loop back

When Wei Youdong lifted me up from the hotel bed, I was still drunk, the hangover that made Wei Youdong's fists on my face no longer hurt, it was a little numb.

I didn't fight back, so I fell down on the ground and continued to sleep. Just when I was about to lose my consciousness, a basin of cold water hit my face, and every drop of it stuck to my face.

Now I'm wide awake.

I stood up abruptly and punched Wei Youdong, "You must be fucking sick."

Wei Youdong couldn't dodge in time, and took the punch firmly, but he didn't have alcohol paralysis, and the pain made him frown.

I didn't care about him, I went to the bed to continue my sleep, but Wei Youdong dragged my hand to his face before I touched the edge of the bed.

"You are sick……"

"Liao Wentong is gone!!"

"..."

Wei Youdong was in a hurry, his facial features wrinkled together in anger.

And I have only silence.

What's up with me...

Wei Youdong threw me to the ground, at his feet.

"I'm fucking here to tell you... I'll tell you all... That photo is when Wen Tong was... raped in prison, you can see the scar on Liao Wentong's wrist, he went through that What do you think will happen to him?! Ah?!"

Wei Youdong squatted down and lifted my face, which must have been stained with tears.

"All of this is for you! Liao Wentong went to prison for you! All this happened to him because he loves you! Do you think that you are the most wronged all the time, and you are the victim?"

I stood up, picked up Wei Youdong's collar and punched him.

"If you hadn't set up a fucking mess to lure my dad in! If it hadn't been because you were too ambitious! Would things have developed to what they are today?"

He didn't fight back, and stood there wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth with his hands.

"...I just want you to leave him."

"So you fucking send me pictures?"

What's the use of looking into the past? The word fate begins and the word evil ends. Everything is just trapped by love.

Youdong calmed down and took a step forward.

"Liao Wentong is gone! Think about where he can go?"

"Gone?"

"He disappeared from the hospital yesterday!"

"Hospital?!"

"...he has stomach cancer."

"Stomach cancer?!"

The successive blows made me flustered, I pushed Wei Youdong away, and hurried out to take a taxi.

Gone, stomach cancer...

I suddenly remembered Liao Wentong's strange behavior and his recent weight loss, I closed my eyes in pain, I'm fucking... really fucked off.

I tried hard to find my original intention in my mind, how... how did it become like this today.

I took a taxi and went back to our home, the place we grew up together, but it was empty, and even everything about him lost my sense of familiarity, and they only brought me a deep feeling. of fear.

Not here... Liao Wentong is not here...

I sat down on the floor decadently,

Where has he gone, where can he go.

All I could think of was fear.

It turned out that I was the one who was unfaithful to this relationship, and it turned out that you never chose to love me or not.

-

I'm sorry, I've misunderstood time and time again, my possessiveness, my mistrust, and the time and time again I hurt you in the name of loving you.

You are always thinking of me, and you have even implemented actions, even if it is an extremely terrible action, even if it is destroying your own world, you must protect me from a little grievance and pain.

And like this, I still doubt your feelings for me, abandon you when you are the most helpless and desperate, tell you never to see you again, tell you regret, I am sorry, it turns out that I am the most stupid people.

-

But I didn't find you.

I've searched almost all over the city and I can't find you.

It has been five days, and there is no news from Liao Wentong.

Wei Youdong told me that such terrible things happened while he was in prison for me.

Wei Youdong told me that Wen Tong was ill.

Wei Youdong told me that he was seriously ill.

Wei Youdong told me everything.

Liao Wentong...

I searched all the places he could go, and asked my friends in the police station to help me find the monitoring.

"Uncle, I'm sorry..."

I found Uncle Liao's grave.

It turned out to be in the back two rows of my parents' cemetery.

But I can only say the most useless sorry.

I also realized that I have nothing else to say except I'm sorry. I sat down and the autumn wind rustled the leaves.

Wei Youdong called.

"Hey……"

"Did you find it?! Ah?!"

"No……"

"Then where are you now? You are fucking looking for it!"

"..."

