Qianfan

The young man on the bed felt warm at first, as if his whole body was supported by warm water, and then found someone holding his hand for massage.He straightened his fingers, which tingled a little, and soon bent them again.A pair of palms came together, palms facing palms, fingers touching the back of the hands, gently stroking around the tingling point.Qian Fan felt like returning to the day when he was picked up by his grandma, who also helped him massage the back of his hand that was swollen from the needles.

During this time, there was a sound of walking around, as if someone came in to inquire about his condition, Qian Fan was confused when he heard it, he wanted to wake up, but what was wrong?

For a moment, he was a little dislocated in time and space, as if he was still a teenager. While he was sick and always on alert, he comforted himself thinking that grandma was here, so he could rest at ease.

He didn't open his eyes until he heard a distant and familiar deep male voice talking to the doctor.

Lu Zhengfan?

No, dreaming.

Opening a slit, Qian Fan only saw Lu Zhengfan's back, he quickly closed his eyes, and repeated hypnotically in his heart: Fake, it's a dream, it's a dream...it must be a dream again.

It's not that he hasn't dreamed about Lu Zhengfan, dreaming that he smiled at him, and then hugged him, sometimes very gentle, sometimes very violent, like the kind of two people who were lingering to death before, wishing to melt him into his own flesh and blood Strength.Sometimes he sat beside him, staring at the computer screen, while he was reading the book Lu Zhengfan chose for himself.Or the two of them are in a strange home, even though they have never seen that place, Mengli Qianfan knows that it is the "home" where the two of them will live later.

I also had bad dreams. Something happened to Lu Zhengfan, he disappeared, and he could never be found again.

His eyelashes suddenly became wet, he didn't understand why he dreamed of Lu Zhengfan repeatedly in the past two years?We've only been together for a few months, so why can he fall into a dream so easily?

He was so unwilling, he didn't realize that Lu Zhengfan, his elder brother, had been dreaming about this person for more than ten years.

Softly involved, feeling lost.

The ups and downs in my heart, naturally no one noticed.There was a tear in the corner of his eye.

It wasn't until the tear was gently wiped away that he opened his eyes uncertainly, and the face that disturbed his lucid dream just ran into his eyelids.

Qian Fan's lips trembled, his voice hoarse: "... Lu Zhengfan?"

The person in front of him nodded.

"Brother? Is it a dream?"

The person in front of him gave a wry smile.

Qianfan blinked quickly, as if he wanted to put the man in front of his eyes into his eyes and close them.A face that he restrained and secretly thought many times was in front of his eyes, his heart was beating violently, it was about to burst out of his chest, on the one hand he was breathing in fear, fearing that the person in front of him would be blown away, on the other hand he was He looked eagerly at Lu Zhengfan, for fear that he would disappear if he made a wrong eye.

Like countless times of waking up from a dream, alone.

He looked at Lu Zhengfan, and picked the palm of his hand with the hand that didn't have the needle. He felt it, and it was true.

He looked at Lu Zhengfan, felt sad again, and thought: "Why is this so thin? Dark? Why are there reddish bloodshot eyes? Don't frown at me, I will think you don't like me anymore! "

Lu Zhengfan sighed, his gaze remained on his face, unwilling to look away.Qian Fan's change of expression fell into his eyes, how could he not guess it?

But after all, he didn't dare to guess Qian Fan's current intentions, he could be said to do whatever he wanted in his life, and he never had the confusion of being hesitant to move forward, and it fell into Qian Fan's hands.

It can be seen that love is not only noble and great sometimes, it is so clever that even smart people are helpless.

Lu Zhengfan pulled up the quilt for him, found his own voice with difficulty, and said, "You really pissed me off."

Qian Fan lives in a single room, so it's just the two of them.After Qianfan didn't answer, the ward was eerily silent.

Qian Fan saw the report on the bedside table, there were at least a dozen reports of various examinations and results, he thought of his stomach, and the prediction of the doctor with the crow's mouth before, and then looked at Lu Zhengfan beside him, he was a little panicked, I Isn't there something wrong with your body?

He sat up with one hand, and Lu Zhengfan cushioned him with a pillow, remembering that the doctor said that Qian Fan could drink some porridge when he woke up, and turned to leave——

Qianfan, who was entangled in restraint and longing, suddenly hugged him.

