition, she could still remember where the one she wanted to go to was.

Chu Ning's figure seemed to be looming in front of him, waving at her, leading her to the direction she had intuited.Moving her steps, Jiang Yao stretched out her hand in a daze, trying to touch the woman, but only touched the air, she chased and quickened her pace, the third unit building in front, the second floor.

The stairwell is narrow and dirty, and there is a cold wind passing by, Jiang Yao can always hear a voice whispering to her like in a dream: Come on, Yaoyao, come on, I am here...

In the room on the right hand side of the second floor, the iron door is closed, perhaps because it has not been lived in for a long time, and it is covered with thick dust. Jiang Yao subconsciously reached out to pull the iron door, but her head suddenly hurt, as if As if someone had poked some acupuncture point, she hugged her head violently and squatted down.

The wind whizzed past her ears again, and the fragments of memories that were originally scattered broke into her brain like a piece, she couldn't help shouting, her vision became more and more blurred, multiple images, she remembered, she had been here .

——Even if your parents don't agree, it doesn't matter, you won't have nowhere to go, this is our nest.

——Yaoyao, when you are not by my side, I am very scared.

——Although the house is a bit dilapidated, we will have a new house to live in when it is demolished.

I don't know whether the tears shed were from pain or sadness, Jiang Yao hunched her body against the dirty wall, rubbed the dust all over her body but didn't feel it, her chest hurt so much, as if something was about to burst Suddenly, an inexplicable sadness rose in her heart, the pain made her breathless, and every deep breath drew out more sorrow.Who is that woman, why did she appear in her hallucinations repeatedly, she called her Yaoyao, she hugged her, kissed her, loved her...

The pain in her head gradually subsided, Jiang Yao's tear-wet eyes were swollen and red, she patted her chest desperately trying to let herself breathe more air, her throat was choked, she stood up against the wall, grabbed the door The iron gate, the big lock that had been covered with dust just now, was gone.Inside the iron gate was a wooden gate, which seemed to be concealed in order to wait for her to come. Jiang Yao only pushed lightly, then staggered into the room.

The cold, damp musty smell wafted through his nostrils.

The house was not big, with two bedrooms and one living room, the living room was small, the room was also small, the floor was covered with dust, all the furniture in the house was covered with white cloth, and even the windows were nailed tightly.Jiang Yao stood in the living room blankly, looking around the room, a strong sense of familiarity made her feel sour, as if she had found something she had lost, and she remembered everything.

She has lived here and lived happily. Look at the sofa, she is sitting there eating snacks with the woman in her dream, look at the kitchen, she is wearing an apron and cooking, not all the dishes she used to be good at are What I like to eat, look at the bedroom, that quaint big bed, I can vaguely hear two people breathing...

The sudden increase in the amount of information made Jiang Yao a little unacceptable, and her thoughts became a mess. She turned around in every place in the room and returned to the living room. On the top of the TV was a big black cloth covered The photo frame, Jiang Yao slowly stretched out her hand to uncover the black cloth, it was the familiar face in the black and white photo.

The astonishment in the eyebrows, the cold expression, the slight smile at the corner of the mouth, the tenderness in the eyes...Chuning's remains were simply frozen in the photo frame.

It was the woman in the dream, it was Chu Ning, the one she wanted to remember, to find, the one she loved...Jiang Yao took a step back suddenly, her breathing became more and more rapid, big tears rolled down her cheeks, Hitting the floor was like hitting her heart one after another.

——Yaoyao, in fact, I have always been by your side.

The pair of eyes in the posthumous photo seemed to be able to speak, staring at Jiang Yao for a moment, full of tenderness turned into strong sadness, as if asking her why she forgot.

"Aning..."

With a soft call, Jiang Yao was choked up and couldn't speak, her brain felt like it was going to explode and the pain was repeated, and the whole room was spinning in an instant, she seemed to have fallen into a bottomless abyss, struggling to get out, and then her eyes went black , lost consciousness...

They were still on campus that year, and they were goddesses who were envied by everyone. Chuning always looked light and graceful with long hair, raising the most vigorous power of life.Sometimes Jiang Yao would think about how a girl who left the love of her parents since she was a child grew up into the gentle and lovely appearance she is now. She is the girl with the best personality she has ever seen, and she is also her sunshine.

——That’s great, Yaoyao, you always paint me so beautifully.

In the memory, the figures of the two appeared in the forest path, looking forward to the future and planning the next life.They lay on the grass basking in the warm sun, leaning against each other quietly, hugging and kissing, just like the unreal seven-color halos in the air, the so-called dreams in their mouths are actually very fragile.