I was speechless, after Liao Wentong disappeared, Wei Youdong basically went into a state of insanity, he hadn't slept for several nights, he was driving outside every day, maybe he could find Wen Tong by chance.

This kind of him makes me even more vulnerable. Wei Youdong is no less than I love Liao Wentong, and even surpasses me a lot. Trust alone already makes me feel ashamed.

If I hadn't been involved in the past, Liao Wentong's life trajectory would not have been so grim and uneven.

Fool, just because you love me.

I hung up the phone and continued to think about where else Liao Wentong could go.

Wen Tong, this time, don't let me find it easily, it's best to let me despair for a few more days...

but……

But it's good for a few days, I can't last long.

Although I'm selfish, possessive and an asshole.

But I love you bastard.

Although I am a bastard, when it comes to loving you, I am always the only one in my eyes.

-

The setting sun dyed the sky orange red, today is coming to an end, so tomorrow, if tomorrow is a sunny day, let me meet Liao Wentong in such a fine weather.

Suddenly, a flash of light flashed in my mind, I put my phone away, pulled myself together, and ran out of the cemetery.

"Hey, I'll give you candy, you have it too..."

I distributed the candies in my hand to two children who were playing by the bridge. They were chubby and cute.

"Thank you." The adult who led them thanked me.

"You're welcome."

Just now this lady came to ask me where there is a supermarket that sells water. It seems that she came here to play on weekends. Our school is very big, and it is not easy for people outside the school to find a place. She also brought children, so I simply agreed. , Let them wait here, I will help them buy.

Saying goodbye to them, I walked outside the school, and the steel coin for change suddenly fell into the gap in the wooden road. I squatted down to buckle the steel coin, and instead of getting out the small piece, it sank deeper and deeper. I pursed my lips, forget it.

I got up and continued to walk outside the school.

-

"Boss, have a pork chop rice."

It is said that people come in and out of the school gate on weekends, but today there are surprisingly few people. The simple dining car that is usually covered by people does not need to queue up now.

Today's students don't eat pork chop rice anymore.

"Brother, you are..."

The boss pressed the rice into the pot and looked at me strangely.

I looked down at myself and smiled back awkwardly.

"Brother, my craftsmanship is so good that you can come out wearing a hospital gown to praise me while you are in the hospital..."

The boss grinned and made fun of me.

"It's delicious, here's the money."

I took the pork chop rice and found a communal seat next to me to sit down and eat my meal.

Ok.

I fled.

Because I know that my life is very short.

So, do everything you want to do where you want to go.

I went to that field of flowers a few days ago, well, no one took care of them, they were all bullied by weeds and sick.

I also went to see my parents, uncles and aunts.

Ah, I secretly went to see Cheng Jun, he is still very busy, the concert is coming soon.

Pork chop rice is not as good as the one I had with Hanyu many years ago.

I swallowed a mouthful, my stomach churned, and a pool of blood stains came out from the spoon, with a strong smell of blood.

The head becomes heavy, as if a fever has been going on for a long time.

I was in a daze, as if I saw Hanyu...

I tried to open my eyes, and Hanyu was walking towards me.

I stood up to meet him.

It's great that you finally came to me.

You finally found me...

But my head is very dizzy, Hanyu, I have no strength.

When the consciousness disappeared, there was still daylight in front of him.

And my name was yelled out of Hanyu's mouth.

Dad, I have forgotten what my mother looks like. This time, I can see enough at once.

Uncle, I want to reward you. Although the process was twists and turns, I have protected Hanyu very well.

I am pretty tired.

Can do, can not do.

I tried my best to finish it.

If there is something wrong, I will change it in the next life.

Now, I really have no strength.

This time, it's finally my day.

It will always be mine.

if so.

very nice.

Autumn goes to winter, December has just begun, and it will be the end of the month in a blink of an eye.

It was frosty last night, and everything in front of us was foggy, and even the late sun couldn't save them.

The weather is not very cold, but God has to match the cold wind for today.

I carried the baby's breath in my arms and hurried forward, there was still a street away from where I parked, and the cold wind blew through my exposed skin.

The students are all on vacation, the video store on the roadside is full of people, and there is a promotional poster of Cheng Jun who has just released an album and held a tour concert at the door, which says, the last stop.