Lu Zhengfan was stunned, he quickly lowered his head to see if the needle on the back of Qian Fan's hand was crooked, and then he felt joyful and sad, and a little unbelievable: What is this?

Qian Fan was sick and crooked, this hug can be said to have exhausted all his strength and courage.

Outside the corridor is the sound of hurried footsteps, and the sound of the wheels of the medicine dispensing truck. Outside is the noise of dense low pressure, but here is the dense and oppressive silence.

Qianfan leaned against Lu Zhengfan's waist, and the temperature from the opponent's body made him regain his consciousness.One or two years without any contact, he thought that time was like water, it would wash away the body's feeling for that person and the heart's longing for that person, who knew that he would engrave Lu Zhengfan in his mind before parting The idea is really not just thinking about it, that person is really deeply engraved in his heart.

Time will only make him see the traces in his heart clearly.

He had also imagined the scene of a sudden meeting, and he didn't think there would be much emotional ups and downs. He would only know after meeting that some people were destined to be born to "torture" another person.

Love is debt.

Lu Zhengfan bent over and was hugged by him, giving birth to a feeling of being dependent on each other.He took off Qian Fan's hand from his waist and explained that he was going to buy him a bowl of porridge, but Qian Fan hurriedly grabbed his clothes again: "You must not go!"

Lu Zhengfan straightened his waist halfway, then bent down again, and sat on the edge of the bed to be hugged by him.The day-to-day persistence was like a mountain. The perseverance and restraint he had always been proud of collapsed with a "boom" under Qianfan's aggrieved eyes.

He felt sorry for Qian Fan and himself, and finally said, "You..."

"I only have you!" Qian Fan didn't know if it was because the disease made people emotional and vulnerable, or if all his self-control was overdrawn in the past two years, he lowered his head not to look at Lu Zhengfan, and said to himself My own words, "I have no parents or other relatives! I used to see the lights of other people's homes and I would think why I don't have a home! Do you know how happy and uncomfortable I often dream about you?! Happiness is the world I am not Alone, the uncomfortable thing is that I have feelings for my elder brother... That is the identity of the elder brother, no, it is not like this! This is not right..." He spoke incoherently, and his rational defense seemed powerless.In the last sentence, he broke his voice and cried.

So what about wandering, what about being driven away, what about not having enough food and sleep, what about not daring to think about whether tomorrow will be dead or alive. He felt that life was not so bad, so he used this to hypnotize himself not to die on the road.

He survived year after year, only for the color of the butterfly when he regenerated. (Note)

Because butterflies will transform, the mystery and ultimate beauty of life are in the process of transformation.Qianfan doesn't have such poetic motives, he lives only because he believes that everything will eventually pass away, and he will find his relatives at a certain station of wandering.

Lu Zhengfan's main purpose of this trip was to take care of Qian Fan, and he planned to leave quietly after Qian Fan woke up, not taking a cloud with him.But facing that pale face, his gaze stuck to his face and could not be torn off, he was nailed in place and could not move.

If holding Qianfan's hand is the greatest restraint, then the few words Qianfan yelled when he was unconscious were enough to make him feel at ease.

It took Lu Zhengfan a lot of effort not to hold Qian Fan into his arms, he helplessly raised his hand and touched the top of Qian Fan's head: "What do you want me to do..."

That palm was like the big fan of Princess Iron Fan, fanning Qian Fan's soul for tens of thousands of miles, staring at Lu Zhengfan in a daze, his eyes were a little pitiful.

Lu Zhengfan's heart skipped a beat when he saw him. He was used to seeing Qian Fan, and after two years of separation, he had turned his appearance over and over in his mind for countless times. He no longer paid attention to whether he was handsome or ordinary. His facial features are clear and handsome, and he has a youthful and steady temperament.

"Bastard boy!" Lu Zhengfan thought, "Who ran away without saying a word?" It's hard to understand, but who made me let him go?He is wronged, am I not wronged?Lu Zhengfan gave him a sideways glance, and said in a tone like he usually lectures naughty boys in class: "No!"

Note: The original words were written by Sanmao, "I survived year after year, just for the color of the butterfly when I regenerated."

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