At a certain point, Jiang Yao's memory is like ignited gunpowder, the aftermath rippling and making rings and sounds, shaking into her heart, she can remember the people she loved, and herself who was loved.Those gloomy days are hidden in the depths of memory. They didn't have the courage to face the pressure from their families, and they lived under the shadow of fear all day long. They tried to escape, tried to disappear, and hid in such an old small broken house Here, temporarily living a wonderful life like a couple of gods and immortals...

—— Yaoyao, will you abandon me?

Forced to the point of no return, that was the last night, she hugged Chuning and lay on the old big bed, which was also one of the last legacies left by Chuning's parents.Fingers gently ran through her hair, and it was smooth and fragrant. Jiang Yao's momentary hesitation when asked this question crushed the last bit of hope in Chuning's heart.

——I'm sorry, but I can't make it difficult for you because of me.

The warmth of the gentle village makes Jiang Yao reluctant to leave, that silly woman always thinks of her too much, is so kind and loves her so much.Even if she blamed herself thousands of times, Jiang Yao couldn't forgive herself. At the most difficult moment of choice, she abandoned love, but Chuning chose to fulfill it.

——In fact, everyone will leave this world in the end. Even if I have to leave in the future, it will be in the most beautiful appearance.

Also in this dilapidated room, Chuning sat alone on the floor, holding a painting Jiang Yao gave her, muttering to himself.Her eyes are empty and desperate, she has been like this since Jiang Yao left, nothing is important.

That night Chuning put on the most beautiful makeup for herself, without leaving a single word, embraced all the memories Jiang Yao gave her, and left this world of living people forever.Her body curled up into a ball, carefully protecting the painting in her arms, slowly becoming cold and stiff, and everything would be over...

Jiang Yao, who was in a coma, already burst into tears, as if an invisible hand was ruthlessly pinching her heart, the pain spread all over her limbs, and she couldn't even twitch.She murmured Chuning's name, but she couldn't grab anything with her outstretched hand, she couldn't find vent while sobbing, the hazy dream changed too quickly, and there was a little light in her vision.She lay on the floor, her closed eyelids moved, and slowly opened...

It didn't know when the outside darkened, it seemed that it was dark, and the gloomy cold light was on in the room, Jiang Yao got up in a daze, still muttering Chu Ning's name, and didn't have time to reflect what was going on with her. Those memories that had been retrieved surged into her thoughts.It's true, everything is true, she betrayed Chuning, and left behind the woman who was afraid of her leaving, because she was loved, she was confident, and because of deep love, Chuning was so humble.

"Yaoyao."

Suddenly someone called her, Jiang Yao turned her head reflexively, and Chu Ning sat quietly on the sofa, her waist-length hair covered half of her side face, her starry eyes were full of resentment, and the black coat almost wrapped her whole body , only revealing a pair of slender legs wearing shiny leather boots, without the white scarf.

Sure enough, at night, did Chuning appear...

Jiang Yao thought she was dreaming, so she walked up to Chuning step by step, stretched out her hand and slowly approached her face, wanting to touch it, but was caught off guard by Chuning.The bone-chilling chill is not unfamiliar at all, and it even makes people miss it. Jiang Yao covets the cool air on Chuning's body, and can't help but hug her and put her face close to her, "Where have you been these few days, I..."

She wants to say, I miss you so much, I want to go crazy, I want to be sick.

But Chuning interrupted her, and took advantage of the opportunity to hug her body and put it in his arms, absorbing the warmth from her body, "Yaoyao, do you remember?"

"Um…"

"That's good."

After finishing speaking, Chu Ning fell silent, her black eyes stared at Jiang Yao unblinkingly, soaked in a thick and indelible melancholy, she slowly approached those soft lips that were flowing with blood, and touched a trace of warmth. He kissed her greedily, closed his eyes, and asked for it without hesitation.Jiang Yao twisted her body a little restlessly. She still had a lot of questions to ask, and a lot of things she wanted to say to Chuning. She was eager to explain something, but she saw that Chuning had already penetrated into the kiss, and the cold tip of her tongue was wantonly sweeping The breath of life passed between her lips and teeth, leaving behind a faint fragrance.

"Umm... Ah Ning..."

This name awakened Chuning, who was addicted to that lust. She froze for a moment, opened her eyes, and licked the corners of Jiang Yao's mouth as if aftertaste, her eyes full of tenderness, "Yaoyao, do you remember that I said, kiss you?" When you are here, don't bother me."

"Don't go..."

Jiang Yao, who was awake, grabbed her wrist suddenly, and at the moment of the kiss just now, she clearly felt the farewell in Chuning's mind, which was very clear and firm.The person I have been looking for for so many days, I finally found it after losing it, but I never thought that Chu Ning came to say goodbye to her, and she knew that this farewell would really be forever, and there would be no chance for her to make up for her mistakes...

"fool."

"Please…"

Chuning smiled and didn't speak.