In the middle of winter, the shop owner didn’t know what to think. He played a piece of heavy metal music by an unknown boy group, which made my ears irritated. I went into the video store and ordered “The Wind Continues to Blow” by Mr. Leslie Cheung.

When I walked out the door, I saw a group of little girls taking photos with the pictorial outside, so I glanced at it.

Hmm...the length is far from Wen Tong's.

-

"I advise you to go home early

you said you didn't want to go back

just ask me to hold you

The long sea breeze gently cools the wildfire

i see you sad

You say how can I be willing to go

Cry is also beautiful

How to stop crying

I have to kiss your hair

Let the wind continue to blow and can't bear to stay away

My heart longs to stay with you

The wind keeps blowing

心里 亦 有 泪 不 愿 着 着 你

过去 多少 快乐 记忆

何妨 与 你 去 追

要 将 忧郁苦痛 洗 去

柔情 蜜意 我 愿 记取

要 强忍 离情泪

未许 它 向下 垂

frowning

别 离泪 始终 要 下垂

I've made you happy and you've made me crazy

You are already in my heart, no need to ask who remembers

Keep every tear in your eyes why is it still flowing silently"

I continued to walk forward, the lyrics and the cold wind gradually dissipated in my ears.

For some reason, tears fell, and the temperature brought out from the body was quickly absorbed by the cold winter, and the coolness hanging on the face was very uncomfortable.

-

"Boss, you are back."

"Ah."

Yi Ning delivered the food to the guests and handed me a cup of hot cocoa. I haven't dissipated the cold air yet, making this cup of hot drink extremely hot in my hands.

I put the baby's breath on the table.

"Thank you."

"Ah, by the way, Mr. Wei came just now and left this for me."

I took the document bag from Yi Ning, opened it, and inside was a property transfer certificate, which belonged to this small coffee house and the sea of ​​flowers behind it.

Wen Tong was not familiar with this place before. In fact, there is a natural grassland here, which is bigger than what he saw. The three kilometers around the hut are scattered with large and small flowers, and there are natural pedestrian paths.

Two months ago, I took down this coffee shop and this sea of ​​flowers from Wei Youdong, and I also re-applied for Yi Ning.

The price is that I sold the company to Wei Youdong.

Not only do I not regret it, but I like the life of watching people come and go in the coffee shop more and more. The business of the coffee shop is good, and commercial streets and resort areas have developed around it, so most of the business in my small coffee shop is tourists .

Wei Youdong and I got drunk the day we took over my company. He patted me on the shoulder and said to me: "You are really good at calculating, you are the one who enjoys leisure the most..."

Turning to look at him, he was already in tears.

"...I can't do it, how can I not feel uncomfortable if I am idle... I'd better be busy..."

-

After drinking most of the hot cocoa, my body also returned to temperature. I took the pot of baby's breath to the greenhouse and took out the withered ones.

I sighed, it is said that the Gypsophila is particularly cold-resistant, why is it so disrespectful to me, I have raised three pots of Gypsophila to death, and it is not as good as the one I raised when I was a child.

I knelt down and teased the new classmate with my fingers. The owner of the flower shop said that this is a new variety, and when it blooms, it will be a gradual change of green.

I don't know if I will raise you well. Growing flowers is really a technical job, and I don't know how that person raises you so lively...

-

At night, this piece of land is no longer as desolate as it used to be, and the colorful lights illuminate the bustling city scene.

Not far from my coffee shop, there is a gymnasium that has just been completed, which is the last stop of Chengjun's tour.

I greeted Sung Joon’s manager, he took me to a row of seats in front of the stage and asked me to choose a seat, I didn’t sit down, I found a place in the corner where I could clearly see the LED screen standing.

At this moment, Cheng Jun is singing and dancing hard, and I don’t know why Cheng Jun is in a coma. In this cold winter, he has to come here to build a gymnasium without heating, but it is indoors anyway, otherwise the fans who come to listen to the music will not be happy. I have suffered.

The big screen suddenly went dark, not only the screen, but also the whole venue. There was only a beam of light on the stage, illuminating Cheng Jun from top to bottom, binding him tightly within the scope of that beam of light.

"The last song...I want to give it to my friend."

The fans immediately started discussing, asking each other who this friend is.

"...Although we haven't known each other for a long time, he really gave me a lot of musical help..."

"He is the first person I have met in this industry who has a vision and a heart for music..."

"...So, this last song, I want him to sing..."

The prelude sounded, and a few more lights were turned on on the field.

"This is also him. He recorded it in advance and prepared it for his lover, but he didn't have time to send it out. I know his lover is here too... I will replace him... and give this song to you."

At the end of the prelude, Liao Wentong's clear voice sounded.

This is the song he sang to me on the street when I went out with him.

He obviously gave it to me...

The fans on the field boiled for a while and then slowly quieted down to listen to the song.

I don't know what they are boiling and what they are quiet.

No one can replace him, who gave you the right to replace him?

Why do so many people listen to what Liao Wentong sang for me, and only for me.

I suddenly had a tight pain in my chest, I raised my steps and ran out of the gym frantically, leaving the hustle and bustle of the concert behind me, I ran to the sea of ​​flowers behind my coffee shop in one breath.

I have tidied up the back of the house in an orderly manner, and I have installed a few vertical lamps in the middle of the sea of ​​flowers.

The high-frequency breathing caused by the strenuous exercise squeezed my lungs, and my chest heaved violently. When I lost my head, I fell limply on the stone tablet, and carefully looked at the photos on it under the dim light.

The boy in the photo is wearing a wreath, which seems to be a photo taken by someone inadvertently, with a real and brilliant smile.

-

Liao Wentong has left me for two months.

The stone tablet is cold, I seem to feel the same coldness that I felt when I hugged him tightly in the hospital that day, that was his last temperature, even the ring that fell off his hand was cold, as if it had been with me for so many years In the end, Liao Wentong only gave me this cold temperature.

I didn't understand the true meaning of your absence until today.

You are gone.

I can't see you, I can't hear you, but I can still see you, I can hear you, and you are everywhere I go.

You are gone.

I can't talk to you, I can't give you a warm hug, and even hearing your breath is an extravagant hope.

You know how long it took me to accept this as a given.

Every day when I get up, I have to touch my side to realize that I am not there without you. I always make two servings of breakfast before I can realize that I am not without you.

But in this world, you are everywhere.

How can you have the heart to leave me alone in this world without you.

I lay on the stone tablet, crying uncontrollably.

In January, this city ushered in its first snow. I hurried to Huahai to clean up the snow on the stone tablet. Liao Wentong still smiled so sweetly. I kissed him and said Good morning.

In the next few days, the temperature began to rise again. I picked the day when the sun was the biggest and brightest, and went to the small town where I traveled with Liao Wentong.

The atmosphere of the New Year in the town is strong, and there are festive lights and festoons everywhere.

I still followed the path in my memory and climbed up the dirt slope, where there was still a stall with blessing signs.

I bought another one, but I didn't know what to write, so I wrote Liao Wentong's name and took off one of the rings on my left hand and tied it on it.

I suddenly remembered the sign written by Liao Wentong. I looked through the red silk, and I really found the one that Liao Wentong didn't let me see.

Only four words are written on it.

Your heart pleases you.

I froze for a moment, then grinned.

Fool, I know.

-

Then I set up the sign and walked towards the tower. After walking a few steps, I turned back, took the ring back, and put it on the ring finger of my left hand, next to the ring on the middle finger.

Of course I hate him.

-

I climbed up that tower and climbed to the highest level, but the scenery was not as good as I imagined.Probably because there is no development, the surrounding mountains are very desolate.

I touched the ring on my hand and thought to myself, I brought you up together.

Although the scenery is not attractive, the lake in the distance is very close to my heart.

The sun does not melt when sprinkled in the water, sparkling and shining warmly, connecting with the sky, like the avenue leading to heaven.

I could see Liao Wentong coming out slowly, smiling at me, and I smiled at him, walking towards him.

-

"I like you so much, do you want to be with me?"

"……want!"

-

I'm here, fool.

——————BadEnd————————